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August 16, 2021

Is it time to get rid of homework? Mental health experts weigh in

by Sara M Moniuszko

It's no secret that kids hate homework. And as students grapple with an ongoing pandemic that has had a wide-range of mental health impacts, is it time schools start listening to their pleas over workloads?

Some teachers are turning to social media to take a stand against homework .

Tiktok user @misguided.teacher says he doesn't assign it because the "whole premise of homework is flawed."

For starters, he says he can't grade work on "even playing fields" when students' home environments can be vastly different.

"Even students who go home to a peaceful house, do they really want to spend their time on busy work? Because typically that's what a lot of homework is, it's busy work," he says in the video that has garnered 1.6 million likes. "You only get one year to be 7, you only got one year to be 10, you only get one year to be 16, 18."

Mental health experts agree heavy work loads have the potential do more harm than good for students, especially when taking into account the impacts of the pandemic. But they also say the answer may not be to eliminate homework altogether.

Emmy Kang, mental health counselor at Humantold, says studies have shown heavy workloads can be "detrimental" for students and cause a "big impact on their mental, physical and emotional health."

"More than half of students say that homework is their primary source of stress, and we know what stress can do on our bodies," she says, adding that staying up late to finish assignments also leads to disrupted sleep and exhaustion.

Cynthia Catchings, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist at Talkspace, says heavy workloads can also cause serious mental health problems in the long run, like anxiety and depression.

And for all the distress homework causes, it's not as useful as many may think, says Dr. Nicholas Kardaras, a psychologist and CEO of Omega Recovery treatment center.

"The research shows that there's really limited benefit of homework for elementary age students, that really the school work should be contained in the classroom," he says.

For older students, Kang says homework benefits plateau at about two hours per night.

"Most students, especially at these high-achieving schools, they're doing a minimum of three hours, and it's taking away time from their friends from their families, their extracurricular activities. And these are all very important things for a person's mental and emotional health."

Catchings, who also taught third to 12th graders for 12 years, says she's seen the positive effects of a no homework policy while working with students abroad.

"Not having homework was something that I always admired from the French students (and) the French schools, because that was helping the students to really have the time off and really disconnect from school ," she says.

The answer may not be to eliminate homework completely, but to be more mindful of the type of work students go home with, suggests Kang, who was a high-school teacher for 10 years.

"I don't think (we) should scrap homework, I think we should scrap meaningless, purposeless busy work-type homework. That's something that needs to be scrapped entirely," she says, encouraging teachers to be thoughtful and consider the amount of time it would take for students to complete assignments.

The pandemic made the conversation around homework more crucial

Mindfulness surrounding homework is especially important in the context of the last two years. Many students will be struggling with mental health issues that were brought on or worsened by the pandemic, making heavy workloads even harder to balance.

"COVID was just a disaster in terms of the lack of structure. Everything just deteriorated," Kardaras says, pointing to an increase in cognitive issues and decrease in attention spans among students. "School acts as an anchor for a lot of children, as a stabilizing force, and that disappeared."

But even if students transition back to the structure of in-person classes, Kardaras suspects students may still struggle after two school years of shifted schedules and disrupted sleeping habits.

"We've seen adults struggling to go back to in-person work environments from remote work environments. That effect is amplified with children because children have less resources to be able to cope with those transitions than adults do," he explains.

'Get organized' ahead of back-to-school

In order to make the transition back to in-person school easier, Kang encourages students to "get good sleep, exercise regularly (and) eat a healthy diet."

To help manage workloads, she suggests students "get organized."

"There's so much mental clutter up there when you're disorganized... sitting down and planning out their study schedules can really help manage their time," she says.

Breaking assignments up can also make things easier to tackle.

"I know that heavy workloads can be stressful, but if you sit down and you break down that studying into smaller chunks, they're much more manageable."

If workloads are still too much, Kang encourages students to advocate for themselves.

"They should tell their teachers when a homework assignment just took too much time or if it was too difficult for them to do on their own," she says. "It's good to speak up and ask those questions. Respectfully, of course, because these are your teachers. But still, I think sometimes teachers themselves need this feedback from their students."

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Is it time to get rid of homework? Mental health experts weigh in.

It's no secret that kids hate homework. And as students grapple with an ongoing pandemic that has had a wide range of mental health impacts, is it time schools start listening to their pleas about workloads?

Some teachers are turning to social media to take a stand against homework.

Tiktok user @misguided.teacher says he doesn't assign it because the "whole premise of homework is flawed."

For starters, he says, he can't grade work on "even playing fields" when students' home environments can be vastly different.

Mental health experts agree heavy workloads have the potential do more harm than good for students, especially when taking into account the impacts of the pandemic. But they also say the answer may not be to eliminate homework altogether.

Emmy Kang, mental health counselor at Humantold , says studies have shown heavy workloads can be "detrimental" for students and cause a "big impact on their mental, physical and emotional health."

Cynthia Catchings, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist at Talkspace , says heavy workloads can also cause serious mental health problems in the long run, like anxiety and depression.

And for all the distress homework can cause, it's not as useful as many may think, says Dr. Nicholas Kardaras, a psychologist and CEO of Omega Recovery treatment center.

"The research shows that there's really limited benefit of homework for elementary age students, that really the school work should be contained in the classroom," he says.

For older students, Kang says, homework benefits plateau at about two hours per night.

"Most students, especially at these high achieving schools, they're doing a minimum of three hours, and it's taking away time from their friends, from their families, their extracurricular activities. And these are all very important things for a person's mental and emotional health."

Catchings, who also taught third to 12th graders for 12 years, says she's seen the positive effects of a no-homework policy while working with students abroad.

The answer may not be to eliminate homework completely but to be more mindful of the type of work students take home, suggests Kang, who was a high school teacher for 10 years.

"I don't think (we) should scrap homework; I think we should scrap meaningless, purposeless busy work-type homework. That's something that needs to be scrapped entirely," she says, encouraging teachers to be thoughtful and consider the amount of time it would take for students to complete assignments.

The pandemic made the conversation around homework more crucial

Mindfulness surrounding homework is especially important in the context of the past two years. Many students will be struggling with mental health issues that were brought on or worsened by the pandemic , making heavy workloads even harder to balance.

But even if students transition back to the structure of in-person classes, Kardaras suspects students may still struggle after two school years of shifted schedules and disrupted sleeping habits.

'Get organized' ahead of back-to-school

In order to make the transition back to in-person school easier, Kang encourages students to "get good sleep, exercise regularly (and) eat a healthy diet."

To help manage workloads, she suggests students "get organized."

"There's so much mental clutter up there when you're disorganized. ... Sitting down and planning out their study schedules can really help manage their time," she says.

Breaking up assignments can also make things easier to tackle.

"I know that heavy workloads can be stressful, but if you sit down and you break down that studying into smaller chunks, they're much more manageable."

If workloads are still too much, Kang encourages students to advocate for themselves.

More: Some teachers let their students sleep in class. Here's what mental health experts say.

More: Some parents are slipping young kids in for the COVID-19 vaccine, but doctors discourage the move as 'risky'

Why I Dislike Homework and How the Research Backs Me Up

This post may contain affiliate links.

Do your kids spend hours a night doing homework?

And I hate it– maybe even more than they do.

Seriously, I’d much rather that my kids get much needed down-time to: play, nap, read, run, swing, dance, twirl, build, create, draw, invent, or design.

Yet I sit inside with them, trying to pretend that I’m enthusiastic and supportive, helping them to stay focused, answering questions that come up. Ugh. (And don’t get me started trying to describe the melt-downs when you have a child with Sensory Processing Disorder and ADHD. Homework is that much more of a nightmare.)

Remember when I asked you on Facebook about homework? Most of you didn’t support homework either.

And to be clear, I didn’t care for homework as a fifth grade teacher either. My students rarely had homework unless they didn’t finish something in class. (Lesson to use your time wisely.) No homework meant that they could read, play, do sports, have family time . . .

The majority of research supports no homework. (So does common sense, one could argue, . . . at least, I’d argue anyway.)

what does the research say about homework and why I hate it

Homework Research

1. There is no evidence showing that early elementary homework is beneficial (Cooper, 1989 a; Cooper, Robinson & Patall, 2006) ASCD with the exception of some studies showing correlation on math tests. ( NCTM, 2008 )

2. Too much homework affects a child’s sleep. Lack of sleep negatively impacts brain function. ( Wolfson, 1998 )

3. Homework is detrimental to student achievement and makes children depressed. ( Australian Institute of Family Studies following 10,000 students )

4. Too much homework is not helpful to student achievement. ( Cooper, Civey, and Patall, 2006 .)

5. Mixed research showing homework developing good study habits – some research shows yes, some no. (Cooper, 1989a, Cooper, Robinson, & Patall, 2006) ASCD (Kohn, 2006 The Homework Myth.)

6. Time spent on homework for secondary students sometimes correlates to achievement but not with elementary students and not consistently for secondary. (Plude, Enns, and Broudeur 1994) NCTM and ( Maltese, and Fan, 2012 )

7. Many countries (Japan, Denmark and Czech Republic) with high test scores have instructors who assign no or little homework. (Mullis, Martin, Gonzalez, Kelly and Smith, 1998.)

