college essay about being a fraternal twin

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Embracing My Identity: Navigating College Life as a Fraternal Twin

Table of contents, shared memories, individual paths, support and independence, creating my own community, forging a stronger bond.

• Eisenbruch, A. B. (2005). Siblings of twins: A unique resource. Twin Research and Human Genetics, 8(4), 339-349.
• Feiler, B. (2012). The siblings are listening. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/fashion/the-siblings-are-listening.html
• Kuczynski, L. (2003). Handbook of dynamics in parent-child relations. Sage Publications.
• Noller, P., & Callan, V. J. (1988). Adolescents' perceptions of their sibling relationships during middle adolescence. Child Development, 59(5), 1268-1274.
• Segal, N. L. (2019). Twin and sibling differences in educational achievement: A behavioral-genetic perspective. Twin Research and Human Genetics, 22(5), 363-369.

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Being a Twin Essay Example

One of the most common things people say to me is “I wish I had a twin too!” But what they don’t understand is that twinhood isn't exactly as incredible as it seems in the movies. The idea that twins always have a close-knit relationship with each other leaves people dreaming of having a twin of their own. While this stereotype has a basis of truth, people don’t understand that the relationships between twins almost completely mirror those of everyday siblings. The only difference between the relationships of twins and those between other siblings is the labeling placed upon us by others in society. Sometimes twins simply want to be seen as “normal”, rather than stand out due to something we can’t control. Being a fraternal twin has been both a blessing and a detriment, but has undoubtedly shaped me into the person that I am today.

My whole life my brother and I have been known as “the twins”. Although we share few physical similarities and educational interests, people don't distinguish us as individuals. This situation has created real tension between my brother and I, as we both stride to be recognized. Whether it’s grades, academics, or athletics, we are constantly trying to outdo the other. The reason we feel the need to compete is because we are constantly being compared by others. People tend to ask who the “smart” or “athletic” twin is, not considering how psychologically destructive these questions can be. What makes the situation worse is that after years of constantly being compared, I began to do it as well. 

Looking back, I have realized that when I was younger I developed a feeling of resentment towards my brother; I didn't understand why people continued to group us together. In my head I knew that we were completely different people, but this simply didn't seem to resonate to others. I spoke with my parents about my concerns, and they told me there was little to be done about my situation. I realized they were right, I understood that it was time to let go of my predisposed ideology that twinhood was a burden. I began to understand that I was blessed with someone who will always be able to relate to my issues, and give me reliable solutions. Ever since then my relationship with my brother has flourished tremendously; rather than compete with each other we have begun to collaborate on issues we both face. This turn in my life changed me into a completely different person. I am now more open to cooperation with all people in general, and use my competitive spirit towards bettering myself. I transformed from someone who was quite introverted and self-conscious, to someone who is outgoing and driven. After overcoming my initial struggles, being a twin has changed my outlook on both life and society as a whole.

Being a twin doesn’t define me. What defines me is how I dealt with my early struggles, and improved as an individual. Early on in my childhood I would lay in bed late at night wishing that when I woke up, I could have a “normal” sibling. I wanted to get out of the center of attention, and fit in with everyone else. But now when I lay in bed, I think about how much better my life is because of my twin brother. Without him I wouldn’t have grown up with conflict, I wouldn’t know how to deal with competition, I wouldn’t even know how to overcome adversity. In retrospect, the situations that at the time were hardships, were actually blessings. I am proud to have a fraternal twin who has made a huge impact on my life. Not only did he help mend our once broken relationship, but he has helped me better myself as a human-being and as a whole.

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I lived with my twin for the first 22 years of our lives. Being together feels like home.

• I have a fraternal twin sister, and we lived together for the first 22 years of our lives. 
• After college, we went our separate ways, and I learned how to occupy the world as just me. 
• We now live 45 minutes from each other, and while bickering is inevitable, we value our company.

As first graders, my twin sister and I would pass each other in the classroom and brush pinkies. 

It's not something I remember, but it was no surprise when my mom told us of our strange but cute semi-regular ritual. When you share a womb and then spend the years following sleeping less than five feet from them, a slight graze of the hand can be a life-or-death emotional recharge. 

Or so it felt that way at 7 years old. 

As we grew older, we started not getting along

My sister, Kate, and I are fraternal twins . Born one minute apart, Kate has a lifelong love for sparkles and is the hardest worker you'll ever meet. My favorite place is to be wrapped up in a blanket. 

Our shared egolessness and drive in school made sharing a life easy. We had the same friends, generally the same taste in music, and until college, we had most of our classes together. 

At home, we were only ever a few feet apart, whether sleeping on our bunk bed or crunching away at homework in our fluorescent green room that grew to be littered with Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber posters. Here, we decompressed from late-night sleepovers with neighborhood kids, the trials and tribulations of middle school, and the exhaustive loop of high school. Solitude and relaxation, together.

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But our room could also be a war zone. Day-to-day offenses included me not moving quickly enough in the morning and Kate forgetting to turn her alarm off while in the shower while I finished sleeping. With adolescence came more and more bickering, but our mom learned not to act as a peace facilitator. Attempts to settle foolish fights would only result in us turning on her and defending one another. 

After college we were finally on our own

Living within several feet of another person for approximately two decades, squabbles escalated into semi-regular, heated, 99.9% verbal fights. We were armed with a lifetime of intimate knowledge about the other, making it easy to whip up a heartbreaking insult at lightning speed. Loaded with irrational fury over whose turn it was to use the car or saying hello while the other studied, we were impulsive with our anger. The occasional oral slap was, to this day, unrepeatable.   

"I can't wait to not live with you anymore" became a regular dig by our last two years of college when our beds sat side-by-side, two feet apart. 

Two months after college, I had my own space for the first time in my life: a makeshift bedroom in the living room of a two-bedroom apartment. It felt like peace reincarnated.

While I settled in Los Angeles, Kate returned to our college town, Phoenix, where she earned a job as a pediatric oncologist nurse. In different parts of the Western United States, we personalized our rooms as we pleased. We also learned to speak in "I's" and "me's" instead of "we's."

Before this, we had never been apart for more than a few days. Twenty-two years old, and each of us had only ever existed as a duo. As I learned how to occupy space in the world as a singular individual, I jumped around Los Angeles between customer service jobs and music writing gigs in an effort to grow a writing career. About a year into being a concert reviewer for a small entertainment blog, the chest tightness I experienced when heading solo to a show became a thing of the past. It also dawned on me that for people to know you, for people to see you, you have to let them. You have to show them.

After two years in Phoenix, Kate returned to our Southern California hometown, and now we are only 45 minutes to two hours apart, depending on traffic. The occasional bickering is inevitable, but so is our approach to walk through life, always leading with empathy — a habit subconsciously developed by living side by side with your diametric opposite since exiting the womb.

And I don't think we'll ever live together again. But being with one another, in any space, always feels like home.

Watch: A self-taught videographer travels the world staying in the coolest Airbnbs

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Twins and the College Application Essay

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College admissions ask applicants to share their unique qualities and interests, but how do you do that when you’re a twin? 

GoQuakers , who is currently studying at the University of Pennsylvania, shares how she approached the college application essay as a twin:

Starting the Common App personal statement essay has a way of channeling everyone’s biggest insecurity throughout the college process: “What if the most unique thing about me is just not unique enough?” Admittedly, I was no exception to this paradigm. In fact, I ended up choosing to write about my experience as an identical twin. My twin sister, by the way, was applying to nearly the same exact list of schools as me. You can probably understand my dilemma.

Being an identical twin was the immediate subject I considered writing about for the Common App prompt “ Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story .” However, I almost shook this thought from my head straightaway, simply because I assumed that it was the “obvious” thing to write about. I felt colleges would see this as something that was built into my life rather than a project I decided to dedicate my soul to or a place that I have found personal contentment in, a subject that solely was about my interests and personality. I was so caught up in sounding exotic and diverse that during my initial consideration of the prompt, I didn’t think it was enough to write about how being a twin has actually made me a more distinct person. To be honest (and warning: extremely sentimental), being an identical twin has truly been the greatest blessing in my life. This role has not only taught me how to be a member of a team, but ironically also how to differentiate myself as an individual that can stand on her own and follow her own destiny. Not a lot of people realize this paradox. As an identical twin, it is often vital to mentally distinguish your fascinations and quirks from those of your sibling as you embrace the qualities that you and your twin share in order to fulfill a greater sense of self.

When I tried to generate more ideas for the prompt, I realized that I didn’t have quite as much to say regarding other accomplishments and experiences. When I finally ran through ideas with a counselor, he noticed this, too, and told me that I was crazy to insist on not going with my gut instinct. Of course, I listened.

Coming from this process, I have two words of advice: be genuine . It’s called a personal statement for a reason. Even if you have an idea that is great in theory, you have to have a lot to say about it, because that it ultimately what conveys passion to admissions officers. That’s right: admissions will see right through your essay if all it consists of is lofty concepts and baroque diction rather than a true bond between the subject and the writer. You could have gone on an amazing service trip during which you saved tens of children from starvation in Sub-Saharan Africa, but if you really don’t connect with that experience on the deepest level possible, that is not necessarily what you should be writing about.

