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Mastering how to write a conversation in an essay.

Updated: May 29, 2024

Ever felt your essay lacked that spark to truly immerse the reader? Writing conversations in essays can be tricky, balancing authenticity with academic rigor. To write a conversation effectively, use dialogue to add depth, emotional resonance, or clarify the content, ensuring it captures attention and feels realistic. In this blog post, we'll explore how to skillfully integrate dialogue into your essays, from understanding its purpose to mastering formatting rules like APA and MLA.

Understanding Dialogue in Essays

Dialogue in essays is not just about replicating spoken words but about enhancing the narrative and providing depth to the characters and the situation. It serves several key purposes: it can advance the plot, reveal hidden motives, or highlight conflicts. In narrative essays, dialogue breathes life into characters, making them more relatable and vivid to the reader. Similarly, in argumentative essays, it can illustrate points more dynamically and engage the reader more effectively than a simple exposition might.

The importance of dialogue in essays cannot be overstated. It transforms the reading experience by adding layers of meaning and emotion that pure descriptive text cannot achieve. For instance, dialogue can:

• Showcase a character’s personality and speech patterns,
• Build tension or suspense through interactions,
• Provide insights into the plot without a direct narration. Thus, mastering the use of dialogue is essential for any student or writer aiming to craft compelling and persuasive essays.

Exploring Types of Dialogue for Essays

In essays, dialogue can be categorized into three main types: direct , indirect , and inner dialogue. Direct dialogue involves the exact words spoken by characters, enclosed in quotation marks, providing a vivid sense of conversation. It's particularly effective in narrative essays where capturing the immediacy of an interaction is crucial. Indirect dialogue , on the other hand, paraphrases the spoken words without quotation marks, often used to summarize conversations or to blend dialogue into a descriptive passage, making it less disruptive and maintaining a more formal tone suitable for academic or analytical writing.

Inner dialogue reflects the thoughts or internal conversations of a character, offering a glimpse into their motivations and emotional states. This type of dialogue is usually not marked by quotation marks but may be italicized to differentiate it from external dialogue. Each type of dialogue serves a unique purpose in an essay:

• Direct dialogue adds realism and immediacy,
• Indirect dialogue smooths narrative flow while conveying essential information,
• Inner dialogue deepens character development and emotional engagement. Understanding when and how to use each type can greatly enhance the effectiveness of your writing, making your essays more dynamic and engaging.

Structuring Dialogue in Essays

Structuring dialogue effectively in an essay is crucial for maintaining clarity and ensuring a smooth flow of the narrative. When integrating dialogue, it's important to consider its placement within the context of your essay. Begin a new paragraph each time a different character speaks, which helps the reader easily follow the conversation. Additionally, ensure that each piece of dialogue serves a purpose, whether it's pushing the narrative forward, revealing character traits, or providing necessary information. Avoid cluttering your essay with unnecessary dialogue that does not enhance your argument or story.

To maintain a clear structure, use dialogue tags judiciously. These are phrases like 'he said' or 'she asked' that attribute the spoken words to a character. While necessary for clarity, repetitive dialogue tags can become cumbersome. Instead, mix them with action or descriptions that convey the speaker's mood or reactions, providing a richer picture without repetitive tags. For instance:

• John sighed. "I don't know what to do," he admitted.
• "Really?" Mary raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had it figured out."

This approach not only identifies who is speaking but also adds depth to the dialogue.

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Formatting dialogue in academic essays.

When incorporating dialogue into academic essays, it's crucial to adhere to specific formatting guidelines to maintain the essay's credibility and readability. Different academic styles, such as APA or MLA, have particular rules for dialogue formatting that must be followed. For instance, in APA style, dialogue included as part of your narrative should be enclosed in double quotation marks, and each new speaker's dialogue should start a new paragraph.

Using the correct formatting not only helps in distinguishing the speakers but also aids in the overall presentation of your essay, making it easier for readers to follow the conversation. Here are some essential pointers:

• Always use double quotation marks for direct speech.
• Start a new paragraph for each new speaker to enhance clarity.
• Ensure that punctuation marks like commas, periods, or question marks are placed inside the closing quotation marks.

Adhering to these formatting rules is not just about following guidelines but about enhancing the reader's understanding and engagement with the content. Properly formatted dialogue can transform a simple narrative into an intriguing and dynamic discussion, thereby elevating the quality of the academic essay. Remember, consistency in your formatting choices throughout the essay is key to a polished and professional presentation.

Rules for Formatting Dialogue Correctly

To format dialogue correctly in academic essays, focus on punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphing. Begin each character's dialogue with a new line and enclose their speech in double quotation marks . Ensure that all punctuation marks that are part of the dialogue are placed inside the closing quotation marks. For example, if a sentence within dialogue ends with a period, the period should be inside the quotation marks. Additionally, the first word in each line of dialogue should be capitalized, unless it's part of a continuing sentence.

Examples of Dialogue in Essays

Let's explore some practical examples to understand how dialogue can be effectively used in essays. For instance, in a narrative essay about a family dispute, you might write: John exclaimed, "I can't believe you would say that!" This direct dialogue, enclosed in double quotation marks, vividly captures John's shock and helps the reader feel the tension. In another example, an academic essay discussing communication styles might include: Dr. Smith argues, "Non-verbal cues are often misunderstood," illustrating the expert's opinion through direct dialogue.

In a reflective essay, using inner dialogue can add depth, such as I thought to myself, 'Is this really the right choice?' This internal questioning highlights the narrator's conflict without direct speech. For indirect dialogue, consider a history essay example: The general told his troops that they would advance at dawn, which paraphrases the speech to integrate smoothly into a factual narrative. Each example demonstrates how dialogue can enhance the textual engagement and clarity, making the characters and scenarios more relatable and impactful.

Crafting a Conversational Essay

Crafting a conversational essay is all about making your writing feel like a chat between friends, rather than a formal lecture. This style not only engages readers but also helps them connect with the material on a personal level. To achieve this, you can start by using everyday language and short, punchy sentences that mimic natural speech.

Techniques to enhance the conversational feel include:

• Asking rhetorical questions to provoke thought,
• Using contractions like "you're" instead of "you are", which sound more natural,
• Incorporating personal anecdotes or light humor to establish a friendly tone. These strategies make the essay not just informative but also enjoyable to read, keeping your audience hooked from start to finish.

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Samwell.ai revolutionizes the way you write essays with dialogue, making them more engaging and authentic. The AI-powered writing assistant helps you craft realistic conversations that enhance the narrative and emotional depth of your essays. This tool ensures that each dialogue piece is not only well-integrated but also adheres to academic standards, maintaining the balance between creativity and academic integrity.

Additionally, Samwell.ai offers advanced plagiarism checks and access to authentic sources , which are crucial for backing up your dialogues with credible information. With features like in-text citations and multimedia integrations, your essays become more comprehensive and informative, providing a richer context to the conversations within your academic writings.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a conversation with an example essay.

A conversation in an essay is a way to include spoken words between characters to enhance the narrative, provide depth, or illustrate points dynamically. For example, in a narrative essay about a family dispute, you might include: John exclaimed, "I can't believe you would say that!" This direct dialogue, enclosed in double quotation marks, vividly captures John's shock and helps the reader feel the tension.

How to show a conversation in writing?

To show a conversation in writing, use direct dialogue by enclosing the spoken words in double quotation marks and starting a new paragraph for each speaker. Additionally, use dialogue tags like 'he said' or 'she asked' to attribute the spoken words to a character. For instance: John sighed. "I don't know what to do," he admitted. "Really?" Mary raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had it figured out."

How is a conversation written?

A conversation is written by using direct dialogue where the exact words spoken by characters are enclosed in quotation marks, and each new speaker's dialogue starts a new paragraph. Use dialogue tags to attribute the spoken words to a character, and ensure punctuation like commas and periods are placed inside the closing quotation marks. For example, you might write: John exclaimed, "I can't believe you would say that!"

How do you write a good conversation?

Writing a good conversation involves using realistic dialogue that reflects the character's personality and advances the plot or theme of the essay. Start each character's speech in a new paragraph, use double quotation marks for direct dialogue, and mix dialogue tags with action or descriptions. Ensure each piece of dialogue serves a purpose, whether revealing character traits, building tension, or providing necessary information. For example: John sighed. "I don't know what to do," he admitted. "Really?" Mary raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had it figured out."

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How to Write Dialogue in an Essay: Usage, Formatting, Punctuation Rules

Updated 11 Mar 2024

From narrative essays , personal reflections, psychology simulation reports and up to English literature writing and scholarships, using dialogue in an essay can dramatically change student’s chances of delivering a successful paper. However, there are specific rules that have to be considered. Many U.S. college students have failed such essays due to not learning how to write dialogue in an essay. Our writing guide provides clear definition, cases of usage, formatting cases with examples, MLA and APA dialogue rules that have to be known. Thankfully, once these rules are mastered, chances of getting low grades are really low! For best grades, consider turning to one of our creative writers at EduBirdie to receive plagiarism free and unique papers.

Essay Dialogue Definition & Purpose

As most might remember from school, dialogue represents special literary device that helps writers to portray a conversation with two or more individuals involved. Dialogue in an essay can be implemented when writing fiction or nonfiction narrative work. As an example, working with (or citing) movies, plays, books or reports, its usage may even become obligatory for greater effect. However, one should not mistake dialogue with academic research necessity to directly quote from journals, books or any other sources.

The most crucial rule isn’t to confuse direct quotes with dialogues, which is a major mistake that most college students do. Main difference lies not only in formatting rules but in purpose. Purpose of dialogue is being a part of particular story, adding creative or emotionally-charged touch. Unlike direct quotes that have purpose of supporting claims made by an author word by word, it differs by primary intention.  

When Dialogue is Used in an Essay and Why

Naturally, cases of dialogue usage differ from paper to paper, yet majority of writing assignments that include dialogue have creative nature. It’s so because narration always tells a story and adds literary devices to support settings, writing style, and imagery. Psychological element of perception is extremely important, therefore, each sentence has to be creative. Dialogue in an essay adds power to imagery by allowing target audience to live through effect of an actual presence and character of people involved.

There can be various dialogue simulations in Business Management, Education or Psychology university assignments that require creative thinking, yet when students have to work with argumentative or persuasive essays, it’s recommended to apply direct quoting instead to make argumentation reliable. Since our claim has to be strong or even supported by a source, citing existing source is correct in such cases.

Likewise, working with expository essays students explain mechanics of certain facts by providing definite facts. General rule with understanding whether dialogue fits in your paper is thinking about importance of direct claims. If no claim has to be made, creative use of conversation is allowed. It helps to relate stories, knowledge, and feeling of belonging to an audience.

For example, when one has to present conversations with friends or work colleagues, writing an argumentative paper, it is recommended to use direct quotes, marking it as "Personal Interview" or "Personal Conversation", when citing. College professors expect students objectivity, correct attitude that shows scientific approach. Turning to dialogue essay is acceptable in narration or when writer has to be reflective.

Approach this task as a report on speech where there’s no need to include all details. Recreating it from one's memory, writer uses dialogue to add depth, emotional background or mood to explain provided story's content. Remember that conversation has to capture reader's attention, explain settings, and be realistic enough.

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How to Format Dialogue in an Essay

The most challenging part is how to format dialogue in an essay, yet with basic rules explained, it will not seem too difficult!

Note: Our writing guide focuses on U.S. English rules of grammar, which means that it’s always better to check twice due to possible differences in your country.

• Apply double quotation marks when signifying that character uses speech

For example: When I failed college exams, my mother told me, "You should try harder, son."

• When using quotes in quotes, use single quotation marks

As shown below: "I recall watching Colbert Report episode that said 'Politics and religion do not mix' and feeling amazed," the course instructor said.

• If conversation extends across more than one paragraph, implement quotation marks right where each paragraph starts. However, closing double quotes can only be implemented when character’s speech reaches its end

See this example: James smiled and said, "It might be difficult at first. If we choose another approach for mediation, we won't be concerned about privacy. Still, third party presence might irritate people like John and Mike. Let's hope it works out."

Another important issue that should be considered by students learning how to put dialogue in an essay relates to correct punctuation. We will use correct and incorrect examples for clearer referencing.

