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June 8, 2023

The Fingerprints of Parents in College Essays

One question we at Ivy Coach sometimes get from parents during free consultations goes like this: “Can’t college admissions officers tell you had a hand in your students’ essays?” Our answer? “If college admissions officers suspected we had a hand in brainstorming and revising our students’ essays, we wouldn’t be very good at what we do, and our students wouldn’t be earning admission to their dream schools year after year over the last 30 years.”

You see, when we revise our students’ essays, we leave not one fingerprint in any one of these essays. We don’t use words that businesspeople, doctors, and lawyers use. We teach our students not to use big words when small words will do just fine. Thinking of using the word “plethora” or “copious”? You’re not the only student who learned these words in preparation for the SAT. Write “a lot” instead so it doesn’t appear like you’re trying to impress.

We teach our students to dare to write fragments. We teach our students to dare to defy the rules so many high school English teachers hammer into their heads. 

In our experience, teenagers write a certain way, and even those students with perfect or near-perfect reading scores on the SAT or ACT, with perfect scores on AP English Language and Composition and AP English Literature and Composition, aren’t strong writers. Yes, most high school students can’t write very well . It’s a sad truth. It was the case in 1993. It’s the case in 2023.

At Ivy Coach, we help make their prose much more compelling so that they stand out and effectively dare admissions officers not to offer them admission.

Do Parents Write College Essays?

Some parents  think  they’re good writers. As such, they feel confident attempting to spruce up — or even outright write — their child’s college essays. But their confidence is  sorely misplaced . Admissions officers  weren’t  born yesterday. They can so often tell when a parent wrote a college essay or even fine-tuned a student’s story. It’s typically quite noticeable.

The Invisible Fingerprint of Parents in College Essays

And, no, not just anyone should be editing college essays — and especially not parents. A few years ago, we read a terrific editorial in  The New York Times  penned by JM Farkas. The piece, aptly titled “ How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay ,” references one specific fingerprint parents so often leave behind in college essays. It’s an invisible fingerprint . It’s one we’ve written about many times over the years on the pages of our college admissions blog.

So what might this invisible fingerprint be? It’s two spaces after a period. You see, many parents grew up using typewriters or word processors. Their English teachers taught them to place two spaces after each period. But kids these days don’t put two spaces after a period. Have you ever seen two spaces after a period on any of our blogs? Nope. Scan the pages of our website — just one space after each period.

The two spaces fingerprint is but one such fingerprint of parents in college admissions essays. Fancy words. Business-y buzzwords, even simple expressions like “next steps.” These are significant red flags in college essays that point to the assistance of a parent.

What Happens If a Parent Is Caught Writing a College Essay?

So what happens if an admissions officer at an elite university raises a red flag after reading a college essay that hints at a parent’s participation in the writing process?  That’s easy . The admissions officer will recommend denying the student admission without further consideration. It will cost a student any chance of admission.

We Leave No Fingerprint in Our Students’ College Essays

A few years ago, we came across an essay that was even written in the third person . The parent must have forgotten to write in the student’s voice. Oy vey is right! It’s so very easy to tell when parents — who are often not particularly good writers themselves — have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays. It’s also very easy to tell when bad high school English teachers , school counselors, and private college counselors have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays.

One of the reasons we at Ivy Coach are able to help our students earn admission to their dream schools year after year is because an admissions officer would never know we helped revise their essays. After all, good writing is about brainstorming and revising. It’s true for novels. It’s true for television scribes. It’s true for journalists. Through the revision process, students even become more persuasive writers. It’s a big part of Ivy Coach’s secret sauce, a sauce which happens to be delicious. Notice we didn’t say toothsome .

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TOWARD THE CONQUEST OF ADMISSION

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Experts offer four reasons why kids need to own their college essays — and one way parents can help

The day the Operation Varsity Blues admissions scandal broke, I was gutted. The news that a well-heeled cohort of parents paid eye-watering amounts of money to get their kids into brand-name universities felt acutely damaging and unfair — not only to the kids who earned their admissions offers honestly but also to those kids whose parents conned the system.

Beyond telegraphing to students that it’s okay to cheat, the message these parents sent to their children was: You know all that hard work you did in high school? None of it is good enough.

Admittedly, the college application process can be overwhelming, and kids could use some assistance navigating it all. But if the college application process feels as if it’s gotten out of hand, we parents — with our resources and connections, degrees and expectations — are at least partly to blame.

“Can we just say how crazy it is that we even have to have this conversation in the first place?” says Macy Lenox, a mom of two and an associate dean of admissions at the University of Virginia. “As a parent myself, I don’t come to this from a place of judgment but from one of understanding. We’re drowning our kids in our best intentions. We’ve lost sight of our job, which is not to be the applicant, but to be the best supporters of the applicant we can be.” This means demonstrating confidence in their abilities, Lenox says. “By doing things for them, you’re saying, I can do this better than you . Part of our job is empowering them to be advocates for themselves; to be successful in college, you’ve got to be able to use your own voice.”