On a general note, I urge applicants to think long and hard about finding a topic that is completely distinct and sincere in regard to what has shaped them and to make sure that they run through their ideas with a counselor, family, friends, or all of the above. That’s what I did, and hey, I’m going to my dream school this coming fall, so something here must have gone right.

Want to read the final version of the essay that got her accepted to UPenn ? You can  unlock her profile  and read her full application. For more inspiration, make sure to search through profiles of students accepted to see  essays, stats, and advice . See how they got in, and how you can too!

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How being a twin changed the way I think about self-esteem

“That’s you. No wait, maybe not. We always dressed you in yellow and Anna in red, yet here you both are in green. No idea.” In keeping with annual holiday tradition, my mom and I don festive sweaters and pour over old family photos like DNA detectives. Now in our late twenties, my fraternal twin sister and I look fairly different (and thankfully dress ourselves), but we spent our first decade on this planet appearing practically identical.

It’s a funny thing, to look back at pictures of your childhood and be unable to discern whether or not the face smiling back in the images is actually you. There are substantially fewer pictures of either of us solo – the bulk of our memories are shared. We shared everything from the womb onward: a bedroom, clothes, friends, interests. We had matching grades throughout primary and secondary school and scored 10 points away from each other on the SATs. We were inseparable as kids and are still best friends to this day, but there was a time not so long ago when this singular identity took its toll on our relationship and nearly destroyed it. As long as humans have roamed the Earth, sibling rivalry has existed. Perhaps even dinosaurs got into squabbles over who was the smartest or best at prehistoric tennis. Competition can be a healthy catalyst for mutual growth. Throughout elementary and middle school, Anna and I pushed each other to do well in school. We both wanted to exceed our parents’ expectations and meet every goal they set for us. However, this need to measure up to shared ideas of success threatened my own feelings of self-worth in high school. My sense of self was entirely dependent on my womb mate. We were a package deal to extended family and friends, not to mention cheap entertainment for nosy strangers in the grocery store. No, we don’t finish each other’s sentences. No, I can’t read her mind. No, her ankle doesn’t hurt when I sprain mine. No, we never traded places in class to prank our teachers. No, there is no evil twin, but that never stopped anyone from comparing us. They say one word can start a war; one hurt feeling can launch a crusade. On an ordinary morning in eleventh grade English class, one simple sentence sparked a feud that challenged my self-esteem for the next decade. “Everybody knows Meg’s the number one twin,” Bobby casually said while pretending to give himself a shot with a mechanical pencil. The thin piece of lead snapped along with my sister’s temper. This external comparison brought our rivalry to unhealthy proportions. The statement was so general that it would haunt us both long after Bobby forgot he’d ever said it. What does it mean to be the number one twin? How did everybody know but us?  This question was our San Andreas fault. When the emotional rift happened, no one was spared —everyone was forced to take a side. I began to doubt myself for the first time and no longer trusted my friends. Were they closer with Anna? Was it because she was funnier, prettier, or smarter than me? What about the boys I liked? Maybe they just flirted with me because she wasn’t interested? Who did my teachers think was number one? What about my own parents?

Going through puberty and navigating adolescence is difficult enough without experiencing a major identity crisis at age 16. Neither of us wanted to be the package deal anymore, but I didn’t know who I was without her, and I didn’t know what my own goals were outside of the shared goals our parents had created for us. I started partying more during our senior year while she stayed home and studied. I was constantly searching for new friends to depend on that could loan me their interests. I became obsessed with what other people thought of me because I didn’t know who I was. My sense of worth hinged on other people. It started with Anna then spread to anyone else within a two-mile radius. Anna seemed so sure of herself, whereas I was lost without a clue. I became depressed and felt I had no real reason to exist. My entire support system had been compromised and I no longer had her as a constant gauge of my own success. “Well, what are you interested in?” my college advisor asked while watering what appeared to be a fake plant. We were alone in her office during my freshman orientation. She didn’t know anything about me, including the correct pronunciation of my last name. This was the first opportunity I had to create a vision solely for myself – terrifying and liberating. College allowed my sister and me the freedom to develop independent visions for our lives. Yes, every visit home still met the same old interrogation and presented room for comparison, but our paths had finally diverged. We took different classes, had separate friends, and pursued wildly different careers. I sought out opportunities for growth that were fulfilling to me, and she did the same. Maintaining a healthy relationship with my twin sister was impossible when my self-esteem suffered. I put too much emphasis on external opinions and had no understanding of my own unique talents and value. Every achievement of hers was a mental sucker-punch; I couldn’t be happy for her because all that she did well only seemed to illuminate my own faults. I had to follow my own interests and begin to focus on developing myself in a way that I’d never been pushed to do before. I engaged in intentional self-reflection and internal drive to meet self-created objectives. Once I charted the unique vision for my own life, I was able to support her in hers. We have a deeper bond today than ever because we’re able to appreciate each other for who we really are, not who others want us to be. The only expectations I have to live up to are my own.

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Speaking of Psychology: What studying twins can teach us about ourselves, with Nancy Segal, PhD

Episode 130 — what studying twins can teach us about ourselves.

From movie plots to ad campaigns to viral videos, if they feature twins, they grab our attention every time. But it’s not only the general public who are fascinated with twins. Over many decades, twins have garnered attention from psychologists and other researchers because of what they can tell us about how our genes and environment interact to make us who we are. Nancy Segal, PhD, a professor of psychology and director of the Twin Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton, talks about the state of twin research today and what we've learned about twins, and from them, over the decades.

About the expert: Nancy Segal, PhD

Streaming Audio

Kim Mills: Twins have long captured the public imagination. Movie plots, ad campaigns, viral videos of twin toddlers babbling at each other in what seems like a secret language—something about twins grabs our attention every time. But it's not only the general public that's fascinated with twins. Twins have also garnered their share of attention from psychologists and other researchers because of what they can tell us about how our genes and environment interact to make us who we are. Where is twin research today? Has our understanding of human genetics has advanced in recent years? Do twin studies remain vital? What about twins who were raised apart and meet later in life? What can we learn from those natural experiments? And why are so many people, scientists and laypeople alike, so fascinated with twins?

Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines the links between psychological science and everyday life. I'm Kim Mills.

If you enjoy Speaking of Psychology, the conversation doesn't have to stop when the podcast is over. Get unlimited access to hundreds of videos about the latest in psychology for just one low price by registering for access to APA's 2020 virtual convention. Start with some of our selected videos featuring psychology's biggest names, discussing such issues as COVID-19, racism and stigma. Or let your curiosity takeover and use our on-demand library to explore any topic. Go to convention.apa.org/podcast . That's convention.apa.org/podcast.

Our guest today is Dr. Nancy Segal, a professor of psychology and director of the Twin Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton. She has spent her entire career studying twins, beginning with her work on the Minnesota Study of Twins Teared Apart in the 1980s and '90s. Today, she continues to study identical and fraternal twins, twins reared apart, and other unusual pairings, as she calls them—even unrelated people who look like twins. She's written six books about twins and twin research and is working on a seventh. She is also, as it happens a twin herself. Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, Dr. Segal.

Nancy Segal, PhD: Thank you so much for having me.

Mills: Let's start with a broad question. Twin studies have a long history in psychology. Why is that? And what have we learned over the years?

Segal: Well, twin studies are fascinating and it's a very simple and very elegant design. One simply compares the resemblance of identical twins who share all their genes to the resemblance of fraternal twins who share half their genes on average. For most measured traits, we find that identical twins are more alike than fraternal twins, which is consistent with the genetic influence on that behavior. And there are many variations on what I just described, which is the classic twin method. But as you said in your introduction, we can study twins reared apart, we can study twins living apart for long periods of time. And I have also been studying some very unusual pairings, which I hope we have time to get into.

Mills: I'm sure we will. So you've been studying twins since the 1980s. How have the questions that you and other researchers ask changed over time as our understanding of genetics has become more sophisticated? For example, a recent article in The Atlantic talked about how twin studies are advancing our understanding of epigenetics, or how genes are expressed. So I'm wondering if you can explain what that means?

Segal: Yes, sure. But let me just back up for a second. You wanted to talk about how questions and interests and focus has changed in twin studies over the years. So when I began in the 1980s, this was just when behavioral genetics was being admitted into the mainstream of psychology, and so investigators were interested in establishing a genetic basis for human behavior, and twin studies and adoption studies were a very effective way to go. Then things began to change and people began looking to see if they could find the actual genes that were linked to behaviors, and that's partly where epigenetics comes in.

Now, epigenetics refers to the turning on and turning off of genes. What environmental triggers either before birth, or sometime after birth, will activate a gene or perhaps silence it? And this is where identical twins who differ in fundamental ways maybe have greatest use to us in the medical sciences, because we know that the similarity rate of identical twins with diabetes and multiple sclerosis is only 50%, schizophrenia may be 40%. So if they come into the world with the same genes, why is it that one twin expresses it and the other one does not? This is information that we can all use to assist individuals who are affected in the non-twin population.

Mills: And epigenetics came into play when Scott Kelly went into space, for example, right? He's an identical twin and his brother was on earth. And when Scott Kelly came back, he had gone through some genetic changes. Can you explain that?