- If your used speech quotation locates at sentence end, always implement full stop. It should be inside inverted commas, as in here:  

Wrong use: His mother exclaimed, "Do your college homework right now, please".

Correct use: An old man commented, "This essay is worth gold."

- Speaking of questions or use of exclamation signs, there’s a rule that states if it’s related to character’s words, they should be placed inside quotation.

Incorrect: Johnny shouted, "This is against the rules"!

Correct: Linda commented, "Sounds right to me!"

- If quote belongs to another greater sentence that represents question or contains an exclamation in it, punctuation marks go beyond speech being marked.

Wrong quotation example: What would you think when professor says, "Have you seen additional grading rubric?"

Proper way: What did you do when your father shouted, "Where is Andrew"?

- If intended speech tag appears before you implement a quote, it is necessary to make it separate, therefore, writers put comma before quotation mark.

Wrong: His sister said, "I'm going to John's graduation tonight."

Correct: Mr. Brown said, "Essay writing online is possible".

- Now if conversation element appears after quotation marks, correct way is to place comma inside replica’s mark. Like this:

"Just make sure my tea is hot", my brother warned me as I went outside.

- Finally, if there is interruption in a phrase, it is necessary to put comma after the first part of used phrase. As explanatory part finishes (who speaks), comma is used once again. See our example:

"Not exactly," Tom said in teary voice, "It's plain wrong to think so."

Read also: To be confident in the explanatory part, read our guide about  how to write an explanatory essay

Now that we know how to quote dialogue in an essay, let us proceed with APA and MLA formatting peculiarities!

Read also: How to Write Dates with Commas Correctly?

Dialogue Formatting in APA and MLA essay formats

MLA formatting:

• Place dialogue in new paragraph, even if speech is really small.
• Use commas to separate speech tags.

He said, "Oh, dear! I think we forgot to invite Jamie."

• If character's speech is more than one paragraph, start every paragraph with inverted commas.
• Remember that final quotation mark is placed at paragraph's end.

During his graduation, he said, "I did not think that Social Psychology is right for me, but then I started working part-time at our local shelter. It was a time changing experience! "Thanks to my college professors, my parents, everyone who has made it possible today."

How to quote a conversation in an essay APA format:

• In APA format , if character in speech uses not much text, the same paragraph contains dialogue tags and quotes.
• Commas are used for dialogue tags separation as well as quoting.

Laura said, "I'm feeling tired. Can you help me with my assignment?"

• If speech is more than 40 words, inverted commas should be at the beginning of every paragraph, as well as at conversation's end.

During our meeting, he said, "Nothing can be as damaging as working at college assignments few hours before deadline." "No proofreading is done when student is always hurrying up. I recommend online writing services if one absolutely needs professional help and has no time."

• If your dialogue involves more than two people, each person has his or her own paragraph in essay text.

"Ashley Construction Group. How can I help you?" She said. "Stella? I think John asked you to text him this morning. Could you?" He exclaimed.

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How to Write Conversationally: An (Almost) COMPLETE Guide with 18 Examples

by Henneke | 223 enchanting opinions, add yours? :)

She’s reading her draft post.

And she doesn’t like the tone of her writing at all.

Why is it so hard to engage her readers?

Helena is an expert in climate change, and she’d like to write in a conversational tone …

As if she’s explaining climate change to a friend while sipping an ice tea at the town plaza. The pigeons are strutting around her, bobbing their heads and pecking at the crumbs on the pavement.

But, somehow, her writing always sounds too academic, too formal, too difficult, too stuffy, too boring.

What can she do?

How to write conversationally

Some say …

Just write like you talk.

But it doesn’t always work like that.

Yes, when you write a quick email or social media update, it’s possible to jot down your thoughts as if you’re actually chatting on the phone.

But when writing long-form content or when you’re still figuring out your ideas, writing in a conversational tone is more challenging. A draft often sounds writerly, and you have to massage it until it becomes more informal.

As Elmore Leonard suggested:

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Want to know how?

How to edit a writerly text

To turn a formal text into a friendly conversation, follow 3 steps:

Take out the writerliness

See techniques 1 – 4 below >>

Turn your writing into a conversation

See techniques 5 – 8 below >>

Add an air of casualness (optional)

See techniques 9 – 14 below >>

Shall I show you?

I. Take out the writerliness

The basis of conversational writing is a simple text so readers can follow your ideas with ease:

• Eliminate complicated sentences >>
• Avoid the passive voice >>
• Replace writerly words >>
• Use transitional words often >>

Here are some examples …

1. Eliminate complicated sentences

Complicated sentences are a sure sign of writerliness.

So, keep your sentences simple and mostly short. The occasional long sentence is fine—as long as each sentence is easy to read.

For instance, Elizabeth Strout uses a conversational tone in her book Lucy by the Sea , and she doesn’t shy away from a long sentence:

He was seventy-one years old then, but he, kind of, I think, must have been plunged into some sort of midlife crisis, or older man crisis, with the loss of his much younger wife moving out and taking their ten-year-old daughter, and then his half-sister’s not wanting to see him and his finding out that his mother had not been who he’d thought she had been.

When I read Strout’s sentence, it’s almost like I can hear her talk. Can you, too?

The sentence above is easy to read because it starts with its core ( he was seventy-one years old ) and then expands. Moreover, filler phrases ( kind of, I think ) add a casual tone.

So, the key to conversational writing is not to keep all your sentences short but to keep your sentences simple. Communicate your ideas tiny step by tiny step.

2. Avoid the passive voice

Pay attention to everyday conversations, and you’ll note that most sentences use the active voice:

I went to the shops to get the groceries. I cooked a colorful stirfry with lots of veggies and prawns. We had dinner together.

The passive voice feels more writerly, less natural:

The groceries were purchased by Henneke. A colorful stirfry was prepared, and dinner was eaten.

I wouldn’t say that. Would you?

So, if you want to sound less writerly, try to avoid the passive voice.

3. Replace writerly words

Only use jargon if you’re writing for an expert audience who use that jargon themselves, too.

Otherwise, please …

Skip the posh words and gobbledygook.

Use everyday words instead.

For instance, jeans manufacturer Hiut Denim describes what they do in short sentences, using simple words:

We make jeans. That’s it. Nothing else. No distractions. Nothing to steal our focus. No kidding ourselves that we can be good at everything. No trying to conquer the whole world. We will just do our best to conquer our bit of it. So each day we will come in and make the best jeans we know how.

Note the everyday expressions above: That’s it; no kidding ourselves; we will just do our best; our bit of it.

Not sure which words to use?

Think of a face-to-face conversation with one of your favorite readers. What words would you use then?

4. Use transitional words often

Soooo …

When we talk, we use transition words to string our thoughts together.

Those transition words tend to be simple: When, if, and, but, or, because, so .

However, when we try to impress with our writing, we use more writerly transitions such as: Therefore, in contrast, additionally, furthermore, nonetheless, thus, subsequently, in conclusion.

Copywriter Gary Halbert is known for his conversational style, and the casual phrase anyway is one of his favorite transition words. It makes his writing sound as if he’s chatting to you. This is from his book The Boron Letters :

So anyway, today I’m going to start by telling you about a little trick that will improve your copywriting.

Anyway, a couple paragraphs back I wrote: “and if you can find a way to use it, you can dramatically increase your sales volume.” Now, compare that to this: “and if you can find a way to use it, you can make yourself a bushel of money!” Isn’t that a lot more powerful? You bet! The words “dramatically increase your sales volume” do not even begin to conjure up the visual imagery of “a bushel of money.”

Transition words create flow and help readers follow your text from one sentence to the next.

Moreover, if you choose simple transition words and use them often, your text will sound more conversational.

II. Turn your writing into a conversation

The 4 techniques below are the essence of conversational writing:

• Remember who you’re writing for >>
• Address your reader with the word you >>
• Ask questions >>
• Add personal comments (optional) >>

Here’s how …

5. Remember who you’re writing for

Good writing is a conversation with your reader.

And to make your conversation meaningful, remind yourself who you’re writing for. Who are they? What do they want to know? What’s their reaction to your writing?

When they shake their head because they disagree, you can counter their objections. When they don’t understand a phrase, you can replace or explain it. When a question pops up in their mind, answer it.

It can be hard to write a first draft with your reader in mind. Just formulating your thoughts is challenging enough.

So, once you’ve written that draft, try distancing yourself a little from yourself as the writer. Try not to be too precious about your words, and read them through the eyes of your reader. How can you make your text clearer and more engaging?

The better you can imagine your reader’s reaction, the more engaging your conversation with them will be.

6. Address your reader

In a face-to-face situation, you talk a bit about yourself, right?

And you also address the person you’re talking to?

Well, it’s the same in conversational writing. You address your reader with the word you , and you talk a little about me .

For instance, Mark Manson’s blog reads like a conversation with his readers because he addresses readers directly. This is from a blog post about feelings :

Look, I know you think the fact you feel upset or angry or anxious is important. That it matters. Hell, you probably think that because you feel like your face just got shat on makes you important. But it doesn’t. Feelings are just these … things that happen.

If you want to have a conversation with your reader, don’t create a monologue. Use the words you and your more often than the words me , my , and I .

7. Ask questions

Questions are probably my favorite conversational writing technique . For instance, here’s how I open a blog post on editing a sentence :

Do you ever wonder how others edit their writing? Me, too. So, picture my delight when I came across a fabulous example of revision … By a bestselling author!

And I start the sales page for the Enchanting Copywriting course like this:

Do you ever find yourself staring at a blank sheet? Struggling to find the right words to sell without feeling sleazy? You’re not alone. Persuasive writing is probably one of the most precious skills anyone in business can possess. But at school, we’ve not learned the art of persuasion. We’ve not learned how to write compelling content. We’ve not learned how to sell without feeling pushy.

Want to engage your readers?

Ask questions. Ask them whether they’re struggling with the problem you’re helping them solve. Or ask them whether they’d like to achieve that aim you can help them with.

Of course, asking questions only works if you understand your reader and if you know what’s bothering them and what they’re dreaming off.

8. Add personal comments

I discovered this trick for conversational writing only recently …

Add a personal comment between parentheses.

This technique is not widely used but it works like a dream.

The following snippet is from the memoir It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too) by Nora McInerny Purmort:

This is for people who have been through some shit—or have watched someone go through it. This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is).

Above, McInerny Purmort first addresses her readers as a crowd ( This is for people who … ); it sounds less conversational.

But then she adds a comment between parentheses, addressing her reader directly ( you’re not, but nobody is ). That’s when it feels she’s talking with you.

As we’ve seen so far, to write conversationally, first edit your text so it’s simple and clear.

Next, turn your writing in a conversation with your reader: Know who you’re having a conversation with, address them with the word you , ask them questions, and if you like, add personal comments between parentheses.

Lastly, there’s one more optional step …

III. Add an air of casualness

Not all conversational writing needs a casual tone.

So, think about your readers. What’s the right tone for a conversation with them?

Then, try the following techniques:

(this is a safe technique that almost anyone can use)

(uhm … maybe not for everyone)

< waves hello >

(in mucho moderation)

(if you muuuuust)

Let me show you some examples …

9. Use contractions

Contractions merge two words together. It’s what we do when we speak all the time.

For example:

Using contractions is probably the most common and easiest technique for informal writing.

10. Try interjections

For more casualness, try interjections such as Phew. Duh. Whoah! Yay! Yikes. Ugh.

I occasionally use interjections in my writing:

What’s the most boring punctuation mark? I used to think that award should go to parentheses. They seem to smell like math exams in sweaty classrooms. Ugh.

Has it happened to you, too? In your mind, you’ve composed your next article. Perhaps while walking your dog or on your commute. You feel excited, because you know exactly what you want to write, and you think your readers will love it. Yay!

Even Apple uses interjections sometimes. For instance, when they write about the iPhone 14 :

Water resistance. (Phew.)

Interjections are shortcuts to expressing emotions.

Use them in moderation.

11. Use filler words

When we talk, we use filler phrases to give us time to think or to add emphasis.

Filler phrases include: I mean, you know, actually, so, yeah, well, sure enough, here’s the thing, why bother, hang on, like.