You’ll find more research on two articles from which I learned the most and synthesize the homework research: Jane Bluestein’s blog and on ASCD .

Recommendations for Homework (if given)

While I’ll always believe that homework should be little to none, IF homework is assigned here are my recommendations.

Homework should:

– be able to be completed independently, without the help of an adult

– have been well-covered in class and is an opportunity to deepen knowledge

– promote mastery of a skill the student hasn’t yet mastered with an engaging task

– be clear and purposeful to the learner

– give students autonomy to learn a topic interesting to them

– be coordinated with other teachers so there isn’t an overwhelming amount

– be differentiated (considering different abilities of the learners, different modalities of learning, etc.)

I think less homework just makes sense.

But there’s the rub. What’s up with all the homework our kids are assigned?

What do you think?

Have you advocated for less homework in your child’s life? Or would you do so now that you know the research and know you’re not alone? Please elaborate in the comments.

Melissa Taylor, MA, is the creator of Imagination Soup. She's a mother, former teacher & literacy trainer, and freelance education writer. She writes Imagination Soup and freelances for publications online and in print, including Penguin Random House's Brightly website, USA Today Health, Adobe Education, Colorado Parent, and Parenting. She is passionate about matching kids with books that they'll love.

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40 Comments

[…] by Melissa Taylor, Imagination Soup Do your students spend hours a night doing homework? Mine do. And I hate it- maybe even more than they do. Most of the time they just do it and don’t complain. But I’m complaining! […]

I completely agree with your position about homework. I believe that this is a waste of time that children could spend with profit. After all, a person will become successful only if he do what he likes. Why should a child spend his childhood on stupid homework? Is it not better if he tries himself in different fields, and chooses what he likes. I would really like that when my child goes to school, homework was canceled, and my child could spend his free time on what he likes. Thank you for sharing this article!

Nowadays in Sweden they practice “homework-less” studying. The first results are pretty impressive! No psychological damages for children. Interviews showed that their attitude to school became more positive. We all have to practice it. No more senseless homework for kids.

thanks for sharing!

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Why I Love Doing Homework (Even If My Kids Hate It)

It’s an opportunity to walk alongside them as they commit to the work of learning.

By Saul Austerlitz

My kids call me the homework villain.

Every school-day afternoon, my two sons — the older is entering sixth grade, the younger second grade — return home and gather snacks before beginning the day’s homework tussle. They are tired and ready to play video games or to watch incomprehensible YouTube videos about video games. I ignore all complaints, offer up my trademark cackle and direct them to the index cards on our fridge listing the day’s homework: reading, math, writing and even — when I am feeling particularly villainous — Hebrew reading.

For 30 to 60 minutes every weekday, I dash among rooms in our apartment, adjudicating disputes, answering questions, trying and failing to find creative ways to say the same thing (“Sound it out!” “Check your work!”) for the ten-thousandth time. I try to patiently listen to my younger son read, for the 50th time, the same book about a trickster dad and his gardening shenanigans. Then I scuttle off to talk my older son through the steps for a tricky math word problem about dividing up shipments of pencils or deliveries of doughnuts. It is, without question, the most hectic hour of my day. I am some combination of substitute teacher, coach, drill sergeant and motivational speaker, cajoling, pleading and bargaining to get through another round of homework. Some days, the process is utterly lacking in drama; other days, I emerge feeling exhausted, as if I’ve performed my life’s most demanding labor.

I am thankful to be granted the opportunity to walk alongside my kids as they commit to the work of learning.

Homework has fallen out of favor with a new generation of parents and teachers. It is drudgery, they say, rote work that unnecessarily burdens children. These are fair criticisms, and I suspect that my kids might agree with them all.

But here’s the thing: I love homework. It provides me with a means to discover just what my children are spending their days learning, how that learning is progressing and how I might help. Each Monday evening this past school year, my older son and I would drag out our battered Hebrew-English dictionary, look up words from his Hebrew-language book about the life of Charles Darwin and record definitions on a notepad (how do you say “fossil” in Hebrew?). The effort was often draining, but as the year progressed, it was easy to see how much more confident my older son — and I, for that matter — had become when facing a page of Hebrew.

Like bird-watching or gardening, overseeing homework is a specialized and abstruse hobby.

The kids are tasked with solving problems, and I am tasked with solving the problem of how they can best solve problems. I enjoy the daily array of tweaks that teachers suggest — whiteboards, not scrap paper; the dining-room table, not the living-room couch — that help build a successful homework routine. For my older son, typing out his writing assignments in the Notes app on our family iPad best allows the words to flow; for my younger, a sharpened pencil and a spiral notebook with thick lines for his oversize letters serve best. I must also determine the precise amount of intervention that will help my boys learn most effectively.

I don’t love being the bad guy my kids jeer when I remind them that it is homework time once again. But I am thankful to be granted the opportunity to walk alongside them as they commit to the work of learning. I enjoy seeing them overcome the initial impulse that if something doesn’t come easily, it isn’t worth doing. I love bearing witness to the steady accretion of skill, until I notice that my younger son is suddenly reading fluidly, no longer requiring my assistance. I even enjoy the process of tweaking my older son’s math routine, again and again, until all the pieces — whiteboard, marker, dining table, checking your work — cohere. Getting to these moments requires that I remember my place: When do I insert myself, and when do I stay quiet? I was instructed by my younger son’s teachers to let him sound words out as he reads, rather than leaping in with the answer, and I oblige. These are questions, I belatedly realize, that are about more than just homework, questions I will undoubtedly return to again and again as my kids mature and they are required to solve their own problems — academic, social, emotional and moral.

I am not a teacher, but the question of what we can impart to our children is a profound one for any parent — perhaps especially so for Jewish parents like me, the grandson of a refugee forced to flee his country. My grandfather Joseph Austerlitz — whose face I see reflected in my older son’s — left Vienna in 1936, not long before the Nazi Anschluss. He never returned. The only thing he could take with him was his education. If, as his example taught me, we are guaranteed to keep only the things we have learned, I want to ensure that my children hold on to all they can. I want them not only to learn but also to value learning as essential to the nurturing of our individual and collective humanity. I want them to think of knowledge as a partial shield against the indignities, large and small, that life may fling at them. I hope that, after I am no longer there to play the villain, they will cherish their curiosity, guarding it against anything or anyone who might dull it.

Saul Austerlitz is a writer whose latest book is “Kind of a Big Deal” (Dutton, 2023).

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Everybody hates homework

by: Connie Matthiessen | Updated: September 26, 2023

Print article

Homework haters aren’t just kids — they’re parents, too. So says writer Bruce Feiler: “Heck, just drop the word into any conversation with families and watch the temperature rise,” he wrote in The New York Times .

Why does homework cause so much parental angst? I don’t think my parents hated homework — or ever gave it much thought. They jumped in if we needed help on a sticky math problem or a big science project, and once, when I left a school report on bird migration to the very last minute, my dad stayed up late to help me finish it — after giving me a lecture on procrastination. But overall they treated homework as our responsibility, and I’m certain it never caused them anxiety.

3 kids, 3 different homework styles

That was before tiger and helicopter parents , of course. Today, parents take a far more active role in their kids’ educational lives. Too active a role, in many cases. At a recent Back-to-School Night at an elementary school in a prosperous Bay Area suburb, one teacher told parents that she wouldn’t be assigning big homework projects . When a parent asked why, the teacher replied, “Everyone knows that the students don’t do those projects – their parents do.”

Even if parents don’t overdo it, most wonder about their role — and that’s where the anxiety comes in: Should I be doing more? Am I doing too much? Should I develop rules, or just make my expectations clear?

My three kids have three different homework styles. My oldest is efficient, but slap-dash: he finishes as much as he can at school, and dispatches the rest as quickly as possible, while hunched in an uncomfortable-looking position on the floor in a corner of the living room. My other son is highly distractible: he’ll stop mid-math problem to ponder the amazing cuteness of our cats, and then forget what he’s been doing. My daughter is a perfectionist so homework involves a lot of drama: tortured sighs, crumpled paper, and disquisitions on the idiocy of homework, her school, and education in general.

My role as a parent has been different with each child, too. Since my older son is satisfied if he produces the minimal viable homework product, I’ve tried to encourage him to put in more effort; thankfully, over time he got that message from his teachers (who he’s more apt to listen to), too. By high school, my middle son figured out his own system for avoiding distractions: he holes up in his room with headphones on until his homework is done. With my daughter, I’ve figured out that things go best when I ignore the homework hurricanes.

Hands off homework

Like my parents, I’ve learned to step out of the homework picture as much as possible. I make sure the kids set aside time for homework and make it a priority; create a comfortable, quiet, environment; provide snacks and encouragement. But I only intervene — sparingly — when asked. Actually, this what I try to do; I fail much of the time. As my kids can tell you, I’ve done plenty of reminding, cajoling, and straight up nagging over the years. In retrospect, I don’t think that did much good. It may even have been counterproductive: when he was a junior, my younger son told me, “When you remind me to do homework, it just makes me not want to do it.”

Even though I should know better, I still get caught up in homework dramatics. Just last night, I was making dinner while my daughter did her homework at the dining room table.