Segal: Yes, he did. The flight travel that Scott Kelly took, had him up at the International Space Station for almost a year, while his twin brother Mark remained on earth. And prior to the trip, they both had completed a very comprehensive set of tests, intellectual, physical, genetic, things of that sort. And they found that contrary to expectation, it seemed that Scott Kelly's chromosomes actually reflected greater longevity. One would expect that they should have not shown that, but most of his epigenetic changes have reverted back to what they were normally. But that is a fascinating study, because we will never again get two identical twins who are both astronauts and one willing to take the trip.

Mills: That's amazing. And is that common with epigenetics that things revert?

Segal: It's trait-specific. It's trait-specific. One wouldn't really know that. Yeah.

Mills: Well, identical twins are not exact copies of each other in the sense that you've studied some identical twins who show a fair amount of physical variations, such as differences in height or hair color. What are the causes of these variations?

Segal: Well, the causes of variation are many. If you talk about height and weight, it probably has to do with prenatal nutrition that might have been unequally distributed between the two twins. If identical twins share their blood systems, what we call fetal transfusion in the womb, that can also create differences in height, in size and vigor, things like that sort, and if really to a severe degree, it might even lead to the demise of one of the twins. And then I mentioned the epigenetics before, if twins somehow get exposed to different environmental events, whether global or micro-environmental events, this can also trigger something in one twin and not in the other. Genetically speaking too, identical twins may not be exactly alike. Sometimes there are errors in copying when cells replicate, and so there could be spontaneous mutations in one twin that the other twin does not have. So, identical twins are less alike than people think they are. They're more alike than any other pair of people, but they are less alike than people think they are. And that's what makes them so fascinating.

Mills: Now, I've seen in some interviews, you've corrected people who have used the term nature versus nurture . Why do you think that term is inaccurate?

Segal: It's inaccurate because it does not appreciate the interplay between nature and nurture. So we prefer to say nature-nurture, or nature via nurture or something of that sort. We try to disentangle these effects in populations. So when we say that intelligence has a 75% genetic effect, or height is 95%, we're not talking about a single individual, we're talking about the variation in a population. In a single person, you cannot separate out the two, because genes and environments are inextricably intertwined.

Mills: You're a fraternal twin yourself. How has that experience as a twin influenced your research?

Segal: Well, being a fraternal twin, I was always fascinated with being a twin although I never got the adulation that identical twins get when people meet them. But I knew from a very early age that there had to be something fundamentally different about us, because we share so many experiences in common, and yet we were so different in appearance, in our interests and tastes and things of that sort. So I would say that it certainly propelled me into the field. How it's influenced me? Not really, because I let the data drive that. And I've been surprised sometimes by certain things and certain things I've expected have come true, but you have to keep an open mind. But I will say that being a twin has been a great advantage because in soliciting subjects for my projects, the minute they discover that I'm a twin, it creates this bond that you just understand what's going on, that we share something fundamentally important. And that's been a real advantage.

Mills: There are a lot of myths and legends out there about twins, that they've got some kind of a telepathic connection, that they can share secret language. And I know one of your books is called Twin Mythconceptions: False Beliefs, Fables, and Facts about Twins . What are some of the common myths that you address and do any of these have grains of truth?

Segal: Well, the ones that I address mostly are...There's so many, there must be about 70 that I deal with in the book. But some people think that fraternal twinning skips generations. Now, is there a kernel of truth? It could do that in some families, but there's no actual rule for that.

We know the fraternal twinning runs in families, but the actual mode of transmission has not been identified. Some people feel that identical twins should always be separated in school when they enter, and I'm really against that. I think you have to take every pair on a case-by-case basis. We don't have firm policies regarding singleton children, and I think that this treats twins unfairly.

Other myths—that identical twinning does not run in families. Now, we thought that for a very long time, and yet some recent research from Sweden and from Singapore, looking at inbred populations, has found that there are these pockets of people around the world in India, in Iran, where there are multi-generations of just identical twins. And so, we think that within some families, there's this tendency toward, zygotic splitting or splitting of the single fertilized egg.

In my study—Well, it wasn't for a study, but it was for my book Indivisible by Two . It's an interesting book. It's kind of like Oliver Sacks' The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat book, but for twins, where I bring in the human interest and the science. And one of the couples that I studied were actually—I said, "If identical male twins married to a set of identical female twins, they live very close by, and one of the couples had identical twins, and so that's twins having twins. And in my book, Twin Mythconceptions , I have a photograph of identical twin women, each of whom had a pair of identical twins. So it seems that there is some factor in some families that gives you this genetic tendency toward that kind of twinning.

Mills: And that creates some kind of a weird relationship, right? Because the twins are—They're genetically the same, so is your uncle also your—

Segal: Well, yes—

Mills:  —Maybe you can explain this because I'm not doing a good job.

Segal: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What happens is that if you have identical twins who marry identical twins, the offspring are legal first cousins, but they're also genetic full siblings, because every parent is genetically interchangeable. That's somewhat rare, but a much more common scenario is identical twins who just marry unrelated people, and their children would be genetic half siblings in addition to being cousins. But I will tell you one story that I have also in one of my books, I think it was in Entwined Lives , my first one. I have a set of identical twins who married identical twins and had children on the same day, which makes them genetically equivalent to fraternal twins. But see, they were enormously informative from the point of view of research, because you've got people who are—You can look at the relation between, say a twin aunt and a twin mother, twins' children. And they share the same genes, but one is raised with one and one's not raised with the other. So you can look at all sorts of stuff.

Mills: Wow. That's wild. I can't imagine doing that genealogy.

Segal: Yeah.

Mills: So you address the question about twins, whether they should be in the same classrooms during their education, right? That's something that you've looked at. I'm wondering, when I grew up there were twins in my school and parents always dress their kids the same. Is there anything potentially damaging to children who don't get their own identity, because they're always dressed like their twin?

Segal: Yeah. Well, I think that it can be a problem, and so I always encourage parents to dress the kids somewhat differently, maybe in the same outfits with contrasting colors, to have a name badge, cut the hair a bit differently so that people will call them by their name and not by “twin,” or “hey, you.” I think though that twins should be allowed to enjoy their similarities at times, if they want to dress up alike on occasion, nothing wrong with that, but you don't want them to rely on that to get attention from other people.

Mills: The twin birth rate has more than doubled from 1980 to 2007, although it declined a little bit since then. What's caused the shifts in the rate of twinning, and have you seen any corresponding interest in your work as a result of that over the years?

Segal: Mm-hmm. Well, yeah. So in the 1980s, the twinning rate was about one in 60 babies, and later on, 20 years later, 30 years later, it was one in 33. And the reason that's going up so much is because women are delaying the childbearing years, which creates a greater tendency for fraternal twinning. After all, for older mothers, mistakes happen and we are optimally designed to release one egg at a time. So two eggs at a time is kind of this mistake, although kind of a pleasant mistake, but it's still something it's not supposed to happen. So that's one reason. Another is that we're better able to manage twin pregnancies now so we can detect them and manage them better. And then with the in vitro fertilization, if women delay childbearing for too many years, and they're unable to conceive, then they sometimes go the route of in vitro fertilization where eggs and sperm are united outside the womb and then later implanted. And that also has increased not just the fraternal twinning rate, but also the identical twinning rate, although not as dramatically.

Now, the great rise in twinning of course, has focused attention on twins so much. We see them in literature, we see them in the news, TV commercials all the time. People are fascinated with it. And I think that leads to another interesting idea, why? Why are people fascinated? So I began asking people and they'd say, "Well, they just are, they're fascinating." But I could not get an answer. So I've thought a lot about it, and I think it's because we all are raised to appreciate individual differences in appearance and behavior. So when we encounter two people who look and act so much alike, it challenges our beliefs on how the world works. And everyone finds it intriguing, some people find it a little upsetting to see that much closeness, but I think that's the clue.

And with twins raised apart, we have such a strong reference for family. The idea of these two very close people being raised apart just does not sit well. And we hear about the reunions, they're just so heartwarming. I have a whole series of tapes of twins meeting for the first time, and I've seen it so many times and every time I tear up, it's just that moment of meeting, that out of control glee is just amazing.

Mills: That's got to be a lot of fun, you go through life thinking that it's just you, and then you discover—

Segal: It's you and me.

Mills: There's another one like me. Yeah. That's great. So let's talk a little bit about the research projects you have going on now. You're continuing to study twins reared apart, right?

Segal: I am. I have a study ongoing that looks at young Chinese twins who've been separated at birth, indirectly through the one child policy. And I get them—It's the only prospective study in the world. Most reared apart twin studies have found twins as adults and had to reconstruct their childhood events, but I'm getting the twins over time. Every pair has now had about two assessments, although I'm still completing the second one for some of the pairs. And so the twins lived with different families in the U.S., sometimes in Canada or other places around the world. And so I'm able to get the twins tested in their local areas and parents fill out questionnaires, and now the kids are growing up, so I can do a little more with them.

And I've studied 23 pairs of them so far, 15 identicals and eight fraternals. And I just hope I can continue because grant money is scarce, but I would just love to find some more. I really would. Now, I also do case studies on adult twins who find each other, and I've got one right now. These twins from South Korea just met each other, just in the last week or so. And I'm so excited, and so I have a colleague in South Korea who will test the South Korean twin, and I'm going to test the twin who lives here.