Yet when we hear stories from friends or read posts on social media about all the hoop-jumping necessary to get into college these days, it’s understandably crazy-making. Even the most stalwart defenders of their kids’ independence can lose sight of the line between supporting and doing the work for them. And while most parents would rightfully balk at the idea of, say, rigging their kid’s SAT score , or Photoshopping their child’s face onto the body of an athlete in a sport their kid doesn’t play , the writing of college essays — with their lack of oversight, benchmarks or guarantees — remains a gray area.

Shawn Felton, senior director of undergraduate admissions at Cornell University, stresses how essential it is that kids don’t leapfrog over the opportunities for introspection intrinsic in writing essays. “Applying to college is a milestone marked by an applicant’s commitment to invest in further engaging, understanding and communicating themselves [to people] beyond those who have always known them,” Felton says. “Colleges ask applicants to take a look inside themselves and consider who they are and what they want. My hope is that individuals invest in better knowing themselves during this moment, and that they bring a real authenticity to communicating with colleges when writing their essays.”

Parents can, however, support their kids through this process, which includes encouraging them to do the challenging and ultimately gratifying work of telling their story on the page. Here, college admissions experts offer four reasons why parents should take a step back — and one way we can lean into the moment.

Writing their college essays helps kids gear up for success after high school . “The admission experience is a precursor to life in college — parents are not going to be there to concierge for their child,” says Rick Clark, director of undergraduate admission at Georgia Tech and author of “ The Truth About College Admission .” Clark says that the essays are the one place on the application that kids’ voices can come through: “That’s fundamentally the point of the essay — it’s important for the applicant to examine and articulate what matters to them . When parents become a second author, they rob the essay of the very thing we’re looking for, which is the student’s voice.”

“The college search itself is a learning experience, and everything changes so much from the time kids start the process to the time they enroll. In writing the essays, kids should discover something that’s important to them,” says education journalist and author of Jeff Selingo, who spent a year embedded in admissions offices at competitive colleges around the country for his book “ Who Gets in and Why?: A Year Inside College Admissions .” On a practical note, Selingo adds: “You’re going to have to be able to write when you’re in college; you might as well learn how to write now.”

Writing is therapy. “It can be frustrating to watch students grapple with their personal narratives, but when adults impose their word choices and life experiences on a student’s college essays, it sacrifices the authenticity,” says Mike Mallory, a former associate dean of admissions at U-Va. and current president and CEO of the Ron Brown Scholar Fund.

Mallory, who has been reading college essays for more than three decades, including more than 2,000 essays each year written by the high-achieving African American students who apply for the Ron Brown program, emphasizes that the exercise of telling your story is part of the coming-of-age of the college process: “ The inherent value of an essay is the opportunity for reflection and growth, and drafting essays involves a decision-making process that can be as unique as a thumbprint. When students decide on their own topic, ... it’s invariably much better than whatever someone else might come up with for them. It may not be an easy topic to write about, but if it’s yours, no one should dissuade you from writing it.”

Admissions officers know what a 17-year-old voice sounds like — and what a 47-year-old voice sounds like. “When parents overly coach or even write the essays, they usually end up trying to shoehorn their kid’s entire life into a couple of hundred words, or trying to write a list of what they think the admissions officers want to read — I started a nonprofit, I went on a service trip to fill-in-the-blank country . It’s highly mind-numbing,” Selingo says. “Admissions officers are really looking for something they can’t learn from other parts of the application, the slice-of-life stories. It’s the authenticity of the kid’s voice that makes an essay stand out. ”

UVA’s Lenox underscores this point: “The best essays are the ones where we don’t just want to admit the student, we want to take them out for coffee once they’re here. We’re not admitting academic machines — we’re admitting classmates and roommates and kids who will make thoughtful contributions to our community.”

If you write your kid’s essay, you’re depriving them of the opportunity to recognize just how much they do bring to the table. “Communicating with intent and purpose through their admission essays is a kind of writing exercise that most college applicants have not experienced,” Cornell’s Felton says. “Just like the life journeys of most college applicants are still being shaped and realized, so, too, are their communication and writing skills. When reading college application essays, we expect to see this unfinished vulnerability on display in a distinct, unique way for each applicant. It’s important for us to hear directly from each applicant about their story and how it’s going so far.”

Essays can provide a growth opportunity for parents, too. Yes, kids need to write their own essays, but they don’t have to do it alone. Whitney Soule, dean of admissions and student aid at Bowdoin College, adds that parents can help with essays by encouraging them to flesh out their thoughts and ensure clarity: “Parents can be a sounding board for an idea, asking questions that help the student develop that idea further or let them know if a description is confusing. When anyone besides the student does the writing, it actually interferes with how that picture comes together for us in admissions.”

Lenox says that the most effective editing is in questioning, not rewriting: “Parents can ask what did you mean by that? Is it clear to the audience? Polishing is clarity, not changing. Kids should be asked this many times over to ensure they’re not just throwing out an answer that they think you want to hear.”