Here’s how Sara Gibbs ends her book Drama Queen: One Autistic Woman and a Life of Unhelpful Labels :

Right . . . Well, it’s getting late and I’ve got to get dinner on. Ah, crap, you’re never going to believe that. You know I’m not the one who cooks dinner. OK, uh . . . I think my cat is asking for me. No? I have to go; my husband’s on fire. God. Fine, you’ve got me. I have no idea how to end this book. I’m as good as getting out of conversations as I am at instigating them. I will leave you with these words – which I recently blurted out before hanging up on a confused GP’s receptionist: ’K, love you, bye!

As Tony Hoagland points out in his book The Art of Voice , filler words can be key to creating a voice that connects. They can create a sense of warmth, of companionship. A voice sounds more real.

But, of course, filler words make your writing less concise. And, as you can sense in the snippet by Gibbs above, a lot of filler words make writing exhausting to read.

So, think about what works for you and your audience. And, also, read your writing aloud. Does it flow naturally or does it become exhausting?

It’s up to you to find the balance between being concise and being more chatty.

12. Add gestures

Your keyboard doesn’t allow you to put hand gestures into a text.

Or does it?

< shrugs shoulders >

So, this is the trick:

You can put hand gestures or facial expressions between angled brackets.

< raises eyebrows >

It’s like putting emoticons into words.

Angled brackets can also be used to < checks notes > create a pause in your writing. Here’s Ann Handley in a recent newsletter :

You think you have a handle on a problem or a situation or a topic. You sit down to write: hands hover over laptop, claws ready to clack the keys, itching to go! Let’s GO! < seconds pass > < is it a minute already? > Your mind wanders.

Putting gestures or other comments between angled brackets can add personality to your writing. But always consider: Is this the right tone for the conversation you’re having? Or do you prefer a more concise conversational style?

Oh, and if you don’t like angled brackets, you can use *asterisks* instead.

Or, if you want to create a pause, just adding an ellipsis (…) is a neat trick, too.

13. ALL CAPS

I’m a little hesitant to mention this technique.

Because it should be used sparingly. Very sparingly.

ALL CAPS is a bit like shouting.

But the thing is this: When we talk, we can whisper, or shout, or sing.

And we can’t do that in our writing.

So, how can we emphasize our words instead?

My preferred method is to choose stronger words: Emotional words (such as despair, joyful, enchanting ) or sensory words (such as dazzling, gloomy, prickly, sweet ).

But sometimes, you may want to use ALL CAPS for extra emphasis.

For instance, Ramit Sethi occasionally uses ALL CAPS on his sales pages, like here :

There are tons of books, courses, and articles about confidence. “How to be confident at work!” “How to stop being shy on dates!”, “How to make everybody at a party love you!” The list goes on and on. The #1 piece of advice in all these materials is: “Just be yourself!” VOMIT.

And Joe Tracini also uses ALL CAPS occasionally in his memoir Ten Things I Hate About Me :

I’m scared. Terrified, really. I’m scared of what you’ll think of me, because even though I don’t know you, I don’t want to disappoint you, and I am desperate to be liked by EVERYBODY AT ALL TIMES. (Seriously. If I’m in a shop and I think the person on the till doesn’t like me, I will spend the rest of that day thinking I’ve ruined their afternoon, then worrying and wondering about how I could’ve been a better customer.)

Used sparingly, ALL CAPS can mimic the emphasis you’d add to a couple of words when talking. It’s like raising your voice.

Moreover, research indicates that putting one or two words in ALL CAPS makes it easier to understand something at a glance.

BUT …

Using ALL CAPS for longer texts reduces readability.

So, be careful: ALL CAPS can quickly be too much, and your writing tone becomes shouty.

14. Elongate your vowels

Pleeeaaaase, explain to me …

Why do we drag out our vowels?

Elongating vowels creates a more casual tone by mimicking our intonation when we talk. You may think this technique is only for teenagers on social media but even Apple uses it on their website :

The looongest battery life of any iPhone. Ever.

And Wil Reynolds writes in a blog post about SEO and AI disruption :

SEO has been “dead” or “dying” since before I got started in 1999. Mayyyyybe it’s just an industry that changes a lot.

I sometimes elongate vowels on Twitter , too:

Pleeease … Don’t tell me to write like I talk. In writing, you can’t use hand gestures & facial expressions. So, writing has to be stronger than spoken language.

You can also lengthen certain consonants. Dammmmmnnn. What a messss.

So, this is an interesting technique, most commonly used on social media. Elsewhere, use in moderation or not at all. There is a risk your tone becomes unprofessional.

Always consider who your reader is and what tone is appropriate for your conversation with them.

How casual should your writing be?

Your objective is not to make your writing as conversational and casual as possible.

Think about the topic you’re discussing with your reader.

Consider your reader’s reaction and what feelings crop up when they’re reading your text.

Also, think about the context. Social media tends to be most casual, email comes next. And blogs tend to be more conversational than books but that’s also a matter of personal preference.

Sometimes, simple and clear writing is your aim.

Sometimes, you want to go a step further and turn your text into a conversation or make the tone more informal.

How casual is your conversation with your reader?

Cup of tea? Slice of cake?

PS This is a completely refreshed and expanded version of an article originally posted on January 14th, 2014. The new version was published on August 29th, 2023.

Recommended reading on conversational writing:

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Reader Interactions

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June 11, 2024 at 11:59 am

Amazing content, Henneke! I’ve read the first version of the article and I’m very impressed how you could expand a guide that for me was already perfect hahaha

Tks a lot for sharing your work, your tips and your perspective of the conversional writing ❣️

June 12, 2024 at 10:10 am

Thank you, Paulo. That’s a lovely compliment. It took me a long time before I felt ready to update this guide. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

December 15, 2023 at 4:00 am

Thanks, for this very insightful post. I think that people, looking for guidance in their writing, will definitely not leave empty. I have personally gained useful tips and suggestions, that will help me in my writing. This post will add value to the newbie’s writing, like me, and even some of the more mature writers.

December 15, 2023 at 10:29 am

I’m glad you found it useful, Rupert.

October 31, 2023 at 9:46 pm

Faaaaantastic! Learnt LOADS. Thanks.

November 1, 2023 at 9:00 am

Yay! I’m glad it was helpful. 🙂

October 21, 2023 at 9:13 am

This made me laugh and all the tips are helpful. Happy Belated Birthday. It’s never too late to celebrate your beauty Henneke and to be grateful for all you are and all you share! You give me hope and inspiration and skill.

October 23, 2023 at 10:37 am

Thanks so much, Andrea. This was a fun post to write.

October 18, 2023 at 4:09 pm

For someone who has stalled on writing for a while due to so many things, bereavement being one. Reading this has truly inspired me, I’ve taken notes and I can’t wait to practice all that you shared. Very informative and useful tips. I believe you’ve just eased the burden I felt at the thoughts of going back to writing. Thank you Henneke!

October 18, 2023 at 4:56 pm

I’m sorry about your bereavement, Bukky. I hope you’ll get back to writing soon and will find joy in writing again.

September 11, 2023 at 3:33 pm

I haven’t even finished reading, and just have to say how truly helpful this is! Our company just rebranded our voice/tone, and “conversational” is our latest descriptor of how we should be writing (I’m a copywriter). I thought I knew how, but am quickly realizing how hard it is when writing about tech products. Thank you for making this so approachable and easy to understand. I have a post-it note handy with notes from your blog to keep on my desk! 🙂

September 13, 2023 at 6:58 am

Thank you, Marissa. That’s lovely feedback. Happy writing!

September 8, 2023 at 6:29 pm

Thank you so much Henneke. You’re a whole institution, trust me. 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼❤️🤗 Thank you

September 13, 2023 at 6:57 am

Thank you, Nnenna. I just enjoy writing, sharing and connecting with lovely people like you.

September 4, 2023 at 9:53 pm

Happy belated birthday, Henneke. I hope you’re feeling well. As usual, you never disappoint me with how you display your knowledge — much appreciated.

September 5, 2023 at 4:21 pm

Thank you, Dom. That’s lovely feedback. And I appreciate your birthday wishes.

September 4, 2023 at 10:07 am

Thank you very much Henneke for this long topic! I’ve already read the first version before and now I see new stuff you added. There is such information that I can’t remember all!! I feel I need to read that again from time to time to assimilate that. And Happy Birthday in late! 🤗

September 5, 2023 at 4:19 pm

Thanks so much, Alexandra. No need to remember it all. Just pick a new technique or two that appeal to you, and start practicing. When you feel you want to try something different, you can always come back. But you know that already 🙂

September 2, 2023 at 12:53 pm

Great read. In order to make the writing *even more* conversational, we might also use:

– emojis, to underline the message or suggest the opposite (yeah, right… 🙄), but used sparingly. – animated GIFs. Again, to make the point in a funny, relatable way. Maybe instead of writing gestures, we might show ’em 🙂 – larger or colored characters, to emphasize a short sequence of words. However, I’d use this technique sparingly, depending on context (I woulnd’t use it in B2B communication, but it’s ok when writing to young moms).

Apart from those, I think your list is all-inclusive 🙂

September 3, 2023 at 10:34 am

Thanks so much for adding these suggestions, Radu. Fab.

August 30, 2023 at 10:14 pm

Thank you Henneke for your precious article. Vero useeeeeeful! And… Happy Birthday from Italy. Maurizio

August 31, 2023 at 9:43 am

Sooooo glad you find this useful, Maurizio.

And thank you for your birthday wishes 🙂

August 30, 2023 at 8:37 pm

Thank you! Happy Birthday!🎉🎊🎈🎂

August 31, 2023 at 9:42 am

Thank you so much, Shauna. 🎉

August 30, 2023 at 4:31 pm

Hi Henneke, Very handy article. I love all the different ways you have picked up on to make writing sound like a real conversation – all the umms and errs. And you’ve made me realise that although I say ‘anyway’ all the time, I would never dream of writing it. So now I need to think about that, along with so and however. Thanks.

August 30, 2023 at 5:11 pm

It’ll probably be interesting to experiment and see whether you like it when you add “anyway” to your writing, and what frequency feels right.

Writing will never quite be the same as speaking. It’ll always be more concise, more structured, and a little stronger. But when we allow ourselves to be a bit more conversational, we can let our personality shine through a little more.

happy writing!

August 30, 2023 at 8:29 am

Happy birthday!

Brilliant piece; saved for future reference. Thank you.

August 30, 2023 at 11:08 am

Thank you so much, Beverley. Happy writing!

August 29, 2023 at 9:25 pm

I just finished a youth book on the 23rd Psalm that’s woven in a young girl’s life while studying it. She narrowly survived bullets randomly fired at the March 6, 2023 shooting in Allen Texas, at the Outlet Mall.

I’m mostly pleased with the book, but wished I had read—no studied, this article before starting. I tried to make the book conversational. I doubt that I succeeded. Do I rewrite with this article in mind? Probably not, since the parents of the girl have approved it. BUT, this will be a go-to on my next book.

Thanks for this article. It truly is helpful

August 30, 2023 at 11:10 am

I think that’s a wise decision. It’s easy to be tempted to keep improving a book but as it’s approved already, it’s probably better to start your next project.

Best wishes to the girl who survived the shooting.

August 29, 2023 at 8:04 pm

This is not a blog post.

But a Bible on conversational writing.

What else can I say?

Best wishes,

August 29, 2023 at 8:41 pm

As I was working on it, I was wondering whether it was bit too much!

August 29, 2023 at 5:49 pm

This landed in my inbox at the perfect time. Have a first draft of my next newsletter and it reads kind of stiff. Ugh. Your tips totally inspire me to bring it to life. Thanks, Henneke.

August 29, 2023 at 6:16 pm

Yay! That makes me happy, Fiona. Thank you. Happy editing!

August 29, 2023 at 12:54 pm

I started and couldn’t stop reading your article. And, I missed my train. Not to worry, I gained more from your item than my meeting with the bank manager. Thanks. Is it OK to use conversational writing on my website pages?

August 29, 2023 at 1:01 pm

Oops. I’m sorry you missed your train!

And yes, you can use conversational writing on your website. Just consider who is reading your website and what the right tone is to engage them.

April 18, 2023 at 12:09 pm

Hi, Can you share if a conversational tone can be used in a coffee table book?

April 18, 2023 at 4:01 pm

Sure. Why not? It depends how you want to position your coffee table book.

October 21, 2022 at 5:47 pm

You got me in awe! I just can not stop myself from reading it till the end + I want to read more !

