examples of personal statements for educational psychology

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Successful Personal Statement For Psychological and Behavioural Sciences At Cambridge

Last Updated: 6th April 2022

Author: Rob Needleman

Table of Contents

Welcome to our popular Personal Statement series where we present a successful Personal Statement, and our Oxbridge Tutors provide their feedback on it. 

Today, we are looking through a Psychological and Behavioural Sciences (PBS) applicant’s Personal Statement that helped secure a place at Cambridge University. The PBS Course at Cambridge gives you the opportunity to study cognitive, social, developmental and biological psychology within the broader context of the behavioural sciences.

Read on to see how this candidate demonstrates their interest in the behavioural sciences.   

Here’s a breakdown of the Personal Statement (the applicant uses most of the 4,000 characters available):

SUCCESSFUL?

The universities this candidate applied to were the following:

Enrolling on our Oxbridge Psychology comprehensive Programme will give you access to Personal Statement redrafts. 

Your tutor will give you actionable feedback with insider tips on how to improve and make your Personal Statement Oxbridge quality for the best chances of success.  

Psychological and Behavioural Sciences Personal Statement

”Such a shame she will not study medicine!” I heard several times as my interests finally steered into a university degree. Having grown up with my mum – a psychologist, from primary school I constantly questioned human behaviour. And although parents from small towns dream of their children becoming doctors, phenomena that I saw in my surroundings, like eating disorders or extreme shyness, relentlessly attracted my attention. I knew I needed to pursue an intense educational path to gain the depth of knowledge I desired.

My exceptional curiosity led me to follow the IBO program. Thanks to its curriculum, I relished the opportunity to extend my private research and put it into academic framework. While working independently on my Extended Essay “Should introversion be treated?” I discovered Susan Cain and her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts”. My puzzle of introversion developed into educated distinction for introversion, social anxiety disorder and behavioural inhibitions. In addition, the EE helped me understand the role of biology, encouraging me to start an online course “Introduction to psychology” taught by the University of Toronto. My curiosity still reaches far beyond these introductions and I am looking forward to studying details of brain lobes during biological modules of the course. Moreover, since the subject of eating disorders is too sensitive to be researched in high school, I cannot wait to approach it at an academic level and discuss it with world class experts.

My in-depth, intense processing applies not only to theory, but I also appreciate the material world we live in. Hence, to step out of my comfort zone and into reality, I attended a Business Week program organised by Washington City in Gdansk. My initial function as Vice-President for a business simulation left me with a deep aspiration for a better performance. Therefore, I followed-up Business Week program with an advanced option and became the CEO of my team. Right then I started to appreciate the contribution of every member. I took real pleasure in guiding my team through the processes of marketing, pricing, R&D, production and the construction of a business plan, all of which I understood quickly and precisely thanks to analytical thinking skills I developed during a demanding Maths HL course.

My commitment and eagerness to learn may also be seen by the title of a finalist in the French Language Olympiad, meaning that I reached an advanced level in just two years. Furthermore, I participated in two exchange projects with a Provencal theatre to check my linguistic competencies with native speakers. Although both exchanges were awarded with European Language Label, what counted most was my exceptional chance to explore the French culture inside out. My other interests include French literature, contemporary dancing, horse riding and behavioural economics. The latter led me to the online course organised by the University of Queensland, Australia. The course outlined concepts from Daniel Kahneman’s “Thinking Fast and Slow”, of which planning fallacy and confirmation bias I consider of greatest importance. Moreover, thanks to good time management I constantly look for other initiatives, such as a charity campaign or volunteering in teaching English or organising TriMUN as Deputy Secretary General. During TriMUN I explained to participants how to follow all the diplomatic procedures – those activities made me wonder about different approaches I had to take in order to teach.

I no longer want psychology to remain only an interest of mine; instead, I need dependable academic tools to understand the research already done. As psychology is a relatively new field of science, early starting form Wundt in 1879, there is still space for much more to be done. I believe that a strong scientific background is crucial for building a career involving communicating with people efficiently and helping them function optimally in our complex material world.