Mills: And they didn't know about the other?

Segal: No, they didn't know about the other until—Let's see. Well, the one in South Korea knew, because what happened there was that she was out—well, the mother had twins, she obviously knew that. The twins were maybe two or three, and the grandmother took one twin out on a walk or something and lost her in a market, never found her again. And the twin ended up back in an orphanage, she was adopted. But she never knew she was a twin until she did—there's a program now for Korean adoptees, they can submit their DNA and see if it matches. And that's how she found her family.

Mills: I'm also fascinated by a study you did a few years ago on doppelgängers.

Segal: Oh, yeah.

Mills: People who are completely unrelated, but they look uncannily alike. Why were you interested in studying this phenomenon and what did you learn?

Segal: Yeah, that's a great question. So, there was a criticism of twin research held by some that identical twins are alike in personality, because people treat them a certain way based on their looks. And that never made sense to me. It just never made sense to me. I think what happens is that people respond similarly to identical twins, but because they evoke certain reactions from these people. So the way to test that I realized was to use unrelated people who shared no genes, but shared their looks. And so I reasoned that if they were as alike as identical twins raised apart, well, then maybe I was wrong. But if they were very different, then it would mean that their genetics were so different that they were not going to be similar in personality.

And so I worked with somebody in Canada, a photographer, Francois Brunelle who takes photographs of these people. He's a photographer. I think he was a doppelgänger himself. And so I got some of my people from him, and then a British television show gave me eight pairs and I find them occasionally. Here and there I find them, and they're just amazing. And so I published two or three papers on these cases, and I find that these doppelgängers who were raised apart, but look exactly alike are so different in personality. And when they meet, they don't feel a certain kinship that the identical twins feel almost instantly. These people are sort of curious, and maybe it lasts for a minute, but it doesn't last.

Mills: And do they actually see the resemblance, they always get it?

Segal: Sometimes and sometimes not. There is another interesting thing that sometimes if you talk to identical twins, they don't think they look alike. It's a very, very funny thing.

Mills: So how do you find participants in your studies? Is the internet making it easier?

Segal: Oh, absolutely it is. And I really have never solicited people. People come to me. I feel like Sir Francis Galton, back in the 1870s when people would say, "I want to be in your studies." I'm just getting people all the time. It's just amazing. I'm lucky that I have an international network. People send me emails and contacts all the time. I found one of my most interesting pairs who're actually the situation in Colombia, South America involving two sets of identical male twins who've been accidentally switched at birth. So there was an exchange of one twin from each pair. And they grew up in very different environments. And when I learned about this through a colleague, I went right down to Bogota to study them. And a book came out of that called Accidental Brothers , published in 2018.

But let me get back in a minute to the studies of twins raised apart. I think it's also important to recognize that twin studies have had a wonderful history, but there've been a couple of blemishes along the way. And the book you mentioned earlier that I'm writing right now, my seventh, it's actually all written, in the hands of the editor, so I'm a free person. But that one is going to be called Deliberately Divided: Inside the Controversial Study of Twins and Triplets Adopted Apart . It'll be out in the spring of 2021. And I think that most of the viewers have probably seen, or at least heard about the documentary film, Three Identical Strangers that talked about identical triplets who were separated and in a secret study.

So I went back and I researched that study, the history, the origins, the implications, all the people and the legal and ethical implications. And so it's a pretty big book, but it had to be written. It had to preserve all of that, and it was a tribute to the twins who were separated at birth, who were separated because a psychiatrist felt it was better for them. There was no literature to support that one whatsoever.

Mills: And yeah. Tell us a little bit more about this psychiatrist, his name was Peter Neubauer, right?

Segal: No, no. Well, there were two psychiatrists.

Mills: Oh, oh.

Segal: Yeah. Dr. Viola Bernard, she was the psychiatrist that had been hired by the Louise Wise Agency, and just to give advice on adoptions and things, and she felt that identical twins, or even any twins should be raised apart so they develop their own identities and parents would not be overburdened. But there was no literature to support that, absolutely none, but that went on nevertheless. And then this other psychiatrist, Peter Neubauer, discovered this and he decided to study the twins. It was a collaboration, and it's really hard to know which came first, the study, the theory, it's difficult to know exactly. And I talk all about that in the book. And so the twins were studied from the time of birth until 12 years. And of course the data are locked up at Yale and not to be—sealed until 2065. Yeah. That's another issue I deal with. And some of Dr. Bernard's materials at Columbia have been sealed too, but there's enough available there that I was able to really get a lot of material.

Mills: I'm looking forward to seeing that. So what are the remaining unanswered questions in the field? What do we still not know? I'm sure there are many, many, but maybe you can—

Segal: There's many.

Mills:  —give us a view.

Segal: Well, one very vexing question that's still never been answered satisfactorily is why does a fertilized egg divide? What causes it to divide? There were theories about it, but we really do not know. We really do not know. And it used to be thought that the timing of the split from conception until day 14 had to do with the number of placenta and the number of fetal membranes, but even that is in dispute. So it's really, really quite fascinating.

Mills: And anything else that's on the horizon that you want to tell our listeners about? Any other work that's percolating?

Segal: I think we're still going to continue with looking at how epigenetics is going to shape our understanding of human behavior and disease. That's certainly going to take off. But I think that it's always so important to stay very close to twins, just to get a sense of what they're like, because just being with them gives you so many great hypotheses about how things could happen. In Minnesota, for example, we used to see that identical twins had a lot of quirks in common.

We had a pair who used to read books from back to front, and he used to wash his hands before and after using the bathroom and all these kinds of things. And so when you see it in one person, you figure, well, it's just a habit, but with two people who do it, who are reared apart, you figured there has to be something more. And so I think one of the projects I may attempt in the spring, when I teach my graduate seminar on twin studies, is I'm going to have my students go back to the older literature, and document all of these unusual behaviors in the identical twins and some other ones, and we'll just see what are they, can they be studied systematically? How do we explain them?

Mills: Well, Dr. Segal, this has been really fascinating. I think the research that you do is quite amazing. And I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me today.

Segal: It's my pleasure.

Mills: You can find previous episodes of Speaking of Psychology on our website at www.speakingofpsychology.org or wherever you get your podcasts. If you have comments or ideas for future podcasts, email us at [email protected] . That's speakingofpsychology, all one word, @apa.org. Speaking of Psychology is produced by Lea Winerman. Our sound editor is Chris Condayan. 

Thank you for listening. For the American Psychological Association, I'm Kim Mills.

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Episode 130: What studying twins can teach us about ourselves, with Nancy Segal, PhD

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Learn more about Segal’s research on her website .

Speaking of Psychology

Speaking of Psychology is an audio podcast series highlighting some of the latest, most important, and relevant psychological research being conducted today.

Produced by the American Psychological Association, these podcasts will help listeners apply the science of psychology to their everyday lives.

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Your host: Kim I. Mills

Kim I. Mills is senior director of strategic external communications and public affairs for the American Psychological Association, where she has worked since 2007. Mills led APA’s foray into social media and envisioned and launched APA’s award-winning podcast series Speaking of Psychology  in 2013. A former reporter and editor for The Associated Press, Mills has also written for publications including The Washington Post , Fast Company , American Journalism Review , Dallas Morning News , MSNBC.com and Harvard Business Review .

In her 30+-year career in communications, Mills has extensive media experience, including being interviewed by The New York Times , The Washington Post , The Wall Street Journal , and other top-tier print media. She has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America , Hannity and Colmes , CSPAN, and the BBC, to name a few of her broadcast engagements. Mills holds a bachelor’s degree in biology from Barnard College and a master’s in journalism from New York University.

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Being a Twin

"What’s it like being a twin?" This is a question I’ve been asked countless times; I don’t blame people for their curiosity. It is an incomparable experience. Few people have the opportunity to experience such a close bond with another individual. From the day of conception, we’ve literally been side by side or metaphorically, attached at the hip. Such a close relationship resulted in our mutual dependence. Growing up, we were always, “the twins”, sometimes even referred to as “Carlana.” We were thought of, and began to think of ourselves, as a whole. Throughout the first sixteen years of our lives, we literally spent just about every moment together. At home, we shared a room and even in school my mother always made sure we were in all of the same classes. Then, when summer came along, we went away for eight weeks to a sleep away camp where we also spent every moment together. As twins, we shared basically everything. From our clothes, to our friends, and even dinner out; everything that was mine was hers and vice versa. This (lack of division OR level of concurrence...WHICH IS BETTER??) between the two of us hindered our personal and individual development. This past summer, I got a job at a local ice cream stand. Instead of spending my summer at camp, I was home working while Carly went off to camp without me. It seemed like a good idea to get a break from each other, but it was a scary concept. In all my years I had always been with her; she was someone to back me up or keep me company when I needed it. In the months leading up to our separation I thought I had accepted it. Then the morning came when she was leaving. Usually she, our best friend and I boarded the bus together saying goodbye to our parents. This year Carly and our best friend got on the bus together saying goodbye to me. This was the moment when it really hit me; I was going to be apart from the most prominent person in my life. I was losing my other half. Although at first intimidating, I embraced my circumstances. I was able to do things I wouldn’t have done with her like form some new relationships. I formed closer connections with all of my friends on an individual level. The experience gave me the opportunity to develop as a being, replete with my own idiosyncrasy, rather than half of a whole. While maintaining our connection, we each discovered a new found independence and with that, a confidence. This confidence will allow me to thrive in any environment, with or without my sister- including an exciting adventure such as attending college.

