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October 10, 2019
How to Use Powerful Details to Create Strong Essays
To really draw your readers into your goal-focused essay, you’re going to want to lay the scene for your future accomplishments. After all, what better way to convince the adcom of your ambitions than to illustrate them in your essay?
First, identify your goal.
When you begin your essay, try showing yourself having reached your long-term goal, rather than merely stating what it is. For example: Are you talking on the phone to clients about your electronics recycling system? Video conferencing with workers in a Southeast Asian outsourcing company? Helping NGOs build professional networks through available connectivity products?
Then, go into detail about what you’re actually doing at this future moment.
Don’t just explain that you’re working as a data analyst, but truly describe what you will look like and what you’re feeling at a particular moment. Where will you be sitting or standing? What will you say? What will happen because of what you say?
Next, draw your reader deeper into your future.
Don’t stop at the snapshot of your workday. What happens next? How have you been able to get to this point? What is the next goal you want to reach?
It is not hard to go from something tangible – a person executing job responsibilities – to an analysis of what that person needs to add to their knowledge bank to reach that career goal.
Finally, show how your background, professional experience, and other activities and achievements provide the framework for this snapshot of the future.
What are your professional and community service activities.
Help the admissions committee members get excited about the way you serve your community and employer by showing scenes of yourself involved in particular activities. Get into the details of your experience by asking yourself some questions:
- Are you talking with a mentally or physically disabled client?
- Are you on the phone with a client, vendor, or sponsor for a fundraising event?
- Are you searching for talent?
- Are you on a sports team?
- What does it look like where you are? What are you doing?
- What are you saying or thinking or feeling and what happens as a consequence of what you have done?
- What have you learned from the experience?
- How do you know you learned it?
How has your family and cultural background influenced who you are today?
Show yourself with your family in a typical room or event or show yourself alone and missing them. Or show yourself with them at a time that was definitive for everyone. For example:
- Who is talking?
- What is he or she saying?
- How did the outcome matter to you?
- What did it teach you?
How would you describe a time you executed a plan?
Start in the thick of it. Describe the scene by asking:
- Who is doing what? Why?
- How did you come up with this plan?
- What is the next step for everyone? What does that look like?
- What is the impact of your plan’s success?
Are you working on an essay about a time you demonstrated leadership?
Put yourself in the midst of the event where you are the leader and describe what’s going on :
- Who else is involved?
- How did you contact them?
- What did you suggest they do and why?
- Where were you when you realized you had led successfully?
- What does this example of leadership tell you about the attributes leadership requires?
How have your experience, activities, and commitments played a role in the evolution of your goals?
Show the committee what the activity requires of you by placing yourself in a scene from that activity:
- What equipment are you handling?
- What are the dangers or pitfalls you must avoid?
- What are you and others saying?
- What are you hoping for by participating in this activity?
- What does your participation mean to you and to others?
The value of setting the scene in your goal-oriented essay
Building scenes lets you start your essays without using exposition just to fill the reader in. If after you start the scene , you realize you do need to fill the reader in on some details, you can do so because after you have established the scene, the reader will already be interested in learning more and the exposition will not jar the reader out of the picture.
Explore our Admissions Services and work one-on-one with an expert advisor who will help you mine your experiences and measure your ambitions to create essays that paint the perfect picture of your long-term goals. Learn more about how we can help you GET ACCEPTED.
By Sheila Bender, writer, poet, former Accepted admissions consultant, and founder of Writing it Real . Want an admissions expert help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch!
Related Resources:
• 5 Fatal Flaws to Avoid in Your Grad School Statement of Purpose , a free guide • Application Essay Tip: The Devil is in the Details • Writing a Lead That Pops
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How to Start a College Essay – 12 Techniques and Tips
August 1, 2023
Your college tours are scheduled, you’re knee-deep in SAT/ACT prep , application deadlines are quickly approaching, and then it happens: writer’s block hits you hard. You’re stumped, wondering how to start a college essay. It’s all too easy to overthink it when acceptances are on the line. But don’t fret! We’ve got you covered with 12 tips and techniques, plus answers to common questions like: Can I start my essay with a quote? Should I try to sound as smart as possible? Is it okay to use humor?