Parents should certainly play a supporting role in perhaps the most important aspect of the college process: helping kids thrive wherever they enroll. “Parents love their kids, but your job as a parent isn’t to get your kid into a certain school,” Clark says. “Your job is to prepare them for wherever they go. Build the foundation — not just academically. Wherever they land, you want them to be successful.”

Adrienne Wichard-Edds is a writer and co-founder of www.theessaycoaches.com . Follow her on Twitter at @WichardEdds .

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More reading:

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Want your child to get into college and have a good life? Here’s how.

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

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How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay

The paradox of the overzealous editing of the college essay by many helicopter parents is that they don’t know what a college essay is really about.

By JM Farkas

Henceforth.

It was right there in the last sentence of the first paragraph of Mikey’s college essay. I was supposed to believe this typical high school senior, who had inhabited this planet for a slight 17 years, chose to use the word “henceforth.” Mikey was a good kid. He worked hard in school. He loved basketball and girls and math.

He had a certain way with words, but “henceforth” wasn’t one of his words.

When I circled it, Mikey met my raised eyebrows with his signature closed-mouth smile: “O.K., so maybe my mom wrote that part.”

No kidding, Mikey.

The paradox of the overzealous editing of the college essay by many helicopter parents is that they don’t know what a college essay is really about. Unlike the other parts of the application, where high grade point averages and SAT scores reign supreme, the essay is less about being impressive than it is about being authentic.

It can take some convincing for many kids and parents to believe that when it comes to writing the essays, in particular, college admissions officers care about who students are. The essays should reveal their personalities, passions, dreams, weird talents, favorite foods, sickest playlists, inexplicable loves and undeniable quirks.

Do you like to eat the marshmallows before the milk in your Lucky Charms? A tiny but specific detail like this will probably be more vivid than an entirely forced and forgettable essay on community service.

The college essay is about the true things students want the colleges to know about them that can’t be seen via grades and standardized tests. Are you kind? Resilient? Curious? Creative? Are you any fun? And contrary to popular belief, it’s not about unattainable standards or curing cancer. In fact, a good test of a college essay is: Can the writer convince the reader that she would make a great roommate?

So the good news is: The college essay is the purest part of the application.

The bad news: Parents, when you mess with your kids’ pure voices, you’re actually co-writing terrible college essays. And far more egregious and dangerous: You’re teaching your children that when the stakes are high enough, it’s O.K. to be unethical and possibly a plagiarist.

So aside from ridiculously lofty vocabulary or an overly mature perspective, how do I know when a parent or another adult is likely to have written a kid’s essay?

The secret is practically invisible.

When I learned how to type in high school, the definitive rule was to leave two spaces after a period.

Today, kids are taught to use one .

As a former high school teacher, I have worked with hundreds of students on their college essays. Later, as a private college essay consultant, I worked with students and parents at some top private schools before I became an admissions counselor for a small liberal arts college.

Over the years, I’ve noticed this pattern. Often the first draft of an essay has sentences with one space after the periods, but the next draft changes to two. Or, an essay might start off with single spaces after periods, but by the end, suddenly the sentences have two spaces after periods. Or, a final draft might include a wild mishmash of alternating spacing after periods: sometimes one, sometimes two.

So to well-intended adults: in those extra spaces, you are leaving incriminating fingerprints on your student’s show of authenticity. And in trying to make the essay polished enough to prove to an admissions officer that your student is ready for the responsibilities of college, you are showing that you are not so sure.

Henceforth, back off.

JM Farkas is a college essay consultant, teacher, poet and author of “ Be Brave: An Unlikely Manual for Erasing Heartbreak .”

How to Write Your College Essay: The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide

Getting ready to start your college essay? Your essay is very important to your application — especially if you’re applying to selective colleges.

Become a stronger writer by reviewing your peers’ essays and get your essay reviewed as well for free.

We have regular livestreams during which we walk you through how to write your college essay and review essays live.

College Essay Basics

Just getting started on college essays? This section will guide you through how you should think about your college essays before you start.

• Why do essays matter in the college application process?
• What is a college application theme and how do you come up with one?
• How to format and structure your college essay

Before you move to the next section, make sure you understand:

How a college essay fits into your application

What a strong essay does for your chances

How to create an application theme

Learn the Types of College Essays

Next, let’s make sure you understand the different types of college essays. You’ll most likely be writing a Common App or Coalition App essay, and you can also be asked to write supplemental essays for each school. Each essay has a prompt asking a specific question. Each of these prompts falls into one of a few different types. Understanding the types will help you better answer the prompt and structure your essay.