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Advanced Essay #3: The Value of "Self"

“You guys are twins right, how come you don’t dress alike”, a phrase I’ve heard all too often growing up. I remember me and my sister side-eyeing each other every time, a routine that became so second hand I could do it with my eyes closed. We would reply politely, teeth-gritted, hands clenched, and somehow explain the need for us to wear our own clothes, annoyed that this even had to be explained. It seems as though nobody got the memo when it came to twins. Whether you came one fertilized egg or two, twins affect each other which shapes how they are individually. A study on twins also mentions similar findings, “In such a twin-defined bubble, you learn at a very young age to accommodate and compromise. Your perspective is that of a twin couple, so that you habitually think of yourself in relationship to your twin. You may find that you are in constant collusion—enabling, accommodating, and depending on each other—rather than feeling free to act on your own or make your own decisions.” (Friedman pg.23)The impact  on each other really builds up each others personalities and the way in which they interact with one another. No matter if the twins are identical or fraternal, same or opposite gender, having a twin no matter how small, for your entire life. Society will always see twins as one unit, ignoring their individuality.

In mainly all pairs of twins, there is almost always a more dominant twin. This dominant twin will tend to always make final decisions, will be heard more over the other. The less dominant twin might even look to the other for guidance and approval. For example, imagine an identical set of twins, named Katie and Kenna. Katie is more dominant than Kenna. Katie is more loud and aggressive than her, causing Kenna who is generally more soft spoken and shy to always obey her sister. This causes major tension and a feeling of insufficiency for Kenna throughout her life. She would generally be more dependent on Katie and show more sympathy towards her, or always giving in because she’s done it her whole life with her sister. Having that one person who is the same age as you, being raised in with you, doesn’t allow the less dominant twin to be comfortable or feel as if they have a voice. Our societal views don’t help either.

Society promotes twins to compare themselves to each other, and even compete; whether that be for the approval of their parents, in school or just daily life activities. It’s as if it is a norm, for when greeting twins to point out the ways in which they don’t act or look alike, whether they be identical or fraternal. I believe this is stemming from the ideology that since they were birthed together and look the same (in cases of identical twins) that they must act, talk and dress alike, as if twins are each others clones and can’t be independent individuals. For example, as a child my mother would always dress my twin sister and I exactly alike, she would always buy us the same clothes and in this way I always felt attached to my sister, but in the same way tied down to her, and that yearn for independence only grew stronger and firmer as I got older. I wanted to develop my own sense of style and free myself from only being known as someone else's other, so I started with my clothes. I was tired of always being looked at as someone’s twin, I wanted to be known for being just me. I didn’t want their to be any similarities in which someone would notice we were twins, because that would automatically diminish my value from one whole to a half.

However, this didn’t stop people from asking the most obnoxious questions that fraternal twins get: “Why don’t you guys look alike?” As if we would hold the answer in the back pocket of our matching Children’s Place jeans. There were many common misconceptions when it came to twins, and fraternal twins weren’t really as known as being identical. My sister and I have very vast distinctions with facial and bone structure and skin complexion. As I got older I thought this would help me be seen as more of my own person, in did in some ways, it didn’t most of the time. I became dependent on my sister and vice versa, we did everything together, we were with each other all hours of the day, we made all decisions together. Making the transition into high school a bit more challenging.

For our freshmen we were forced to part ways and attend separate high schools. My sister and I would always rely on each other, walk home from the bus together and sit with each other at lunch. Our school wise relationship was severed, and it took some time for adjusting, but we are finally seen as individual units. Although some people know we are twins, aren’t put together in the same location, no one group's us together as one. We can be wholes, while still being twins.

This idea would seem unbelievable to some people who are still stuck in that mentality, that individuality can’t exist in the case of twins. Nonetheless, having a twin sister has really shaped me and affected in both negative and positive ways, which I am sure it did for every other set of twins, who have lived with each other their entire lives. In most cases twins depend on each other more than anyone else in their lives, this unspoken agreement that they will care and protect each other against whomever; parents, friends, other siblings. Sometimes you can’t be to see yourself as a half in your own life. Your identity is combined with theirs. We as a human race need to recognize individuality within each human, no matter if you think they’re two halves of a whole.

Works Cited

Friedman, Joan A. The Same but Different: How Twins Can Live, Love, and Learn to Be Individuals . Los Angeles, CA: Rocky Pines, 2014. Print.

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Twins in College Admissions: Advice for Twins, Triplets

Gelyna Price

Head of programs and lead admissions expert, table of contents, advice for twins and triplets.

Stay up-to-date on the latest research and college admissions trends with our blog team.

Looking for advice for twins or triplets in the college admissions process? I interviewed our superstar counselor Alix C. to learn what he had to say about twins and college applications. In this article, we mostly talk about twins (that is, two siblings born together), but much of the advice is useful for triplets or other close sibling relationships as well. From building college lists to handling essays, Alix brings stellar first-hand advice from his experiences helping twins apply, and reading twin student applications to college.

Growing up with siblings is a rich life experience. Facing challenges together, you have the opportunity to share many important milestones. Learning from one another (and a dose of healthy competition and mutual support) can absolutely push each of you to become the best version of you as can be! 

If you are a twin or triplet, you well know that closeness is amplified. Whether you know it or not, there are a few important things to know for twins applying to college. So, let’s dig in.

Approaching College with a Twin Mindset

These are the main three tips to keep in mind when you start thinking about twins in a college admissions process. 

• If you stick together, you do increase your chances of dual acceptance ( even if one is more competitive than the other ). That said, it doesn’t overcome complete ineligibility… so still try your best.
• On the other hand, if you really need separation, that is okay too! If this is the case, just talk to each other in the process and communicate about your top schools. If you want to be extra sure, you can ask that your sibling doesn’t apply to the same ones. 
• Yes, twins applying together can be more appealing to admissions officers. It’s just the reality! In high school and in college, a pair or team of brains brings a unique perspective to your work. That edge works to your advantage. But obviously, don’t do this if you want to seek distance from one another. 
• It can be personally advantageous to seek individuality and separation if that is what you want to explore. Ultimately, this choice depends on the family and the students themselves.

Filling Out the Application

If you do end up submitting together, it will be apparent that you are related. You don’t need to do anything extra to indicate that you have a close sibling. In addition, counselors and teachers will definitely mention it in letters of recommendation. (Even if you apply to different schools, it will likely be mentioned, without the specifics.) Because of all these things, admissions officers will know.

And we’ll say it again: twins are two different people! Your scores and lists, aspirations, and achievements will be unique. If you participate in many activities together, you may look similar on paper. Still, don’t worry too much about your application sounding like a copy. Even if you have very similar experiences and activities and mindsets, you won’t sound the same. Represent yourself authentically. That’s the ultimate goal, and the thing to focus on. 

You may be wondering if it’s something worth writing about in your personal essays. Alix says yes – being a twin can make a great essay topic! 

• First of all, there’s this guiding principle in the college admissions landscape: emphasize your rarity. So, go ahead and write about your twin experience to set yourself apart. 
• Second, there are a wealth of different areas to choose from! You can write about your experiences, struggles, support, and how you complement each other. More likely than not, having a close sibling or sibling(s) will largely impact most areas of your life. 

Being a twin is biologically rare, so it’s a strong essay topic if you handle it well. As you do, it’s a good idea to look for support and second opinions to make sure it’s well-written, no matter what. 

College List

Here’s Alix’s advice: create two lists. That way, you can build one list of schools that you’d like to apply to together, and one list that you’d like to apply to on your own. (Building these two lists is a great place to ask for guidance for a counselor’s perspective and expertise.) Decision-making can come later once you have your offers and options. In other words, keep all your windows open: both my/yours windows, and our windows. 

Counseling Resources

You may want to work with the same guidance counselor because they know both of your track records. It can make communication easier, and potentially easier for your parents to follow along. However, you don’t need to work with the same college counselor. If you have very different interests and personalities, one person isn’t necessarily going to be equipped to help you both equally well. 

Sibling legacy does matter, so it’s worth discussing your journey and process as you work through the applications. For all applicants, communication is important.

Advice for Parents

• Step back. It’s okay. Let each kid do what they want to do; you don’t need to intervene in any major way. (Yes, we give this advice to all parents, but it’s always good to be reminded!) 
• Don’t try to hold yourself or your kids back because you don’t want to take advantage of this unique asset . College applications ask you to use all your advantages, so go ahead and do it if it makes sense for them! Think of it as a tool you can utilize to continue moving forward into healthy, open futures.
• On the other hand, don’t force your kids to follow the same path if that’s not what they want. If they want to go to different schools and branch out, naturally, you should let them. 

That covers the main advice we want twins and triplets to know as you approach the college admissions process. Be yourself, make the most of the opportunities and advantages that are available to you, and go follow your dreams! Alix is a wonderful counselor (and great human being) that knows what it’s like to be in your shoes. Alix and the entire Empowerly community are all here to support your best possible future. 

