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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, discussing my eating disorder in college essays – too personal or potentially impactful.

Hey guys, so here's the thing – I’ve battled with an eating disorder, and it’s been a significant part of my high school experience. Should I write about overcoming this challenge in my essays, or would it be better to choose a less sensitive subject?

Your courage in facing and overcoming such a personal challenge is commendable. When choosing an essay topic, the key is to focus on how the experience has shaped you and enabled personal growth. If you believe that your journey with an eating disorder has been a transformational part of your high school experience and has changed you in a significant way, it is worth considering as an essay topic.

However, ensure that your narrative is one of resilience and that it showcases how this experience has helped you build up your strengths, rather than solely focusing on the struggle itself. For example, avoid graphic descriptions of what you dealt with, as they may be uncomfortable for admissions officers to read, especially if they have struggled with eating disorders themselves—remember, you never know who is going to be reading your essay.

Rather, focus on how overcoming the hardship of this experience has taught you important life skills, by talking about accomplishments or formative experiences that were enabled by the abilities you developed as a result of your struggle with your eating disorder. This approach will give colleges what they are interested in in any personal statement, which is your ability to persevere and how your experiences have prepared you for the challenges of college life.

In summary, this topic is not too personal if framed correctly. If you're wondering if your approach is working, you can always check out CollegeVine's free peer essay review service, or submit it to an expert advisor for a paid review. Since they don't know you, they can provide an objective perspective that will hopefully give you a sense of how an actual admissions officer would read you essay. Good luck!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Helping Someone with an Eating Disorder

• Anorexia Nervosa: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment
• Bulimia Nervosa: Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment
• Orthorexia Nervosa: Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment

Binge Eating Disorder

• Body Shaming: The Effects and How to Overcome it
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): What it is, How it Helps

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

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How do I begin recovery from an eating disorder?

Reach out for support, getting treatment for an eating disorder, self-help tip 1: learn healthier ways to cope with emotional pain, tip 2: develop a balanced relationship with food, tip 3: learn to accept and love yourself as you are, tip 4: avoid relapse, eating disorder treatment and recovery.

Ready to begin recovery from anorexia, bulimia, or another eating disorder? These tips can help you start recovery and develop true self-confidence.

The inner voices of anorexia and bulimia whisper that you’ll never be happy until you lose weight, that your worth is measured by how you look. But the truth is that happiness and self-esteem come from loving yourself for who you truly are—and that’s only possible with recovery.

The road to recovery from an eating disorder starts with admitting you have a problem. This admission can be tough, especially if you’re still clinging to the belief—even in the back of your mind—that weight loss is the key to your happiness, confidence, and success. Even when you finally understand this isn’t true, old habits are still hard to break.

The good news is that the behaviors you’ve learned can also be unlearned. Just as anyone can develop an eating disorder, so too, anyone can get better. However, overcoming an eating disorder is about more than giving up unhealthy eating behaviors. It’s also about learning new ways to cope with emotional pain and rediscovering who you are beyond your eating habits, weight, and body image.

True recovery from an eating disorder involves learning to:

• Listen to your feelings.
• Listen to your body.
• Accept yourself.
• Love yourself.

This may seem like a lot to tackle, but just remember that you’re not alone. Help is out there and recovery is within your reach. With the right support and guidance, you can break free from your eating disorder’s destructive pattern, regain your health, and find the joy in life again.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

Once you’ve decided to make a change, opening up about the problem is an important step on the road to recovery. It can feel scary or embarrassing to seek help for an eating disorder, so it’s important to choose someone who will be supportive and truly listen without judging you or rejecting you. This could be a close friend or family member or a youth leader, teacher, or school counselor you trust. Or you may be more comfortable confiding in a therapist or doctor.

Choose the right time and place. There are no hard and fast rules for telling someone about your eating disorder. But be mindful about choosing the right time and place—ideally somewhere private where you won’t be rushed or interrupted.

Starting the conversation. This can be the hardest part. One way to start is by simply saying, “I’ve got something important to tell you. It’s difficult for me to talk about this, so it would mean a lot if you’d be patient and hear me out.” From there, you may want to talk about when your eating disorder started, the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors involved, and how the disorder has impacted you.

Be patient. Your friend or family member will have their own emotional reaction to learning about your eating disorder. They may feel shocked, helpless, confused, sad, or even angry. They may not know how to respond or help you. Give them time to digest what you’re telling them. It’s also important to educate them about your specific eating disorder.

Be specific about how the person can best support you. For example, you may want them to help you find treatment, accompany you to see a doctor, check in with you regularly about how you’re feeling, or find some other way of supporting your recovery (without turning into the food police).

Eating disorder support groups

While family and friends can be a huge help in providing support, you may also want to join an eating disorder support group. They provide a safe environment where you can talk freely about your eating disorder and get advice and support from people who know what you’re going through.

There are many types of eating disorder support groups. Some are led by professional therapists, while others are moderated by trained volunteers or people who have recovered from an eating disorder. You can find online anorexia and bulimia support groups, chat rooms, and forums. These can be particularly helpful if you’re not ready to seek face-to-face help or you don’t have a support group in your area.

For help finding an eating disorder support group:

• Ask your doctor or therapist for a referral.
• Call local hospitals and universities.
• Call local eating disorder centers and clinics.
• Visit your school’s counseling center.
• Call a helpline listed below.

While there are a variety of different treatment options available for those struggling with eating disorders, it is important to find the treatment, or combination of treatments, that works best for you.

Effective treatment should address more than just your symptoms and destructive eating habits. It should also address the root causes of the problem—the emotional triggers that lead to disordered eating and your difficulty coping with stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, or other uncomfortable emotions.

Step 1: Assemble your treatment team

Because eating disorders have serious emotional, medical, and nutritional consequences, it’s important to have a team of professionals that can address every aspect of your problem. As you search, focus on finding the right fit—professionals who make you feel comfortable, accepted, and safe.

To find an eating disorder treatment specialist in your area:

• Ask your primary care doctor for a referral.
• Check with your local hospitals or medical centers.
• Ask your school counselor or nurse.
• Call a helpline listed in the Get more help section below.

Step 2: Address health problems

Eating disorders can be deadly—and not just if you’re drastically underweight. Your health may be in danger, even if you only occasionally fast, binge, or purge, so it’s important to get a full medical evaluation. If the evaluation reveals health problems, they should take priority. Nothing is more important than your well-being. If you’re suffering from any life-threatening problem, you may need to be hospitalized in order to keep you safe.

Step 3: Make a long-term treatment plan

Once your health problems are under control, you and your treatment team can work on a long-term recovery plan. Your treatment plan may include:

Individual or group therapy. Therapy can help you explore the issues underlying your eating disorder, improve your self-esteem, and learn healthy ways of responding to stress and emotional pain. Different therapists have different methods, so it is important to discuss with them your goals in working towards recovery.

Family therapy. Family therapy can help you and your family members explore how the eating disorder is affecting your relationships—and how various family dynamics may be contributing to the problem or impeding recovery. Together, you’ll work to improve communication, respect, and support.

Nutritional counseling. The goal of a nutritionist or dietician is to help you incorporate healthy eating behaviors into your everyday life. A nutritionist can’t change your habits overnight, but over a period of time you can learn to develop a healthier relationship with food.

Medical monitoring. Often, treatment will include regular monitoring by a medical doctor to make sure your health is not in danger. This may include regular weigh-ins, blood tests, and other health screenings.

Residential treatment. In rare cases, you may need more support than can be provided on an outpatient basis. Residential treatment programs offer around-the-clock care and monitoring to get you back on track. The goal is to get you stable enough to continue treatment at home.

Step 4: Learn self-help strategies

While seeking professional help is important, don’t underestimate your own role in recovery. The more motivated you are to understand why you developed an eating disorder, and to learn healthier coping skills, the quicker you will see change and healing. The following tips can help:

It may seem like eating disorders are all about food—after all, your rules and fears about dieting and weight have taken over your life. But food itself isn’t the real problem. Disordered eating is a coping mechanism for stress or other unpleasant emotions. You may refuse food to feel in control, binge for comfort, or purge to punish yourself, for example. But whatever need your eating disorder fulfills in your life, you can learn  healthier ways to cope with negative emotions and deal with life’s challenges.

The first step is figuring out what’s really going on inside. Are you upset about something? Depressed? Stressed out? Lonely? Is there an intense feeling you’re trying to avoid? Are you eating to calm down, comfort yourself, or to relieve boredom? Once you identify the emotion you’re experiencing, you can choose a positive alternative to starving or stuffing yourself.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

• Call a friend
• Listen to music
• Play with a pet
• Read a good book
• Take a walk
• Write in a journal
• Go to the movies
• Get out into nature
• Play a favorite game
• Do something helpful for someone else

Even though food itself is not the problem, developing a healthier relationship with it is essential to your recovery. Most people with eating disorders struggle with issues of control when it comes to food—often fluctuating between strict rules and chaos. The goal is to find a balance.