Keep reading for all you need to know about how to start a college essay:
- Common Mistakes to Avoid
How to Start a College Essay: The Content
How to start a college essay: the style.
- More Resources
How to Start a College Essay: Common Mistakes to Avoid
Since admissions readers are looking to be surprised and engaged right away, it’s safest to avoid these overused techniques.
1) Pulling out the dictionary
Chances are, your reader already knows the definition of the word you’re tempted to copy and paste from Merriam-Webster . Unless you’re starting with a word in a non-English language or a word that 98% of the population truly does not know, there’s no need to turn to the dictionary. Assume your reader is a smart person who is already in the know.
2) Choosing clichés
Clichés are boring in writing because they’re, well…cliché. Before you tell an admissions reader that all that glitters isn’t gold or there’s a silver lining to every cloud, remember that their job involves reading hundreds if not thousands of college essays. The way to impress them is to stand out as someone with unique insights, opinions, or creativity. Not sure if the phrase you’re using is trite or overused? Look it up online and see if there is an overabundance of results.
How to Start a College Essay (Continued)
3) beginning broadly.
Since the dawn of time, students have been starting essays too broadly. Your college admissions essays are about you, your experiences, your values, and your goals. So, starting with general statements like “Different cultures have different traditions and values” or “We have to be the change we want to see in the world” don’t center you as the topic of your essay. If you’re writing your essay about, say, your Polynesian identity and your love of Hula dance or the summer you spent making vats of soup for a food kitchen, jump right into sharing a vivid memory from those experiences instead.
4) Leading with a quote
“Can I start my college essay with a quote?” is one of the most common questions we get. The problem with starting with a quote is the same as starting too broadly: you don’t center yourself as the topic of your essay. Since college essays are short, the quote itself and the many sentences it will take to transition to the rest of your content will eat up precious word count. Unless it’s a deep-cut quote that’s highly particular to you and your niche interests, quotes anywhere in your essay can come across as cliché.
A stand-out college admissions essay will grab your reader’s attention and immediately give them a sense of who you are, what you value, and what’s unique about you. Trying to decide how to start a college essay? First, take a look at our guide to the Common App Prompts . Then, use one of these five techniques to brainstorm content:
1) Share a challenge you’ve overcome
Since college is all about growth and learning, one tried and true strategy is describing a challenge you’ve overcome that you’ve learned a lot from. Example:
For my first three months of middle school choir, I was nothing more than a ventriloquist’s dummy, mouthing words with no sound coming out. I was terrified to use my voice. Then, one fateful morning, Mrs. Garcia asked me to solo in front of the whole class.
A strong essay about a challenge you’ve overcome will explain who you were before, how you overcame the challenge, and who you are now. Taking this approach allows you to demonstrate that you’re able to rise to meet challenges, learn through difficulty, and apply yourself even when you’re uncomfortable. A word of warning though: avoid writing about very common challenges like pushing yourself to beat your cross-country time, studying for the SAT/ACT or other big tests, or transitioning from middle to high school. Since so many students share these experiences as common ground, these topics will make it hard to stand out from the crowd.
Want even more tips on writing about a challenge you’ve overcome? Check out our full guide to the Overcoming Challenges prompt.
2) Show your funny side
Yes, humor works well in college essays! Poking fun at one of your quirks or (inconsequential) shortcomings can be a great way to reveal your personality. Example:
Every day, I begged. At bedtime, at breakfast, for my birthday, for Christmas—I begged for a skateboard. Mom said it was too dangerous, Dad thought they were too noisy, but still I dreamed of cruising the neighborhood and learning to ollie in our driveway. My 14th birthday was the day my begging finally ended. It was also the day I learned I have absolutely no sense of balance.