If you’d like to work with one of our expert college admissions counselors for more one-on-one advising as you embark on your application journey, reach out today. We have experience helping twins in college admissions reach their best futures! Learn more about the Empowerly approach and book a free consultation below. We’ll learn a little more about your situation, review the scope of our unique program, and recommend how to get started. 

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Being a fraternal twin, yep, the truth is out..

Yep you heard me—we're going to discuss what it's like being a fraternal twin! Although being a member of the slightly under-recognized multiples category (identicals, I'm talking to you) has its challenges, the perks are just as awesome. Let's get started!

As the name implies, fraternal twins can look alike as most siblings do, but we're not total copies of each other. Our parents may have dressed us up alike when we were babies; however, that usually doesn't last long since it's a moot point after a couple of years. So when fraternal twins are asked the ever popular question of "do you guys look alike?" don't take it personally when we answer with a less than elated "Eh, not really."

In my experience, fraternal twins also get the "Who's older?" and "Who came out first?" type inquiries pretty often. They're definitely novelty questions that we don't mind giving an honest answer to, but it's definitely a bit annoying when those factors are assumed to have so much weight when applied to personality or behavioral traits. Growing up, it was always evident that my sister and I had completely different personalities even though we were fraternal twins; naturally branching out to pursue different interests has been a hallmark of our childhood, no matter how stigmatized being a twin could be.

"Do you two fight a lot?" Well sure, just like any pair of siblings I suppose. Any set of multiples argue and bicker just as much as other siblings who don't happen to share the same birthday, and it doesn't exactly give us a license to fight more than the expected amount. Personally, having a fraternal twin is just like having a built-in best friend. Even though we can't share clothes that are different sizes and couldn't pull off a Parent Trap-esque switch in high school, having the ability to share experiences without getting grouped together as one entity is as independent as it gets for a twin (and we love it). That unique bond that twins share is what keeps us close (not telepathy-close by the way, that would be weird) and it just gets stronger going into adulthood. It's also why my fraternal twin sister and I chose to go to different colleges; establishing an identity outside of being "that kid with the twin brother/sister" was important to us because we gain a greater clarity of our goals and and what we want to be known for. And hey, although living apart often pulls on the heartstrings, it makes for one heck of a Skype call and our reunions that much sweeter.

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25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The End- Abbey Road, 1969

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

Because- Abbey Road, 1969

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All You Need Is Love, 1967

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

Revolution- The Beatles, 1968

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Hey Jude, 1968

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday- Help!, 1965

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.

Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964

All you need is love, love is all you need

All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird- The White Album, 1968

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965

While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.

14 Invisible Activities: Unleash Your Inner Ghost!

Obviously the best superpower..

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

1. "Haunt" your friends.

Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.

2. Sneak into movie theaters.

Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health , says science

Considering that the monthly cost of subscribing to a media-streaming service like Netflix is oft...

Free movies...what else to I have to say?

3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.

Late night snacks all you want? Duh.

4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.

America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.

5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.

Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.

6. Hold objects so they'll "float."

"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."

7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.

Just stand out in the open and you'll win.

8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.

Even everyday activities can be funny.

9. Go around pantsing your friends.

Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.

10. Not have perfect attendance.

You'll say here, but they won't see you...

11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.

Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.

12. Avoid responsibilities.

Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.

13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.

Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.

14. Brag about being invisible.

Be the envy of the town.

But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.

Good luck, folks.

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned..

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

1. The importance of traditions.

Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.

3. How to give back.

When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.

4. What the word "community" really means.

Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.

10. How to work for what I want.

Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.

12. How to be humble .

My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.

13. To be well-rounded.

Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.

16. To be prepared for anything.

You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.

18. How to be creative.

When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.

19. To brush off gossip.

It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

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The #1 Resource & Support Network for Parents of Twins

The twin parent’s guide to college admissions.

Last updated on August 18th, 2023 at 01:49 pm

Do you remember how overwhelmed you felt preparing for the birth of your multiple birth children? You had many questions. What equipment will they need? Do I need two of everything? Breast or bottle? Cloth or disposable? Then they started school and there were more questions. Public, private, or home school? Keep them together or separate them? As your multiples approach college-age, those questions don’t cease; they just become a new set of questions.

I became a single mother at the start of my twin daughters’ senior year of high school and fully shouldered the daunting task of their college application and preparation process. It was truly a “baptism by fire.” I’m proud to report that they have successfully completed their sophomore year in college, and I will be starting the process all over again with my son, who will be a high school senior in the fall.

The task may be daunting but it doesn’t have to totally overwhelm you. Thankfully, there’s lots of information on the Internet. I could probably write a book on the subject, but my intent is to provide you with some of the basic information that I sought out as I was going through the process.

Community College, State College, or Private University?

The answer to this question will depend on many factors including your child’s high school academic successes, standardized test scores, choice of college major, future interests, your family’s household budget and the ability to contribute towards college costs, whether your children will live on or off campus, etc. Start flushing out these factors early in the high school years so you and your children will be fully prepared for the application process come junior and senior year.

Together or Separate?          

And you thought you graduated past this question when your multiples left their elementary years! Not necessarily. When my twins started the college search process they both stated they didn’t want to go to the same school. Their argument… “We’ve been together for 18 years – we want to be apart!” This surprised me because when given the choice during elementary and middle school, they always wanted to be together. With this in mind, we visited several colleges (in and out of state). Ultimately, our state university turned out to be most affordable and they were both able to qualify for scholarships and grants. They have never regretted the decision and with two very different majors, they hardly see each other on campus.

Standardized Tests

• PSAT/NMSQT: Administered fall of the sophomore year of high school at some schools and fall of the junior year at all schools, the Preliminary SAT/National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test provides firsthand practice for the SAT. It also gives students a chance to enter NMSC scholarship programs and gain access to college and career planning tools.
• SAT:   Most students take this in the spring of their junior year, and many students take it again in the fall of their senior year.
• SAT II (AKA SAT Subject Tests): These can be taken every time the SAT is offered except for the March/April test. The SAT and the SAT Subject Tests cannot be taken in the same day.
• ACT: Usually taken during the spring of the junior year so students will have their test scores and other information in time to help them plan their senior year. The ACT follows the same schedule as the SAT except that students can pick and choose which scores they want to send to colleges.

Registering and paying for these standardized tests is easy and can be done online. Additionally, students have the opportunity to retest if they feel their initial scores didn’t accurately reflect their abilities in the areas they tested. Students can practice for the tests buy purchasing The Official SAT Study Guide and The Real ACT Prep Guide .

College Visits

Once you’ve narrowed down your list of potential colleges to two or three, start scheduling visits. For my girls and me, spring break of their junior year was a great time for this. While we were not able to observe campus life with students actually “in” classes (because the colleges were also on spring break during that time), we were able to get a very clear picture of college life, academic programs, tour the dorms, etc. We actually visited four campuses and my girls quickly narrowed down their college choices to two. Check each college’s website for information about tours. They schedule group tours at various times during the year. Also get on their mailing list so you can be kept apprised of application deadlines, scholarship opportunities and deadlines, campus happenings, etc.

Applications

Be prepared. This can get expensive if you are applying to more than one school. Check the school’s website for fees associated with applying, deadlines, required documents, test scores, etc. Fortunately, many colleges and universities have gone completely digital in their application process making it a little less daunting. Colleges and universities use fairly standard definitions to describe each form of an application, which makes it easier for students to understand the differences between each university’s programs.

Many colleges and universities participate in The Common Application , a not-for-profit membership organization that serves students, member institutions, and secondary schools by providing applications that students and school officials may submit to any of their over 500 members. When using the Common Application, you can create one application (per child) and submit it to multiple colleges (provided the college or university is a participating member), and even pay the application fees right online.

If your child is interested in attending a military academy, that process needs to be started early in the junior year of high school. Be prepared, it is a tedious process. Both my girls applied to and were accepted at the Air Force Academy. One received a congressional recommendation—the other did not. While they both decided to attend their state university, I was glad they went through the Air Force Academy application process. It was a learning experience and the interview conducted by community leaders gave them a taste of the “real world” of being an adult.

Application Essays

Your college applicant will be required to submit an admission essay with their application. This is how the college or scholarship provider gets to know them. They should make this essay personal and free from grammatical errors. Check out the 10 Tips for Writing the College Application Essay on U.S. News.com. Also check out the personal essay tips on Collegeapps.about.com .

College Financing

Once you have narrowed down your school(s) of choice, it’s time to start looking into college financing. There are so many options including scholarships, grants, student loans, parent loans, work study, etc. The best place to start this educational process is at the respective colleges’ websites. They provide links for scholarship and grant opportunities, state-sponsored opportunities, and the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), where you can apply for federal grants, loans, and work-study funds.

The FAFSA is now also an online application and you will be required to complete a FAFSA for each child; but they offer a great feature that allows you to copy all the information you submit over to additional children in the family.

College Scholarships for Multiples

Multiples.about.com provides information about opportunities for college tuition assistance in the form of scholarships specifically for multiple birth children.

Together or Separate?

AGAIN with the together or separate question? Yes, sorry.