Let go of rigid eating rules. Strict rules about food and eating fuel eating disorders, so it’s important to replace them with healthier ones. For example, if you have a rule forbidding all desserts, change it into a less rigid guideline such as, “I won’t eat dessert every day.” You won’t gain weight by enjoying an occasional ice cream or cookie.

Don’t diet.  The more you restrict food, the more likely it is that you’ll become preoccupied, and even obsessed, with it. So instead of focusing on what you “shouldn’t” eat, focus on nutritious foods that will energize you and make your body strong. Think of food as fuel for your body. Your body knows when the tank is low, so listen to it. Eat when you’re truly hungry, then stop when you’re full.

Stick to a regular eating schedule. You may be used to skipping meals or fasting for long stretches. But when you starve yourself, food becomes all you think about. To avoid this preoccupation, try to eat every three hours. Plan ahead for meals and snacks, and don’t skip!

When you base your self-worth on physical appearance alone, you’re ignoring all the other qualities, accomplishments, and abilities that make you beautiful. Think about your friends and family members. Do they love you for the way you look or who you are? Chances are, your appearance ranks low on the list of what they love about you—and you probably feel the same about them. So why does it top your own list?

Placing too much importance on how you look leads to low self-esteem and insecurity. But you can learn to see yourself in a positive, balanced way:

Make a list of your positive qualities.  Think of all the things you like about yourself. Are you smart? Kind? Creative? Loyal? Funny? What would others say are your good qualities? Include your talents, skills, and achievements. Also, think about negative qualities you don’t   have.

Stop body checking. Pinching for fatness, continually weighing yourself, or trying on too-small clothes only magnifies a negative self-view and gives you a distorted image of what you really look like. We are all very bad at detecting visual changes in ourselves. Your goal right now is to learn to accept yourself—and that shouldn’t depend on a number on the scale or a perceived flaw you think you see in the mirror.

Avoid “fat talk.” It’s something many of us take part in without even noticing. Perhaps we make self-deprecating jokes about our appearance, criticize a celebrity for gaining a few pounds, or when we greet friends, we focus on how they look—their new outfit or newly toned physique, for example. But focusing on appearance—our own or others—only leads to feelings of body dissatisfaction. Instead of telling others, “You look great!” try focusing on something other than appearance, such as “You seem really happy!” And avoid spending time with people intent on judging others by their looks.

Challenge negative self-talk. We all have negative thoughts about our appearance from time to time. The important thing is not to base your self-worth on these thoughts. Instead, when you catch yourself being self-critical or pessimistic, stop and challenge the negative thought. Ask yourself what evidence you have to support the idea. What is the evidence against it? Just because you believe something, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Tips to improve your body image

Dress for yourself, not others. You should feel good in what you wear. Pick clothes that express your personality and make you feel comfortable and confident.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Even people without an eating disorder experience feelings of anxiety and inferiority when they compare themselves to others on social media. People exaggerate the positive aspects of their lives on Facebook, Instagram and the like, brushing over their flaws and the doubts and disappointments that we all experience. If necessary, take a break from social media —and toss the fashion magazines. Even when you realize that the images are pure Photoshopped fantasy, they can still trigger feelings of insecurity. Stay away until you’re confident they won’t undermine your self-acceptance.

Pamper your body. Instead of treating your body like the enemy, look at it as something precious. Pamper yourself with a massage, manicure, facial, a candlelight bath, or a scented lotion or perfume that makes you happy.

Stay active. While it’s important not to overdo it with exercise, staying active is good for both your mental and physical well-being. The key is to differentiate between compulsive exercise—which is rule-driven, weight-focused, and rigid—and healthy exercise that is rule-free, fun, and flexible. Focus on activities you enjoy and do them because they improve your mood, not because they might change how you look. Outdoor activities can be especially good at boosting your sense of well-being.

The work of eating disorder recovery doesn’t end once you’ve adopted healthier habits. It’s important to take steps to maintain your progress and prevent relapse.

Develop a solid support system. Surround yourself with people who support you and want to see you healthy and happy. Avoid people who drain your energy, encourage disordered eating behaviors, or make you feel bad about yourself.

Identify your “triggers.” Are you more likely to revert to your old, destructive behaviors during the holidays, exam week, or swimsuit season? Or are difficulties at work or in your relationship likely to trigger your disordered eating habits? Know what your early warning signs are, and have a plan for dealing with them, such as going to therapy more often or asking for extra support from family and friends.

Avoid pro-ana and pro-mia websites. Don’t visit websites that promote or glorify anorexia and bulimia. These sites are run by people who want excuses to continue down their destructive path. The “support” they offer is dangerous and will only get in the way of your recovery.

Keep a journal. Writing in a daily journal can help you keep tabs on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. If you notice that you’re slipping back into negative patterns, take action immediately.

Stick with your eating disorder treatment plan. Don’t neglect therapy or other components of your treatment, even if you’re doing better. Follow the recommendations of your treatment team.

Fill your life with positive activities. Make time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Try something you’ve always wanted to do, develop a new skill, pick up a fun hobby, or volunteer in your community . The more rewarding your life, the less desire you’ll have to focus on food and weight.

If you do lapse, don’t beat yourself up. Recovery is a process—and that often involves setbacks. Don’t let feelings of guilt or shame derail your recovery, but think about how you’ll handle the same situation next time. Remember: One brief lapse doesn’t have to turn into a full-blown relapse.

Helplines and support

National Eating Disorders Association  or call 1-800-931-2237 (National Eating Disorders Association)

Beat Eating Disorders  or call 0345 643 1414 (Helpfinder)

Butterfly Foundation for Eating Disorders  or call 1800 33 4673 (National Eating Disorders Collaboration)

Service Provider Directory  or call 1-866-633-4220 (NEDIC)

More in Eating Disorders

Advice for parents, family members and friends offering support

Anorexia Nervosa

Signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment options for anorexia

Bulimia Nervosa

Signs, symptoms, treatment and self-help tips

Orthorexia Nervosa

How to recognize if your healthy eating has gone too far

Symptoms, treatment and help for compulsive overeating

Body Shaming

Improving your body image and achieving body acceptance

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

How it can help with anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and more

Always focusing on your physical flaws? You may have BDD.

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• Diseases & Conditions
• Eating disorders

Eating disorders are serious health conditions that affect both your physical and mental health. These conditions include problems in how you think about food, eating, weight and shape, and in your eating behaviors. These symptoms can affect your health, your emotions and your ability to function in important areas of life.

If not treated effectively, eating disorders can become long-term problems and, in some cases, can cause death. The most common eating disorders are anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating disorder.

Most eating disorders involve focusing too much on weight, body shape and food. This can lead to dangerous eating behaviors. These behaviors can seriously affect the ability to get the nutrition your body needs. Eating disorders can harm the heart, digestive system, bones, teeth and mouth. They can lead to other diseases. They're also linked with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

With proper treatment, you can return to healthier eating habits and learn healthier ways to think about food and your body. You also may be able to reverse or reduce serious problems caused by the eating disorder.

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Symptoms vary, depending on the type of eating disorder. Anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating disorder are the most common eating disorders. People with eating disorders can have all different body types and sizes.

Anorexia (an-o-REK-see-uh), also called anorexia nervosa, can be a life-threatening eating disorder. It includes an unhealthy low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight, and a view of weight and shape that is not realistic. Anorexia often involves using extreme efforts to control weight and shape, which often seriously interfere with health and daily life.

Anorexia may include severely limiting calories or cutting out certain kinds of foods or food groups. It may involve other methods to lose weight, such as exercising too much, using laxatives or diet aids, or vomiting after eating. Efforts to reduce weight can cause severe health problems, even for those who continue eating throughout the day or whose weight isn't extremely low.

Bulimia (buh-LEE-me-uh), also called bulimia nervosa, is a serious, sometimes life-threatening eating disorder. Bulimia includes episodes of bingeing, commonly followed by episodes of purging. Sometimes bulimia also includes severely limiting eating for periods of time. This often leads to stronger urges to binge eat and then purge.

Bingeing involves eating food — sometimes an extremely large amount — in a short period of time. During bingeing, people feel like they have no control over their eating and that they can't stop. After eating, due to guilt, shame or an intense fear of weight gain, purging is done to get rid of calories. Purging can include vomiting, exercising too much, not eating for a period of time, or using other methods, such as taking laxatives. Some people change medicine doses, such as changing insulin amounts, to try to lose weight.

Bulimia also involves being preoccupied with weight and body shape, with severe and harsh self-judgment of personal appearance.

Binge-eating disorder

Binge-eating disorder involves eating food in a short amount of time. When bingeing, it feels like there's no control over eating. But binge eating is not followed by purging. During a binge, people may eat food faster or eat more food than planned. Even when not hungry, eating may continue long past feeling uncomfortably full.