October 22, 2022 at 4:23 pm

Thank you, Shafeeq. That’s a lovely compliment 🙂

August 12, 2022 at 1:03 pm

Great tips for chatting through writing.

Way too many bloggers and online marketers forget that human beings sit on the other side of the computer or phone. There are other humans out there reading our content and engaging us from their laptops and phones. Keeping this idea in mind urges me to be chatty, to write how I speak and to converse with fellow human beings by a Blogging From Paradise, my emails and through social media too.

We want to chat with people online not speak to them.

August 12, 2022 at 4:26 pm

Yes, so true. Conversational writing is not just for blog writing, but also emails and social media. It even works for books!

April 27, 2021 at 3:05 pm

Beautiful flow. Your message arrives home with perfect clarity and conciseness. Thumbs up Henneke.

April 27, 2021 at 6:56 pm

Thank you, Deniz. Happy writing!

September 18, 2020 at 5:18 pm

Do you have any YA novel suggestions which are written using conventional tone. I would be very interested in this. Thanks

September 18, 2020 at 5:40 pm

I don’t read a lot of YA novels. The only one I can remember reading “recently” is The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. I read that almost two years ago but if I remember correctly, that used a conversational tone. I’m sure there are many many more.

August 29, 2020 at 6:55 pm

This is great. I just wrote a conversational piece today. I wanted to double check if I was on the right track. This post was insightful.

I have jotted down points like checking if it looks like writing. I am going to revisit the piece tomorrow with fresh mindset and your overall tips.

Thank you so much. This was a great read and helpful in a practical way. 🙂

August 29, 2020 at 8:08 pm

I’m glad this has been helpful to you, Kavya, and I like your idea of revisiting your writing tomorrow (rather than today) to check whether it sounds like writing. Happy editing!

August 27, 2020 at 6:43 am

Wow! The post itself is written in a conversational tone. Flows well and easy to connect with. Thanks for this.

August 27, 2020 at 12:13 pm

Thank you, Martin. I’m glad you enjoyed this.

August 5, 2020 at 3:58 am

I love this! It guided me to a nice, relaxed way of blogging. This approach will allow readers to get comfortable on my blog.

August 5, 2020 at 9:39 am

Thank you, Tayler. Happy blogging!

June 29, 2020 at 4:17 pm

That was a real good post about writing good stuff.Writing is an art and you are an artist in true sense.Your writing style kept me hooked till end of the article.And I was compelled to write a comment to you. Way to go ??

June 29, 2020 at 6:20 pm

Thanks so much for your comment (and your compliment!), Preeti 🙂

June 1, 2020 at 6:24 pm

That’s great!! I think you are a fantastic writer , I like this. Good writing has a strong voice, where you can hear the writer as if they were talking to you.

June 2, 2020 at 12:55 pm

Thank you, Amit. Happy writing!

April 23, 2020 at 11:40 am

I never knew before that writing something, that too conversationally also exists. I meet new people everyday as a part of my job. I love talking to new people. And yes, asking questions definitely gets the other person involved. Thank you for such an awesome topic. I hope these tips will help me better in effective communication with my clients. Thanks and keep on giving us more.

April 23, 2020 at 12:26 pm

Asking questions is a much underrated skill. I’m glad you’ve discovered the power of questions already. Thank you for stopping by, Mihir.

March 9, 2020 at 10:19 am

I accidentally clicked on the link to your site, I liked it very much . Signed up for your free course.

March 9, 2020 at 7:35 pm

I hope you’ll enjoy the snacks, Sergey! Thank you for joining 🙂

January 24, 2020 at 5:44 pm

I loved the way you presented the ideas. I am a fan of your writing thank you. I bookmarked this post so, I can read it daily and improve my writing skills.

January 26, 2020 at 10:04 am

Thanks so much, Vijay. Happy writing!

November 28, 2019 at 11:35 am

This is amazing….!! I just got a reply from a company to write casual content, I was so confused… How am I going to do… but now I feel a little bit confident… I hope I can write well… Wish me luck….:)

November 28, 2019 at 4:56 pm

I’m glad this post is useful to you, Sandhya. Happy writing!

PS Consider asking your client for examples of conversational writing they like because the interpretation of what kind of writing is conversational may differ from company to company.

November 14, 2019 at 5:46 am

Hi Henneke,

Thank you for providing us with these useful writing tips. I often struggle with making my technical content look more informal and interesting but haven’t succeeded. With your tips, I am sure I can improve gradually.

Thanks and keep on giving us more

November 14, 2019 at 7:41 pm

I’m glad you found this useful, Amos.

Especially with technical texts, it can be useful to edit with your reader in mind. If the reader is an expert, it’s fine to use technical terms because they’d use those terms in a conversation, too. But if the reader isn’t, then it can be hard work to simplify your text to make it understandable.

Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it.

September 11, 2019 at 7:30 am

Beautiful tips. I spend half of my day reading your tips… You are seriously to the point and have informative tips. I love it. I write small blogs but with long sentences and I learn a great deal of munching wisdom about how to clean up my writing. I think I will make a few changes in my website. I love your recipes….

September 11, 2019 at 8:25 am

Thank you so much, Jim. I’m delighted you’re enjoying my blog. Happy writing! 🙂

May 13, 2019 at 11:50 am

Cut the “writerliness” — now I have a name for this!

It feels like you live in my head (in a non-creepy way, of course) because when I revert to using passive voice or pompous-sounding words, I can almost hear you saying, “You might want to change that ?”

Thanks for your example from Ann Handley’s newsletter, I really enjoyed reading her conversational tone.

May 13, 2019 at 6:28 pm

I’m glad I don’t sound creepy when you hear me suggesting a change 😀

The word “writerliness” isn’t in the dictionary, but I think we should get it added 😉

Happy writing!

March 7, 2019 at 3:39 pm

Thank you Henneke. I love it.

March 7, 2019 at 7:03 pm

Thank you, Firdaos.

March 7, 2019 at 1:50 pm

I think a conversational tone works really well for blogs and other types of writing.

I think voice is the key to a good writer, and it is not exactly the same thing as tone. Good writing has a strong voice, where you can hear the writer as if they were talking to you.

Yes, voice is not the same as tone, even though many people use them as synonyms.

If you’d read a transcript from an interview with me, you’d notice that I talk quite differently from the way I write. It’s not like I’m a different person when I write and when I talk, and you can recognize the same personality—no matter whether I talk or write, but there’s still a big difference in the way I write and talk. Unfortunately, it’s hard to edit your talking. 🙂

March 7, 2019 at 12:12 pm

I’m hooked. Each of your articles is helpful. I love your work. Thanks.

March 7, 2019 at 12:19 pm

Thank you, Olusegun. Happy writing!

March 4, 2019 at 3:47 pm

I had read this earlier. I came back to read it again 🙂 This gold!

The first place I ever heard of ‘writerliness’ but it makes a lot of sense.

March 4, 2019 at 5:45 pm

Writerliness isn’t in the dictionary. I made it up. But writerly exists and simply means “of, relating to, or typical of a writer” (according to Merriam-Webster). So, the meaning I use is a little more specific, but it seemed the best way to express this idea that writing has specific characteristics that make it sound like writing.

Thank you for coming back to reread and comment 🙂

February 26, 2019 at 11:39 am

Love this!!

I especially like the advice about counting how many times i mention; me, I & us.

You are spot on, i’m going to keep the reader in mind as much as possible, i wanted to be the best conversationalist possible!

February 26, 2019 at 2:53 pm

Thank you, Nick. And nice to see your picture now! 🙂

February 24, 2019 at 5:52 pm

Excellent advice, Henneke. Your conversational tone kept me reading. Many blog posts lose me after the first couple of paragraphs.

February 25, 2019 at 4:56 pm

I’m glad I kept you reading. Thank you for stopping by, Kathy 🙂

February 23, 2019 at 7:31 pm

I love this post! I enjoyed how you made your points come across. Thank you, Henneke!

February 23, 2019 at 7:34 pm

Thank you, Hank!

February 22, 2019 at 5:41 pm

Great post! I adore your writing style and generous tips for those of us wishing to improve our communications. I recommend your blog to my clients. Thank you for all that you do and share. Breathe joy!

February 22, 2019 at 7:26 pm

Thank you so much, KC, for your lovely comment and for recommending my blog to your clients. I appreciate it. Happy writing!

February 21, 2019 at 4:04 pm

Came here from LinkedIn. Now I know what you meant by the tea remark. An amazing article Henneke. You’ve broken down such a complex problem into the simplest form possible. And like always, your artworks are amazing.

February 22, 2019 at 10:39 am

Yes, we’re all having tea together here. I’m glad you were able to join, too. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

February 21, 2019 at 9:06 am

Hi Henneke Great post. I am writing a conversational piece at the moment and found this very helpful. Thank you. Sue Kingham

February 22, 2019 at 10:29 am

I’m glad this was helpful, Sue. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

February 21, 2019 at 4:41 am

Wow it does not seem that long since I read a similar advice, from you, crazy how four years can seem like four months. or was it fife month? I do love your posts about quitting the fancy writing, I’m certainly not that fancy type. Thank you Henneke

It was actually five years ago when I posted the original version. I can hardly believe I’ve been writing here for so many years. Crazy, eh?

February 20, 2019 at 3:18 pm

I, too, have read this one before, felt inspired and benefited, and commented already. But. This time you really got through to my “straight A+ in English” brain. How did you do that? 😀 So, thanks very much for the re-do, and … … I noticed Henrietta is sitting on the “h”. So I’d be one seat beyond, on the “k” when I read, here. It really felt that personal. <3

February 20, 2019 at 7:41 pm

Yes, the K is there waiting for you—I drew it in the last picture. And you can put your feet on the M if you like. Shall I make you a tea or a coffee? 🙂

February 20, 2019 at 4:39 am

Good reminder Henneke – conversational writing also very apt for how-to books. Paul, wet and steamy Sydney

February 20, 2019 at 9:30 am

Yep, conversational writing works for books, too. It seems that blogs (and email) have spearheaded to drive to conversational writing but it’s used more and more in books, too. Stay cool!

February 20, 2019 at 3:21 am

What a fantastic article, brilliantly summing up the topic. A perfect snapshot of the copywriter’s job. Love the infographic!

February 20, 2019 at 9:29 am

Thank you so much, Kate. I enjoyed drawing the pictures of Henrietta and her ideal reader on the typewriter 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 11:45 pm

Yes, this is what conversational feels like. I find myself learning to write shorter posts these days. This was certainly a great read. I have shared with my team, I shouldn’t take in the awesomeness alone.

February 20, 2019 at 9:28 am

Thank you so much for sharing this with your team, Mary. I appreciate it. Happy writing!

February 19, 2019 at 10:49 pm

I’ve read this post before, but I love it and totally concur. I picked up something new this time. Your distinction about writing as you write rather than as you speak got my attention this time. I hadn’t picked up on that before, but it really makes a lot of sense. Going forward, I think that will be very helpful in my writing. Thanks for yet another great idea.

That point about conversational writing not being the same as writing as you speak wasn’t worked out in the old version. I expanded it quite a lot. (And I also edited it so it sounds more like the way I write now rather than five years ago.)

Thank you for stopping by again, Gordon!

February 19, 2019 at 10:29 pm

Your email arrived in my Inbox at precisely the right time . . . when I am beginning to overhaul my Web site. Good reminders of how you can win over business not by being formal and intellectual, but by being more concise and casual. Thank you appearing in my life.

February 20, 2019 at 9:26 am

I’m glad this email arrived at the right time. Good luck with overhauling your website! Such projects can feel a bit intimidating.

February 19, 2019 at 10:09 pm

Hi Henneke I loved this, however, when I went to say thank you in the comments I felt like I missed a really good part FIVE YEARS AGO. I have so many writing hang-ups at the moment, this helps at least one.

love alwaz mike

February 20, 2019 at 9:25 am

I’m sorry you missed out five years ago, but I can reassure you this new version is a lot better! 🙂

Do you have any specific writing hang-ups I can help with?

February 19, 2019 at 8:29 pm

Brilliant, Henneke! I read many copywriting and business books but few write as well as you do. The list of these writers such as Dan Kennedy, Ted Nicholas, Seth Godin, Drayton Bird and many others simply don’t write as clearly and succinctly as you do. Robert Ringer and Andy Maslen aren’t among those – they write well and are always interesting. It seems to me that ‘if it isn’t interesting it won’t be informative’ (don’t know where I read that!). Thanks again.