For more inspiration, take a look through our other successful Personal Statement a nalysis articles:

Successful Personal Statement For Natural Science (Physical) At Cambridge

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Good Points Of The Personal Statement

This candidate is able to identify a range of ways in which they have developed their interest in their subject area beyond the demands of their current courses of school-level study. They are also able to demonstrate that they have thought clearly and carefully about what kinds of material they might encounter at undergraduate level, and how that intersects with both their current interests and their potential areas of interest in the future. In order to have arrived at these opinions, the candidate has read a range of texts, and is able to utilise their thoughts on these texts in their statement. As such, they draw together various aspects of their academic pursuits in order to fully paint the picture of themselves as a motivated and tenacious academic student.

Bad Points Of The Personal Statement

While the candidate is generally able to express themselves clearly, there are moments where the syntax and exact choices of vocabulary seem slightly stilted, suggesting perhaps a non-native speaker or an unedited statement. This slight lapse in language skill does present areas where the communication level is affected, and therefore puts pressure on the content of the statement as a whole. The statement also relies heavily on anecdotal evidence and does include some slightly uncomfortable generalities. In addition, the candidate would benefit from perhaps adjusting the tone of their moments of personal reflection; the statement has the potential to be read in a way that suggests the writer is arrogant or pompous, and it may well be that this is solely down to word choice rather than intention.

UniAdmissions Overall Score:

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

Although this statement illustrates the candidate’s academic fervour, it does also show areas for potential improvement. It would have been beneficial for the statement as a whole had the candidate maintained a clear and developed level of academic prose throughout, and they could have more clearly linked some of their extra-curricular activities to their chosen course of study. In addition, while the candidate ably discusses texts that they have read in preparation for undergraduate study, these discussions could have taken prominence in the statement, over and above the inclusion of more personal or anecdotal material.

This Personal Statement for Psychology is a good example of demonstrating interest. The candidate’s passion is clearly shown which is vital to Admissions Tutors.

Remember, at Cambridge, these Admissions Tutors are often the people who will be teaching you for the next few years, so you need to appeal directly to them.

There are plenty more successful personal statements and expert guides on our Free Personal Statement Resources page.

Our expert tutors are on hand to help you craft the perfect Personal Statement for your Cambridge PBS application.

With our  Oxbridge Psychology Premium Programme, we help you craft the perfect Personal   Statement , score highly on the TSA and teach you how to  Interview effectively .

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The time has come to write a personal statement, but you do not know where to begin. No worries, writing about yourself is no easy task. After all, there’s only so much you can fit when writing a personal statement.

What is a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a required essay done by a prospective candidate in an educational setting whether they are applying for a scholarship, graduate school admission, studying abroad, fellowship program, etc. However, it should not be confused with being the same as a statement of purpose. A statement of purpose strictly focuses on how your achievements, such as professional or academic, can benefit the program you are applying to . In contrast, a personal statement allows more creativity and freedom to develop within the applicant. Occasionally, personal statements may come with specific questions about what to write about.

Why Should They Choose You?

Although it is important to emphasize your achievements, whether it be academic or professional, the person reading your statement wants to get to know you better through your background information and what inspired you to pursue your goals. Overall, it’s important to ask yourself these questions when considering writing a personal statement:

●  What exact moment led you to be where you are today?

●  What separates you from the rest of the candidates?

●  What personal traits or qualities do you have that will help you succeed?

●  What do your story, goals, or skills obtained bring to the table?

Are You the Right Fit?

Although the focus of a personal statement is yourself, you must consider that you’re applying to a specific institution or program that offers specific opportunities. Not everyone will be the right fit and that’s okay, there are many opportunities for you to join. However, if you truly want to get in and be accepted, you must try to make a connection with your audience. Mention how the school or program will help you succeed and accomplish your goals. This goes back to what you bring to the table.

The unique trait about personal statements is that no two are alike. Everybody’s story is different. The requirements for each application vary in length, format, and topics. Nevertheless, having a concrete idea of how to organize your thoughts and ideas before you submit your final draft saves a lot of stress and time when the deadline comes. If you need an idea of where to start, brainstorm, or organize your thoughts, below is an example of a structure for your layout that may help you in getting out of that writing block:

Introduction:

-   Introduce a memory that leads back to where your interest or passion started or motivated you be where you are today

-   Give a sneak peek to your reader in a quick summary as to what you’re going to be talking about in your body paragraph (background information, accomplishments, & future aspirations from being admitted into the school or program)

*Note: Introductions should be a brief paragraph of everything you’re going to be writing about, leave the details for your body paragraphs.