• How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges
• Personal Statement Essay Examples
• How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity Essay
• Extracurricular Essay Examples
• Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay
• Diversity Essay Examples
• Tips for Writing a Standout Community Service Essay
• How to Write the “Why This Major” Essay
• How to Write a “Why This Major” Essay if You’re Undecided
• How to write the “Why This College” Essay
• How to Research a College to Write the “Why This College” Essay
• Why This College Essay Examples
• How to Write The Overcoming Challenges Essay
• Overcoming Challenges Essay Examples

Identify how each prompt fits into an essay type

What each type of essay is really asking of you

How to write each essay effectively

The Common App essay

Almost every student will write a Common App essay, which is why it’s important you get this right.

• How to Write the Common App Essay
• Successful Common App Essay Examples
• 5 Awesome College Essay Topics + Sample Essays
• 11 Cliché College Essay Topics + How to Fix Them

How to choose which Common App prompts to answer

How to write a successful Common App essay

What to avoid to stand out to admissions officers

Supplemental Essay Guides

Many schools, especially competitive ones, will ask you to write one or more supplemental essays. This allows a school to learn more about you and how you might fit into their culture.

These essays are extremely important in standing out. We’ve written guides for all the top schools. Follow the link below to find your school and read last year’s essay guides to give you a sense of the essay prompts. We’ll update these in August when schools release their prompts.

See last year’s supplemental essay guides to get a sense of the prompts for your schools.

Essay brainstorming and composition

Now that you’re starting to write your essay, let’s dive into the writing process. Below you’ll find our top articles on the craft of writing an amazing college essay.

• Where to Begin? 3 Personal Essay Brainstorming Exercises
• Creating the First Draft of Your College Application Essay
• How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay
• What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?
• 8 Do’s and Don’t for Crafting Your College Essay
• Stuck on Your College Essay? 8 Tips for Overcoming Writer’s Block

Understand how to write a great hook for your essay

Complete the first drafts of your essay

Editing and polishing your essay

Have a first draft ready? See our top editing tips below. Also, you may want to submit your essay to our free Essay Peer Review to get quick feedback and join a community of other students working on their essays.

• 11 Tips for Proofreading and Editing Your College Essay
• Getting Help with Your College Essay
• 5 DIY Tips for Editing Your College Essay
• How Long Should Your College Essay Be?
• Essential Grammar Rules for Your College Apps
• College Essay Checklist: Are You Ready to Submit?

Proofread and edited your essay.

Had someone else look through your essay — we recommend submitting it for a peer review.

Make sure your essay meets all requirements — consider signing up for a free account to view our per-prompt checklists to help you understand when you’re really ready to submit.

Advanced College Essay Techniques

Let’s take it one step further and see how we can make your college essay really stand out! We recommend reading through these posts when you have a draft to work with.

• 10 Guidelines for Highly Readable College Essays
• How to Use Literary Devices to Enhance Your Essay
• How to Develop a Personalized Metaphor for Your College Applications

The Ultimate Guide to College Essay Writing for Parents: How to Support Your Child

Support your child through their college essay journey. Overcome common challenges like rejection letters and writer's block. Find out the best practices to be a supportive parent during application season in this article!

So, your child has narrowed down their list of colleges, and now comes the daunting task of writing multiple essays, including personal statements and school-specific supplements. You as a parent might be wondering, how can I help That’s where this guide on college essay writing for parents comes in. Hint: You will not be writing the essay.Finding the right balance between providing assistance and respecting their autonomy can be tricky. After all, teenagers often need space to express themselves, but they may also benefit from some guidance.The personal statement itself can be a challenging task for many students. It requires a different writing style than they are accustomed to in school. You may have concerns about offering too much help and crossing into the territory of plagiarism or compromising your academic integrity.On the other hand, you may worry that your child needs to enhance their writing skills, and you start Googling how to write a college essay to make sure they're doing it correctly. But WAIT. It's essential to find the "Goldilocks Zone" where you honor their boundaries while providing the necessary support.In this guide, let's find out what parental support you can provide your child during the writing process.

What is a college essay

Most students will use the Common App when applying to colleges and universities in the U.S., while fewer schools prefer their own system or the Coalition application. Whether it's the Common App or another, most universities ask students to submit a personal statement or essay as a crucial part of their application. The college application essays allow students to showcase their unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives to the admissions committees.Let's look at one of the Common App prompts to give you an idea."Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Here, students can delve into a personal story or experience that has shaped who they are and how it relates to their aspirations.With a limit of 650 words or fewer, students must carefully craft their essays , expressing themselves authentically and concisely. It's a chance to highlight their strengths, passions, and what makes them stand out from other applicants.Check out more college essays for parents to help your child.

What are some common college essay writing challenges

Here are some common challenges that students may face when writing their college essays:

Choosing a compelling topic

Your child might need help selecting a topic that showcases their unique qualities and experiences. For example, they may need help deciding whether to write about a personal achievement, a challenging life event, or a meaningful hobby.

Organizing their thoughts

Your child finds it challenging to structure their essay clearly and cohesively. They may have numerous ideas but need help to present them logically and engagingly.

Finding their voice

Developing a distinct writing style can take time for many students. They may need help to strike the right balance between sounding authentic and maintaining a formal tone.