February 19, 2019 at 8:38 pm

Wow. That’s a big compliment. Thank you, Paul ?

February 19, 2019 at 6:35 pm

You always hit the nail on the head–wham! Also want you to know your Enchanting Marketing “class” is proving so helpful. I write fiction stories not content marketing but believe me, I appreciate the help you give. Besides, your book recommendations are terrific. Don’t know how you’re able to do so much and give so generously to so many hungry birds! (I’m allowed one exclamation point–right?)

February 19, 2019 at 8:37 pm

I’m so happy to know that you’re finding the Write It, Don’t Fight It course helpful! Thank you so much for stopping by, Patrica. I appreciate it.

February 19, 2019 at 4:01 pm

I so agree, Henneke! Writing that feels conversational is still writing. It still takes work! I used to think, to warm and friendly, just transcribe a real conversation. That did not work! My transcribed interviews just seemed to lay there like a sack of potatoes. Your editing steps are essential! They’re like the chopping and cooking that turns a heap of words into something wonderful (like french fries). Your article says it best. A conversational tone is deliberate. It’s your choice of a few deft cuts, some heat and some sharp sensory spices that delight eaters – er – readers like me.

February 19, 2019 at 5:35 pm

I read a book a couple of years ago. It was a business book but the author also writes poetry which surprised me because the book didn’t feel like it was written by a poet who appreciates words. There was something lazy about the writing. Later I discovered that he’d dictated the book. Dictating helped him overcome writer’s block. The editing was pretty good so it wasn’t noticeable at first but still it something was slightly “off.” So, yes, as you say, the conversational tone is deliberate and takes some work.

Thank you for stopping by, Joanne!

February 19, 2019 at 3:18 pm

What can I say? Written so nice and concise. Pour me another cuppa!

February 19, 2019 at 5:32 pm

Coffee or tea? 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm

As always, Henneke, a wonderful post. I love the freshness of your post structure. So different to the Google formula of H1 to H10 or whatever.No table of contents or video as is deemed so vital by big bloggers. Thank you for an entertaining post.

February 19, 2019 at 2:19 pm

Thank you for your lovely compliment, Poovanesh. I prefer to put my readers first (and I’ve found that works quite well for Google, too).

February 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm

Nailed it! Your drawings drive the point home perfectly. (And, of course, I ❤️the ?!) ?

February 19, 2019 at 2:18 pm

The dog loves you, too 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 1:22 pm

Very inspiring. Thank you.

February 19, 2019 at 1:26 pm

My pleasure 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 12:51 pm

Brilliant as usual Henneke. Thanks for the salient reminder. I guess you could say: “Don’t be boring!”.

February 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

Yes, that helps, too. 🙂

Good to “see” you again, Ray!

February 19, 2019 at 12:23 pm

Henneke, you’ve come up with another Classic. It’s on my wall. In front of my desk.

And it’s the first thing I read every day.

And while you at it, thank Kerstin for me.

February 19, 2019 at 12:26 pm

Conversational writing is one of my favorite topics. I was nervous about revisiting the old post but I’m glad I did (and it changed more than I had envisioned). 🙂

Thank you for your comment, Lee, and happy writing!

February 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

I felt like your favourite reader, so you nailed it. And I’m looking forward to drink tea with you one day .. ha ha (but not kidding). Your imagery is so funny e.g. “Send difficult words to the naughty corner and throw a party for simple words.” Ha ha. All the best, Tine

February 19, 2019 at 12:14 pm

One day we’ll drink tea together! 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 11:49 am

Henneke you know your stuff

Thank you, Jacqueline. 🙂

March 21, 2018 at 5:30 pm

I thank you very much and love everything you send me, I love illustration and I will not forget it.

March 23, 2018 at 11:51 am

Thank you, Samar. Happy writing!

February 12, 2018 at 3:28 am

Good Article and explained nicely, what needs to be taken care to make the writing as conversational writing

February 12, 2018 at 9:51 am

I’m glad you enjoyed it, Harish. Happy writing!

September 9, 2017 at 11:38 am

This post is great. The point about short paragraphs is the one that resonates most with me.

I hire a professional writer to write our blog, and at times, I have to go in and break up 6-10 sentence paragraphs. I hate seeing it!

The web and content format is changing so dramatically, nobody wants to read a wall of text these days!

February 16, 2017 at 7:28 pm

This is an excellent article. I’ve just noticed that I use exclamation rather than questions far too much in my writing. Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong?

February 16, 2017 at 9:29 pm

Thank you for stopping by, Derek.

April 25, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Just a suggestion: maybe you can add some definite heuristics as well.. such as some effective techniques that have been proven to work.. say for reducing content length, I’d say change from “in order to” to just “to”.. something like that

March 11, 2016 at 3:58 am

Great tips! I’ve just one question: how do you handle clients who insist that conversational writing is not ‘professional’? Had a recent client who insisted, in a snooty curl-in-the-lip manner, that they are a premium brand dealing with professional readers, and so things like contractions, short sentences, using 1st/2nd pov etc. are improper.

Problem is, the style they want would bore even the most stone-hearted tax accountant to tears :-/

I suppose my real question is: Can premium B2B branding still be portrayed through a more humane, conversational writing?

March 14, 2016 at 10:11 pm

Yes, that’s tricky. You still have to respect the brand voice, even if you don’t agree with it. With some clients you can adjust the guidelines for tone of voice, but others are pretty set in their ways.

To me, B2B is also writing for people, and yes, it can be portrayed in a more conversational way of writing, but not all brand managers like that. Of course, depending on who you’re talking to, your language may be more technical as you write using the same terms your audience uses.

January 19, 2016 at 4:51 pm

Hi there! I have always been hesitant to use “you” as it may sound preachy. Everyone I talk to says it’s best to write in 1st person. What do you think?

Also, agree on white space and editing. So much easier to read.

Learning forward!

January 19, 2016 at 5:02 pm

I use “you” a lot in my blog posts, and it doesn’t feel preachy to me 🙂

September 18, 2015 at 1:21 pm

Going through the comments section I realized that I went through a lot of conversational writing. Most of the writers were perhaps not aware of it. Awesome post 🙂

September 18, 2015 at 2:27 pm

September 3, 2015 at 2:44 pm

Thank you Henneke, this post is going to help me begin my blogging journey!

September 6, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Great! Happy blogging!

August 19, 2015 at 5:49 pm

Thank you Henneke, this is a sweet post. I already hankered for more.

August 19, 2015 at 6:56 pm

Thank you, Felix. Nice to meet 🙂

Happy reading!

April 17, 2015 at 1:13 pm

Beautiful tips. I spend half of my day reading your tips… You are seriously to the point and have informative tips. I love it. I write small blogs but with long sentences and I learn a great deal of munching wisdom about how to clean up my writing. I think I will make a few changes in my website. I love your recipes…. 🙂

April 17, 2015 at 1:24 pm

I love your phrase “munching” 🙂

Happy reading and happy writing!

July 14, 2014 at 7:41 am

Yes, thank you for your answer and for the examples!

July 13, 2014 at 7:31 am

Hi Henneke, I totally agree with you on this. But I’ve got a question: I’m working for a Dutch university. One of my tasks is to write texts for the university website. My target audience are prospective students. I would love to change the way we, as a university, talk to our readers. Because, frankly, I think all our copy is totally boring, generic and abstract (“Are you innovative and interested in current issues? Then you should enroll in programme X.”). I can’t seem to persuade my bosses of the need to switch to personalized writing though, because – as they put it – it’s important that as many secondary education pupils as possible should recognize themselves in our texts. And ofcourse its true that people have many different reasons to choose a particular education. So, my question is: is it even possible for organizations with so many different target audiences with such divergent interests to find a personal tone of voice in their writing? And if so, how would you tackle this problem? Thanks in advance for your advice, I really appreciate it!

July 13, 2014 at 2:23 pm

Hi Evelyne – that’s an excellent question and can be a tricky problem when people are stuck in old-fashioned writing.

I’d say the first thing to make sure is that your bosses understand the differences between how people read on the web vs how they read an academic paper or a book. This will help them understand the importance of using white space, short sentences, short paragraphs, and simple words.

When you need to appeal to a wider audience, you want to keep your word choice fairly neutral – you can’t add personality by using slang as not everyone will understand it (unless you do for instance specific case studies to appeal to specific groups of students).

Dropbox and Evernote are good examples of companies who appeal to a wide audience, but sound human in their writing. They do this by simplifying their writing, keeping content concise, and focusing strongly on benefits rather than features.

Does this help?

April 16, 2014 at 2:41 am

Henneke, Just now got here, for some unknown reason, and as I read your post, I realized who I would write to, immediately. When I first began blogging, I followed a lovely young woman who inspired me, totally, with her great posts. I wondered how she did everything she did, and why she bothered to visit my site. Then she was attacked on fb, and decided to take a break. My heart was broken, because I saw her as a sort of bloggy mom. although I was old enough to be HER mom. After reading this post, I realize she is who I should write my posts for, sort of in her memory, although she is very much alive and has another new baby to show for her time off. I can constantly visualize her, as I always have, but never did write for/to her. Also, I have noticed on my other site, that when I write advice letters to people whose names I have changed, but whose situations are real, my posts REALLY resonate with people. That’s just what you are talking about, I think…

April 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

Yep, when you write for one person rather than for a crowd of readers, your writing becomes more “real”. Readers will notice it in your writing voice. And they all feel like you’re writing for them personally.

February 5, 2014 at 8:11 pm

This was a nice post, Henneke. I love this quote.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it. ~ Elmore Leonard

I think that in all aspects of our digital communications, we need to be more conversational. If there is no personal feel or touch, then what is the point? On that note, I included your post in my roundup of the month’s best SEO, social media, and content marketing. http://www.northcutt.com/blog/2014/02/january-resource-round-up-the-best-of-seo-social-media-and-content-marketing/

February 5, 2014 at 11:38 pm

Yep, conversational writing works in all digital communication. Thank you for stopping by, Ben, and for including my article in your roundup. Much appreciated 🙂

February 4, 2014 at 3:03 pm

In preparation for launching my own blog I’ve start reading posts like these, and I can’t tell you how much it’s helping. Before doing any research into it all I would be writing in a style that might sit somewhere in between this and sleazy sales person, unintentionally of course.

Maybe I should re-consider the copy on my website as well? (see what I did there? :D)

So, thank you again 🙂

February 4, 2014 at 4:18 pm

You’re a quick learner, Sean 🙂

Good luck with launching your blog!

February 1, 2014 at 1:53 pm

Hello Henneke,

I am a first-time reader, and found your guest post from one of my Facebook groups. I really enjoy your writing style, and I can see where some of my blog posts have fallen flat. Thank you for sharing the “how” of storytelling in such an enchanting manner.

February 1, 2014 at 9:06 pm

Hi Holly, Welcome & thank you for taking the time to comment on your first visit. I appreciate it 🙂 Glad to hear you find my blog posts useful!

January 29, 2014 at 3:30 pm

You are a writer–and a darn good one. And I can picture a Kindle children’s book with those super cute pictures. Now you just need a story and title to go with it! 😉

January 29, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Thank you, Penelope. 🙂

Maybe one day I can write and illustrate a children’s book for grown-ups. 😉

February 20, 2019 at 2:52 pm

Oh, yes. Do! Don’t you think a children’s book on how to become a writer would be great? I can imagine if there’d been such a book when I was enjoying writing assignments the MOST in grade school. Wouldn’t you love to cause a child to have courage and begin far earlier than I did? A MUST!!! 😀

January 29, 2014 at 12:34 am

Ok, Henneke. You are going to have to take on the title of “artist” along with writer. Are you up for that? 😉

Now you’ve got me wondering how many questions I have in my posts. I’m gonna go count ’em now. Thanks for germinating and sprouting all these new ideas in my head!

January 29, 2014 at 9:59 am

An artist?!? Not sure I’m quite ready for that yet. I’ve barely got used to the idea of calling myself a writer. 😉

January 23, 2014 at 6:15 am

Dear Henneke,

It is this time I am grateful. Thank you for your generous contributions over time. You have truly enriched my life with a well-toned understanding of writing a Blog.