“Oh. My. God!!!” she shouted suddenly. She was doing her homework by candlelight (I don’t know why and didn’t ask). At first I thought her hair, or her homework, was on fire. I rushed into the dining room. She was sitting, burn-free, peering irritably into her computer.

“What happened?” I cried.

She gave me a pitying, What are you freaking out about? expression. “Nothing,” she said calmly. “Just a totally lame homework assignment.”

Homework habits that work

In the end, every family has to create their own homework system. What it looks like will depend on the age, temperament, and abilities of your child. Try to remember that homework shouldn’t be about the final product (or the final grade), but about the process itself, and the skills your child is learning along the way. As Dell’Antonia puts it, “…one of the most valuable traits for anyone in doing any job is the ability to put aside distractions and simply do the work, regardless of how much it appeals to you at any given moment.” To learn this lesson, your child may need to make some missteps, and even get a few bad grades — without nagging or a bailout from you.

Want to learn how other parents manage homework struggles? Dell’Antonia uses a timer to help her kids develop a homework habit, Philpott imposes stiff consequences when homework doesn’t get done, and Feiler offers a host of ideas from parenting experts . We’d love to know what works for you. (Particularly if you have a homework drama queen!)

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Tips To Help Teenagers Who Don't Like School

Middle and high school can represent a difficult time in a person’s life, which can lead many kids to say “I hate school!”.

This phase comes with changes in lots of different areas, and the pressure to fit in and achieve the success that many teenagers experience can make it even harder. There are a variety of reasons you may not like school, whether they’re social, academic, or otherwise, but there are almost always steps you can take to make your environment more manageable.

5 reasons you might not like school, plus five solutions to try

Depending on your age, you may still have several years of middle school or high school ahead of you. If you’re unhappy with a particular aspect, some of the following tips might be useful. Let’s take a look at common reasons teenagers don’t like school along with a strategy that may help improve each one.

1. You’re feeling overwhelmed

If school feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. Many teenagers find themselves with packed schedules. From classes and homework to extracurricular activities and even part-time jobs, many students want to escape back to summer. Add time for relaxation and hanging out with friends, and you might be fully booked. If what you have on your plate is truly too much, you might speak with your parents, a guidance counselor, or a therapist about what you may be able to reasonably cut from your agenda.

It may also help to try out some new organizational tactics. Keeping a physical planner can be helpful, since you can see your weeks and months at a glance so you can plan ahead. There are plenty of planning apps for your phone that are available, too. You might also try color-coding your materials for different classes, setting phone reminders for important dates and assignments, focusing on one thing at a time instead of multitasking, getting into a reliable routine, and getting enough sleep. These are all strategies that might help you keep things organized and running smoothly.

2. You hate getting up early

In general, teenagers need more sleep than the average adult because their bodies and brains are still growing. If you’re having trouble waking up during the semester anymore, it’s not your brother or sister’s fault--you may not be getting enough rest each night. Aiming for at least eight or nine hours is typically recommended. If you have trouble getting good sleep, you can try a few different strategies for establishing better sleep habits. Examples include going to bed and waking up at the same time every day and sleeping in a dark, quiet room that’s at a good temperature. It may also help to limit your screen time, especially before bed. Research suggests that more smartphone use correlates with poorer sleep outcomes in teenagers especially, so putting your phone down at least an hour or two before bed may be beneficial.

3. You have test anxiety

Test-taking can be a significant source of stress and anxiety for people at various types of schools, whether you find the source material interesting or not. Depending on your school district, most exams test knowledge in one, specific way, which can mean that people with different learning styles may need to improve regardless of their grasp of the subjects. There can also be a lot of pressure from teachers or parents associated with getting good grades. If test anxiety is making it hard for you to like school, there are a few things you can try. First, learning some deep breathing exercises may help you keep yourself calm and focused when going into an exam. Next, you could meet with a tutor who can evaluate your studying and test-taking habits and help you find ways to remember what was discussed in your lectures. Finally, you can ask your teachers for accommodations if you have specific needs around test-taking. They may be able to grant you extra time or let you take the test in a quieter setting.

4. You’re being bullied

According to the CDC, about one in five high school students report being bullied at public school in the past year, and about one in six reports being bullied online. Bullying is serious, and it can cause long-term fear and have a negative impact on you in both the short and the long term. That’s why seeking help is so important. According to stopbullying.gov , telling the bully to stop in a calm, clear voice can be effective in some cases. If you’re at risk for physical harm, however, walking away and finding an adult who can help is best. You may also want to speak with a teacher or counselor you can trust to help prevent future instances of bullying.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

5. You’re experiencing anxiety or depression

If you’re facing certain mental health challenges, it can be difficult to enjoy, do well in, or even go to school. At this age, anxiety can manifest as concerns about all kinds of things, from your academic performance, social life, and appearance to your future plans or family situation at home, to name a few. This combined with a poor diet full of junk food can point to symptoms such as trouble concentrating, irritability, sleep problems, recurring fears and worries, and extreme self-consciousness. When it comes to depression, symptoms in children and teenagers can include crying spells, feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, feeling easily frustrated, and low self-esteem. If you feel you may have a mental illness like anxiety or depression, there is help available. Doctors, a school counselor, or a licensed therapist can help you manage symptoms so that you can feel and function better at school and in other parts of your life.

No matter what grade you are in, facing all the challenges that middle and high school may offer can be difficult. However, you don’t have to do it alone. A therapist can listen, help to explain what is happening and provide you with a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can talk about what’s bothering you at school.

They can help provide you with a lesson for building self-confidence, decreasing anxiety, developing a sense of self, keeping yourself organized, and enjoying your budding sense of freedom. Talking about these topics with a professional can provide support and guidance for whatever you’re going through, and they may also identify and offer treatment for any mental health disorders you might be experiencing.

You can speak with a mental health professional in person or online. Research suggests that online and in-person therapy offer similar benefits, so you can choose the method that works better for you. If you’re interested in the online format, a virtual therapy platform may be worth considering. BetterHelp is one option for online therapy for those 18 and older. It will match you with a licensed therapist who you can speak with via phone, video call, and/or online chat from your house. TeenCounseling offers the same services but to those between the ages of 13 and 19, with parental consent.

Regardless of your age or the therapy format you feel most comfortable with, know that there is support available to you as you face whatever challenges you may have in front of you at school.

What do I do if I hate my school?

If you hate going to school, one of the first things to do is figure out why so you can talk to someone about it. Sit down and create a written list of the things you don’t like - and anything that you do - about going to school; it's important you can explain where your feelings come from as best as you can. Once you have a good understanding (or at least a start), consider talking to your parents about what is bothering you. Tell them why you hate school, what is being done to make you upset, and what you have already tried doing to correct it.

If your parents are unable or unwilling to hear your concerns, you should consider talking to another safe adult in your life. Teachers and school counselors are likely good choices. If you’re feeling a lot of anxiety about going to school , a counselor can help figure out how to best help you feel better at school and prevent difficult feelings from arising again. The most important thing to do is likely to reach out before feelings become overwhelming. School isn’t always fun, but you deserve to feel safe, and supported there.

Is it normal not to like school?

It is normal not to like school, especially in later grades. High school can be a highly stressful experience for any teenager, despite opportunities for socialization, sports, and fun extracurriculars. All of those may appear as strong benefits to adults, but the Yale Child Study Center found in a survey of high school students that nearly 75% of their feelings regarding school were negative, indicating that students carry a lot of dislike for their school experience. However, if a student wants to cry at the thought of going to school, struggles to wake up consistently, describes feeling hated, or can’t report any positive aspects of their education, it’s likely a more serious issue is underlying their dislike of school.

Is it normal for a 13-year-old to hate school?

It is normal for middle and high school students to dislike school sometimes, but a sustained hatred for school is likely rarer. A significant hatred of school may lead to school avoidance, wherein a student puts in considerable effort to avoid attending school at all. School avoidance, also called school refusal, is sometimes a sign of a deeper mental health concern.

Anxiety disorders can sometimes be the root cause, or a student may be experiencing a form of trauma related to a fear of attacks or imminent harm , along with other traumatic things that may happen. While it is certainly normal for a 13-year-old to dislike attending school occasionally or even frequently, a persistent hatred of school or school avoidance behaviors likely indicate that a deeper issue is contributing.

Is there a school phobia?

Until the mid-20th century, truancy (an unexcused absence from school) was treated universally as a matter of delinquency, meaning that students did not attend because they simply did not care about their education and preferred to engage in delinquent behavior. Around the early 1940s, researchers noted that many students avoided school due to factors defined by fear and distress, not delinquency. The term “school phobia” was coined during that time period to describe students who avoided school because of anxiety or fear.

The term “social phobia” has mostly been replaced by “school refusal,” which refers to school-avoiding behaviors , regardless of their cause. School refusal might occur because of a fear of failing a subject like math or reading, anxiety about socializing, avoiding exercise, bullying, or other reasons. The way school refusal is addressed varies considerably from case to case, often depending on how much school impacts the individual student. In situations where anxiety or fear are significant contributors, the student is likely experiencing what the original inventors of the term “school phobia” described.

Is school making kids depressed?