After a binge, people often feel a great deal of guilt, disgust or shame. They may fear gaining weight. They may try to severely limit eating for periods of time. This leads to increased urges to binge, setting up an unhealthy cycle. Embarrassment can lead to eating alone to hide bingeing. A new round of bingeing commonly occurs at least once a week.

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder includes extremely limited eating or not eating certain foods. The pattern of eating often doesn't meet minimum daily nutrition needs. This may lead to problems with growth, development and functioning in daily life. But people with this disorder don't have fears about gaining weight or body size. Instead, they may not be interested in eating or may avoid food with a certain color, texture, smell or taste. Or they may worry about what can happen when eating. For example, they may have a fear of choking or vomiting, or they may worry about getting stomach problems.

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder can be diagnosed in all ages, but it's more common in younger children. The disorder can result in major weight loss or failure to gain weight in childhood. A lack of proper nutrition can lead to major health problems.

When to see a doctor

An eating disorder can be difficult to manage or overcome by yourself. The earlier you get treatment, the more likely you'll make a full recovery. Sometimes people can have problem eating behaviors that are similar to some symptoms of an eating disorder, but the symptoms don't meet the guidelines for a diagnosis of an eating disorder. But these problem eating behaviors can still seriously affect health and well-being.

If you have problem eating behaviors that cause you distress or affect your life or health, or if you think you have an eating disorder, seek medical help.

Urging a loved one to seek treatment

Many people with eating disorders may not think they need treatment. One of the main features of many eating disorders is not realizing how severe the symptoms are. Also, guilt and shame often prevent people from getting help.

If you're worried about a friend or family member, urge the person to talk to a health care provider. Even if that person isn't ready to admit to having an issue with food, you can start the discussion by expressing concern and a desire to listen.

Red flags that may suggest an eating disorder include:

• Skipping meals or snacks or making excuses for not eating.
• Having a very limited diet that hasn't been prescribed by a trained medical professional.
• Too much focus on food or healthy eating, especially if it means not participating in usual events, such as sports banquets, eating birthday cake or dining out.
• Making own meals rather than eating what the family eats.
• Withdrawing from usual social activities.
• Frequent and ongoing worry or complaints about being unhealthy or overweight and talk of losing weight.
• Frequent checking in the mirror for what are thought to be flaws.
• Repeatedly eating large amounts of foods.
• Using dietary supplements, laxatives or herbal products for weight loss.
• Exercising much more than the average person. This includes not taking rest days or days off for injury or illness or refusing to attend social events or other life events because of wanting to exercise.
• Calluses on the knuckles from reaching fingers into the mouth to cause vomiting.
• Problems with loss of tooth enamel that may be a sign of repeated vomiting.
• Leaving during meals or right after a meal to use the toilet.
• Talk of depression, disgust, shame or guilt about eating habits.
• Eating in secret.

If you're worried that you or your child may have an eating disorder, contact a health care provider to talk about your concerns. If needed, get a referral to a mental health provider with expertise in eating disorders. Or if your insurance permits it, contact an expert directly.

The exact cause of eating disorders is not known. As with other mental health conditions, there may be different causes, such as:

• Genetics. Some people may have genes that increase their risk of developing eating disorders.
• Biology. Biological factors, such as changes in brain chemicals, may play a role in eating disorders.

Risk factors

Anyone can develop an eating disorder. Eating disorders often start in the teen and young adult years. But they can occur at any age.

Certain factors may increase the risk of developing an eating disorder, including:

• Family history. Eating disorders are more likely to occur in people who have parents or siblings who've had an eating disorder.
• Other mental health issues. Trauma, anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other mental health issues can increase the likelihood of an eating disorder.
• Dieting and starvation. Frequent dieting is a risk factor for an eating disorder, especially with weight that is constantly going up and down when getting on and off new diets. There is strong evidence that many of the symptoms of an eating disorder are symptoms of starvation. Starvation affects the brain and can lead to mood changes, rigid thinking, anxiety and reduced appetite. This may cause severely limited eating or problem eating behaviors to continue and make it difficult to return to healthy eating habits.
• A history of weight bullying. People who have been teased or bullied for their weight are more likely to develop problems with eating and eating disorders. This includes people who have been made to feel ashamed of their weight by peers, health care professionals, coaches, teachers or family members.
• Stress. Whether it's heading off to college, moving, landing a new job, or a family or relationship issue, change can bring stress. And stress may increase the risk of an eating disorder.

Complications

Eating disorders cause a wide variety of complications, some of them life-threatening. The more severe or long lasting the eating disorder, the more likely it is that serious complications may occur. These may include:

• Serious health problems.
• Depression and anxiety.
• Suicidal thoughts or behavior.
• Problems with growth and development.
• Social and relationship problems.
• Substance use disorders.
• Work and school issues.

There's no sure way to prevent eating disorders, but you can take steps to develop healthy eating habits. If you have a child, you can help your child lower the risk of developing eating disorders.

To develop healthy eating habits and lifestyle behaviors:

• Choose a healthy diet rich in whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Limit salt, sugar, alcohol, saturated fat and trans fats. Avoid extreme dieting. If you need to lose weight, talk to your health care provider or a dietitian to create a plan that meets your needs.
• Don't use dietary supplements, laxatives or herbal products for weight loss.
• Get enough physical activity. Each week, get at least 150 minutes of aerobic activity, such as brisk walking. Choose activities that you enjoy, so you're more likely to do them.
• Seek help for mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or issues with self-esteem and body image.

For more guidelines on food and nutrition, as well as physical activity, go to health.gov.

Talk to a health care provider if you have concerns about your eating behaviors. Getting treatment early can prevent the problem from getting worse.

Here are some ways to help your child develop healthy-eating behaviors:

• Avoid dieting around your child. Family dining habits may influence the relationships children develop with food. Eating meals together gives you an opportunity to teach your child about the pitfalls of dieting. It also allows you to see whether your child is eating enough food and enough variety.
• Talk to your child. There are many websites and other social media sites that promote dangerous ideas, such as viewing anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than an eating disorder. Some sites encourage teens to start dieting. It's important to correct any wrong ideas like this. Talk to your child about the risks of making unhealthy eating choices.
• Encourage and reinforce a healthy body image in your child, whatever their shape or size. Talk to your child about self-image and offer reassurance that body shapes can vary. Don't criticize your own body in front of your child. Messages of acceptance and respect can help build healthy self-esteem. They also can build resilience ⸺ the ability to recover quickly from difficult events. These skills can help children get through the challenging times of the teen and young adult years.
• Ask your child's health care provider for help. At well-child visits, health care providers may be able to identify early signs of an eating disorder. They can ask children questions about their eating habits. These visits can include checks of height and weight percentiles and body mass index, which can alert you and your child's provider to any big changes.

Reach out to help

If you notice a family member or friend who seems to show signs of an eating disorder, consider talking to that person about your concern for their well-being. You may not be able to prevent an eating disorder from developing, but reaching out with compassion may encourage the person to seek treatment.

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• Questions and answers about FDA's initiative against contaminated weight loss products. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. https://www.fda.gov/drugs/frequently-asked-questions-popular-topics/questions-and-answers-about-fdas-initiative-against-contaminated-weight-loss-products. Accessed Nov. 16, 2022.
• Mixing medications and dietary supplements can endanger your health. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/mixing-medications-and-dietary-supplements-can-endanger-your-health. Accessed Nov. 16, 2022.
• Lebow JR (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic. Dec. 1, 2022.
• 2020-2025 Dietary Guidelines for Americans. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and U.S. Department of Agriculture. https://www.dietaryguidelines.gov. Accessed Feb. 3, 2023.
• Long MW, et al. Cost-effectiveness of 5 public health approaches to prevent eating disorders. American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2022; doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2022.07.005.
• Health.gov. https://health.gov/. Accessed Feb. 7, 2023.
• Eating disorder treatment: Know your options

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Home — Essay Samples — Nursing & Health — Public Health Issues — Eating Disorders

Essay Examples on Eating Disorders

What makes a good eating disorders essay topic.

When it comes to selecting a topic for your eating disorders essay, it's crucial to consider a multitude of factors that can elevate your writing to new heights. Below are some innovative suggestions on how to brainstorm and choose an essay topic that will captivate your readers:

- Brainstorm: Begin by unleashing a storm of ideas related to eating disorders. Delve into the various facets, such as causes, effects, treatment options, societal influences, and personal narratives. Ponder upon what intrigues you and what will engage your audience.

- Research: Embark on a comprehensive research journey to accumulate information and gain a profound understanding of the subject matter. This exploration will enable you to identify distinctive angles and perspectives to explore in your essay. Seek out scholarly sources such as academic journals, books, and reputable websites.