Meeting word limits

With word limits imposed by college applications, students may need help expressing their thoughts concisely. They may need help cutting down their essay while conveying their message effectively.

Overcoming self-doubt

Students often need help with self-doubt and worry about whether their essay is good enough. They may question their writing abilities or compare themselves to others, hindering their creativity and confidence.

Editing and revising

After writing a draft, students need to revise and edit their essays. It can be challenging to objectively evaluate their work and make necessary improvements.

A parent's role in the college essay process

It's important that students write their college essays and that you give empathetic support. They may not want you involved. They might also be frustrated with the process or nervous to ask for help. Try to empathize and understand where you fit. Ultimately, accept that they might not want or need help!Here are some tips for college essay writing for parents to help you support your child in the process:

Empathetic support

Understand that writing college essays is a personal journey for your child. Respect their boundaries and provide emotional support. Let them know you're there for them, whether they want assistance or prefer to work independently.

Encourage they start early

Motivate your child to start early to avoid last-minute stress. Emphasize the importance of time management and planning to allow for thoughtful reflection and revisions.

Brainstorming assistance

Help your child brainstorm ideas by engaging in open and meaningful conversations. Encourage them to explore their passions, experiences, and values that could be compelling essay topics.

Provide direction, not content

Guide your child by asking thought-provoking questions and offering suggestions, but ensure they maintain ownership of their essays. Encourage them to express their unique voice and perspectives.[caption id="attachment_3113" align="aligncenter" width="857"]

Image by storyset on Freepik[/caption]

Research expert opinions

Look for credible resources or articles online that provide insights into the college essay process. Share helpful tips and advice from experts to support your child's understanding and approach.

Manage expectations

Discuss the importance of balance and realistic expectations. Help your child understand that the college essay is just one part of the application process and that their worth extends beyond their essays.

Provide resources

Share books, websites, or workshops that guide writing college essays. These resources can provide valuable tools and techniques to enhance their writing skills.

Celebrate accomplishments

Recognize and celebrate each milestone achieved during the essay writing process. Offer praise and encouragement to boost your child's confidence and motivation.

How can you provide guidance rather than content

Here are some ways you can guide your child without crossing the line into writing their college essays for them:

Prompt evaluation

Familiarize yourself with the essay prompts provided by the colleges or universities your child is applying to. Help them analyze and understand the expectations of each prompt, discussing potential approaches and angles they can explore.

Proofread for grammar

Offer to proofread your child's essays for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. By providing a fresh pair of eyes, you can help catch any mistakes or inconsistencies they might have missed.

Provide constructive feedback

Instead of rewriting their essays, provide thoughtful feedback that helps improve their writing. Focus on areas such as clarity of ideas, organization, coherence, and the overall impact of their essay. Encourage them to revise and refine their work based on your suggestions. Make sure to read essay writing tips to ensure this.

Advice for rejection letter season

A rejection letter for college is a formal notification sent to a student by a college or university informing them that their application for admission has been denied. It is disappointing for the student who hoped to secure a spot at that particular institution. Rejection letters typically provide a brief explanation or a generic response stating that the applicant's qualifications or fit for the college did not meet the criteria or competition for admission.

Validate their feelings

Receiving a rejection letter can be challenging for your child, and it's important to acknowledge their disappointment. Let them know it's okay to feel upset or frustrated, and assure them that their feelings are valid. Remind them that many successful people have faced rejection before finding their path to success.

Focus on the bigger picture

Remind your child that the college admissions process is just one part of their journey. Encourage them to reflect on their accomplishments, strengths, and the exciting opportunities ahead. Help them see that there are multiple paths to success and that rejection can redirect them toward a better fit for their future.

Explore other options

Use this opportunity to explore alternative colleges or universities that may better fit your child's goals and aspirations. Encourage them to consider different pathways, such as community colleges, transfer options, or gap year programs. Remind them that there are numerous opportunities to thrive academically and personally.

Celebrate future possibilities

Shift the focus from disappointment to excitement about future possibilities. Help your child envision new opportunities, new friendships, and new adventures that await them. Encourage them to stay positive, remain resilient, and embrace the journey ahead.

The big picture

In conclusion, navigating the college admissions process can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions for both parents and students. However, with the proper support and guidance, you can confidently help your child navigate this journey. Remember:

• Validate your child's feelings and provide empathy during rejection letter season.
• Remember the bigger picture, emphasizing that a single rejection does not define their future success.
• Explore alternative options and encourage your child to consider different pathways that align better with their goals.
• Celebrate the exciting possibilities and help your child maintain a positive outlook.

At Lessonpal , we understand the importance of personalized support during critical moments like the college admissions process. Whether your child needs help with essay writing, test preparation, or any other academic support, Lessonpal can connect you with experienced tutors to meet their needs.

Frequently asked questions

Is it okay to write about depression in a college essay.

It is acceptable to share an experience with mental illness, including depression, in a college essay. However, the key is to ensure that the essay effectively demonstrates how they’ve reflected, who they are as a person, and how this experience has shaped them into a strong candidate for that school.