Schools can contribute to difficult feelings, and some school-based factors can increase the chances a student will be diagnosed with a mental health concern. For example, one study found that bullying or teasing at school can significantly increase the risk of depression, as can struggling in a certain subject or working to overcome a learning disability.

The stressful nature of school, a place where children and teenagers are expected to learn adult skills and begin to behave as adults, can also significantly impact a student’s mental health. However, resources like school counselors and mental health support groups are available to help struggling students. While school can contribute to depression, it is likely that those who are depressed at school also have other factors contributing to their mental state.

Do kids with Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) hate school?

Although evidence suggests that students with ADHD tend to struggle more in school than their peers , an ADHD diagnosis is not a guarantee that a student will hate school. Students will probably be more likely to dislike school if their ADHD is poorly managed or if their school is unaware of their diagnosis. They might find it challenging to hear and understand lengthy instructions, avoid staying in their seat, or fail to retain information from courses that do not interest them. Struggling to sit still or pay attention in every class (except maybe lunch) can create a significant mental load for students with poorly managed ADHD.

In contrast, students with well-managed ADHD whose caregivers have coordinated with the school likely find school significantly more preferable and less stressful. Elementary students usually need to rely on their parents to advocate for them, but older students should consider approaching a trusted teacher or school official in addition to their parents if ADHD is adversely impacting their education.

Is school too stressful for kids?

There is ongoing concern regarding the level of stress experienced by students in school, especially in later grades. Evidence suggests that high schoolers and college students are especially prone to stress-related effects due to the sudden increase (at most school districts in the United States) in responsibility and autonomy between grades eight and nine. Academic-related stress has been shown to increase the risk of substance use, dropout, sleep disturbances, and reduced academic achievement.

Do kids feel lonely at school?

Children and teens often feel lonely at school for several reasons. Students, especially younger ones, may not know how to socialize and interact with their peers. They might also feel anxiety about interacting with peers, or they may be experiencing depression, which commonly causes children and teens to withdraw from others . They may also feel as though they don’t fit in with others, perhaps because they are slower to mature. Parents and schools can help kids feel less lonely by encouraging them to interact with others, practicing social skills, offering clarification regarding social situations, and helping the child find friendships outside of school.

Can too much homework cause depression?

Evidence suggests that excessive homework can have several adverse effects , notably increased stress levels, health declines, and a loss of opportunities to engage in other extracurricular activities. Students often struggle to see the point of homework or resent that it has been assigned, which may further reduce the benefit of taking work home from school.

The health reductions associated with excessive homework, such as sleep deprivation and weight loss, are also associated with high stress and depression. Sleep disturbances alone can make it difficult for a student to get up in the morning to attend school, and that may be worsened by late nights completing homework. While homework itself probably isn’t the sole cause of a student’s depression, the stress it causes may be a significant contributing factor.

Headache In The Back Of The Head: Where It Comes From And How To Relieve It Medically reviewed by April Justice , LICSW
Improving Your Self-Confidence And Outlook As A Teen Medically reviewed by Elizabeth Erban , LMFT, IMH-E
Relationships and Relations

10 Reasons Why Students Hate Homework

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It’s no secret that students often hate homework. This hatred makes students benefit less from homework. But why do students hate homework?

There are a variety of reasons why students hate homework. First, completing assignments can often be a tedious and time-consuming process. Second, many students feel that they do not have enough time to complete their homework during the school day. Third, many students believe that their teachers assign too much homework. Fourth, some students find it difficult to focus on their homework when they are also trying to relax after a long day of school. Finally, some students simply do not enjoy doing homework.

These are just a few reasons. In this post, I have explored in detail some reasons why students hate homework to help you make it better for them.

Why is homework important?

The following are some reasons why homework assignments are important in your classroom.

1. Homework is an important tool for students to improve their grades.

Homework is an important tool for students to improve their grades. It can help them stay on track, learn new material, and build discipline. Getting a good grade on homework can help students build confidence, raise their self-esteem, and reduce frustration. They may also develop better study habits and set themselves up for success in college.

2. Homework can help students learn new material and improve their skills.

Homework can help students learn new material and improve their skills. Homework can also be used to motivate students and keep them on track. It is important for parents to set good examples for their children and help them with their homework.

However, parents should also remember that homework doesn’t have to be a burden. Homework can be fun and can help improve students’ time management skills and increase their ability to learn.

3. Homework can help students stay focused and motivated.

There are a few reasons why homework helps students stay focused and motivated in class. First, completing homework assignments can help students review and reinforce the concepts they learn in class. Also, completing homework assignments can help students stay motivated throughout the week. Completing homework assignments can help students take ownership of their own learning and improve their self-esteem. Therefore, homework assignments can give students a sense of accomplishment and boost their confidence. This further keeps students motivated.

4. Homework is an important aspect of education that helps students prepare for life in the real world.

Students have to stay on top of their studies in order to be ready for college, work, and other life experiences. Homework also gives students the opportunity to practice what they learn in class and allows them to prepare for tests. This prepares students for the real world.

5. Homework can help students learn how to study and stay organized.

Homework also helps students learn how to manage their time. Students who do homework can also get used to the amount of work they will have to do as a result of their studies. In other words, they get used to working hard. This can help them prepare for future life experiences.

Check out how to handle students who don’t do their homework here.

10 Reasons Students Hate Homework

Below are some reasons why your students may hate homework. Make sure to avoid them in order to help your students succeed.

1. It Assigns Too Much Work

It assigns too much work. Homework can be a huge burden for students and can often take up too much time. It can be difficult for students to get their work done, especially if they are struggling with it. This can lead to students feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, which can have negative consequences for their academic performance. Find out why you should give less homework here.

2. It Breaks Up the Family Dinner Schedule

One of the most common complaints from students is that their parents don’t have enough time for them. This can be caused by a variety of factors, but one of the most common culprits is homework.

Homework often takes up a lot of time in a day and interrupts the family dinner schedule. For many students, this means they are only able to see their parents during mealtime. This can be disruptive to the family dynamic and cause resentment.

There are also practical considerations to take into account when it comes to homework. Many students find that their schoolwork is easier if they have some uninterrupted time after school, which means that homework often gets in the way of getting some exercise or spending time with friends.

3. It Gets in the Way of Their Other Activities

One reason students may hate homework is that it gets in the way of their other activities. This can be frustrating, as many students want to spend their free time doing things they enjoy. Homework can also take up a lot of time, which could be better spent doing other things.

4. It Can Be Hard to Finish

One of the reasons many students hate doing their homework is that it can be hard to finish. This can be especially true when they have an assignment that requires a lot of research. In this case, students may not know where to begin or what they have to do. For example, if a student has to do research for an assignment, they may have no idea what to look for or where to begin.

5. They Don’t Understand the Instructions

Many students hate homework because it may be difficult to understand the instructions for the homework assignment. For example, unclear instructions on homework assignments can leave students struggling with how to tackle them. This can be frustrating and lead to negative feelings towards homework.

6. They’re afraid of failing if they don’t do their homework.

Students dread homework because they’re afraid of failing. For some, this is a legitimate fear. If you don’t do your homework, you could end up getting a low grade that will reflect poorly on your academic record and future prospects. For others, however, doing their homework is simply not something that comes naturally to them.

In these cases, it’s easy to give in to temptation and skip or ignore their homework altogether. This can have serious consequences, both academically and socially. Not only will students suffer from poor grades if they don’t do their homework, but they’ll also be less likely to get good jobs or admission into prestigious colleges if they’ve failed.

7. They Get Distracted by Social Media or Texting Friends.

One of the major reasons students hate homework is because they get distracted by social media or texting friends. Sites like Facebook and Instagram can be addicting, and it is hard for them to focus on anything else when they are constantly being pulled in different directions.

Some students even find themselves doing their homework in between classes or during class because they don’t have time to do it at home. This diversion from what should be a productive activity can really add up over the course of a semester.

8. They find it boring or dull.

They find homework boring or dull. Students often find homework to be a drag and a burden, rather than something that helps them learn. Homework can be difficult and time-consuming, making it difficult for students to get the most out of their education. Due to that, most students see homework as a boring activity. For example, some students may find it boring to write essays and other types of written assignments.

9. They Can’t Concentrate or Pay Attention to Details.

One of the main reasons students hate homework is because they can’t concentrate or pay attention to details. When they have to focus on a single task, it becomes incredibly difficult for them. Additionally, when details are important, students find it harder to pay attention. This can lead to mistakes and frustration.

10. The Penalties are too severe if they miss a deadline.

This is one of the main reasons students hate homework. If a student misses a deadline, they may have to suffer the consequences, such as having to do more work or having their grade reduced. This can be extremely frustrating for students who are trying to stay on top of their schoolwork, and it can lead them to dislike homework altogether.

In conclusion, homework is a source of frustration for many students. There are several reasons why students hate homework, including its negative impact on their mental and physical health, its negative impact on their grades, and its negative impact on their social lives. To make homework less frustrating for students, you should give students more time to complete it, allow them to work in groups, and provide feedback on their progress. In all, give less homework to your students if you want to help them benefit from it. Beware of the pros and cons of homework when using it.

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I Hate My Homework – How To Deal With It?