- Cater to your audience: Reflect upon your readers and their interests to tailor your topic accordingly. Adapting your subject matter to captivate your audience will undoubtedly make your essay more engaging. Consider the age, background, and knowledge level of your readers.

- Unveil controversies: Unearth the controversies and debates within the realm of eating disorders. Opting for a topic that ignites discussion will infuse your essay with thought-provoking and impactful qualities. Delve into various viewpoints and critically analyze arguments for and against different ideas.

- Personal connection: If you possess a personal connection or experience with eating disorders, contemplate sharing your story or delving into it within your essay. This will add a unique and personal touch to your writing. However, ensure that your personal anecdotes remain relevant to the topic and effectively support your main points.

Overall, a remarkable eating disorders essay topic should be meticulously researched, thought-provoking, and relevant to your audience's interests and needs.

Best Eating Disorders Essay Topics

Below, you will find a compilation of the finest eating disorders essay topics to consider:

1. The captivating influence of social media on promoting unhealthy body image. 2. Breaking free from stereotypes: Exploring eating disorders among male athletes. 3. The profound impact of diet culture on body image and self-esteem. 4. Unraveling the intricate link between eating disorders and the pursuit of perfection. 5. The portrayal of eating disorders in popular media: Dissecting the battle between glamorization and reality.

Best Eating Disorders Essay Questions

Below, you will find an array of stellar eating disorders essay questions to explore:

1. How does social media contribute to the development and perpetuation of eating disorders? 2. What challenges do males with eating disorders face, and how can these challenges be addressed? 3. To what extent does the family environment contribute to the development of eating disorders? 4. What role does diet culture play in fostering unhealthy relationships with food? 5. How can different treatment approaches be tailored to address the unique needs of individuals grappling with eating disorders?

Eating Disorders Essay Prompts

Below, you will find a collection of eating disorders essay prompts that will kindle your creative fire:

1. Craft a personal essay that intricately details your voyage towards recovery from an eating disorder, elucidating the lessons you learned along the way. 2. Picture yourself as a parent of a teenager burdened with an eating disorder. Pen a heartfelt letter to other parents, sharing your experiences and providing valuable advice. 3. Fabricate a fictional character entangled in the clutches of binge-eating disorder. Concoct a short story that explores their odyssey towards self-acceptance and recovery. 4. Construct a persuasive essay that fervently argues for the integration of comprehensive education on eating disorders into school curricula. 5. Immerse yourself in the role of a therapist specializing in eating disorders. Compose a reflective essay that delves into the challenges and rewards of working with individuals grappling with eating disorders.

Writing Eating Disorders Essays: Frequently Asked Questions

Below, you will find answers to some frequently asked questions about writing eating disorders essays:

Q: How can I effectively commence my eating disorders essay? A: Commence your essay with a captivating introduction that ensnares the reader's attention and provides an overview of the topic. Consider starting with an intriguing statistic, a powerful quote, or a personal anecdote.

Q: Can I incorporate personal experiences into my eating disorders essay? A: Absolutely! Infusing your essay with personal experiences adds depth and authenticity. However, ensure that your personal anecdotes remain relevant to the topic and effectively support your main points.

Q: How can I make my eating disorders essay engaging? A: Utilize a variety of rhetorical devices such as metaphors, similes, and vivid descriptions to transform your essay into an engaging masterpiece. Additionally, consider incorporating real-life examples, case studies, or interviews to provide concrete evidence and make your essay relatable.

Q: Should my essay focus solely on one specific type of eating disorder? A: While focusing on a specific type of eating disorder can provide a narrower scope for your essay, exploring the broader theme of eating disorders as a whole can also be valuable. Strive to strike a balance between depth and breadth in your writing.

Q: How can I conclude my eating disorders essay effectively? A: In your conclusion, summarize the main points of your essay and restate your thesis statement. Additionally, consider leaving the reader with a thought-provoking question or a call to action, encouraging further reflection or research on the topic.

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Eating disorders refer to a complex set of mental health conditions characterized by disturbances in one's eating behaviors and attitudes towards food, leading to severe consequences on an individual's physical and psychological well-being.

Anorexia Nervosa: Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder characterized by an intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of one's body image. People with this disorder exhibit extreme food restriction, leading to significant weight loss and the possibility of reaching dangerously low levels of body weight. Anorexia nervosa is often accompanied by obsessive thoughts about food, excessive exercise routines, and a constant preoccupation with body shape and size. Bulimia Nervosa: Bulimia nervosa involves a cyclic pattern of binge eating followed by compensatory behaviors aimed at preventing weight gain. During binge episodes, individuals consume large quantities of food in a short period and experience a loss of control over their eating. To counteract the caloric intake, these individuals may resort to self-induced vomiting, excessive exercising, or the misuse of laxatives. It is important to note that unlike anorexia nervosa, individuals with bulimia nervosa typically maintain a body weight within the normal range or slightly above. Binge Eating Disorder: Binge eating disorder is characterized by recurrent episodes of consuming a significant amount of food in a short period, accompanied by a feeling of loss of control. Unlike other eating disorders, individuals with binge eating disorder do not engage in compensatory behaviors such as purging or excessive exercise.

Distorted Body Image: Individuals with eating disorders often have a distorted perception of their body, seeing themselves as overweight or unattractive, even when they are underweight or at a healthy weight. Obsession with Food and Weight: People with eating disorders may constantly think about food, calories, and their weight. They may develop strict rules and rituals around eating, such as avoiding certain food groups, restricting their intake, or engaging in excessive exercise. Emotional and Psychological Factors: Eating disorders are often associated with underlying emotional and psychological issues, such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, or a need for control. Physical Health: Eating disorders can have severe physical health consequences, including malnutrition, electrolyte imbalances, hormonal disruptions, gastrointestinal problems, and organ damage. These complications can be life-threatening and require medical intervention. Social Isolation and Withdrawal: Individuals struggling with eating disorders may experience a withdrawal from social activities, distancing themselves from others due to feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment related to their eating behaviors or body image. This social isolation can intensify the challenges they face and contribute to a sense of loneliness and emotional distress. Co-occurring Disorders: Eating disorders frequently co-occur with other mental health conditions, creating complex challenges for those affected. It is common for individuals with eating disorders to also experience anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse issues, or engage in self-harming behaviors. The coexistence of these disorders can exacerbate the severity of symptoms and necessitate comprehensive and integrated treatment approaches.

Genetic and Biological Factors: Research suggests that there is a genetic predisposition to eating disorders. Individuals with a family history of eating disorders or other mental health conditions may be at a higher risk. Biological factors, such as imbalances in brain chemicals or hormones, can also contribute to the development of eating disorders. Psychological Factors: Psychological factors play a significant role in the development of eating disorders. Factors such as diminished self-worth, a relentless pursuit of perfection, dissatisfaction with one's body, and distorted perceptions of body image can play a significant role in the onset and perpetuation of disordered eating patterns. Sociocultural Influences: Societal pressures and cultural norms surrounding body image and beauty standards can contribute to the development of eating disorders. Media portrayal of unrealistic body ideals, peer influence, and societal emphasis on thinness can impact individuals' self-perception and increase the risk of developing an eating disorder. Traumatic Experiences: The impact of traumatic events, be it physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, can heighten the vulnerability to developing eating disorders. Such distressing experiences have the potential to instigate feelings of diminished self-worth, profound body shame, and a compelling desire to exert control over one's body and eating behaviors. Dieting and Weight-related Practices: Restrictive dieting, excessive exercise, and weight-focused behaviors can serve as triggers for the development of eating disorders. These behaviors may start innocently as an attempt to improve one's health or appearance but can spiral into disordered eating patterns.

Psychotherapy: Various forms of psychotherapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and family-based therapy (FBT), are employed to address the underlying psychological factors contributing to eating disorders. These therapies aim to challenge distorted thoughts and beliefs about body image, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve self-esteem. Nutritional Counseling: Working with registered dietitians, individuals receive personalized guidance on developing a balanced and healthy relationship with food. Nutritional counseling focuses on establishing regular eating patterns, promoting mindful eating practices, and debunking harmful dietary myths. Medical Monitoring: This involves regular check-ups to assess physical health, monitor vital signs, and address any medical complications arising from the disorder. Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to manage associated symptoms like depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Medications can complement therapy and help stabilize mood, regulate eating patterns, or address co-occurring mental health conditions. Support Groups and Peer Support: Joining support groups or engaging in peer support programs can provide individuals with a sense of community and understanding. Interacting with others who have faced similar challenges can offer valuable insights, encouragement, and empathy.