Opening with a humorous story paints a vivid picture of you right away, but where you take it from there matters. You probably wouldn’t want to write a whole essay about breaking your tailbone and this isn’t the right forum for a stand-up routine. But you could take an opening like this in a variety of directions that reveal more meaningful truths about you. For example, after this opener, this writer could go on to:
- Talk about other new skills they tried that they were able to land better than an ollie.
- Describe how they learned about balance in other avenues of their life.
3) Clear up a misconception about you
Although college essays are brief, you’ll want to squeeze in as much depth and breadth as you can. Starting by addressing an assumption or stereotype you’ve faced can be an efficient and engaging way to move past the superficial. Example:
Blonde. Four foot eight. Size five feet. Strangers and well-meaning friends sometimes offer me a booster seat or ask if I need help carrying heavy things. Little do they know I can deadlift 135 pounds. My first teen powerlifting competition is coming up this spring.
Clearing up a misconception allows you to surprise your admissions reader and share something meaningful about yourself in one stroke. When using this strategy, think about all the different layers of your identity. What assumptions do others make of you and what might casual acquaintances or strangers be surprised to learn? A word of warning: steer clear of being too critical of others. Although stereotypes and assumptions are difficult to bear, for this essay, you’ll want to focus on you —your accomplishments, skills, and passions—instead of others.
4) Invite us in
Are Shabbat dinners with your whole extended family the highlight of your week? Do you feel most alive when you’re at your keyboard composing a new song or when you’re at a Robotics Club meeting, throwing out wild design ideas with your team? When you invite us in, you’re letting your reader in on the places you’re most at home, most excited, or most yourself. Example:
When I was seven years old, my grandma sat me down at her sewing table and taught me how to sew back on the button that had popped off my sweater. I can still feel her hands on mine, showing me where to place the needle. It was the first of what became weekly lessons on backstitching, basting, hemming pants, and embroidery. I didn’t know it then, but it was the first day of my journey into fashion design.
To brainstorm for this technique, list experiences that have helped shape your values, goals, and interests. Think of things you do every week but also once-in-a-lifetime events. You’ll want to begin this essay by choosing one meaningful experience to share in the beginning of your essay. Use vivid details that help a reader imagine the experience for themselves and then explain why this experience matters to you.
5) Nerd out about a problem you’ve solved
If you’ve hit the library stacks to find the answer to a burning question, stayed after class to ask your teacher for more homework, worked with a student club to improve a campus issue, or concocted your own science experiment, this might be the essay tactic for you. Example:
As a volunteer at my local pet rescue, I surprised myself by becoming a crusader for birds. Dogs and cats were adopted all the time, but the parrots, cockatiels, and parakeets sat in their cages for ages, chattering away and waiting for their forever homes. I realized it was an issue of awareness: no one knew our shelter rescued birds. Thirty YouTube tutorials and one online digital marketing class later, I had developed a ten-step social media strategy.
A great way to share your unique interests, this technique lets you showcase the curiosity and eagerness to learn you’ll be bringing with you to college. To brainstorm for this essay, think of times when you’ve worked solo or with a team to discover something new or solve a tricky problem. As you write about this experience, describe the initial problem, any difficulties you encountered, and the strategies you used to find a solution.
We’ve covered essay content, but you may still be wondering how to start a college essay that grabs your reader’s attention. Here are three key style tips that will help breathe life into your writing:
1) Share a story
As you can probably tell from the examples above, we recommend starting your essay off with an engaging story. Before you tell a reader that you’re an introvert who also loves performing in musical theater, you’ll want to tell the tale of the first time you braved the spotlight. Before you explain that you plan to major in political science, describe the town hall meeting you attended in the 7 th grade that started it all.
2) Use vivid descriptions
When we read, we’re most engaged when we feel like we can clearly imagine the scene. To draw a reader in, use the same storytelling strategies that fiction writers use: sensory descriptions, concrete details, and passing time.
- Sensory descriptions: Describe the smell of your mother’s biryani cooking on the stove, the temperature of the air at the start of your first half marathon. Sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Engage as many of the five senses as you can.