What is the role of the college essay

The role of a college essay is to provide students with an opportunity to showcase their personal qualities, experiences, and perspectives to college admissions committees. It goes beyond academic achievements and test scores, allowing students to convey their unique voices and demonstrate their potential as a valuable addition to the college community. This guide to college essay writing for parents should help you support your child with this process.

College Essay Brainstorming: 4 Exercises to Think Outside the Box

Create a unique college essay with these 4 exercises. Don't miss out on crafting an impressive and memorable essay that’s sure to stand out. Dive into the world of impactful college essay topics by reading this article.

Nail Your Ivy League College Essay with These Helpful Tips

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The Parents’ Role in the College Essay

To the ever-under-appreciated parents of teenagers,

We know how hard it is to be parents. You’re walking a fine line between wanting what is best for your children and trying to let them make their own decisions (and, let’s be honest, their own mistakes). Your child will only apply to college once, and it can be difficult to know how to balance your parental instincts with letting your student take ownership of the process. The good news is that we are here to make your life a little easier by allowing you to take a step back while we harangue your child to help get him where he needs to be in the admissions process.

Let’s address what’s probably the most stressful part of our journey together: the college essays. We will tackle this in three parts: first, we will discuss how most kids approach their essays, how Passport Admissions works with your child on their essays, and the best role of parents in this process.

How Most Kids Approach the College Essay

Most seventeen-year-olds think, “What can I say that will make colleges accept me?” They write essays based on what they believe colleges want to hear. And as a result, most kids make crucial mistakes in their college essays.

Mistake #1 - Most kids brag too much in their college essays.

How many valedictorians apply to college? All of them. How many class presidents? All of them. How many team captains? You get the idea.

There is virtually nothing that kids can brag about that will sell themselves to an admissions office. When a student tries to brag about himself in his essay: a) it doesn't work, and b) the essay blends into the pile of all the other applicants who are trying to do the same thing.

Mistake #2 - Most kids write essays that look and sound the same.

A former admissions officer for UVA, Parke Muth, once compared the college essay to a Big Mac.  Not because the essays are tasty and not because they have layers (though it can be argued that the college essay, like the Big Mac, is hazardous to your health). No, the college essay is like a Big Mac, because no matter where you go, the essays look and taste the same. Thus, Muth coined the term McEssay to refer to the generic college essay.

McEssays typically fall into one of the following five flavors. You will want to avoid these topics at all costs.

• The hard work essay - "Being captain of the soccer team involved a lot of hard work, but I learned important lessons in leadership and perseverance."
• The family trip to Europe essay - "Going to France showed me just how different other cultures are."
• The summer program for gifted youth essay - "I am so fortunate to have been able to attend the National Youth Leadership Conference."
• The athletics essay - "We lost the championship, but we came together as a team."
• The saving the world through community service essay - "Building houses in Mexico was so rewarding."

We know these experiences have been meaningful to many of our students. But writing a McEssay makes a student blend in with every other applicant, so we have to find a unique topic.

Mistake #3 - Most kids polish all of the personality out of their essays.

Most students write their college essays by committee, seeking input and feedback from multiple teachers and parents, who - despite good intentions - will polish all of the life and personality out of the essay. Your teenager should sound like a teenager in his college essay. Consider the following excerpts:

"My nascent drum career began when I was twelve. Learning to play the drums was quite challenging at first, because I had little formal training and needed to learn more about rhythm and chord structure in order to contribute to my band. After rehearsing for innumerable hours, I eventually was able to keep up, but I still needed more help. I decided to get lessons to help improve my overall musical knowledge and particularly improve my music theory. In the end, the lessons paid off, and our band was better than ever."

"A band's drummer is the stupid one. He is the one paid not to write songs or to think, but to sit in the back and hit his instrument, as he is clearly far too idiotic to do anything more. I am a drummer, and while I like to think I am above this stereotype, I do sit in the back, behind all the “real musicians,” blissfully ignorant of ongoing deliberation over “What capo he needs to be in to be in the key of G”, perfectly happy that I understand none of it and absolutely satisfied with my lack of involvement, or responsibility to the band’s success. This being said, I am a good drummer, and when a musician needed a moron - I was a solid choice."

Which sounds like a high school student, and which like a parent? In revising an essay, it is crucial to keep the voice of the student and not to make it sound like it was written by a 40-year-old.

The Primary Purpose of the College Essay

The primary purpose of the college essay is to let the college get to know you and like you. That's it. When evaluating a college essay, we ask:

• What do we learn about you?
• Do we like you?
• Is it interesting?
• Is it generally free from grammatical and stylistic errors?

What role should parents play?

You know your kid a lot better than we do. We can't tell you exactly how much parental involvement will be the right amount for your student.