Films: Movies like "To the Bone" (2017) and "Feed" (2017) shed light on the struggles individuals with eating disorders face. These films delve into the psychological and emotional aspects of the disorders, emphasizing the importance of seeking help and promoting recovery. Books: Novels such as "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson and "Paperweight" by Meg Haston offer intimate perspectives on the experiences of characters grappling with eating disorders. These books provide insights into the complexities of these conditions, including the internal battles, societal pressures, and the journey towards healing. Documentaries: Documentaries like "Thin" (2006) and "Eating Disorders: Surviving the Silence" (2019) offer real-life accounts of individuals living with eating disorders. These documentaries provide a raw and authentic portrayal of the challenges faced by those affected, raising awareness and encouraging empathy.

1. As per the data provided by the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), it is estimated that around 30 million individuals residing in the United States will experience an eating disorder during their lifetime. 2. Research suggests that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Anorexia nervosa, in particular, has a mortality rate of around 10%, emphasizing the seriousness and potential life-threatening nature of these disorders. 3. Eating disorders can affect individuals of all genders and ages, contrary to the common misconception that they only affect young women. While young women are more commonly affected, studies indicate that eating disorders are increasingly prevalent among men and can also occur in older adults and children.

The topic of eating disorders is of significant importance when it comes to raising awareness, promoting understanding, and addressing the challenges faced by individuals who experience these disorders. Writing an essay on this topic allows for a deeper exploration of the complexities surrounding eating disorders and their impact on individuals, families, and society. First and foremost, studying eating disorders is crucial for shedding light on the psychological, emotional, and physical aspects of these conditions. By delving into the underlying causes, risk factors, and symptoms, we can gain a better understanding of the complex interplay between biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors that contribute to the development and maintenance of eating disorders. Furthermore, discussing eating disorders helps to challenge societal misconceptions and stereotypes. It allows us to debunk harmful beliefs, such as the notion that eating disorders only affect a specific gender or age group, and instead emphasizes the reality that anyone can be susceptible to these disorders. Writing an essay on eating disorders also provides an opportunity to explore the impact of media, societal pressures, and body image ideals on the development of disordered eating behaviors. By analyzing these influences, we can advocate for more inclusive and body-positive narratives that promote self-acceptance and well-being. Moreover, addressing the topic of eating disorders is crucial for raising awareness about the available treatment options and support systems. It highlights the importance of early intervention, comprehensive treatment approaches, and access to mental health resources for those affected by these disorders.

1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). American Psychiatric Publishing. 2. Arcelus, J., Mitchell, A. J., Wales, J., & Nielsen, S. (2011). Mortality rates in patients with anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders: A meta-analysis of 36 studies. Archives of General Psychiatry, 68(7), 724-731. 3. Brown, T. A., Keel, P. K., & Curren, A. M. (2020). Eating disorders. In D. H. Barlow (Ed.), Clinical handbook of psychological disorders: A step-by-step treatment manual (6th ed., pp. 305-357). Guilford Press. 4. Fairburn, C. G., & Harrison, P. J. (2003). Eating disorders. The Lancet, 361(9355), 407-416. 5. Herpertz-Dahlmann, B., & Zeeck, A. (2020). Eating disorders in childhood and adolescence: Epidemiology, course, comorbidity, and outcome. In M. Maj, W. Gaebel, J. J. López-Ibor, & N. Sartorius (Eds.), Eating Disorders (Vol. 11, pp. 68-82). Wiley-Blackwell. 6. Hudson, J. I., Hiripi, E., Pope, H. G., & Kessler, R. C. (2007). The prevalence and correlates of eating disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biological Psychiatry, 61(3), 348-358. 7. Jacobi, C., Hayward, C., de Zwaan, M., Kraemer, H. C., & Agras, W. S. (2004). Coming to terms with risk factors for eating disorders: Application of risk terminology and suggestions for a general taxonomy. Psychological Bulletin, 130(1), 19-65. 8. Keski-Rahkonen, A., & Mustelin, L. (2016). Epidemiology of eating disorders in Europe: Prevalence, incidence, comorbidity, course, consequences, and risk factors. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 29(6), 340-345. 9. Smink, F. R. E., van Hoeken, D., & Hoek, H. W. (2012). Epidemiology of eating disorders: Incidence, prevalence and mortality rates. Current Psychiatry Reports, 14(4), 406-414. 10. Stice, E., Marti, C. N., & Rohde, P. (2013). Prevalence, incidence, impairment, and course of the proposed DSM-5 eating disorder diagnoses in an 8-year prospective community study of young women. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 122(2), 445-457.

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The association between eating disorders and mental health: an umbrella review

Eng joo tan.

1 School of Public Health and Preventive Medicine, Monash University Health Economics Group (MUHEG), Monash University, Melbourne, VIC 3004 Australia

Tejeesha Raut

2 Deakin Health Economics, Institute for Health Transformation, School of Health and Social Development, Deakin University, Burwood, VIC 3125 Australia

Long Khanh-Dao Le

Phillipa hay.

3 Translational Health Research Institute (THRI), School of Medicine, Western Sydney University, Locked Bag 1797, Penrith, NSW 2751 Australia

4 Camden and Campbelltown Hospital, SWSLHD, Campbelltown, NSW 2560 Australia

Jaithri Ananthapavan

5 Global Obesity Centre, Institute for Health Transformation, School of Health and Social Development, Deakin University, Burwood, VIC 3125 Australia

Yong Yi Lee

6 School of Public Health, The University of Queensland, QLD 4006 Herston, Australia

7 Policy and Epidemiology Group, Queensland Centre for Mental Health Research, QLD 4076 Wacol, Australia

Cathrine Mihalopoulos

Associated data.

All relevant data are within the manuscript and supplementary materials.

There have been an increasing number of systematic reviews indicating the association between eating disorders (ED), including its risk factors, with mental health problems such as depression, suicide and anxiety. The objective of this study was to conduct an umbrella review of these reviews and provide a top-level synthesis of the current evidence in this area.

A systematic search was performed using four databases (MEDLINE Complete, APA PyscInfo, CINAHL Complete and EMBASE). The inclusion criteria were systematic reviews (with or without meta-analysis), published in the English language between January 2015 and November 2022. The quality of the studies was assessed using the Joanna Briggs Institute Critical Appraisal tools for use of JBI Systematic reviews.

A total of 6,537 reviews were identified, of which 18 reviews met the inclusion criteria, including 10 reviews with meta-analysis. The average quality assessment score for the included reviews was moderate. Six reviews investigated the association between ED and three specific mental health problems: (a) depression and anxiety, (b) obsessive-compulsive symptoms and (c) social anxiety. A further 3 reviews focused on the relationship between ED and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) while 2 reviews focused on ED and suicidal-related outcomes. The remaining 7 reviews explored the association between ED and bipolar disorders, personality disorders, and non-suicidal self-injury. Depression, social anxiety and ADHD are likely to have a stronger strength of association with ED relative to other mental health problems.

Mental health problems such as depression, social anxiety and ADHD were found to be more prevalent among people suffering from eating disorders. Further research is necessary to understand the mechanism and health impacts of potential comorbidities of ED.

Supplementary Information

The online version contains supplementary material available at 10.1186/s40337-022-00725-4.

This review aimed to investigate the association between eating disorders (ED) and mental health problems. A review of existing systematic reviews was conducted to provide a top-level synthesis of the current evidence in this area. Our review found a total of 18 systematic reviews, which investigated the association between ED and a wide range of mental health problems. These conditions include depression and anxiety, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), social anxiety, personality disorders, suicidal-related outcomes, bipolar disorders and non-suicidal self-injury. Depression, social anxiety and ADHD are likely to have a stronger strength of association with ED relative to other mental health problems.

Introduction

Eating disorders (ED) such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorders lead to higher physical and psychological morbidity, disabilities, and mortality rates [ 1 ]. The prevalence of eating disorder is increasing, with the lifetime prevalence between 3.3 and 18.6% among women and between 0.8 and 6.5% among men [ 2 ]. Risk factors such as dieting and body dissatisfaction have been considered predictors of ED onset for many years [ 3 ]. Other predisposing factors of ED also include family history of EDs, having close relatives with a mental health problem, personal history of anxiety disorder, and behavioural inflexibility and sociocultural issues such as weight stigma, bullying or teasing and limited social networks [ 4 ].

Many studies have linked EDs to various mental health problems. For example, personality disorders can be found in a portion of patients with anorexia nervosa (AN) and bulimia nervosa (BN), and were encountered in the treatment of EDs [ 5 ]. Binge eating disorder (BED) has been found to impact mental health problems such as anxiety and depression which worsens health-related quality of life (HRQL) of an individual [ 6 ]. In a study of a nationally representative sample of 36,309 adults, all three EDs were associated with more than one comorbid somatic condition, which can range from lifetime mood disorders, anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder and alcohol and drug use disorders [ 7 ]. It has been widely recognized that individuals with EDs show higher rates of suicidality, which includes complete suicide, suicidal attempt, and suicidal ideation [ 8 ]. The negative perception of body image, a risk factor for ED, has also been linked to depression and obesity [ 9 ]. Individuals suffering from anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa also exhibit social anxiety disorders, have low self-esteem and more likely to feel nervous about their appearances in public places [ 10 – 12 ].