January 23, 2014 at 11:47 am

You’re welcome, Joel. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

January 21, 2014 at 10:58 am

Thank you Henneke 🙂

January 17, 2014 at 3:49 am

Once again, awesome post, and so completely relevant!

I really like the idea of writing to one reader. As soon as I’m writing to a crowd, I can’t write at all. But I have this ongoing fear that if I write to one reader…my favorite reader…my ideal reader…I’ll connect with such an infinitesimal group of people.

I want to write about writing and marketing. Marketing with soul, you know. Because I feel like anything done with love, with real authenticity, with the soul, is infinitely better. But I’m finding it difficult to take the leap to even do that myself.

Thanks so much, Melissa

January 17, 2014 at 10:43 am

Yes, I so agree with you about writing with the soul. You’ll find that if you write for one reader it becomes much easier to write with soul and personality.

In a way having an ideal reader is just a “trick” to make your writing more engaging. Don’t worry about connecting just with one reader or a few. When you write for one person, it doesn’t mean that only one person will feel you’re talking with them. Many people will feel you’ve written the post especially for them, because many people are struggling with the same problems and challenges as your ideal reader.

Does that help?

January 18, 2014 at 3:42 am

It’s still a little scary, but your words help a lot! Thanks a bunch.

January 16, 2014 at 1:01 am

Hi again, love your drawings. Please note my website is not operating at the moment. I had to remove the files. So at the moment I am reworking everything. Give me a couple of days and I will get back to normal. You see this is the case with novices, mistakes, mistakes and more mistakes. I hope when I have restored the site it will be better in many ways. Also I hope eventually to start a blog that is why I read as much as I can. Your site I enjoy very much. That drawing has again just ‘pinged’ in my mind, so clean cut very striking. I shall have some of my own art, rather conventional, on my site when it is re-published, you might take some time to view. Thanks again for more interesting material, Tom

January 16, 2014 at 4:54 pm

We all make mistakes, Tom. It’s human 🙂

Good luck with reworking your site!

January 15, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Wow, I feel truly honoured to have inspired this post. It’s fantastic and really great advice as always. I just read all the comments you got for this post – looks like I’m not the only one struggling with this particular point. Happy new year, Henneke, and thank you so much for your great blog. xx

January 15, 2014 at 9:55 pm

Thank you so much for all your great comments last year, Kerstin. You inspire me to keep writing. 🙂

Happy new year to you, too!

January 15, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Thanks for the tips. I use “You” a bit more than I should in my posts, as in “You are loved” opposed to “I love you.” Will work on it:)

January 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

Great! I hope you enjoyed the cake 😉

Thank you for stopping by, Clara.

January 15, 2014 at 5:18 pm

Great post, Henneke! Love how you flipped the idea of writing like you talk and rather to edit your text so it doesn’t sound like writing. Great way to think of it.

January 15, 2014 at 6:17 pm

Thank you, Jonas. This is really how it works for me. I have to edit out the gobbledygook and undulating sentences to make a text more conversational.

Good to see you here! 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 9:47 am

H. firstly, what a great drawing! You should definitely keep going. Thank you also for giving me permission to use but, because, and at the start of sentences. Whilst I’ve let go of other writing formalities, these have been particularly hard to let go. And sometimes it just feels right to start a sentence this way. Really enjoying reading your posts.

January 15, 2014 at 10:15 am

Thank you so much, Caroline. And good to see you’ve given yourself permission to start a sentence with And . You deserve a big slice of cake. 🙂

Just tell that high school teacher to shut up with his old-fashioned advice 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 12:41 pm

Nomnomnom 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 4:13 am

Hi! I just stumbled upon your work and I’m totally hooked!

I’m a marketer in the Philippines. Like you, English is not my native language, but it’s the language I use to reach customers. (Here English is unofficially the language of business.)

You make me want to go back and improve everything I’ve done in the past. Now I know how to do it. Thank you!

January 15, 2014 at 10:12 am

Welcome, Rhea. It’s so nice to have people from across the world joining the conversation here. I hope you took a big slice of the cake 😉

January 14, 2014 at 9:59 pm

Henneke, I love your illustration . Congratulations! I’m proud of you

January 14, 2014 at 10:16 pm

Thank you, Louie. As one of my most loyal readers you deserve a real slice of cake some time!

January 14, 2014 at 9:58 pm

As part of my New Year’s plan to get a handle on my e-mail in-box I have unsubscribed from most of the e-mail lists I have been on. But, I love receiving your e-mails because I feel exactly the way you describe in your post when I see yours come in. Thanks for your clear, helpful, engaging, and very personalized writing!

January 14, 2014 at 10:14 pm

I feel honored that you’re still allowing my emails in your inbox. Thank you. I’ll do my best to keep rewarding you with a slice of cake each week 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Another great post. I’m definitely guilty of not asking enough questions and not focusing enough on the reader.

– Steve

P.S. The cartoon was cute as well

It’s easy to forget the reader – you can’t see him yawning, glancing at his cellphone, or fidgeting in his seat as a sign that you’re rambling on too much. A face-to-face conversation is much easier.

Thank you for stopping by! 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Hi Henneke, Excellent article. You do write very conversationally, so you are walking the walk.

I cringe everytime I see an exclamation mark because I feel as if I’m being “screamed at.” And besides, it takes away from prudent use of it!!!! So many !!!! in our lives, it feels like so much noise!

I love the picture of Henrietta & Arthur!!!! (Those are sincere) Mary

January 14, 2014 at 7:41 pm

I once wrote that using more than one exclamation mark – in an email or blog post – is a crime against enchantment. I still believe this is true.

And yes, I do my best to walk the walk. Thank you so much, Mary 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 4:14 pm

Really helpful. Thank you! Learned a lot this week. And I’m particularly motivated as I did a survey of respondents last week and when asked what I could improve, a few of them said my grammar! I couldn’t agree more.

Interesting to read your comment about your native Dutch coming out – my New Zealand comes out too. I try and catch it, because people don’t understand me when I use words like “niggle” (irritate), “puke” (throw up) or “pash (kiss),” but they still occasionally slip through.

This language business is awfully fun. And I love reading your emails each week. Thanks again, Lisa (PS: Have you read “On Writing” by Stephen King? Am reading at the moment, again. Very inspiring.)

January 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Yes, language is fun. I sometimes use British words without realizing they’re specific to British-English and others might not get them.

I like the word “niggle” – it’s also used over here. I’m surprised people don’t know the word “puke” – I see it used quite a lot in blog posts. “Pash” sounds nice, but is new to me 🙂

Yes, “On Writing” is one of my faves, too. Have you read “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott? That’s inspirational, too.

Good to see you again!

January 14, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Ooh, thanks, I haven’t read that one. Will check it out.

And, yeah I was surprised about those words too. (“Pash” is what a NZ young person might call kissing, more than just a peck. A fun word to use!) Have a great week:)

January 14, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Henneke, I see that asking questions is so important, and I enjoy “talking” to you, answering the questions in your text. I will do it in our next post, thanks for pointing out.

January 14, 2014 at 4:08 pm

Always good to have you around for tea and cake 😉

January 14, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Love this article Henneke! Your drawing is amazing as well. I look forward to seeing more of them 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your tools and knowledge. I especially found the use of question marks very helpful. Conversational copy is something that *seems* like it should be so easy…but it can be hard to retrain ourselves and unlearn what we’ve learned in school. But, we must adapt, right? 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Yes, I think that’s the mistake many people make – conversational copy *seems* easy because it’s so easy to read. But the truth is that it’s damn hard work to eradicate gobbledygook and to make each sentence flow naturally.

Thank you for stopping by, Kristy. I appreciate it! 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm

Hi, Henneke, You write the best emails with great headlines that always make me want to read your posts.

Why don’t you teach a headline class?? Blog post writing class??

I would take it and I’m sure some of your other readers would also! Sue

Hi Sue, thank you so much. Stay tuned – I’m developing a blog writing e-course.

I’m hoping to have an early bird list live before the end of February. 🙂

PS Isn’t it wonderful how two question marks (“??”) indicate a pleasant amount of impatience?

January 14, 2014 at 3:16 pm

I love the idea of adding questions in a blog post to engage the reader even more. Do you think this would apply to product descriptions as well?

January 14, 2014 at 3:17 pm

P.S. Love the illustration!

January 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Thank you 🙂

Good to see your (new?) avatar!

January 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm

That’s a good question! You made me think … Most product descriptions might be too short to include questions. Questions might sound unnatural as you don’t have enough time to really start a conversation. But if you write longer product descriptions it can work.

January 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm

A great post. Thank you so much. Loved the *3* essential tools you gave me. I could even ‘hear’ some dialect in your post, eh? Congratulations Henneke!

January 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm

You might be hearing my Dutch accent 😉

I used to be dead-nervous about using “Dutchisms” (phrases inspired by Dutch – my native language) in my blog posts, but I’ve now decided that’s part of my charm.

Thank you, John.

January 14, 2014 at 2:22 pm

H. Passive sentences are some of my challenges. How do you feel about checking your writing via http://www.read-able.com ? Keeps me on my finger tips. sQs Your advocate in Delray Beach FL

January 14, 2014 at 2:36 pm

I haven’t used this particular tool, but I have used the readability stats that Microsoft Word shows (if you tick the right box and do a spelling check). I’ve been a bit sloppier with this recently, but a year ago I would religiously check:

(a) the average number of words per sentence – I would go back to chop up long sentences and tighten my text when my average was over 14 words per sentence

(b) passive sentences – even if I had only 1% of passive sentences, I would try rephrasing the passive sentence. Occasionally I’d be happy to leave a passive sentence.

February 1, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Looks for the word “are” – it is not active. It is sitting on the couch. So are all verbs of “being.” If you catch one, try to change it. Example: “Passive sentences are some of my challenges” is more powerful as, “Passive sentences challenge me.” Whenever you can find the verb form of a noun, use it and remove “is” or “are.” Happy writing!

January 14, 2014 at 12:41 pm

‘Sleazy salesmen use exclamation marks. Good conversationalists use question marks.’ >> That is a world famous quote by Henneke D, did you know that?

January 14, 2014 at 1:20 pm

Somehow it feels like it has taken me a year to write these two sentences. They just clicked into place yesterday. To me they express the essence of good writing.

January 14, 2014 at 1:34 pm

Of effective writing, for sure!

January 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Henrietta looks very happy today! :))) Just a question: when you talk about “your favourite reader” why is it a “she”? Is it like boats, planes… and always feminine? Bit confused.

January 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I’m not sure who’s happier – Henrietta herself or her dog Arthur? 😉

Your reader can be a “she” or a “he”. It depends on who you like working with most.

January 14, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Truth is… I’m thinking about unsunbscribing from a blog for feeling that they care not for their readers.

The writing is good, so are the ideas — but their emails are nothing but links to the day’s post (ok, not much harm in that), while I see no answers on their blog comments, nor any real interaction on their FB page.

It’s only talk, talk, talk, or rather write-and-post-it, and I even think that even their blog commenters have tailed away lately.

January 14, 2014 at 1:10 pm

Yes, you make an excellent point. Readers can sense it immediately when writers don’t care and when they’re insincere.

January 14, 2014 at 11:59 am

You did it. I’m really waiting for the next slice of your home-made cake. 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 1:03 pm

Thank you, Paul 🙂

Don’t tell anyone, but the truth is that in real life I’m not so good at baking cakes – I prefer cooking a delicious meal!

January 14, 2014 at 11:56 am

Thanks Henneke, another keeper of a blog post. makes a lot of sense. Time for me to head off to the local cafe and write up the first draft of my next newsletter I think… Oh, and really like your illustrations, VERY cute doggie!

January 14, 2014 at 1:00 pm

Yes, that’s a good idea. I’m sure writing in a local cafe can make your content livelier, too!

Thank you for stopping by, Lynne 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 11:31 am

Can’t agree more! This is really good advice. And I love your illustration, Henneke!

January 14, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Thank you, Lucy. The book Leonardo’s Swans sounds interesting!

January 14, 2014 at 10:21 pm

Thank you for the link to the photos, Henneke. I’m feeling super inspired now! Have to do something like this with my paintings.