A) 1 st Paragraph (Background Information)

What’s your undergraduate major/degree or other educational history?

What part of your demographic information is relevant? (hometown, heritage, family

history, etc.)

What’s an obstacle or challenge that changed the way you viewed your life?

Make sure be able make one connection to all three, it’ll make it easier for your

reader to follow through with your story and understand your goals

If deciding to write about an obstacle or challenge, remember to not solely focus on

the negative experience of it. Instead, try thinking about what you were able to take

from the experience and how did it change you as a person.

B) 2nd Paragraph (Academic and Professional Achievements)

Any organizations you’ve joined or rewards you’ve obtained? (The more you have

done, the better)

What skills have you’ve obtained through participating in any organizations, events,

jobs, etc.? C) 3 rd Paragraph (Future Goals and Accomplishments)

What is the next step after being admitted?

What do you hope to learn or take from being part of the program?

How will you apply it to your desired goal?

Conclusion:

Restate your goals in one or two sentences

Talk about what you envision for your future, what do you hope to gain from all of this?

What will you benefit from being on the program?

What do you contribute to the program?

How will you apply everything you learned?

*Note: Your concluding/closing paragraphs are usually short with a maximum of three or four sentences, leave out any details.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, there are several things to remind yourself of when writing a personal statement: focus on answering the main questions, tell your story, and use examples of any challenge or obstacle that you faced throughout your life. If you decide to focus on a challenge or obstacle, think about the tone you will use. Writing about this challenge or obstacle focuses on the learning experience or the opportunity rather than solely on the negative parts. Remember, you’ve worked hard enough to get where you are today. Hopefully, you can get started on that personal statement you’ve been procrastinating on, and good luck on whatever path you decide to pursue.

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Personal Statements (for Graduate School)

Personal Statements carry weight—they are often the first document admissions committees consider. To grab the attention of reviewers right away, then, you want to clearly express your purpose and personal investment in a specific program as soon as possible. Throughout your statement, you also want to express a clear understanding of where you are applying, who your audience is, and how you see yourself "fitting in" with the current program design.

Key Rhetorical Considerations

• Audience. Who might be reading your personal statement? What will resonate with them? Do not be afraid to mention specific names and faculty research areas.
• Purpose. Be unique and present a clear and specific angle—that is, what you want to study and why. Try to sum up the intersections at which you want to study.
• Context. What type of program are you applying to? What research trends and ideas will immediately resonate with a particular school and program? With what larger research topics are you aligning yourself—what scholarly and professional conversations are you entering?
• Tone. While you want to come across as a professional, you also want to express a collegial and passionate tone. Be personal , but make clear connections between your personal story and its relevance to your work.
• Style. Fine-tune your sentences to make them more readable and concise . Demonstrate your voice (how you might talk in conversation) and individuality, but be as direct and engaging as possible. Also, change up the pace and structure of your sentences—e.g. consider posing a series of questions to get your reader thinking.
• Organization. Your story matters, but as a rule of thumb do not take longer than two paragraphs to state your angle as a scholar. Your purpose for applying should guide your statement—don't go on a tangent that cannot be connected back to your purpose.
• Terminology. What do your readers need to know, especially if you want them to fully grasp the importance of your work? Define , as concisely as possible, key terms. You will likely not know everyone who's reading your document, so don't take for granted your audience's knowledge of terms and jargon.

Personal Statement "Do's"

• Write in first-person—your statement should be about you!
• Be specific—Depth over Breadth should be your general rule.
• Follow the school's instructions regarding length and subject matter. Stick to their questions.
• Establish (with clarity) your career goals and your interest in attending graduate school.
• Talk about your interests and research. Include any material, skills, or experiences that make you different. In other words, what about you stands out from the rest and how can you demonstrate that in your application?
• Discuss the most important experiences that have prepared you for grad school.
• Keep your tone positive; focus on the affirmative, rather than the negative.
• Tell what you know about your field. Do research if necessary. Use the language of your field.
• Write your statement to the particular school/program you're applying to. Address the school/program's unique qualities and opportunities that are of interest to you.
• Be consistent across your application.
• Use strong, vivid verbs whenever possible; avoid passive voice and "to be" verbs (be, is, am, was, were, been, being).
• Polish your essay for grammar, spelling, and overall conciseness.