The significant burden of mental health problems necessitates a more comprehensive understanding of the relationship between mental health and ED. Recent evidence suggested that the burden of mental health problems has increased, with suicide as the second leading cause of death among 15–29 years and the annual global cost of depression and anxiety was estimated to be USD 1 trillion [ 13 ]. While previous studies and reviews have investigated the association between EDs and specific mental health problems such as anxiety, depression and substance use disorder, there is no existing review that provides a top-level summary of these associations by using a broader definition of mental health. Consequently, there is a lack of comparative analyses of the various mental health problems and their associations with ED. Addressing this gap in current research can assist researchers and clinicians to develop a suite of interventions that has the most impact on reducing the ED-mental health co-morbidity. In this context, an umbrella review is useful because it allows the findings of existing reviews to be compared and contrasted. Therefore, this umbrella review aims to synthesize contemporary evidence in order to better understand the relationship between eating disorders and various mental health problems across demographic and clinical factors.

This review adhered to the Joanna Brigg Institute (JBI) guidelines for umbrella reviews [ 14 ] and the PRISMA (Preferred Reporting Items for Systematic Reviews and Meta-Analyses) standards [ 15 ]. An ethics exemption for this research was approved by the Deakin University Human Research Ethics Committee (DUHREC) (ref. 202–1030). The protocol was registered with PROSPERO: International Prospective Register of Systematic Reviews (ref. CRD42021232372).

Search strategies and databases

In consultation with an experienced librarian, a literature search to identify potentially eligible publications was performed by the second author (TR) on 16 November 2020. A second literature search was performed by the first author (EJT) on 8 November 2022 to include potential studies published from 16 November 2020 onwards. Both searches were conducted via the EBSCOhost platform on four databases: MEDLINE Complete, APA PyscInfo, CINAHL Complete and EMBASE. The International Classification of Diseases version 10 (ICD-10) was used to define the mental health problems relevant to this review. For the purpose of this review, the disease category of disorders of psychological development, which included disorders related to speech, language, scholastic skills, motor function and autism were not considered. The search terms used in the study were various combinations of eating disorder keywords (e.g., “anorexi*”) and mental health keywords (e.g., “addiction”) using Boolean operators (or/and). Further details of the search terms can be found in Table S1 in the supplementary information file.

Inclusion and exclusion criteria

The aim of this umbrella review was to identify reviews of studies that investigated the association between eating disorders and mental health problems. Therefore, reviews that reported the association or consequences of EDs or ED risk factors and mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, substance use disorders were included. The inclusion criteria required studies to be systematic reviews with or without meta-analyses while scoping reviews, narrative reviews, or literatures reviews without quality assessment were excluded. For the purpose of this umbrella review, a study is considered a systematic review if it had a clearly formulated research question, reported systematic and reproducible methods to identify, select and critically appraise relevant research studies. The studies were limited to the general population although there were no age or gender restrictions on the participants. All the articles included in the study were human studies, published in the English language published in peer-reviewed journals within the last seven years i.e. from January 2015 to November 2022. Non-review studies such as cohort, prevalence, case-control or cross-sectional studies were excluded from this review. Reviews with the wrong setting, study design, outcomes or the patient population were excluded. Further details of the inclusion and exclusion criteria can be found in Table S2 in the supplementary information file.

Identification of relevant studies and data extraction

All studies from the database search results were imported into Endnote and duplicates were removed. The remaining studies were then uploaded to Covidence, an online systematic review management tool, for screening [ 16 ]. A two-stage screening process applying the inclusion and exclusion criteria was conducted: (a) title and abstract screening and (b) full-text screening. Both screening processes were done independently by two reviewers (TR, EJT) and any discrepancies were discussed and resolved by the third reviewer (LL). The following data were extracted from reviews that fulfilled the inclusion criteria: year of publication, number of included studies, type of eating disorders or risk factors of eating disorders, mental health problem, presence of meta-analysis component, study design, population description, country and effect size (if available). Data extraction was performed by TR and independently checked by EJT and LL.

Quality assessment

The bias and quality of the included reviews were assessed using the Joanna Briggs Institute Critical Appraisal tools for systematic reviews (The Joanna Briggs Institute, 2017). The purpose of this appraisal tool is to assess the methodological quality of the included studies and to determine the extent of the possibility of bias in design, conduct and analysis. The tool consists of 11 items (further details are available Table S2 in the supplementary information file) include three choices - “Yes”, “No” and “Unclear”. The total score on the scale is 11.

A total of 7,275 potentially relevant studies were identified from the database search. After duplicates were removed, 6,537 studies were available for screening. After title and abstract screening, 94 studies were progressed to full-text screening. Full-text screening resulted in 18 studies meeting the inclusion criteria and being included in the umbrella review. The PRISMA diagram shown in Fig.  1 reports the reason for exclusion for the remaining 76 studies with full-text review.

PRISMA flow diagram of included studies

Characteristics of included studies

Out of the 18 systematic reviews, ten included a meta-analysis component. There were six reviews investigating the association between ED or ED risk factors (e.g. body dissatisfaction) and three specific mental health problems: (a) depression and anxiety, (b) obsessive-compulsive symptoms and (c) social anxiety. Another three reviews focused on the relationship between ED and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) while two reviews focused on ED and suicidal-related outcomes. The remaining seven reviews explored the association between ED and bipolar disorders, personality disorders, and non-suicidal self-injury. Further details of the included studies are presented in Table  1 . The number of individual studies included within the reviews ranged from five to 122 studies with the majority of included studies being conducted using a cross-sectional study design. All but one review investigated the general population, including males and females, and the sample size ranged from 1,792 to 2,321,441 participants.

Summary of included reviews

SMD = standardized mean difference; OR = odds ratio

*The quality score was calculated from the total score out of 11 based on the Joanna Briggs Institute (JBI) Critical Appraisal Checklist for Systematic Reviews questionnaire

ED, depression and anxiety, obsessive compulsive symptoms and social anxiety

The evidence from two reviews [ 17 – 19 ] suggest that individuals afflicted with BED or disordered eating have a higher risk of experiencing negative mood, tension, sadness and emotional instability [ 19 ], which can further develop into depressive and anxiety symptoms [ 17 ]. However, limited evidence was found to support any link between disordered eating and obsessive-compulsive symptoms [ 17 ]. There is evidence to suggest that the relationship between anxiety and AN can be bi-directional. For example, the review by Lloyd et al. [ 18 ] demonstrated that the risk of anorexia is predicted to increase in adolescents and young adults diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Meanwhile, Kerr-Gaffney et al. [ 11 ] conducted a systematic review and meta-analysis and found that both BN and AN were associated with social anxiety with a medium effect size of 0.71 [95% CI 0.47, 0.95; p  < 0.001] and a large effect size of 1.65 [95% CI 1.03, 2.27; p  < 0.001], respectively as estimated using the Cohen’s d statistic. The authors concluded that individuals with AN or BN have high levels of social anxiety compared to healthy controls.

Several reviews have indicated that certain ED risk factors can potentially contribute to depression. The systematic review and meta-analysis conducted by Puccio et al. [ 20 ] suggested that eating pathology is one of the risk factors for depression and vice-versa. The effect of eating pathology on depression among 18,641 females aged 6–50 years was shown to be significant with an effect size of 0.13 (95% CI: 0.09 to 0.17, p  < 0.001), which was conducted on r values [ 19 ]. A systematic review of body image dissatisfaction and depression found that in men the perception of being underweight or dissatisfaction due to low weight was observed by idealizing a larger body, whereas women perceived their body larger than it was by idealizing a lean body [ 21 ]. Both of these conditions were associated with the presence of depression or depressive symptoms although the review was unable to conclude whether more severe body image dissatisfaction increased chances of also having depressive symptoms or both conditions co-exist.

ED and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

A systematic review conducted by Kaisari et al. [ 22 ] on disordered eating behaviour and (ADHD) among 115,418 participants (including both male and female populations) suggested that the impulsivity symptoms of ADHD were positively associated with overeating in AN and BN. Similarly, Levin & Rawana [ 23 ] explored the association between AN, BN and BED and ADHD among 74,852 participants and showed that childhood ADHD increases the risk of disordered eating or developing ED in later life. The systematic and meta-analysis of ED on ADHD by Nazar et al. [ 24 ] showed that the pooled odds ratio of diagnosing any ED in ADHD populations was 3.82 (95% CI 2.34–6.24). BN has the highest odds ratio (5.71, 95% CI 3.56–9.16) followed by AN (4.28, 95% CI 2.24–8.16) and BED (4.13, 95% CI 3.00–5.67). On the other hand, the pooled odds ratio of diagnosing ADHD in people with eating disorders was 2.57 (95% CI 1.30–5.11) [ 24 ].