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About Henneke

I never saw myself as a writer, but in my early forties, I learned how to write and discovered the joy of writing. Now, I’d like to empower you to find your voice, share your ideas and inspire your audience. Learn how I can help you

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How to Write an Essay in Conversation Style

How to Determine the Tone of an Essay

Conversational essays are intended to engage the reader and draw them in more than a more formal essay would. The stylistic choices that writers use ultimately determine the level of formality of an essay. Narrative essays tend to be more conversational in style because they generally include personal anecdotes and are usually written in first person point of view, naturally giving them a more conversational tone.

Word Choice

An author’s choice of words greatly affects an essay’s style. It helps to use simple words when creating a conversational style, as if you are speaking directly to the reader. Colloquial phrases almost never appear in a formal essay, but they can be used to great effect to create a conversational tone in a narrative essay. For example, if you are writing about what makes a great teacher and you wanted to say that long lectures are boring, in a conversational essay you can start out using a colloquialism. For example, "Classes where the teacher drones on forever aren't much fun, and students lose interest quickly." In a formal essay, a similar sentiment might read, "Teachers who only lecture aren't as effective as teachers who provide engaging activities for the students."

Point of View

Using a first person point of view is another way to create a conversational tone in an essay, especially narrative essays, because it gives the tone of the essay a more relaxed and conversational feel. For example, a first person account of your favorite teacher will give an essay a more conversational feel than if you are writing a more distanced third person account of teachers in general. A conversational essay feels more immediate and personal, and a first person point of view helps provide that sense of immediacy. Readers will feel that you are speaking directly to them instead of to the audience at large.

Rhetorical Questions

Asking readers rhetorical questions often engages them by creating a “dialogue” in the minds of the readers. As they read and mentally respond to the questions you pose, they become part of a conversation with you, the author of the essay. This mental engagement helps create a more conversational style.

Inserting humor into an essay also lightens the formality of the rigid essay structure. Whether it’s a humorous introduction or a sprinkling of witty but relevant remarks throughout the essay, using humor creates a more conversational tone in an essay. Humor shortens the emotional distance between people and encourages dialogue. This makes an essay more conversational because readers feel like they are a part of the writing and not just spectators. But, be careful not to overdo the humor as too much or too overt humor can take your essay from conversational to frivolous and silly.

Related Articles

List of Voice Types in Literature

Speech Vs. Essay

Problems That Students Encounter With Essay Writing

How to Write a Humor Essay

How to Write a Speculative Essay

What Are the Differences Between Formal & Informal Speech?

How to Identify Diction

Five Types of Genres in Writing

• Writers Digest: Crafting a First-Person Essay
• Writing Commons: Using First Person in an Academic Essay: When is It Okay?

Stacy Alleyne is a certified English teacher with a BA in English and graduate work in English, education, journalism and law. She has written numerous articles and her own dining column for the "Gazette."

Introduction to College Writing

Essays as conversation.

Think of an essay as participating in a conversation, in which you offer your ideas and provide details to explain those ideas to others. Writers do not make their claims in an enormous blank room where no one else is and nothing else has ever happened. Writers make their claims in the real world where people with other opinions, values, beliefs, and experiences live. To make a claim is to enter into a conversation with these people. The rhetorician Kenneth Burke once famously described this as a parlor or a party to which you have come late to find out that people are already in heated discussions about a topic. Everyone has been in these kinds of arguments.

For example, you arrive somewhere to meet two friends and discover that they are discussing where to go to dinner or what movie to see. Each friend presents his or her argument, setting out evidence for why this restaurant or movie is a good choice, and each friend pokes holes in the other person’s argument, pointing out why you would not enjoy that restaurant or movie. You are expected to take a role in this discussion. Maybe you take a stand with one friend over the other or maybe you try to reach a compromise and propose a third restaurant or movie that everyone could accept. This can lead to even further discussion.

This discussion between three friends is somewhat like Burke’s idea of the parlor but there are differences. Eventually the conversation between the three friends will reach an end: they will go to dinner or a movie, perhaps, or they will all go home. Everyone entered into the conversation, made his or her claims, responded to other people, and went on with his or her life. their lives. Burke, however, was talking about the conversations and arguments that take place in the larger culture and the world as a whole. Those are the larger conversations you’ll participate in as you deal with issues in psychology, business management, literature, history…whatever your specific academic focus is in whatever college course you are taking at the moment. Essay writing is one way of participating in that conversation.

Remember that college essay assignments often expect you to delve deeply into an issue, analyzing its various sides in order to come to your own conclusions, based on your observations, insights, and appropriate research.  As you develop your own conclusions, you’ll have interesting ideas to offer in conversation.

Although the following video references graduate-level students, the same concepts hold true for undergraduate college writing, in which you’ll start learning how to join a conversation.

• Essays as Conversation. Revision and adaptation of the page Writing Commons: Michael Charlton's Understanding How Conversations Change Over Time at https://learn.saylor.org/mod/page/view.php?id=6695. Authored by : Susan Oaks. Provided by : Empire State College, SUNY OER Services. Project : College Writing. License : CC BY-NC: Attribution-NonCommercial
• Writing Commons: Michael Charlton's Understanding How Conversations Change Over Time. Authored by : Michael Charlton. Provided by : Saylor Academy. Located at : https://learn.saylor.org/mod/page/view.php?id=6695 . Project : ENGL001: English Composition I. License : Other . License Terms : Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license
• image of three friends in conversation. Authored by : rawpixel. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/adult-group-meeting-man-table-3365364/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved
• video An introduction to academic writing and research. Provided by : University of Roehampton. Located at : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kItASt4DjXA . License : Other . License Terms : Standard YouTube License

• If you are writing in a new discipline, you should always make sure to ask about conventions and expectations for introductions, just as you would for any other aspect of the essay. For example, while it may be acceptable to write a two-paragraph (or longer) introduction for your papers in some courses, instructors in other disciplines, such as those in some Government courses, may expect a shorter introduction that includes a preview of the argument that will follow.  
• In some disciplines (Government, Economics, and others), it’s common to offer an overview in the introduction of what points you will make in your essay. In other disciplines, you will not be expected to provide this overview in your introduction.  
• Avoid writing a very general opening sentence. While it may be true that “Since the dawn of time, people have been telling love stories,” it won’t help you explain what’s interesting about your topic.  
• Avoid writing a “funnel” introduction in which you begin with a very broad statement about a topic and move to a narrow statement about that topic. Broad generalizations about a topic will not add to your readers’ understanding of your specific essay topic.  
• Avoid beginning with a dictionary definition of a term or concept you will be writing about. If the concept is complicated or unfamiliar to your readers, you will need to define it in detail later in your essay. If it’s not complicated, you can assume your readers already know the definition.  
• Avoid offering too much detail in your introduction that a reader could better understand later in the paper.
• picture_as_pdf Introductions

Chapter 11: Editing and Evolving the Thesis and Outline

Starting a Conversation with Your Sources

As promised in Chapter 10, we will now address how to incorporate multiple sources, and indeed we’ve already practiced this strategy in building our argument/developing our three-storey thesis.

Incorporating multiple sources and getting them into conversation is the practice of using your sources to lay down building blocks or a framework within which to read your topic, or an aspect of it, and eventually develop your own ideas about it. It is useful as a scaffold upon which to build your argument. While you may agree or disagree with one or the other source, the point here is to actively use them in dialogue with each other to draw out a point you want to make about your reading of the primary source. You might reference points of similarity between them and the significance of differences in their arguments, but always with intention to draw some conclusion from this interaction about your reading and understanding of your topic. You might also consider how one source’s ideas respond to and qualify the ideas or claims of your other source. Your role then becomes to clarify their positions and moderate the conversation with the intent of eventually coming to a new perspective or new insight. A word of caution: always be clear regarding what source you are using and whose ideas you are referencing. Also be clear about what ideas belong to your sources and what ideas are your own.

Let’s look at an example. In Chapter 10, we already engaged in a conversation with McCosker and Johns’ article. We will now use that source in conjunction with Rambukanna and get these two talking to each other.

Similar to McCosker and Johns in “Productive Provocations: Vitrolic Media, Spaces of Protest and Agonistic Outrage in the 2011 England Riots,” Rambukanna examines online political spaces and the way they “do politics.” He notes that interactions in these online communities are both difficult and challenging and yet possibly constructive in effecting political or social change. He argues that online communities are often “angry” public spaces where committed and impassioned citizens engage in political discourses that are “flawed and messy.” Despite these challenging interactions, however, these communities have the potential to “crack[…] open stable systems of meaning-making.” In other words, it is precisely their frustration and rage that can be harnessed and directed toward disrupting the status quo. Without constructive conflict, activism becomes too insular.

Furthermore, Rambukanna, illustrates via the race-activist #RaceFail how participating in angry exchanges or “‘un-fix[ing] staid communication patterns” leads to disrupting or changing social systems (in this case, actively increasing awareness of race issues in the SFF sphere, leading to publishers actively seeking authors of colour as well as to the publications of anthologies and conferences dedicated to race issues in sci-fi and fantasy). For the most part, McCosker and Johns would agree with Rambukanna, as they too argue that “excesses of emotion and acts of often aggressive provocation” are “paramount” in civic and political engagement. McCosker and Johns also make it clear that passion and provocation are in fact productive because they prevent the very “disaffection” or disillusionment that can lead to violence. Online communities are the public forums and outlets that give the disenfranchised a voice before their frustrations turn destructive. For McCosker and Johns, this is their civil function or utility. Yet neither Rambukanna nor McCosker and Johns address the very real and alternative possibility that an excess of online rage (and cyberbullying) might also lead to a total breakdown of communication, increased insularity or entrenched viewpoints and offline violence. Some restraint and sensibility are also necessary in public debates on online communication forums.

In short, in light of the above research, the heated and passionate exchanges on the Occupy Wall Street Facebook page, even those that seem off topic or hostile, have the potential to lead to political activism so long as these disruptive voices are judiciously addressed or engaged and made relevant so their seemingly unrelated or acrimonious comments lead to constructive change and not violence. While it may not be possible to reach consensus in democratic spaces and open forums, like the Occupy Wall Street page, marginal voices must have an outlet and cannot be ignored, if such public spaces are to be considered democratic spaces and function as political tools.

Write Here, Right Now: An Interactive Introduction to Academic Writing and Research Copyright © 2018 by Ryerson University is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Describing and Explaining a Scholarly Conversation

Introduction

Entering into a conversation of any kind can be tricky if you are new to a group of people, topic, or even the tone of the conversation. If you don’t pause and listen to what people are saying for a moment before speaking, you can repeat something someone else has said, come across as speaking in bad faith, or strike up the wrong tone entirely. The same is true for engaging with a conversation within an academic discipline or topic of scholarship. To become a member of their scholarly community and enter the conversation, you may need to spend some time catching up on what people have said before you. While deciding when you have listened or read enough is going vary from topic to topic and assignment to assignment, the research process utilizes many concrete techniques and practices that can help you reach those goals. In this section of readings, you will read about some of those techniques and how they can serve you as a researcher and writer.

Questions and Arguments

Research is often described as a linear process, but it is often anything but. While there are recognizable phases and strategies, in extended research projects you can often find yourself doing certain tasks repeatedly, adjusting the scope of your research, changing your terms, or even discovering a related but functionally new topic that interests you more. In many ways, this makes sense because what we know can teach us what to ask. If you learn a lot about particle physics, for example, you begin to see what we don’t know and what would merit further study. “Listening” to the conversation doesn’t just teach you more about what to say, but also about how to listen even better.

Often our understanding of a topic starts broad and digs down into a particular group of ideas or applications, which is how some broad disciplines like engineering have vastly different subfields that deal with aerodynamics, construction, efficiency, computer software and hardware, chemicals, and many other areas. Our understanding of how manipulate and craft the world around us may have begun with general concerns, but the more we learned about the world, the more specific our questions have become. A computer engineer may spend the majority of their time examining how sound signals are processed and transmitted and may never even examine the particular chemical makeup of a pesticide that targets certain species but is virtually harmless to others, and yet both of those concerns fall under the umbrella of engineering. Similarly a historian who studies ancient Persia may never spend meaningful time considering the cultural impact of TikTok and other social media apps, but both topic could be considered to be part of the humanities or even the social sciences. In a similar way, your understanding of a concept may start off very broad, and so your initial questions about that topic may start equally broad, but as you learn more and gain a deeper understanding of a topic, your questions will change and become far more specific. Your questions will evolve from learning the definitions of terms and concepts to applying those terms to situations to test them out. So while early on in your research, you may have broad questions, if you allow these questions to evolve and change as you learn more and more about a topic, you will find your ability to research the topic improve as you go.