Personal Statement "Dont's"

• Don't just repeat what is in your resume. If you want to talk about an experience on your resume, be sure to go in depth.
• Don't assume you're going to get into the school you're applying to, or that your statement is better than others. Avoid hints of arrogance or elitism.
• Don't preach to your reader. You don't want to come off as a know-it-all or fanatic. Avoid discussing controversial issues like religion and politics.
• Don't state conclusions about yourself or your knowledge without providing support.
• Don't use quotations from other sources or people.
• Don't talk about high school unless it is highly relevant.
• Don't use clichés or gimmicks.

Questions to Consider as You Develop Your Statement

• What kind of program(s) are you applying to? What are you going to grad school for? What do you want to be studying?
• What do you hope to get out of the program? What specifically is drawing you to the program you're applying to?
• What are your professional goals? How does getting your graduate degree work toward those goals?
• Why have you chosen the field/interest you are pursuing? What experiences have you had to prepare you for grad school or this particular field?
• What's going to make you stand out? What's unique, distinctive, or impressive about you or your story? What details about your life and experiences might help the program better understand you, or separate you from other applicants?
• Do you know of / have you contacted someone in your prospective field regarding expectations for applicants? If so, what are some things you should keep in mind about personal statement writing based on your field?

Outline Example

Note: All schools are unique, and length requirements vary. This specific outline may not suit the expectations of your program. Adjust accordingly.

• Paragraph 1: Clearly state your purpose and what inspired it.

"In the PhD program in Social Psychology at Miami University, I want to study at the intersection of X and Y. This interest stems from..."

• Paragraphs 2-3 (or your first body paragraphs): Draw on specific scholarly work you've completed and be specific in detailing a project.

"In the Young Scholars program at (undergraduate institution), I conducted research on..."

• Paragraph 4: Touch on scholarly and professional opportunities at the institution (to which you are applying) and how you can contribute to standing programs (e.g. working in a lab, the counseling center, a research institute, a teaching assistantship, etc.)

"I am drawn to professional development opportunities in your program, particularly the possibility of assisting with scholarly and administrative projects as a research fellow..."

• Paragraph 5: Conclude with a specific project or research avenue you may want to explore, and (if appropriate) whom you would like to work with. Though your work is unique, make it clear how you can benefit this program and how the program can benefit you. Remember you will be an advocate for the program you will join, so demonstrate you care about it.

"I am excited at the possibility of working with (Professor X) and learning more about her commitment to (X area of study)..."

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Chapter 4: Sample Personal Statements and Application Essays

Easy writing makes hard reading.

—Ernest Hemingway

As a graduate student taking fiction writing workshops many moons ago, I recall what was most motivating to me as a creative writer. It wasn’t the reading of published or award-winning work, and it wasn’t the classroom critique given on high from the professor nor the scribble from my classmates on my manuscripts. All these things were helpful and valuable, but nothing motivated me more than comparing my fiction to the work of my peers. As I read their work carefully, both objectively and subjectively, I found myself thinking at times that I was sure I could write better than the others around me at the seminar table—then I’d read an artful, poignant story that made me wonder whether I could ever even compete.

Perhaps somewhere between these two attitudes is the most profitable approach when studying the work of your peers. In critiquing the work of others who essentially represent your competition, you should take a respectful stance both critical and kind, just as selection committee members are likely to do. The sample essays in this chapter represent personal stories that are intriguing, diverse, complex, honest, and humanizing. These samples present opportunities for you to study, admire, question, emulate, reject, and—most importantly—consider how to present the best, truest, most effective picture of yourself, carefully refined for the eyes of others.

Websites with sample personal statements abound. Here are two:

Sample personal statements categorized by major at eduers.com

Sample personal statements including reader comments from studential.com

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My Personal Philosophy in Education

This essay about educational philosophy outlines a framework based on holistic growth, equity, and innovation. It emphasizes the importance of humanism, pragmatism, and diversity in fostering an inclusive and supportive learning environment. The author advocates for social justice and equity in education, aiming to dismantle systemic barriers and empower individuals. The essay also stresses the importance of emotional well-being, collaboration, and lifelong learning, portraying education as a means for personal growth and societal transformation.