ED and bipolar disorder

The systematic review by Álvarez Ruiz & Gutiérrez-Rojas [ 25 ] found that the severity of BN and BED in women was higher among patients with bipolar disorder. The evidence from their review suggested that there is a comorbidity between ED and bipolar disorder, with prevalence rate of EDs in bipolar disorder patients ranging from 5.3 to 31%. In addition, a more recent meta-analytic review of 47 studies reported the lifetime prevalence of AN, BN and BED as 3.8% (95% CI 2–6%), 7.4% (95% CI 6–10%) and 12.5% (95% CI 9.40–16.6%) among individuals with bipolar disorder, respectively [ 26 ].

ED and suicidal factors

A systematic review of 12 cross-sectional and 5 longitudinal studies on BED and suicidal factors among adolescents and adults found that BED is associated with a higher risk of suicide, including suicidal behaviours and ideation [ 8 ]. Similarly, the systematic review by Goldstein & Gvion [ 27 ], which included 36 cross-sectional studies and 2 longitudinal studies, suggested that eating disorders with purging behaviour, impulsivity and specific interpersonal features were associated with greater risk of suicidal behaviours.

ED and non-suicidal self-injury

A systematic review and meta-analysis by Cucchi et al. [ 28 ] reported that, among patients with various EDs, the prevalence of a lifetime history of non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) was 27.3% (95% CI 23.8–31.0%) for ED, 21.8% (95% CI 18.5–25.6%) for AN, and 32.7% (95% CI 26.9–39.1%) for BN. Based on 29 studies and 6,575 participants, the review concluded that NSSI is a significant correlate of ED and prevalent among adolescents and young adults with ED.

ED and personality disorders

The systematic review and meta-analysis conducted by Farstad et al. [ 29 ] on ED and personality disorders (PD) included 14 studies and showed that pooled prevalence rates of PD ranged from 0% (95% CI: 0–4%) (for schizoid) to 30% (95% CI 0–56%) (for obsessive-compulsive) in individuals with ED. The authors concluded that increases in perfectionism, neuroticism, low extraversion, sensitivity to social rewards, avoidance motivation, negative urgency and high-self-directedness was found in the people presenting with EDs. This finding is consistent with another review that investigated the association between EDs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder [ 30 ]. The authors found that nine symptoms of borderline personality disorder were significantly elevated in patients with EDs compared to controls.

In a meta-analytic review of 59 studies, the lifetime and current prevalence of obsessive-compulsive disorder was reported to be 13.9% [95% CI 10.4–18.1%] and 8.7% [95% CI 5.8–11.8%] respectively across EDs, which included all ED subtypes [ 31 ]. Another meta-analysis review reported lifetime comorbidity rates for obsessive-compulsive disorder of 19% in AN patients and 14% in BN patients based on cross-sectional studies [ 32 ]. These rates increased to 44% in AN patients and 18.5% in BN patients when longitudinal studies were considered.

Quality of included systematic reviews

The scores achieved by the included reviews ranged from 45% (i.e. 5 out of 11 questions) to 100% (i.e. 11 out of 11 questions). On average, the reviews met 72% of the JBI criteria. The details of the score are presented in Table S3 in the supplementary information file. Overall quality was acceptable and most reviews performed well in the design of review question, inclusion criteria, search strategy and criteria used for study appraisal. The main loss of scores were from the criteria of methods to minimize errors in data extraction and assessment of publication bias.

To the best of our knowledge, this is the first umbrella review to examine the overall evidence of the association between eating disorders and mental health across the age spectrum. While previous reviews were focused on investigating the relationship between eating disorders and specific mental health problems, our review captured all relevant mental health problems, including mental disorders, personality disorders and suicide-related outcomes. The findings of this review were synthesized from contemporaneous systematic reviews (i.e. in the last 7 years) and highlighted the growing body of evidence in this area, particularly the frequency of comorbidity of ED and mental health problems. In addition, our review provides a top-level summary of the strength of the association between the various mental health problems and eating disorders, and the direction of effect where possible.

A total of 643 individual studies were reviewed by the 18 systematic reviews included in this umbrella review. The synthesis of evidence revealed that there is a significant association between ED and mental health problems in general. However, among the various mental health problems investigated, only reviews focusing on depression, social anxiety and ADHD reported an effect size or odds ratio from their respective meta-analysis. Therefore, based on quantitative evidence, the association between these three mental health problems and ED is more prominent compared to other mental health problems. There is also evidence to suggest that depression and anxiety are significantly associated with different types of EDs and their risk factors. For example, symptoms of depression and anxiety were often observed in individuals suffering from AN, BN and BED or those with ED risk factors such as body dissatisfaction [ 16 , 21 ]. Interestingly, existing research shows that childhood ADHD increased the risk of disordered eating or developing ED in later life and vice versa while the risk of ADHD in individuals with ED is increased three-fold, compared to control groups [ 24 ]. This phenomenon is particularly relevant for prevention efforts given that diagnosis of ADHD in young girls or women can be delayed or missed [ 33 ]. As such, there are potential shared benefits to be gained when addressing both conditions. Further research is required to explore the underlying mechanisms and comorbidity between EDs and mental disorders. The prevention or treatment of this comorbidity also needs to be addressed by future intervention studies.

While females continue to be disproportionately affected by ED, including through its association with other mental health problems, there is also growing evidence to indicate the adverse impacts of the ED-mental disorder comorbidity on the male population. For example, the correlation between the risk of developing eating pathology due to childhood ADHD was observed to be stronger in males compared to females [ 23 ]. Furthermore, restrictive eating behaviour has been linked to ADHD-related hyperactivity symptoms in boys although the causal pathway is still not fully understood [ 34 , 35 ] As the population group investigated by the reviews included in this study was predominantly females, the association between ED and mental health may be underestimated in males. A balanced representation of the two sexes should be considered in future studies and will lead to an improved understanding of the function of gender in this emerging comorbidity.

Our umbrella review also reported that most of the research were undertaken in high-income countries, whereas limited studies have been conducted in low- and middle-income countries. This is not surprising given that previous evidence have indicated a severe scarcity of mental health research resources in low- and middle-income countries, especially in Asian and African countries [ 36 ]. Furthermore, ED-related epidemiology research in low- and middle-income countries often focused on prevalence studies and less on comorbidity between ED and mental health problems [ 37 ]. Therefore, there is a need to address this gap in the literature and investigate the generalizability of present evidence across different regions.

One of the limitations of our umbrella review is that it did not include reviews published in languages other than English. In addition, our literature search was limited to the last 7 years, therefore, reviews published before 2015 were not considered. However, it is likely that the more recent reviews in our study have included previous evidence. Another limitation is that no recent individual studies were included. Although this omission may have an impact on the findings of our study, it is unlikely to change the overall conclusion.

Overall, there may be several clinical implications from our findings. First, there is a need to increase awareness and screening for ED in general mental health settings and broader demographics. Compared to general mental health, ED is often underdiagnosed in primary care and therefore the health burden of ED is largely hidden even though it is substantial [ 38 , 39 ]. Second, it is necessary to address the unmet need for treatment of ED. Evidence has shown that although a majority of community cases with a diagnosable ED who seek treatment received treatment for weight loss, only a small proportion received appropriate mental health care [ 40 ]. There is a need to promote supported integrated treatments such as the introduction of mood intolerance module in temperament based therapy with supports [ 41 ].

The outcome of the umbrella review suggests that eating disorders and mental health problems are significantly associated with each other. Mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, suicidal attempts are found to be more prevalent among people suffering from eating disorders. EDs also arise from impulsive behaviours, poor emotion regulation, history of childhood physical and emotional abuse, pain tolerance and interpersonal fears such as perceived burdensomeness [ 16 , 27 ]. Our findings suggest that there is a need for further research to understand the health impacts of eating disorder and mental disorder comorbidities. For instance, there is a limited assessment of risk factors of suicide in people with ED and, therefore, historical and contemporary data need to be collected in order to better understand the risk of suicide in ED. Further efforts should also be made to identify effective and cost-effective interventions for the prevention or treatment of ED and its comorbidities.

Acknowledgements

Not applicable.

Author contributions

EJT and LKDL conceptualized and designed the study. TR, EJT, LKDL contributed to the acquisition, analysis, and interpretation of data for the work, drafted the initial manuscript, and reviewed and revised the manuscript. PH, JA, YYL and CM contributed to the conception and design of the work and the acquisition, analysis, and interpretation of data for the work and critically revised the manuscript. All authors approved the final manuscript as submitted and agree to be accountable for all aspects of the work.