But we can at least share this insight about the college essays: the students who have had the most success have been the ones whose parents have been involved the least. Almost without fail, the students who have been accepted into their top choice colleges have been the ones whose parents have trusted their student to write great essays, helped their student only when asked, and otherwise stayed out of the process entirely.  And of course, these are the same families that seem to most enjoy the last year of their child living at home.

So there you have it. We hope that you are as excited as we are to help your student write the best essays she can write. Remember that we are not only experts on this stuff, but we really, really enjoy doing it. For us, editing is fun, and getting to know your student and his passions is what makes our jobs interesting and worthwhile.

If you have questions or want help with your college essay, schedule a free introductory meeting with one of our college advisors.

I taught college for almost a decade, and I want parents to stop forcing their kids into college. There are other options.

• Many of my college students told me they were in school because their parents forced them.
• Parents should know that not every kid needs to go to college.
• They can volunteer, take a gap year, go into trade work, or earn a certificate.

During my nine years of teaching college composition classes, I experienced a familiar student-teacher conversation on repeat. Students would confess to me — usually when we had a one-on-one about their plummeting grade — what was really going on. The overwhelming and overriding culprit of my students' college failures was their parents.

To be frank, many students were miserable. They had attempted to express to their parents that they didn't want to go to college, whether in the years leading up to high-school graduation or after starting college life . Their reasons were diverse. Students were unprepared, disinterested, or inadequately supported — be it financially, emotionally, academically, socially, or physically.

No matter the reason, I chose to listen to and believe my students, which is something their parents decided, for their own reasons, not to do.

Many didn't want to disappoint their parents. They were terrified of letting their parents know that money had been "wasted" or that they didn't fulfill their parents' own college dreams for their kids.

I wish I could have said to each of these parents that their child had other options.

Take a gap year

Yes, a gap year sounds incredibly privileged, but hear me out. Instead of parents hemorrhaging money or students going into debt for an education that won't end up in a degree and a job, a gap year could come with stipulations.

Those parameters could include the following: They must be employed part or full time , saving money, and working alongside a well-informed mentor to explore the next steps.

Nothing about a well-planned gap year is wasteful. Honestly, I rarely met a freshman who knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. Parents, give your kid some time and wiggle room to mature and consider their future.

Consider a trade

When someone has a plumbing emergency in their home, they summon the first available plumber and (usually) pay whatever the repair cost is — no matter the sum. Desperate times call for desperate measures. That proves there's money in trade work .

The trades are a way for kids who prefer a more hands-on career to become something that brings in a great income — be it a welder, electrician, cosmetologist, dental assistant, or culinary artist.

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Plus, they can usually start working earlier than their college-attending peers and accumulate less debt .

Look into community college

So many students told me their parents turned their noses up at the idea of their child attending a community college , and my question is: Why?

I attended a community college and eventually became a college teacher. Community college is cheaper, sometimes more conveniently located, and offers a less abrupt and extreme step between high school and a university.

Community colleges also can offer more of a community feel than a large university, meaning perhaps more comfortable social engagements for kids who tend to be more introverted or struggle with social anxiety disorder .

Volunteer work is also a great option

Volunteering allows young adults to try different fields without the pressure of knowing how to do the job.

The kid interested in veterinary medicine can volunteer at an animal shelter. The kid interested in becoming a librarian can volunteer to gather books, stock shelves, or staff author events at a local library.

Volunteering can have a lot of value, including showing the applicant's spirit on a résumé or school application .

Earn a certificate

A certificate is earned by someone who puts in hours to get an overview or a deep dive into a particular topic or skill set. Certificate programs can take as little as a few weeks, while others can take closer to a year or more.

Students can earn certificates or engage in short programs to become nursing assistants, massage therapists , court reporters, or web designers.

Some programs have minimum age requirements. This again gives the late teen a way to learn more about a certain topic or field to determine how interested they are in pursuing that as a degree and then a career.

These aren't the only post- high-school-graduation or post-GED options. The important thing is for parents to listen to their kids, understand their needs, and take a team approach, especially at this stage in their almost grown-up child's life.

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What Is a Capstone Project vs. Thesis

As students near the end of their academic journey, they encounter a crucial project called the capstone – a culmination of all they've learned. But what exactly is a capstone project? 

This article aims to demystify capstone projects, explaining what they are, why they matter, and what you can expect when you embark on this final academic endeavor.

Capstone Project Meaning

A capstone project is a comprehensive, culminating academic endeavor undertaken by students typically in their final year of study. 

It synthesizes their learning experiences, requiring students to apply the knowledge, skills, and competencies gained throughout their academic journey. A capstone project aims to address a real-world problem or explore a topic of interest in depth. 

As interdisciplinary papers, capstone projects encourage critical thinking, problem-solving, and creativity. They allow students to showcase their mastery of their field of study and demonstrate their readiness for future academic or professional pursuits.

Now that we’ve defined what is a capstone project, let’s discuss its importance in the academic landscape. In case you have short-form compositions to handle, simply say, ‘ do my essay for me ,’ and our writers will take care of your workload.