How it works

In the kaleidoscope of educational philosophies, mine emerges as a mosaic of dynamic principles and values, reflecting a commitment to holistic growth, equity, and innovation. Rooted in the fertile soil of humanism, pragmatism, and a deep reverence for diversity, my educational philosophy is an ever-evolving journey of discovery and transformation.

To me, education is more than the mere transfer of knowledge; it is a sacred endeavor that nourishes minds, sparks curiosity, and empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of the world with confidence and compassion.

In my classroom, learning is a collaborative adventure, where students are encouraged to explore, question, and construct meaning in a supportive and inclusive environment.

Central to my philosophy is the belief in the inherent dignity and worth of every individual. I recognize that each student brings a unique set of experiences, talents, and perspectives to the learning community, and it is my duty as an educator to honor and celebrate this diversity. Inclusivity is not just a buzzword but a guiding principle, ensuring that every voice is heard, valued, and respected.

Moreover, my philosophy of education is deeply rooted in the principles of equity and social justice. I am acutely aware of the systemic barriers that hinder access to quality education for marginalized communities, and I am committed to dismantling these barriers through advocacy, activism, and culturally responsive pedagogy. Education, in my view, is a powerful tool for social change, empowering individuals to challenge injustice and build a more equitable and inclusive society.

In addition to academic excellence, I prioritize the social and emotional well-being of my students. I believe that education should nurture not only intellect but also empathy, resilience, and self-awareness. Therefore, I create a nurturing and supportive learning environment where students feel safe to take risks, express themselves authentically, and develop the skills and dispositions needed to thrive in an ever-changing world.

Collaboration is another cornerstone of my educational philosophy. I believe in the power of collective intelligence, wherein diverse perspectives come together to generate innovative solutions to complex problems. By fostering a culture of collaboration, I empower students to work together towards common goals, learn from one another, and contribute positively to their communities.

Finally, my philosophy of education is grounded in a commitment to lifelong learning and professional growth. As an educator, I recognize that my journey is one of continuous growth and development, and I am dedicated to staying abreast of the latest research, pedagogical practices, and technological advancements in the field. Through ongoing reflection, inquiry, and collaboration with colleagues, I strive to enhance my practice and create meaningful learning experiences for my students.

In conclusion, my personal philosophy in education is a dynamic tapestry of values, principles, and practices that prioritize holistic growth, equity, and innovation. It is a philosophy that celebrates diversity, fosters curiosity, and empowers individuals to become agents of positive change in their communities and beyond. As an educator, I am committed to upholding these values in my teaching practice, my interactions with students and colleagues, and my contributions to the broader educational community.

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Why Personal Statement

A good personal statement supports your application to study at a university

Be concise and use your natural style

Personal Statement Creator and Sample Personal Statements

Create a Personal Statemen t and view examples of personal statement. Learn about how to write a personal statement for university or college applications. Know  how to start a personal statement.

Many students may apply to the same university course with the same grades as you. A well written personal statement can mean the difference between standing out from the crowd and your application being rejected.

Personal statements are generally read by admission managers or professors who serve on an admissions committee in the department to which you are applying. Personal statement gives you a chance to sell yourself to the university in a small and easy-to-digest paragraph.

What is personal statement format ?

A personal statement is like a short reflective essay you write about why you’re the perfect candidate for the course you’re applying to.

A good personal statement supports your application to study at a university . It’s an opportunity for you to express why you like to study a particular course and what skills and experience you possess that show your inclination towards the selected subject area. Basically you are telling admissions staff why you’re suitable to study at their university or college.

It’s important to remember that personal statement is same even if you are applying at different universities. So its better to avoid mentioning any university by name.

Here are some useful sample personal statements you can refer . Once you are ready to write a personal statement, click on the ‘Create Personal Statement’ button below.

Writing Personal Statement

• Be concise and use your natural style. Show enthusiasm if you can
• Mention any award , praise or even personal satisfaction you achieve when you study the course you are applying for
• Do not criticize any other university , student or professors in your personal statement
• It is always better to read aloud your personal statement and get your teachers or friends to recheck. Read at least two times and see if there are any grammatical or spelling errors
• Mention your skills and experiences in the relevant subject area and why this area interests you
• You may include any musical or sporting club you belong to or any hobby you feel is worth mentioning
• If you have done any voluntary service you can mention that in your personal statement

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