If your multiples end up at the same college or university, you will need to discuss their housing options. My girls’ university required that freshman live in the dorms. My twins decided to have roommates randomly assigned to them so they could meet new people and fully experience college life. Check out the colleges’ websites regarding housing requirements, costs, the application process, roommate selections, etc. Many colleges will allow students to apply to be Resident Assistants (RAs) in their sophomore year. This is a great opportunity for your child to cut housing costs while also taking on some leadership responsibilities.

My girls had a very successful and fun dorm experience their freshman year, including making lots of new friends, getting involved in group functions, etc. They decided to get an apartment together their sophomore year and are rooming together (again) along with one of their best friends from high school. They will not be rooming together junior year.

Living in the Dorms

What will they need? What can they live without? Start a list and start it now! My girls brought way too much stuff to the dorm their freshman year and I ended up bringing a lot of it back home.

Here are some links to just a few of the many college packing lists you can find online. Check them out and then create a personalized packing list for your children.

• Campusexplorer.com
• Dormsmart.com
• Collegepackinglist.com

Be prepared for the expense. It cost me $300 per child to get my girls set up with linens, toiletries, cosmetics, non-perishable food and drinks, eating utensils, electronics, cleaning supplies, etc. for their dorm rooms.

Additional Expenses

You’ll want to consider the following additional expenses when making college choices:

• Meal plans (most colleges offer several different plans with varying costs)
• Parking (my twins opted not to take their car to college freshman year because they were on campus all the time and the parking fees were too high. Instead, they brought their bikes. There even ended up being a $25 “bike registration fee” that we had not planned for).
• Health insurance. If your children will not continue to be covered under your family plan, you’ll want to see if the college offers student insurance.
• Check out Slugbooks.com to buy, rent and sell textbooks.
• Campus Book Rentals offers new and gently used textbooks for typically less than half the price paid in school bookstores. They also offer RentBack , an initiative that allows students to rent the textbooks they own—to other students—and earn money.
• Travel expenses to come home on breaks and over the summer. Most colleges don’t allow students to remain in the dorms over the summer months so your children will have to move their belongings out of the dorms and either into storage or back into your home.

By the time your multiple birth children are college-aged they’ll have completed many monumental tasks and you’ll have survived a variety of seemingly insurmountable challenges. Preparing your children for college is just one of an assortment of important roles you’ll play in their lives over the years. You’ll perform those roles best if you are well informed so continue gathering information and asking questions, and hopefully your children will give you a break for a few years before they start asking you for advice on parenting their own children! Best of luck to each of you!

Donna May Lyons is a single mother of 20-year-old fraternal twin daughters and a 17-year-old son. She is pleased to report that after twenty years of parenting multiples plus one, her parenting motto is finally “Semper Gumby Omni Nocte Dormiens” (Always Flexible with a Full Night of Sleep). You can connect with Donna May on Facebook and Twitter .

Resources for College Admissions

Steps for the United States Military Academies Application Process

The National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) – Nearly 13,000 professionals from around the world dedicated to serving students as they make choices about pursuing postsecondary education. Offering extensive resources for students and parents.

College Navigator – A resource of the U.S. Department of Education. College Navigator gathers admission, retention, graduation, and financial aid data for every college in the country.

You Can Go – A College Board project connecting students with success stories about preparing, applying, and paying for college.

SR Education Group – An organization striving to be the most authoritative online resource to help students choose the best school for their career aspirations and budget. You can find their list of 2014 Most Affordable U.S. Online Colleges on their website.

Scholarships Trending Now – A great list of scholarships trending now at Scholarship.com.

Scholarship.com – A website filled with well-researched and thorough information for searing, finding, and applying for scholarships, grants, and financial aids. You can also search colleges, find your best fit, and receive notifications on new scholarships. They even offer an iPhone and Android app.

Find scholarship contests and sweepstakes, and scholarships sorted by:

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"Being a Twin" - College Application Personal Essay

djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 13, 2010   #1 So I am in the process of writing my personal essay and I want it to be the best it can be. The prompt is: Describe the environment in which you grew up, and explain how it has shaped you as a person. Here's what I have right now: "Are the two of you twins?" A polite, "Yes," as we walk by. When people learn I am a twin, they lead into the matter at the first available opportunity, as would be expected. No matter what we could previously be talking about, be it school...sports...weather, it is suddenly dropped in favor of this new one. When my brother and I are actually together, the fact that I am a twin is (obviously) much clearer. With this observation, someone may point and stare as if my twin and I are on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list, or other times, a total stranger might come up to us like we've known each other for years. A simple glance is all it takes to spark an interest. And so begins the flow of questions. "Am I seeing double?" "What's it like to be a twin?" (As if I have any means of comparison) How does one go about answering a question such as this? How can they understand twinhood from my perspective? For the seventeen years I have lived on this earth, I have encountered this situation more times than I care to count (This number not including the first quarter of my life which remains unclear, given the fact that I was but a mere child). All my life I have had an identical twin, an exact copy of my genetic make-up, and all my life people have never ceased to be amazed by this. The first question ("What's it like?") is general enough for me to describe the simple niceties of being a twin. The second question about whether or not I find it enjoyable, however, doesn't leave me with as much "wiggle room." I can pipe off the things I may insincerely like or dislike-the ability to play games with strangers, or the headaches which arise from lifelong sibling rivalry-but can I really say whether or not I want to be a twin? Being a twin is so fundamentally a part of my fundamental existence that I could never say yay or nay; all I can retort is a hesitant "Well, it's alright, I guess. I can't complain." Though in spells of rage I have been known to regard my twin brother as someone who is incompetent and riling, Zach and I are nevertheless best friends. There is no other person I have spent more time with than my brother, and can be around and yet proceed to act so innately and so uninhibited that it feels as though I were by myself. Granted we have our moments of weakness, but our fights are never caused by anything more than misplaced aggravation or fatigue-induced irritability. I suppose the most reasonable explanation for this is relatively simple; my brother and I understand each other better than anyone else. We get a kick out of the same jokes and respond to certain things in similar ways. We share the same interests and like all of the same foods. Just because we can finish one another's sentences, doesn't make us psychological oddities but shows just how identical we really are. While I could not be happier being a twin and would never wish otherwise, I often find myself zoning out when being bombarded with these questions. I guess this is because the inquirers are so interested in Zach and me collectively, not me as an individual. Expectations that my twin brother and I are the same person (produced twice) have limited my expression of my personality. I look forward to my college experience as a chance for people to know the me, and not (just) the we. I hope that as my brother and I both go our separate ways, I will find my own self through my journey to become a physician, thus developing a new identity different from that of my brother. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Should I add something about the university?

cmg 2 / 14   Oct 14, 2010   #2 Very good. You've gotten the environment part down and part of the shaping down, but you are actually just describing the "WE." Now you need to work on describing what exactly the environment did to make you who you are today. Other than that, this is a spectacular essay. There are no obvious grammar or spelling mistakes to distract the reader from the meaning of the essay itself.

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 14, 2010   #3 Well the other prompt is: Tell us something that you have not already told us in this application that will help us better understand your potential for success as a college student at the University of South Carolina. I wasn't sure which this would fall under

cmg 2 / 14   Oct 14, 2010   #4 In that case, go ahead with your plan. Excellent job.

vturbyfill 1 / 4   Oct 14, 2010   #5 I wasn't sure what you meant by 'pivotal existence' - specifically, the use of the word pivotal. I thought your whole essay was excellent! Very interesting to read, and particularly insightful into the world of being a twin (sorry - all us non-twins will be eternally curious about that!). Your last sentence ... Although I could not be happier being a twin and would never wish otherwise, I hope my college experience will be a chance for people to know the ME, not the WE. is great in concept as a closing sentence, but struck me as just a little weak in the way it flowed. Maybe replace 'although' with 'while' (works well with the word would, i think) and perhaps choose a stronger word than 'hope' ... "I can't wait for my college experience to be a chance for people to know the ME, not (just) the WE." Good luck!!

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 14, 2010   #6 Like fundamental. I'll change it to that. Thanks!

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 15, 2010   #7 I'm also wondering if I should add a little about how expectations limit my ability to express myself

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 16, 2010   #8 The second people learn I am an identical twin, the second everything previously being discussed is forgotten. School...sports...weather...you name it-gone. When my brother and I are actually together, there is no casual discussion. A total stranger will come up to you like you've known one another for years. A simple glance is all it takes to spark an interest, and so begins the flow of questions. ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Let me know what you think! Responses would be greatly appreciated! :-)

Editor1010 9 / 33   Oct 16, 2010   #9 It is an overall good essay however, I dont see the point of it honestly. You can talk about a lot of stuff and then in the end its like BOOM last sentence. You should interwine that last sentence through out your whole essay. The second people learn I am an identical twin, the second everything previously being discussed is forgotten. School...sports...weather...you name it-gone. When my brother and I are actually together, there is no casual discussion. A total stranger will come up to you like you've known one another for years. A simple glance is all it takes to spark an interest, and so begins the flow of questions. This whole paragraph is so confusing what are you trying to say ? reword it I look forward to my college experience as a chance for people to know the ME, and not (just) the WE. Its poor writing to use caps as you did. I understand you are trying to emphasize it but you haev to do that another way ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 20, 2010   #12 What would you recommend for a word count? I'm at 647 before adding info about differences, major interests, etc. from your statement above.