This study was funded by the National Health and Medical Research Council Ideas Grant (APP1183225). LKDL is funded by the Alfred Deakin Postdoctoral Research Fellow. The funder of the study had no role in study design, data collection, data analysis, data interpretation, or writing of the report. The corresponding author had full access to all the data in the study and had final responsibility for the decision to submit for publication.

Availability of data and materials

Declarations.

An ethics exemption for this research was approved by the Deakin University Human Research Ethics Committee (DUHREC) (ref. 2021-030).

Dr Long Le is a Guest Editor for the collection of “Environmental Influences on Eating disorders, Disordered eating and Body Image” in Journal of Eating Disorders. All other authors do have any competing interest to declare.

Publisher’s Note

Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

Contributor Information

Eng Joo Tan, Email: [email protected] .

Long Khanh-Dao Le, Email: [email protected] .

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

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Personal Statement - overcoming an eating disorder Forum

Personal Statement - overcoming an eating disorder

Post by leggy1T1 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:16 pm

Re: Personal Statement - overcoming an eating disorder

Post by ShuckingNotJiving » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:40 pm

Post by ShuckingNotJiving » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:49 pm

leggy1T1 wrote: it is a tragedy that these highly intelligent individuals should effect so little change in the world.

leggy1T1 wrote: I think the barriers we build are often more potent than those imposed upon us, for what do we rebel against but our very souls? And who is there to guide us along the way but the only person we resent?

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:50 pm

Post by jayn3 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:59 pm

I am always hungry. Sometimes physically, most often intellectually, hunger organizes my world. It is both my greatest strength and my most perilous weakness. It makes me impatient to learn new languages, to understand the world, to explore places I have never been. It makes me hungry to help others, to protect the environment, to evoke the most beautiful melodies. But it is also an importune human necessity, a bodily desire that I enjoyed conquering. The same hunger that feeds my ambition gnaws at my empty stomach, daring me to eat when eating seems like an impossible chore.

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:07 pm

Post by superjohnnnn » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:09 pm

Post by JazzOne » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:11 pm

ShuckingNotJiving wrote: Awesome. I really, really liked this essay in it's entirety. I don't think I've ever said that on this board. One suggestion, take out this sentence: leggy1T1 wrote: it is a tragedy that these highly intelligent individuals should effect so little change in the world.

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:14 pm

Post by Dany » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:14 pm

Post by merichard87 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:20 pm

Post by midwestls » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:25 pm

Post by ShuckingNotJiving » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:25 pm

Post by jayn3 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:27 pm

My hunger to study law was born from the realization that I want to be active in the historical narrative I have studied as an undergraduate. My twin interests in history and biology ironically convinced me that academia was not the route I wanted to take. To my mind it is self-rewarding but ultimately not self-fulfilling. I watch my father (a biologist) struggle to bring his research into the realm of conservation policy, while my mentors (historians) painstakingly construct elements of the past only to retreat from the present. it is a tragedy that these highly intelligent individuals should effect so little change in the world.

My hunger for history has led me to forgotten fashion journals from the French Revolution, material culture in 1920s England, and current research on U.S. environmental policy. But lately I have become hungry for more: instead of merely studying history, I want to engage with the past for the benefit of the future. This is why I volunteer at The Arboretum, a conservation area adjacent to the University of Guelph, and why I use my musical knowledge to teach piano. Nothing satisfies my hunger for life as much as witnessing the revelation on a student’s face when he or she finally learns a new technical skill.

Post by JazzOne » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:29 pm

ShuckingNotJiving wrote: I am always hungry. Sometimes physically, most often intellectually, hunger organizes my world. It is both my greatest strength and my most perilous weakness. It makes me impatient to learn new languages, to understand the world, to explore places I have never been. It makes me hungry to help others, to protect the environment, to evoke the most beautiful melodies. But it is also an importune human necessity, a bodily desire that I enjoyed conquering. The same hunger that feeds my ambition gnaws at my empty stomach, daring me to eat when eating seems like an impossible chore.

Post by ShuckingNotJiving » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:33 pm

midwestls wrote: There are probably admissions committees it will turn off, but others will like it.

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:46 pm

Post by ShuckingNotJiving » Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:01 pm

CanadianWolf wrote: I think that you should consider writing on a new topic. As it is, your best hope is that admissions officers read your first line, realize where it's going & move on to the next essay. In my opinion, if your entire essay consisted of only the introductory sentence "I am always hungry." it would be much more effective even though risky.

Post by leggy1T1 » Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:24 pm

Post by leggy1T1 » Tue Aug 17, 2010 5:46 pm

Post by Marionberry » Tue Aug 17, 2010 5:58 pm

Post by 094320 » Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:11 pm

Post by Dany » Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:20 pm

acrossthelake wrote: I would scrap mention of your eating disorder entirely. What does it add, exactly? What is it supposed to show that you couldn't demonstrate separately? Your interest/"hunger" for these other things can be discussed without mentioning your eating disorder. If you're trying to say "I overcame something difficult", I just don't think it's worth it. You're writing is good--but this is more material for a personal essay that you would submit to the Arts section of a magazine, not to law school. If you were on the admissions committee, what would you think? "Okay. She overcame an eating disorder. What else?" You might cast doubt in their minds that you can handle law school--plenty of people relapse under extreme stress--especially if it's still a large enough part of your identity that you feel compelled to write about it for your personal statement. Your personal statement is your one shot to show them who you are--and you're defining yourself by a disorder, when there are probably other traits/characteristics that are more positive and compelling that you could dedicate that space to.

Post by Marionberry » Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:27 pm

eskimo wrote: acrossthelake wrote: I would scrap mention of your eating disorder entirely. What does it add, exactly? What is it supposed to show that you couldn't demonstrate separately? Your interest/"hunger" for these other things can be discussed without mentioning your eating disorder. If you're trying to say "I overcame something difficult", I just don't think it's worth it. You're writing is good--but this is more material for a personal essay that you would submit to the Arts section of a magazine, not to law school. If you were on the admissions committee, what would you think? "Okay. She overcame an eating disorder. What else?" You might cast doubt in their minds that you can handle law school--plenty of people relapse under extreme stress--especially if it's still a large enough part of your identity that you feel compelled to write about it for your personal statement. Your personal statement is your one shot to show them who you are--and you're defining yourself by a disorder, when there are probably other traits/characteristics that are more positive and compelling that you could dedicate that space to.

Post by paratactical » Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:29 pm

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Christina Applegate Speaks Candidly About Her Early Experience With An Eating Disorder

Senior Culture Reporter, HuffPost

Christina Applegate is speaking candidly about her early experience with an eating disorder for the first time.

On Monday’s episode of her “MeSsy” podcast, Applegate recalls how her struggles with body image began in childhood while in conversation with fellow actor Jamie-Lynn Sigler. Her obsession with staying thin, she said, intensified after she landed the role of Kelly Bundy on the Fox sitcom “ Married... With Children ,” which premiered in 1987.

“I wanted my bones to be sticking out, so I didn’t eat,” she explained. “It was very scary to everyone on set because they were like: ‘Christina never eats.’ And I didn’t.”

She went on to note: “If I did eat something, I’d punish myself. I was never bulimic or anything like that, I just deprived myself of food for years and years and years. It was torture.”

“Married... With Children” wrapped in 1997 after 11 seasons. Applegate, however, continued to grapple with her eating disorder while working on her next major project, NBC’s “ Jesse .” During rehearsals for that series’ second and final season, which aired in 2000, the actor said some of her size zero costumes had to be taken in because she’d become so thin.

Applegate’s turning point came at some point in her 30s.

“I was sitting on the toilet, and I saw only bones. And it scared the shit out of me,” she said. Her recovery process, however, was just as daunting: “I’d get a smoothie, but I could only drink a third of it. I’d have to throw it out. I’d have to put sugar on my salty food and salt on my sugary food. I would destroy my food so I wouldn’t eat it ― it was so methodical.”

Though Applegate learned to accept her body over the years, she acknowledged that the “demon in my head” has been “coming back really loud” following her diagnosis with multiple sclerosis, after which she gained about 45 pounds.

“I need to be aware of it so I don’t start falling into bad habits of hurting myself,” she said.

Applegate first confirmed her multiple sclerosis, or MS, diagnosis in 2021, although she now believes she was exhibiting signs of the disease much earlier. Symptoms of the chronic autoimmune condition include tremors, fatigue, vision loss, slurred speech and weakness in limbs.

The “Dead to Me” actor and Sigler, who also has MS, launched “MeSsy” in March. The podcast explores “the curveballs that life can throw,” including health-related issues.

Last year, Applegate spoke out against an online commenter who claimed that the changes to her appearance were the work of a “bad plastic surgeon,” not MS.

“Of course I told her that it wasn’t nice. This was her reply,” Applegate wrote on X , formerly Twitter, at the time, alongside a screenshot of the woman’s remarks. “What is wrong with people? By the way, I laughed.”

Listen to the May 14 episode of “MeSsy” below.

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org for support.

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