Why Is a Capstone Project Important

A capstone project is crucial because it allows students to combine everything they've learned in school and apply it to real-life situations or big problems. 

It's like the ultimate test of what they know and can do. By working on these projects, students get hands-on experience, learn to think critically and figure out how to solve tough problems. 

Plus, it's a chance to show off their skills and prove they're ready for whatever comes next, whether that's starting a career or going on to more schooling.

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What Is the Purpose of a Capstone Project

Here are three key purposes of a capstone project:

Integration of Knowledge and Skills

Capstones often require students to draw upon the knowledge and skills they have acquired throughout their academic program. The importance of capstone project lies in helping students synthesize what they have learned and apply it to a real-world problem or project. 

This integration helps students demonstrate their proficiency and readiness for graduation or entry into their chosen profession.

Culmination of Learning

Capstone projects culminate a student's academic journey, allowing them to apply theoretical knowledge to real-world scenarios. 

tackling a significant project or problem, students demonstrate their understanding of concepts and their ability to translate them into practical solutions, reinforcing their learning journey.

Professional Development

Capstone projects allow students to develop skills relevant to their future careers. These projects can also be tangible examples of their capabilities to potential employers or graduate programs.

Whether it's conducting research, presenting findings, or collaborating with peers, students gain valuable experience that enhances their professional readiness. 

Types of Capstone Projects

Capstones vary widely depending on the academic discipline, institution, and specific program requirements. Here are some common types:

What Is the Difference Between a Thesis and a Capstone Project

Here's a breakdown of the key differences between a thesis and a capstone project:

How to Write a Capstone Project

Let's dive into the specifics with actionable and meaningful steps for writing a capstone project:

1. Select a Pertinent Topic

Identify a topic that aligns with your academic interests, program requirements, and real-world relevance. Consider issues or challenges within your field that merit further exploration or solution. 

Conduct thorough research to ensure the topic is both feasible and significant. Here are some brilliant capstone ideas for your inspiration.

2. Define Clear Objectives

Clearly articulate the objectives of your capstone project. What specific outcomes do you aim to achieve? 

Whether it's solving a problem, answering a research question, or developing a product, ensure your objectives are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

3. Conduct Comprehensive Research

Dive deep into existing literature, theories, and empirical evidence related to your chosen topic. Identify gaps, controversies, or areas for further investigation. 

Synthesize relevant findings and insights to inform the development of your project and provide a solid foundation for your analysis or implementation.

4. Develop a Structured Plan

What is a capstone project in college without a rigid structure? Outline a comprehensive plan for your capstone project, including key milestones, tasks, and deadlines. 

Break down the project into manageable phases, such as literature review, data collection, analysis, and presentation. Establish clear criteria for success and regularly monitor progress to stay on track.

5. Implement Methodological Rigor

If your project involves research, ensure methodological rigor by selecting appropriate research methods, tools, and techniques. 

Develop a detailed research design or project plan that addresses key methodological considerations, such as sampling, data collection, analysis, and validity. Adhere to ethical guidelines and best practices throughout the research process.

6. Analyze and Interpret Findings

Analyze your data or findings using appropriate analytical techniques and tools. Interpret the results in relation to your research questions or objectives, highlighting key patterns, trends, or insights. 

Critically evaluate the significance and implications of your findings within the broader context of your field or industry.

7. Communicate Effectively

Present your capstone project clearly, concisely, and compellingly. Whether it's a written report, presentation, or multimedia deliverable, tailor your communication style to your target audience. Clearly articulate your research questions, methodology, findings, and conclusions. 

Use visuals, examples, and real-world applications to enhance understanding and engagement. Be prepared to defend your project and answer questions from peers, faculty, or stakeholders.

In wrapping up, what is a capstone project? It’s like the grand finale of your academic journey, where all the knowledge and skills you've acquired come together in one big project. 

It's not just about passing a test or getting a grade – it's about proving you've got what it takes to make a real difference in the world. So, if you ever need capstone project help , our writers will gladly lend you a hand in no time.

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What Is a Capstone Project in College?

How to do a capstone project, how long does a capstone project take to complete.

Annie Lambert

specializes in creating authoritative content on marketing, business, and finance, with a versatile ability to handle any essay type and dissertations. With a Master’s degree in Business Administration and a passion for social issues, her writing not only educates but also inspires action. On EssayPro blog, Annie delivers detailed guides and thought-provoking discussions on pressing economic and social topics. When not writing, she’s a guest speaker at various business seminars.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

• T. (2023, June 16). What Is a Capstone Project? National University. https://www.nu.edu/blog/what-is-a-capstone-project/
• Lukins, S. (2024, May 12). What is a capstone project? And why is it important? Top Universities. https://www.topuniversities.com/student-info/careers-advice-articles/what-capstone-project-why-it-important
• Capstone Project vs. Thesis: What’s the Difference? (2021, December 9). UAGC. https://www.uagc.edu/blog/capstone-project-vs-thesis-whats-difference

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