Let me start by saying that I hate homework! I hate homework so much that I’m beginning to think that I hate school too. That’s not a thought I want to continue having, not now, not ever.

I don’t like homework so, what can be done about it, i hate school so much ways to make school work fun, how to do homework fast even if you hate homework.

So, several months ago, I had a meeting with myself. I asked myself the questions below and tried coming up with honest answers that would help me speed up my homework.

Why do I hate homework? Why do we do homework? Why do people hate doing homework? How can I force myself to do homework?

Some answers, I found, were a bit personal, and some had nothing to do with you and me. But everything to do with the education system and how educators assume that high school and college kids spend their time playing video games instead of doing homework.

As a result, in their attempt to keep school kids productive and remind them about the importance of school, schools grade homework, making it mandatory for the kids to do the work.

If educators knew better, they would handle homework differently so that the kids that hate homework and school would learn a few tricks that can help them love homework and not hate school so much. There are many reasons hating homework is widespread and many think “I don’t want to do my homework.”

Here are only some of the things that they can do differently:

Most teachers believe that if they don’t grade it, a kid not doing homework will spend his or her time playing video games.

The truth is many kids don’t do homework anyway, and those that do don’t put in any effort or do it themselves.

Give students reason to want to do the homework by making them feel like they are making a difference in the world. For instance, I hate doing homework because in most cases it feels useless. So, encourage the students to brainstorm ideas on how to improve the environment instead of always asking them to write an assignment on topics like global warming or recycling.

If teachers want to increase students’ long term retention and stop seeing them hate homework, then they should encourage them to practice math problems.

I used to be slow when doing my math homework that each time I sat down to work, it felt like I was trying to ask a squirrel to do for me.

These methods are some out of many. Read one for more interesting methods that may also be useful in the classroom

Having a correct approach to school and homework is important for every teacher. “My students hate me” is a common thought. If only students could have the best school or college homework help out of class, but usually it is not so. Here are ways to avoid students hating homework:

Today, people are worried about this generation of kids: they’re always on their phones, on their TV and laptops playing video games, on social media talking to strangers, saying “I hate homework”, “I don’t want to go out”… they have no clue what is going on in the world.

If teachers want to save this generation of kids, they should introduce learning experiences that ask the students to be outdoors more often, study nature, or be more observant.

Interactions help kids learn how to be good people who can successfully connect with others.

What if homework remains the same? I mean, when no one does anything to make the situation any better and you still hate homework, do we stop doing it?

Remember, I said the answers to some questions were personal? Well, let me share how they helped me come up with a routine that helps me do my homework fast even if I hate homework. This routine can help you do the same too!

Let’s dive in!

Make Yourself a Study Snack After a long day at school, the first thing I usually do when I get home is making myself a little study snack to fuel my brain and get ready to do my homework. But other times, if I’m pretty hungry, I go for something more substantial like a protein smoothie or a sandwich. After I’ve made something to eat, I head over to my study. It’s time to get serious and tackle that homework now.
Create a Homework Plan The first thing I do is get out of my diary and see what sort of work I have for the week. Sometimes I gotta even remind me to do my homework. I then go over to my homework plan, a simple whiteboard I have in my room that helps me organize my study sessions into tiny tasks that I can handle, one after the other. So, even if you don’t fancy the idea of a snack, I implore you to have a homework plan; it’s the one thing that will show you how to force yourself to do your homework. In your homework plan, write down all of the tasks you have for homework and then order it according to their level of priority before getting started. Doing this will help you focus on the most critical and urgent work.
Reward Yourself for All the Hard Work Rewarding yourself for all your hard work can affect your level of motivation and help you stay on track throughout your studies, forgetting that you hate doing homework. So, I like writing down the rewards I can give myself. I’ve found that spoiling yourself can prevent you from getting burnt out or feeling stressed and restless from all the work you need to complete.
Clear Your Desk Do not have too many things on your desk while you are studying. My mom always encourages my sister and me to have the necessities so that we can work better and be able to focus on one task at a time without getting distracted. As a result, I like to have the textbooks I need for that subject, my laptop, and class notes. But something else I recommend having and that I always try to have on my desk these days is a jug of water or just a bottle of water because it will remind me to drink and stay hydrated.
Set a Timer In the past, I was plodding when it came to doing homework. Not only was that time consuming, but it was tiring too. I could spend almost an hour on a single math problem! But when I started doing my homework using this strategy, I discovered that setting a timer on your phone helps in writing your homework fast. I found that working in 25 to 30-minute blocks and then taking a five to 10-minute break is most effective when it comes to staying focused and working effectively. I tend to use my breaks to either make a cup of tea because I find it calming or drink something that requires me to get up and out of my desk so that I don’t start to get restless.
Write Down Questions After my short break, I go back to my desk to continue with my homework. As I do that, I like to write down questions as I go. The reason for this is that when I write my questions down, I don’t tend to ruminate on things, and I feel confident that my teacher can answer my questions when we meet. Writing down questions can get you into the habit of being organized.
Cross Out Your To-Do As You Go Whenever I work through my list of tasks, whether it’s homework or other to Do’s, I like to tick them off or cross them out as I go. I find this useful for increasing my motivation because I can see how far I’m getting. Ticking tasks off my list is also useful for helping me keep track of the workload and see how efficient I’m being.
Make a New To-Do List for Tomorrow I learned this concept from my psychology teacher; he taught me that as I get closer to winding up my study session, I should use the last few minutes to finish up what I’m doing and make a note of what I still need to complete the following day. I love this approach because it helps you to ease out of your study sessions gradually, and you are also less likely to stop midway through a task just because the timer went off.

Tired Of Homework? Try A Writing Service

In conclusion, teachers should find a better way to help us love homework and school. However, if they don’t do anything, we should all find our little ways to force ourselves to do our homework even if we hate doing it. But there are other options if you don’t want to do homework. One is to use our fantastic writing service and homework help service. Now you have someone to do homework for money ! Our writers are native English experts that will provide fast and high quality work at a cheap price! Your professor or teacher will give you top marks, so no more failing grades.

The New York Times

Motherlode | i hate homework. i assign it anyway., i hate homework. i assign it anyway..

I hate — hate — homework.

I hated homework when I was a student, I hate the battle of wills I have with my second-grader and I hate seeing my middle-school-age son miss out on the afternoons of his childhood.

But most of all, I hate being a hypocrite. So it’s time to come clean: I am a teacher, and I assign homework.

I have always assigned homework because that is what teachers do; if I didn’t, word would get around that I am a pushover, or don’t care enough about my students to engage their every waking moment with academics. When I first started teaching, I assigned homework liberally and without question, and scoffed at my students’ complaints about their workload. I expected them to keep quiet, buck up and let me do my job.

But 13 years later, I find myself at a crossroads. My son Ben is in middle school, and homework is no longer an abstract concept. I can’t just assign it and forget it, and I will no longer sacrifice my students’ right to their childhood so easily.

I am not the only parent — or teacher, for that matter — questioning the value of homework. It’s the subject of heated debate in school meetings and Internet chat rooms across the country. Even elite private schools in New York City are vowing to lighten their homework load .

The popular media tempest surrounding homework formed in 2006 with the publication of two books on the subject: “The Homework Myth,” by Alfie Kohn, and “The Case Against Homework,” by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish, followed by Time Magazine’s The Myth About Homework by Claudia Wallis. Last year, Vicki Abeles’s documentary “Race to Nowhere” joined the fray. In her film, Ms. Abeles claims that today’s untenable and increasing homework load drives students to cheating, mental illness and suicide.

So is homework worth it or not? I went directly to the source. I asked my students whether, if homework were to completely disappear, they would be able achieve the same mastery of the material. The answer was a unanimous — if reluctant — “No.”

Most echoed my son Ben’s sentiments: “If I didn’t have homework, I don’t think I’d do very well. It’s practice for what we learn in school.” But, they all stressed, that’s only true of some homework. “Bad” homework — busy work and assignments that don’t do anything but eat up precious evening hours, is (as one of my more opinionated students put it) “a stupid waste of my time.”

Fair enough. If my students feel that quality homework is worth the effort, I’m keeping it. With one caveat. All assignments must pass the “Ben” test. If an assignment is not worthy of my own son’s time, I’m dumping it. Based on a quick look at my assignment book from last year, about a quarter of my assignments won’t make the cut.

Children need time to be quiet, play, read and imagine. Teachers who sacrifice these vital elements of childhood for anything less than the most valuable homework assignments are being derelict in their duty to their students and the teaching profession.

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School Stuff
Dealing with Teachers

How to Deal With a Teacher You Dislike

Last Updated: April 30, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Katie Styzek . Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards. This article has been viewed 181,866 times.

We all have a teacher we don't like at some point, and it can be super discouraging and frustrating. Fortunately, in most cases, you can make some adjustments to help you deal with your teacher and get through the school year without too much trouble. In more serious cases, you might need to sit down and have a conversation with your teacher, your counselor, or your parents.