OP djlundi11 1 / 9   Oct 28, 2010   #14 It's 500! Shoot... Okay, I have it down to 497. -------------------------------------- "Are the two of you twins?" A polite, "Yes," as we walk by. When people learn I am a twin, they redirect discussion to the matter at the first available opportunity. Anything we could have previously been talking about is suddenly dropped in favor of this new one. When my brother and I are actually together, the fact that I am a twin is (obviously) much clearer. A simple glance is all it takes to spark an interest. And so begins the flow of questions. "What's it like to be a twin?" (As if I have any means of comparison) "Do you like it?" How does one go about answering a question such as this? How can they understand twinhood from my perspective? For the seventeen years I have lived on this earth, I have encountered this situation more times than I care to count. All my life I have had an identical twin and people have never ceased to be amazed by this. The first question ("What's it like?") is general enough for me to describe the simple niceties of being a twin. The second question about whether or not I find it enjoyable, however, doesn't leave me with as much "wiggle room." I can pipe off the things I may like or dislike--the ability to play games with strangers, or the headaches which arise from lifelong sibling rivalry--but can I really say whether or not I want to be a twin? Being a twin is so fundamentally a part of my existence that I could never say yay or nay; all I can retort is a hesitant "Well, it's alright, I guess. I can't complain." Though in spells of rage I have been known to regard my twin brother as someone who is incompetent and riling, Zach and I are nevertheless best friends. There is no other person I have spent more time with than my brother, and can be around and yet proceed to act so innately and so uninhibited that it feels as though I were by myself. Granted we have our moments of weakness, but our fights are never caused by anything more than misplaced aggravation or fatigue-induced irritability. I suppose the most reasonable explanation for this is relatively simple; my brother and I understand each other better than anyone else. We get a kick out of the same jokes and respond to certain things in similar ways. Just because we can finish one another's sentences, doesn't make us psychological oddities but shows just how identical we really are. While I could not be happier being a twin and would never wish otherwise, I look forward to my college experience as a chance for people to know the me, and not (just) the we. I hope that as my brother and I both go our separate ways, I will find my own self through my journey to become a physician, developing a new identity different from that of my brother.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

Parents: How to Handle College Applications with Twins or Multiples

Do you know how to improve your profile for college applications.

See how your profile ranks among thousands of other students using CollegeVine. Calculate your chances at your dream schools and learn what areas you need to improve right now — it only takes 3 minutes and it's 100% free.

For parents of twins or multiples, most milestones are a little different. From the baby years to starting school to juggling a myriad of activities and social events, everyday happenings are all a bit busier than the norm. College admissions are no different.

For some parents of multiples, college admissions present unique stressors. Not only are there double the deadlines, double the test scores, and double the paperwork. There are also double concerns—two or more students to worry about, instead of just one.

Some parents worry that their children will struggle to find themselves as individuals after a lifetime of being part of a unit. Others worry that feelings will be hurt when one sibling outperforms the other during the admissions process. Indeed, juggling the needs of two or more children both going through the college admissions process at once can be difficult. In this post, we outline our three top tips for parents of multiples who are undergoing the college admissions process.

1. Foster Independence Through Individual Conversations With Each Child

For twins and multiples who have gone to school together throughout their lives, the idea of splitting ways for college can be intimidating. Your children might be scared of setting out on their own for the first time and may be tempted to stick together just for the sake of comfort.

Remind your children that college represents a unique opportunity to reinvent themselves as individuals. For the first time, they have the chance to create an identity that doesn’t include their siblings. While this can be a scary prospect and might even seem like it’s denying an important part of who they are, it’s also an invaluable opportunity to focus on oneself and branch out beyond the comfort of the family unit.

Creating a college list is an ongoing process, and the final product should represent the schools that most closely align with your student’s academic and personal goals and ambitions. Many multiples struggle with the decision to make an independent college list, uninfluenced by the choices of his or her siblings.

You can foster your children’s unique interests by having individual conversations with each about college goals, priorities, and ambitions. While the temptation exists to roll these conversations into a family discussion, in the long run you will be doing yourself and your children a favor by allowing each the time to consider these things on their own.

To get the conversation started, take a look at these CollegeVine tips about creating a college list:

The College List, Decoded: Safety, Target, and Reach Schools

Seven Tips for Creating Your College List

Five Mistakes to Avoid When Creating Your College List

10 Considerations For Making Your College List

2. Remind Your Children that College Admissions Committees Don’t Judge Their Worth

Another common stressor for families with multiples undergoing the college admissions process stems from the concern that one child will feel less worthy than another when their college applications are evaluated. Sometimes, multiples present similar applications in terms of interests, grades, and test scores.

During most instances, when multiples present very similar applications, their admissions decisions will be the same. In fact, some admissions committees specifically review twin and multiple applications to ensure that similar decisions are made for similar applications.

At other times, though, the applications presented by twins or multiples are distinctly unique. When this is the case, applications will be evaluated differently and if siblings apply to the same schools, they may receive different admissions decisions. This can be a hard thing for families, but it will be easier if you have prepared your children in advance by reminding them of the bigger picture.

Make sure your children know that admissions committees are looking for students who shine on paper. They often have good grades and strong test scores, along with a variety of extracurriculars that easily translate onto an application. What college admissions committees often to struggle to measure is how kind a student is, what a good friend someone can be, and any number of less concrete but arguably more important factors. College admissions can sometimes seem unfair, but they aren’t a judgement of your child’s worth.

For more perspective on how college applicants are evaluated, see these posts:

What Type Of Student Do Colleges Want?

Know Your Reader: What Your College Admissions Committee Members Look Like

3. Consider Enlisting Some Help

Deadlines and test scores and finances, oh my!

With two or more kids going through college admissions at once, the paperwork and important dates can really add up. At the very least, you should employ an organizational system that works for your family. This might be a family calendar posted prominently, a shared organizational app, or a task manager like Trello. Efficiently sharing information, creating clear expectations, and ensuring that all members of the family have access to a common calendar should be top priorities.

Many families also find it helpful to bring a third party onboard. College guidance services vary from simply handling the paperwork and ensuring that everything gets submitted on time to managing the entire process closely, curating a college list, gathering scholarship applications, and editing application essays. Independent college counselors can be found in most areas through a simple online query, or the guidance counselor at your children’s school might be able to recommend someone.

Alternatively, you might consider an online college counselor to help. These services also vary widely, but in general they might be more convenient for busy families who struggle to coordinate times to meet in person.

To learn more about your role in the college application process, see these posts:

Parents, How Involved Should You be in the Application Process?

Parent Perspective: What You Need to Know About Today’s College Applications

How Can I Help My Child Prepare for College Applications?

What Parents Need to Know About SAT and ACT Studying Prep

Does your teen want access to expert college guidance — for free? When they create their free CollegeVine account, they will find out their real admissions chances, build a best-fit school list, learn how to improve their profile, and get their questions answered by experts and peers—all for free. Encourage them to sign up for their CollegeVine account today to get a boost on their college journey.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Personal Essay

Luke Peretti

English Composition 1302 (24354)

Having a twin brother is a blessing and a curse. He is always there for me and I always have a friend to talk to, but a majority of the time he pushes my buttons invades my personal space and gets on my nerves. Early in life, I used to like being a twin, especially a redheaded twin. I loved the attention and how much I stood out, but that quickly changed. In middle school, I realized that I very rarely got called by my first name anymore, I just get called by my last name because no one can tell me apart from my brother. When this first started I did not think much of it. Slowly it became normal to the point where my coaches and teachers forgot my actual name. After a few years of this, I began to realize no one thought of me as my own person, they only thought of me as just “one of the Peretti twins.” I started to hate constantly being identified as the same person as my brother and having my own personal identity. I realized most of my friends and coaches did not care enough to tell me apart from my brother. I resented them for not caring enough about me to realize my brother and I had different personalities, different strengths, and weaknesses, and were different people. This frustration even boiled over to my brother himself, I convinced myself that the only way I could stand out from him was to be better than him. So, I changed the way I dressed based on what clothes he was wearing, changed my hairstyle, and even talking poorly about my brother to my classmates and friends. I did all of this so they would think of me as the superior twin in hopes of differentiating myself from him. However, my attempts to establish my own individuality failed.

After four years of trying to differentiate me from my brother, nothing changed. I still only answer to my last name at school and practice and I still am known as just one of the twins. However, I realized that most people did not realize how much this hurts me because they have no idea what it’s like to be a twin. They have never felt what it’s like to have everything your brother does reflect upon themself and never be known as an individual but as the other half of a set. By my junior year, I decided to make a change for the better and to be more positive. I began to realize that belittling my brother to make me look better just made me look worse because people think of us as the same person. I started to use that as motivation to make me be a better brother and person in general. I embraced being a twin and realized making him look good made me look good as well, so I became more positive and helped him get better at his weaknesses and he helped me get better at mine so that we could become the best version of ourselves individually, but also together. I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I became focused on becoming closer to the people who really cared about me and knew me for who I really am. Looking back, all of my arguments and struggles with my brother made me push myself to be the best version of myself and I will always be thankful for the lessons he taught me.

Written by Luke Peretti

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