- Concrete details: Concrete details are particular descriptions of places, people, and objects. If you’re describing a service trip to Honduras, describe the buildings, streets, and food you ate so your reader can imagine it.
- Passing time: Making time pass means ensuring you have a clear sense of the beginning, middle, and end of your story. To keep things clear, put your details in linear order and make sure to include temporal transitional phrases like “When I was six years old,” “Later, in high school,” and “Now, as I reflect back.”
3) Use your own voice
When you’re wondering how to start your college essay, it can be tempting to write in the same style you use for academic essays. But the college essay is a personal essay, not an essay for school. For this style of writing, you’ll want to be clear, thoughtful, and grammatically correct, but you’ll also want to be personable, engaging, and, most importantly, yourself. With that in mind, skip the SAT vocabulary words and opt for a more conversational tone instead.
How to Start a College Essay: More Resources
Looking to learn even more about how to start a college essay? If you’re ready to get started on your supplemental essays, check out our walk-through of the Why This College essay and explore our blog posts discussing the supplemental essay prompts for 50+ schools . You may also wish to read our piece on How to End a College Essay .
- College Essay
Christina Wood
Christina Wood holds a BA in Literature & Writing from UC San Diego, an MFA in Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis, and is currently a Doctoral Candidate in English at the University of Georgia, where she teaches creative writing and first-year composition courses. Christina has published fiction and nonfiction in numerous publications, including The Paris Review , McSweeney’s , Granta , Virginia Quarterly Review , The Sewanee Review , Mississippi Review , and Puerto del Sol , among others. Her story “The Astronaut” won the 2018 Shirley Jackson Award for short fiction and received a “Distinguished Stories” mention in the 2019 Best American Short Stories anthology.
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Hook Technique 2: Setting the Scene
essaypop hook 0
Here’s your chance to show off those storytelling skills.
First off, why does the introduction need a hook?
An effective introduction always begins with an engaging hook. The hook starts a conversation with the reader in a way that is interesting and appropriate to the writing. A good hook demonstrates that you know your audience and that you understand what they care about. Most importantly, it makes the reader want to keep reading. A good hook prepares the reader to absorb the nitty-gritty details, facts, statistics and quotations that will be a big part of your text and evidence-based essay, and it does it in a way that motivates the reader to want to go down this path with you.
With this hook you drop the reader directly into a compelling scene or setting. This technique allows you to show off some of your narrative/ storytelling skills while setting the scene for a number of different types of essays.
Type of essay: persuasive / argumentative
The prompt: People have a natural, almost primal fear of rattlesnakes. Often the first reaction to seeing a rattler in a residential area is panic and fear. In areas such as such as suburban Southern California, is it possible for rattlesnakes and humans to coexist with one another?
Perfectly still, except for a flickering, forked tongue, lies a prehistoric-looking serpent, sunning itself on the terracotta tiles of somebody’s back porch. It’s eyes are black pinpricks, and its rusty-brown scales glisten like glass. Only when disturbed or annoyed does it sound it’s wickedly dry rattle. “Stay away away or suffer the consequences!” it announces rhythmically. While most cautious folks would take great care to give wide berth to such a creature, the residents of Southern California’s Northridge suburb have grown quite accustomed to the sound of the Mojave rattlesnake in a state of agitation. Does the rattling cause these residents to panic? Not really. The sound creates instead a healthy sense of cautiousness, curiosity and respect. Human beings and rattlesnakes seem a truly unlikely pair, but in many suburban regions of Southern California, Arizona and Nevada people and rattlers have coexisted in the most unexpected ways. You might even call the relationship downright amicable. This paper will focus on examples of…
Why this hook works
The fearsome image of an agitated rattlesnake on the back porch is bound get any reader’s attention. This hook is descriptive, even literary, and it capitalizes on the fear factor. Then it shifts to the unexpected — these deadly snakes aren’t that big of a deal to certain California suburbanites. The hook is effective for three reasons: it creates a sense of excitement; it switches gears unexpectedly; it transitions smoothly into the thesis. Give this technique a try.
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