Talking It Out

For instance, if you think your teacher is too harsh of a grader, you might want to ask for some tutoring or study tips. If she speaks too quickly, find an appropriate time to talk to the teacher and kindly ask if she could speak slower because you've been having trouble understanding.
If there's something going on in your personal life that is affecting you at school, let your teacher know about it. She may be much more understanding of your behavior if she understands where it's coming from.
Only talk to your teacher about things that can be changed. It might help to have a conversation about comments on your homework that you don't understand, but it will not be productive to tell your teacher that you think she's mean and unfair.
Instead of just blaming the teacher for the problem. show that you're willing to work together to fix it.

In some cases, your counselor might have a talk with you and your teacher or might recommend that you be reassigned to another class, but don't go into the meeting expecting these results.

It may help to have your parents help you write down a list of things you dislike about your teacher. This can help you figure out what you can talk to the teacher about.
If it has gotten to the point that you feel you are unable to manage the situation with your teacher, you can ask your parents to have a meeting with her. If that doesn't go well and your parents believe that your teacher is being unreasonable, they can go to the principal or superintendent.

Step 5 Choose reassignment as a last resort.

Keep in mind that conflict resolution is a very important skill. You will be depriving yourself of learning how to deal with tough situations if you request a reassignment without trying to work things out first.

Making the Best of the Situation

Step 1 Separate the teacher from the subject.

If you're struggling with a subject, ask your teacher for extra help or get a tutor. Once you understand the subject matter a little better, you might find that your teacher really isn't so bad after all.
Try to find something that interests you about the subject and focus on that as much as possible. If you have the option to choose your own reading or research material, make sure it's something that interests you enough to keep you engaged in the class. [7] X Research source
Remind yourself that even if you don't like a certain subject, your grade is still important. Stay focused on doing your best, even if you don't think you'll ever use anything you learned in this class in the real world. [8] X Research source

Be proactive about making up missed work and letting your teacher know if you will be missing school.
Don't suck up too much. This will not seem genuine.

Remember that you don't have to like your teacher in order to learn from him/her. As long as you are still doing well in the class, do your best to deal with your teacher.
If the problem is affecting your grade or causing you to dislike school, it may not be worth it to just stick it out.

Community Q&A

Try to pay attention, no matter how hard it is. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
The most important thing is to find a way to communicate positively with a teacher. Get your adviser, parents, or counselor involved if you don't feel you can handle the situation on your own. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Try to deal with the problem when it first appears. The longer you wait to address the issue, the worse things will get. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

If you ever experience verbal or physical abuse from a teacher, report it to another adult right away. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/school/teacher_relationships.html#
↑ Katie Styzek. Professional School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
↑ http://blogs.castleton.edu/castleton-trio/dont-like-your-class-or-your-teacher-heres-how-to-succeed-anyway/
↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201512/4-ways-deal-people-who-just-aren-t-very-nice
↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/bad-teacher/

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My son hates doing homework, and I struggle to help him. Education experts say I need to give him more freedom so he can excel.

My son doesn't like to do homework after a long day of school.
I also get worried about helping him because I learned to do the work a different way years ago.

We're more than three months into the school year, and even though we have our school-year routines established, there's still one contentious spot in my household: homework. My son is in fourth grade; he's been doing homework since he was in kindergarten and we still argue about it.

I guarantee that at least one or two nights a week, he'll give me a hard time about doing homework . He needs a break when he gets home from school, so he doesn't immediately get to work — but without fail, he will grumble about it at 7 p.m. even though he does his homework at the same time every school night.

To make homework time easier for both of us, I sought expert advice.

I've always had a complicated relationship with homework

When I was a kid, homework felt like such a chore, especially in subjects where I didn't feel as academically confident — such as math or science . I'd get home from a full day of learning, and then my parents expected me to sit at the kitchen table and work for two or more hours on the same work I'd been doing all day. If it was a subject I'd mastered, homework felt like a waste of time. But if it was a subject I struggled with, homework felt like torture.

Now that I'm a parent, I sometimes wonder why kids even need homework in the first place. After a long day of school and after-school activities, I think my kid needs a break.

But Janine Bempechat, a clinical professor at Boston University's Wheelock College of Education & Human Development, said homework is useful for a child's education.

"Homework can be a powerful tool to reinforce learning and to provide children with all-important opportunities to practice newly acquired or acquiring skills," Bempechat told Business Insider.

Still, I struggle with how to help my son during homework time

We recently had parent-teacher conferences, and my partner and I admitted to my son's teacher that we often feel out of our depth because sometimes we teach him the way we learned math as kids, but fear that's somehow messing his education up.

As much as I fundamentally understand my child's math worskheets, all that logic goes out the window the minute he calls me over to help. I must steel my nerves, mentally putting on armor before I walk over to the kitchen table to help.

Jennifer Alfaro, a mother and the assistant principal of instruction at Camino Nuevo Charter Academy in Los Angeles, said she understands that parents get stressed and confused when trying to help.

"With Common Core, math strategies are different and so parents feel like they cannot help students because they do not want to confuse the student," Alfaro told BI.

Her words felt validating as a parent. Standards have changed since we were in school, and it's easy for even the most present parent to feel left behind by the way schools now teach the same concepts.

But I learned homework doesn't have to be stressful — for me or my kid

Bempechat stressed the importance of creating healthy habits from the beginning to give kids a routine and listening to them about where and when they feel most comfortable doing their homework.

Giving my son the freedom to choose where he does his homework has greatly improved his desire to do it. He likes to sit at a table to write, but when he's reading, sitting on the couch or in his room helps him feel more comfortable.

His school doesn't have strict rules about writing utensils for homework, so he likes to use colored pens to make it more exciting. He has a pen with multiple color inks, and he'll rotate through them during the week. It's a small win, but I'll take it!

Snacks while doing homework also make it more appealing for him. Young minds need fuel, so letting him eat a bowl of pretzels or some Doritos makes homework time go more smoothly — if he doesn't get orange dust on his worksheets.

Alfaro also gave some direct feedback for parents who may feel stressed and overwhelmed with helping our kids with homework: "Just be present for students so that they feel supported."

For those of us who struggle to keep up with the changing landscape of homework, she shared that "telling students that they might not know exactly how the teacher taught something but that they can help them" is a way to alleviate some of that stress.

Unfortunately, homework isn't going anywhere, as much as some of us wish it would. We need to look at homework as more than a necessary evil and as a way for parents to be an active part of our kid's education.

What to Do When Your Child Hates School

School negativity can be evidence of a healthy brain..

Posted July 18, 2010 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

It helps motivate children to exert effort when they believe it will pay off.
When children's brains develop school negativity, it is usually the result of an effort-preserving mindset.
One challenge for parents is to reconnect their children with the joy of learning.

If your child hates school, it is probably not his fault, nor that of his teacher, but rather it can be evidence that his brain is functioning appropriately.

Healthy brains protect their owners from perceived threats. School today is stressful , and often threatening, as a result of the high-stakes standardized testing that challenges students, teachers, and school administrators. There is so much information mandated as required "knowledge" for these tests (that determine federal funding), that for many children, school seems more like a feedlot force-feeding them facts without adequate time or resources to make them interesting or relevant.

Overstuffed Curriculum

Without the projects and group activities — to say nothing of the elimination of art, music, P.E., and often elementary school science, social studies, and even recess — why should a child want to be there? These classes and many enjoyable activities have been sacrificed so there is more time for the two subjects that are evaluated on those tests — math and English.

Fortunately, there are many wonderful, creative, and dedicated teachers, consultants, and administrators on the front line every day doing all they can to engage their students. Without them, I cannot imagine how much worse things would be for the children in their charge.

The problem is worst when the district is required to stick to a rigid "teacher-proof" curriculum that dictates tedious days of worksheets and nights of the same brain-stuffing. In these cases, the best teachers have less opportunity to use their skills to create the joyful, memorable learning experiences children need.

The penalty for all of us is that the dropout rate has never been higher. For today's high schoolers, it is more likely that their parents will have graduated than it is that the students themselves will graduate high school. When surveyed as to the reason for the dropping out, the overwhelming cry is boredom . When asked what constitutes boredom, the two major responses are: "The material isn't interesting" and "What we are taught has no relevance to me."

From my perspective as a neurologist and classroom teacher, I see blank faces, "acting out," and zoning out, and I know that these are not the children's choices. The brain evolved as an organ to promote the survival of the animal and the species. Its first priority is to avoid danger. Our attention is hard-wired to alert us to signals of potential danger. The most primitive parts of the brain are those that determine what gets our attention and what information gets priority entry into the brain.

This attention system is essentially the same in humans as in other mammals. When the brain experiences stress, that attention system is on autopilot, seeking out the potential threat that might be causing the emotional disturbance, while ignoring other sensory information, such as lessons.

Stress goes up with boredom and frustration in humans and animals. Animals restrained or understimulated "misbehave" with aggressive, destructive, and even self-mutilating behavior. The stress causes their brains to attend only to imagined or real threat. In that state, behavior is no longer influenced by the higher, thinking brain. Stress takes control of the neural pathways that determine where information is processed and where behavior is controlled.

The same responses take place in the human brain. If children are stressed by boring lessons that have little personal relevance, or by the frustration of not keeping up with the overloaded curriculum, their brains do what they are programmed to do: Input is diverted away from the thinking, higher brain (the prefrontal cortex) and sent to the lower, reactive brain. In this situation, in humans as in animals, the involuntary behavioral reactions are essentially limited to three responses: fight, flight, or freeze.

The reason I left my neurology practice and became a teacher was that I had a profound increase in the children referred to my practice by teachers who suspected they had attention or other neurological disorders that caused them to "act out" or "zone out" in class.

When I observed the joyless force-feeding of facts by teachers who were given the impossible task of cramming test material into these young brains, my heart went out to both the students and their teachers. I joined their ranks and made correlations between neuroscience research about stress, attention, behavior, and memory. I spent 10 years in my classrooms implementing strategies to promote the neuroscience of joyful learning.

Parents Need to Be Brain Preservers

Your challenge as a parent is to reconnect your children with the joy of learning. You can make a difference in how they relate to school and even reverse their brains' reflexive reactions. The key is to build bridges.

You can reduce your child's automatic reaction to the boredom and frustration of school and homework by linking your children's positive emotions to their one-size-fits-all classrooms. You can enrich and expand your children's learning experiences and help them be more successful on tests and other school assessments. More importantly, you can revive the love of learning and discovery that was present when they started kindergarten.

How to Build the Bridges for Your Child's Safe Passage Across Troubled Waters

The intervention you can provide is to connect your children's classroom studies to their interests. Help them find personal relevance that busts the stress and opens up the neural pathways to their upper, intelligent brains, where true learning and creative thinking take place.

You can use strategies with your children at home to reverse school negativity and promote the mindset your children need to regain in order to sustain a positive attitude about themselves and school. With this outlook and reversal of negativity, their brains will be more receptive to attentive focus and memory-making, both during class and homework time.

The success your children will see from their effort will promote new neural pathways, helping them to respond to learning more efficiently. They'll also more efficiently store what they learn in their long-term memory . Finally, they will retrieve the information not only for the test but for the challenges and opportunities that await them in the 21st century.

The key to this process is to connect your children to what they learn at school through their interests and past positive experiences, so they will WANT to learn what they HAVE to learn.

Looking Inside the Brain

Neuroimaging studies reveal the real-time metabolic and structural changes in the brain that occur when newly learned information is retained in memory storage areas. We know from these studies that memory storage activity pumps up when the new information is related to prior knowledge, personal interest, and positive emotional experiences.

Similarly, each time your children focus their attention, this activates their neural pathways for alerting and focusing, making those neural circuits stronger. As a result, it increases their ability to pay attention and focus. Most certainly, they'll need this strengthening of attentive focus if they are to learn from lengthy and tedious time spent on drill-and-kill activities at school. Little mental energy may be left when they come home and are required to do more repetitive drill work, especially with the lure of their video games, laptops, social networking , and television.

Practicing these processes of active learning for long-term memory is like exercising a muscle. The neuronal circuits involved become more developed because of their repeated activation through the process of neuroplasticity.

Each time a memory is activated — especially when one memory network is activated in connection with another, related memory circuit — the networks become stronger, more accurate, and extensive. Repeated linking of related memories with new learning is like brain glue. The new information increasingly grows more linking connections (dendrites, synapses) every time the new and prior memory are used together for a new purpose.

An example would be activating the memory of family camping trips to link with the new learning about the settlers traveling across the country in covered wagons. When you help your children link the new learning about the settlers with that long-term stored memory of family camping trips, the school-based social studies lessons grow more dendrites that carry information between neurons that hold the memories. Now, the neuroplasticity links are like mental Velcro. When your children want to remember facts about the social studies lesson for a test, recalling the camping trips retrieves the associated information they need to answer the test questions.

Brains Keep Track of Effort That Does or Doesn't Pay Off

It helps motivate children to exert effort when they believe it will pay off. Why? The brain evolved for survival. Survival is served when the brain evaluates the likelihood that effort will produce a payoff. The brain is wired to remember the outcome each time it evaluates a situation (challenging test question, confrontation by a classmate, choice of studying or playing, decision to pay attention to a lecture, whether to try out for a team) and predicts whether effort will pay off.

There is a special structure in the brain where its only job is to squirt pleasure-evoking dopamine into the prefrontal cortex (the place where past memories are activated to make the prediction) when a prediction (i.e., choice, answer, social response, decision to put in physical effort, prediction that doing homework is a better choice than playing) is found to be accurate.

This accumulated information about the predictions made and the results is used by the brain in animals and humans, to evaluate new, similar situations when effort is called for. A fox that tried chasing a rabbit up a steep hill, exerting effort and using valuable energy stores in the chase, only to be outrun by the rabbit, keeps a memory of that prediction. The fox builds a memory network that the effort exerted failed to produce the predicted result. A few more such failed attempts and the fox's brain builds a more and more accurate memory network to better survive. It now uses that network to predict whether to exert effort based on previous experience relative to the steepness of the hill and distance from the prey. The fox now will not extend effort if this network predicts that chasing the rabbit up a steep hill is unlikely to be successful.

When children's brains develop school negativity, it is usually the result of the effort-preserving mindsets constructed by unsuccessful prior efforts. Through a past history of failed efforts — past efforts to sustain attention in class, do homework carefully, persevere at challenging classwork — that did not result in success, children's brains learn to automatically resist putting mental effort into subsequent similar activities.

Children who are quite intelligent can have difficulty with rote memorization. Yet, since that memorization is what is tested and therefore perceived by students as valuable, they develop the belief that their failure to sustain attention in class or to get high grades on rote memory tests means they are unintelligent and don't have the ability to succeed. That mindset is not only inaccurate, but when taken on by your child, means the positive effort-to-goal neural patterning becomes more difficult to develop.

Preheat Your Child's Memory Networks

Connect their brains to the topics they will be studying at school by looking at photos or videos of family trips, objects they own that were made in countries they study, or reading favorite stories that relate to topics in science, history, and math. The curiosity prompted by your reminders of their past experiences and current interests is a brain bridge ready to link with the information they must learn for school. The Velcro is now waiting in their brains, and their neural circuits are prepared to grow the dendrites that will physically link the new information with their permanent memory circuits. Additionally, they now have the interest and positive mindset to want to know what they have to learn.

Also, you'll further preheat the memory links to connect their interest to school work when you ask your children questions that help them personally connect these stories, past experiences, possessions, or their interests to the current or upcoming school topics. Stimulate curiosity in your children so they want to discover answers and solve problems. Their brains remain attentive because they are personally interested in the answer to the question.

Stimulate curiosity in your children related to school topics, and then work with them as they learn how to discover answers to their curiosity-motivated questions. You will not only be increasing positive school topic connections, but also help them develop critical thinking skills and other frontal lobe executive functions as they analyze information (from their memories, books, the internet, and from you) to answer their questions.

Their brains are attentive because their curiosity generated their question. As they learn to focus attention on and evaluate which information is pertinent to answer their questions, they build their highest thinking skills such as analyzing, organizing, and prioritizing.

Thanks to your connecting school topics with their interest by engaging their curiosity, their brains get a jump start on information processing skills that will promote success in academic, social, and emotional challenges and opportunities throughout their lives. When children are motivated by curiosity and interest to ask and then find answers to questions, their brains build skills of prediction, deduction, expanded thinking, analysis, and the ability to distinguish fact from opinion, make judgments, and support their own opinions or ethical beliefs. These are rather nifty side benefits from promoting your child's curiosity about school topics and reducing school negativity.

Preparing to Be a Brain Coach

You may need the curriculum in advance from your child's teacher, but more likely, the teacher will be required to follow the textbook in a strictly sequential manner. As long as you know what material will be studied in the next class unit, you can find ways to bring it into active discussions at home, in the car, or while waiting in line at the grocery checkout.

You might want to have a handy note card with a supply of open-ended questions that are good bridges to link your children's interests to many topics. These can be cues for how to relate things you experience together to school topics.

If your child is interested in sports, a question on your list might be, "If you were the coach of a [...] team how would you use [...] to help your team win?" The first blank would be their favorite sport or the name of a favorite team. The second blank would be the related school topic (gravity, averaging, multiplying, vocabulary words, inventions, or qualities evident in characters from their school literature books).

If your children learned about taxation without representation in American history or percentages in math, you can show them the grocery bill and ask their opinion of the tax added to the total. How was the number calculated? Can they estimate what percent of the total bill the tax represents? Is it fair to have tax?

If your child likes skateboarding and the city council voted down the proposed skateboard park, there is an opening to discuss if the decision was fair. How does the current system work? How do these council members represent what you want? Should children vote? Should people who pay more taxes have more say in how tax money is spent? All of these questions can be linked to topics in history such as the Revolutionary War (taxation without representation), the Civil War, poll taxes, and voting rights for former slaves and women—which came first and why?

Discussions you promote to bridge your children to their school work will serve as stronger memory cement if you are an active, attentive listener when they express their ideas or ask questions. This is not the time to split your focus. To keep them motivated, your children need to know you are truly interested in their ideas and opinions.

Negativity Turns to Motivation

The knowledge gained from brain research, when applied to learning, can help you energize and enliven your children's minds. You can help them build life skills such as improved memory, focus, organization, and goal setting. Using your knowledge of your children's interests, past enjoyable experiences, and learning strengths to bridge their interest to school subjects will result in their improved attitudes, motivation , perseverance, and ultimately their increased confidence that their efforts will pay off.

Your interventions will help your children avoid the learning turn-off to the challenges of today's fact-heavy, meaning-light curriculum. You will help them construct the brain circuits to become lifelong learners who can transfer and apply what they learn to real-world situations.

The results will more than offset your planning and preparations. Smiles will replace groans and eye-rolls when you use neuroscience to return the joys of learning to your children.

Judy Willis , M.D., is a board-certified neurologist and middle school teacher, specializing in classroom strategies derived from brain research.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

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If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

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By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not. Middle school syndrome is the worst. Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail. I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest. It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up. I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way. Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever. They didn't even get an ounce of this. Very very frustrating. And I wish I have never invited video games to this household. That is all they want to do. I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits. Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career. I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel. It is very hard too when you don't get any help. I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents. Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home? okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care. He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes. He is totally the same! They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative. They are so insanely smart. I worry about exactly the same thing. They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami). It made a huge difference in the short-term. They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son. The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us. He is like the Borg! I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son. The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun! It is bloody hard work. And, harder the older they get -

eg. He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!" This has worked for 2 days now.

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time. Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too. We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine. We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all. We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son. Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do. Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline. That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!! If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class. How do you combat this without going to the school everyday? Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation. He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend , my child is the same way. I'm at my wits end. I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

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IMAGES

5 things to say when your child says, "I hate homework!"
Is Homework A Waste Of Time? Why Is Homework Important
Hate Doing Homework ― Top Ten Reasons Kids Hate Homework
Why Do Students Hate Homework Assignments? • EnglEzz
I Hate Homework Quotes. QuotesGram
I Hate Doing Homework: Tips to Help You Do Homework That You Hate

VIDEO

😶😶😶😡😡😡 why I hate homework
L hate homework!!! You too
I hate homework 😭
I.. Hate... Homework
I hate homework and teachers THEY ARE ANNOYING
I hate homework 😭☠

COMMENTS

Is it time to get rid of homework? Mental health experts weigh in
Emmy Kang, mental health counselor at Humantold, says studies have shown heavy workloads can be "detrimental" for students and cause a "big impact on their mental, physical and emotional health ...
Is it time to get rid of homework? Mental health experts weigh in
For older students, Kang says, homework benefits plateau at about two hours per night. "Most students, especially at these high achieving schools, they're doing a minimum of three hours, and it's ...
Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem
This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression, dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and ...
Should We Get Rid of Homework?
The authors believe this meritocratic narrative is a myth and that homework — math homework in particular — further entrenches the myth in the minds of teachers and their students.
5 things to say when your child says, "I hate homework!"
The parent says, 'Yes you are doing your homework!'. Then it's back-and-forth and arguing.". Tillman says you want to motivate your child, but you also want to make sure they understand that you're not going to engage in a battle over homework. "What I do is: homework time for the whole family. Everybody's going to do something.
Homework Is Stupid and I Hate Everything
Posted September 4, 2014. "I can't do this! I can't do anything! This is stupid! I'm stupid. Everything is stupid, I quit!". Yikes. We've all witnessed these moments of utter ...
Does homework really work?
If you ask my 12-year-old son, Sam, he'll say, "Homework doesn't help anything. It makes kids stressed-out and tired and makes them hate school more." Nothing more than common kid bellyaching? Maybe, but in the fractious field of homework studies, it's worth noting that Sam's sentiments nicely synopsize one side of the ivory tower ...
Homework anxiety: Why it happens and how to help
When kids feel anxious about homework, they might get angry, yell, or cry. Avoid matching their tone of voice. Take a deep breath and keep your voice steady and calm. Let them know you're there for them. Sometimes kids just don't want to do homework. They complain, procrastinate, or rush through the work so they can do something fun.
Homework Emotions in Children and Parents
A homework assignment can be a stimulus for any number of emotions. Erroneously, many children, parents, teachers, and even psychological researchers believe that children should be interested in ...
Why I Hate Homework and How the Research Backs Me Up
Too much homework affects a child's sleep. Lack of sleep negatively impacts brain function. ( Wolfson, 1998) 3. Homework is detrimental to student achievement and makes children depressed. ( Australian Institute of Family Studies following 10,000 students) 4. Too much homework is not helpful to student achievement.
Why I Love Doing Homework (Even If My Kids Hate It)
By Saul Austerlitz. Sept. 5, 2023. My kids call me the homework villain. Every school-day afternoon, my two sons — the older is entering sixth grade, the younger second grade — return home and ...
3 Ways to Get Homework Done when You Don't Want To
2. Take 15-minute breaks. Every 45 minutes, take a break and walk away from your study area. [7] Breaks are the time to get your reward, to use the bathroom or get a glass of water, and to move a little. Taking a break can give your brain a short rest from your work so you come back feeling refreshed and energized.
Everybody hates homework
Too active a role, in many cases. At a recent Back-to-School Night at an elementary school in a prosperous Bay Area suburb, one teacher told parents that she wouldn't be assigning big homework projects. When a parent asked why, the teacher replied, "Everyone knows that the students don't do those projects - their parents do.".
Tips To Help Teenagers Who Don't Like School
If you're unhappy with a particular aspect, some of the following tips might be useful. Let's take a look at common reasons teenagers don't like school along with a strategy that may help improve each one. 1. You're feeling overwhelmed. If school feels overwhelming, you're not alone. Many teenagers find themselves with packed schedules.
10 Reasons Why Students Hate Homework
Homework can also take up a lot of time, which could be better spent doing other things. 4. It Can Be Hard to Finish. One of the reasons many students hate doing their homework is that it can be hard to finish. This can be especially true when they have an assignment that requires a lot of research.
I Hate My Homework, What Can I Do?
But when I started doing my homework using this strategy, I discovered that setting a timer on your phone helps in writing your homework fast. I found that working in 25 to 30-minute blocks and then taking a five to 10-minute break is most effective when it comes to staying focused and working effectively.
I Hate Homework. I Assign It Anyway.
Motherlode. I Hate Homework. I Assign It Anyway. I hate — hate — homework. I hated homework when I was a student, I hate the battle of wills I have with my second-grader and I hate seeing my middle-school-age son miss out on the afternoons of his childhood. But most of all, I hate being a hypocrite. So it's time to come clean: I am a ...
[Need Advice] I don't want to do my homework. : r/getdisciplined
This continued on, and I did not do most of my homework. I just don't feel like doing my homework. ... And it's not like I hate studying or doing homework, I enjoy learning. I think this is a question of discipline, not motivation. So how are some people so disciplined, like my sister, and I'm not. It makes life so difficult.
How to Deal With a Teacher You Dislike: 10 Steps (with Pictures)
Instead of just blaming the teacher for the problem. show that you're willing to work together to fix it. 2. Talk to other students. If there are other students in the class who seem to be getting along with the teacher and doing well in the class, talk to them about their strategy.
Still, I struggle with how to help my son during homework time
My son hates doing homework, and I struggle to help him. Education experts say I need to give him more freedom so he can excel. Story by Sa'iyda Shabazz • 5mo.
What to Do When Your Child Hates School
The key is to build bridges. You can reduce your child's automatic reaction to the boredom and frustration of school and homework by linking your children's positive emotions to their one-size ...
My Child Refuses To Do Homework
Don't get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don't do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child: "Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.".
I hate school, doing schoolwork, homework, and studying more ...
I also often procrastinate studying and often cram all my studying final day before the exam. I know this is not the proper way to do school, but I literally can't help it when I hate school this much, and causes me more stress, but I can't help but do everything at school this way the more fatigued I get by school more and more every second.
Homework is Bullshit and Should not exist : r/SchoolSystemBroke
Homework is Bullshit and Should not exist. Rant. I fucking hate homework so much, Homework is like a even shitty sequel to a shitty movie, imagine having a long day at school, hand cramping and toil, and you go back home to rest, and next thing you know you got to sit in your desk, looking at a piece of paper with questions like "little Timmy ...

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Is it time to get rid of homework? Mental health experts weigh in.

The pandemic made the conversation around homework more crucial

'Get organized' ahead of back-to-school

Why I Dislike Homework and How the Research Backs Me Up

Homework Research

Recommendations for Homework (if given)

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40 Comments

Why I Love Doing Homework (Even If My Kids Hate It)

Explore The New York Times Magazine

Everybody hates homework

3 kids, 3 different homework styles

Hands off homework

Homework habits that work

Homes Nearby

Tips To Help Teenagers Who Don't Like School

5 reasons you might not like school, plus five solutions to try

1. You’re feeling overwhelmed

2. You hate getting up early

3. You have test anxiety

4. You’re being bullied

5. You’re experiencing anxiety or depression

What do I do if I hate my school?

Is it normal not to like school?

Is it normal for a 13-year-old to hate school?

Is there a school phobia?

Is school making kids depressed?

Do kids with Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) hate school?

Is school too stressful for kids?

Do kids feel lonely at school?

Can too much homework cause depression?

10 Reasons Why Students Hate Homework

Why is homework important?

1. Homework is an important tool for students to improve their grades.

2. Homework can help students learn new material and improve their skills.

3. Homework can help students stay focused and motivated.

4. Homework is an important aspect of education that helps students prepare for life in the real world.