Similarly, when you are looking for a stance or argument to make on a topic for an assignment, you may find this stance evolve as you learn more about a topic. A topic that had initially seemed extremely simple to you at first may grow more and more complex as you delve into the research, which will likely make your argument more specific and granular. Or, alternatively, a topic which seemed hopelessly complicated may become much simpler to you as the true point of controversy becomes clear in the midst of a large and messy conversation. Or your argument may change in a dozen other ways. Regardless, allowing your stance to change along with your questions will not only help you better understand your topic, it will also help you better explain your perspective.

While research can be a tedious process, the goal is not simply to prove you deserve to speak about a topic, but to understand your topic as clearly as you can. By cultivating a deep understanding of a topic, you are better equipped to describe and demonstrate your stance on that topic. If someone is explaining why a business regulation should be stronger but they can’t clearly explain the details of the regulation, it is more difficult to follow the point they are making even if it is a good one. They may be completely right, but having as deep a knowledge about the regulations surrounding this business will help them select the best information to share and focus on the most important points of the conversation. While research can build your credibility as a writer, its greatest power is in how it builds your ability to write in the first place.

Engaging with research can do a lot of things for us as writers, learners, and people. Not only does it allow us to better understand the world around us, it also helps us to better position ourselves within that world and decide what we want to do about it. Not every research project may change your mind in a deep way, but every research project is an opportunity to better understand the world and yourself as a part of that world, and the readings that follow should help provide you with tools to do just that.

Writing Spaces at Oklahoma State University Copyright © 2023 by Dr. Joshua Daniel; Dr. Kathy Essmiller; Mark DiFrusio; Natasha Tinsley; Dr. Josiah Meints; Dr. Courtney Lund O'Neil; Dane Howard; and Roseanna Recchia is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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People generally use the term  writing to refer to a document or to the act of creating a document — putting words on the page. Most writing, however, is generated out of a need to communicate with an audience. Thus, we might think of writing as a conversation with that audience, rather than just as words on a page. This is especially true of the writing that faculty and other scholars do as part of their research. As emerging scholars, graduate writers will want to view writing as an opportunity to participate in the ongoing scholarly dialogue with others in their field. Writers at this level will be asked to make and defend arguments through their writing, and it will be important for them to recognize how their claims engage with and contribute to the existing scholarship in their field of study. Successfully entering the conversation will require knowledge of expected conventions such as those related to vocabulary choices, hedging, and document organization. 

This vidcast explores the idea of writing as a conversation in more detail. It also provides some information about how to find the conversation for a particular field, how to collect and organize sources for use in that conversation, and how to successfully interact with the conversation. 

Note: Closed-captioning and a full transcript are available for this vidcast. 

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• Effective communication
• How to Start an Email | 10 Greetings & Opening Lines

How to Start an Email | 10 Greetings & Opening Lines

Published on December 22, 2022 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on June 26, 2023.

Sending good emails is an important skill in academic and professional contexts. It’s essential to start your emails on the right foot with an appropriate greeting and an engaging opening line .

Below, we explore how to start an email, providing five professional greetings and five strong opening lines that you can use in your correspondence. We also explain the contexts where each one would be an appropriate choice.

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Table of contents

5 strong greetings (salutations), 5 good opening lines, how not to start an email, other interesting language articles, frequently asked questions.

For your email’s greeting (also called a salutation ), you don’t need to do anything fancy. Keep it simple and choose one of the tried and tested greetings below based on the context and the level of formality you’re aiming for.

1. Dear [full name],

Greeting the recipient by their full name is best when you haven’t previously interacted with them.

Use “Dear,” not the less formal greetings “Hello” and “Hi,” alongside someone’s full name to avoid creating a jarring combination of different levels of formality. Also avoid using this option if you’ve interacted with the person previously, as it comes across as overly stiff.

2. Dear [title and last name],

Using an abbreviated title (such as “Ms.” or “Dr.”) followed by the person’s last name is another way of greeting someone formally. This can be a good option to show respect to a superior in some context—for example, when writing to your professor at university. It’s also a formal way of addressing someone you’ve never interacted with before.

Use of titles like this is often considered somewhat old-fashioned, though. As such, it’s best saved for contexts in which you haven’t interacted with the person before or want to show a special level of respect.

3. Hi [first name],

People sometimes assume that all emails sent in a professional context need to be formal in tone, but this isn’t the case in most workplaces today. If you’ve had some previous interaction with a person, it’s normally fine to just greet them by their first name, preceded by “Hi,” “Hello,” or the slightly more formal “Dear.”

This kind of informal greeting is not appropriate in all contexts. If you’re applying for a job or contacting someone you don’t know, it’s best to go for something more formal. This kind of greeting is sometimes used in marketing emails, but some might find it presumptuous —always consider your target audience.

4. Dear [team, department, or job title],

When your email is addressed to someone whose name you don’t know, to a group of people, or to an organization or department, using alternative names is an appropriate choice: the person’s job title, the name of the team, or (in a more familiar context) something more generic like “team” or “everyone.”

Do this only when you have a good reason to. If you’re writing to an individual whose name you know or can reasonably find out, it’s better to use their name than something generic like a job title.

Sometimes a simple “Hello” or “Hi” is all you need. It’s a good, straightforward choice for a quick message to someone you communicate with frequently and don’t need to show any particular formality with. It lets you get straight to the point.

Though people sometimes choose this greeting when they’re not sure whom they’re writing to, it’s not a good choice in that context, as it can come across as overly blunt. In that situation, try using a job title or department name instead, as suggested above.

Check for common mistakes

Use the best grammar checker available to check for common mistakes in your text.

The opening line of the email itself is where you can catch the reader’s attention, build a rapport, or quickly communicate what you need from them.

1. I’m reaching out …

If you want to get straight to the point but don’t want to sound overly blunt (e.g., “I need you to do x for me by Tuesday”), a phrasing using “I’m reaching out” is a good choice. It avoids wasting your or the reader’s time but still comes across as polite and thoughtful.

However, this opening only really makes sense to begin or resume a conversation, not to continue an ongoing discussion. Use this expression for an unsolicited email, not a direct reply to a previous message.

I’m reaching out to let you know that I won’t be available for any assignments in April.

2. How are you?

A straightforward way too add a friendly personal touch to your email is to simply ask the recipient how they’re doing, how their week is going, what they did at the weekend, or something more specific if you know something about their interests. A generic “How are you?” is good enough but can seem formulaic—try emphasizing it with another sentence.

This kind of question is appropriate in an email to someone you know or work with regularly, but it will appear overfamiliar if sent to someone you’ve had no previous interaction with. Don’t open with this in your first email to someone.

How’s your week going? I took a couple of days off, so I’m still catching up.

3. Thanks for …

If you’re replying to someone directly, or following up on a previous discussion, one way to build a positive interaction is to thank them for their previous contribution. This could be for some information they gave you, something they did for you, or just taking the time to talk to you.

This opening obviously only makes sense if the person has done something for you. You could try thanking someone for opening your email in the first place, but it’s likely to come across as patronizing.

I appreciate your quick response. Regarding the invoice, …

4. I hope you …

Simply wishing the recipient well is a good way to start an email in a friendly way. Rather than the generic “ Hope you’re doing well ” or the slightly stiff “ I hope this email finds you well ,” try a more specific phrasing to emphasize the sincerity of your wishes.

Hope you had a good time on vacation!

5. We met at …

When writing to someone you don’t know well but with whom you’ve had some previous interaction, or with whom you have a mutual connection, it’s a good idea to start by explaining that connection or reminding them where you’ve previously met.

If that introduction involves mentioning a mutual connection, make sure you have their permission to do so.

Maybe you remember me from your first weekly meeting, but we didn’t get the chance to speak much at the time. I’m reaching out to …

There are many valid ways to start an email, but there are also a few common pitfalls to avoid.

Overly impersonal greeting

Greetings like “ Dear Sir or Madam ” and “ To Whom It May Concern ” are best avoided whenever possible. Besides sounding quite old-fashioned, they show the recipient that you’re not sure exactly whom you’re contacting. Always address the recipient by name if you can find it out; use something like a job title if not.

No greeting at all

Starting an email without any sort of greeting line is rarely appropriate in a professional context. While you might sometimes skip the greeting in personal emails to someone you know well, in a work email you should always have some kind of greeting, whether formal (e.g., “Dear Ms. Aoki”) or casual (e.g., “Hi John”).

Redundant opening

Consider whether your opening really adds anything of value or just wastes the reader’s time. Statements announcing what you’re going to do next in the email are usually unnecessary. Try cutting them out entirely.

• Let me introduce myself. My name is …
• I know you’re very busy, but do you have time to help me with something? I was wondering …
• Could you possibly do me a favor? I’d like to …

If you want to know more about commonly confused words , definitions , and differences between US and UK spellings , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

Confused words

• Affect vs effect
• Further vs farther
• Loose vs lose
• Whose vs who’s

Definitions

• Bear with me
• Presumptuous

US vs. UK spellings

• Burned or burnt
• Canceled or cancelled
• Dreamt or dreamed
• Gray or grey
• Theater vs theatre

You should start a professional email with a greeting and the name and title of the recipient (e.g., “Dear Mr. Walken”). Then, you should include an introductory line like I hope this email finds you well , followed by the body of the email.

For less formal emails, you can use a more casual introductory line like I hope you’re doing well .

Miss is a title for an unmarried woman or girl (e.g., “Miss Jones”). It cannot be used for a married woman. It is sometimes seen as slightly old-fashioned, since it defines the woman by her marital status.

Ms. is a title for a woman whose marital status is unknown, for an older unmarried woman, or for any woman in a context where you don’t want to emphasize the woman’s marital status. It’s intended to be neutral, in that it can be used for married and unmarried women alike—much like “Mr.” can be used for married and unmarried men.

Some synonyms and phrases related to I hope this email finds you well include:

• It is a pleasure connecting with you again
• I hope you are doing well
• I hope you are having a productive week

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How to Start a Conversation

8 Tips and Starter Topics

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Prepare Ahead of Time

Beware of conversation killers, keep it positive, start simple, ask for help, check your body language, listen and express interest, strike a balance.

Some people seem to have a knack for making conversation, while others struggle to make small talk. Knowing how to start a conversation is a valuable social skill. Whether you want to impress a potential client, strike up a conversation with a love interest, or chat with a new acquaintance, knowing how to initiate a conversation can help you feel more comfortable and confident in various social situations.

If you want to get better at starting a conversation, explore some tips to improve your communication. Preparing ahead, avoiding communication killers, and using simple conversation starters can be helpful.

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This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring best-selling author Celeste Headlee, shares how to have better conversations. Click below to listen now.

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If a room full of strangers is your idea of a waking nightmare, starting a conversation at a party or work event can be incredibly daunting. These social situations can be challenging if you are introverted , shy , or socially anxious .

One way to ease anxiety is to prepare in advance. Mentally review what you want to discuss and even consider practicing with a friend. The first step toward becoming an amazing conversationalist is to be prepared.

If you are nervous about starting a conversation, try these three simple strategies before you begin:

• Stay positive: Stop worrying about making mistakes and have faith in your abilities. Worrying too much about what you will say next can cause you to lose track of the conversation as it’s happening. Instead, use active listening and stay focused on the other person and what they are saying.
• Take a deep breath: If you are tense and nervous, you're less likely to feel at ease. Try to stay relaxed and just let the conversation flow naturally.
• Introduce yourself: One of the simplest ways to begin is to just introduce yourself and then give the other person the chance to do the same. Once this initial icebreaker has taken place, try asking a simple question or making a simple observation to help inspire further discussion.

Before starting a conversation, take a deep breath, focus on the other person, and begin by simply introducing yourself.

While it should go without saying, there are a few things you should avoid unless you are very familiar with the person with whom you are speaking.

While political commentary, gossip, complaints, and offensive jokes might be how your uncle starts conversations during your family get-togethers, it is probably not an example you should try to emulate in your day-to-day life.

As you initiate conversations, anything offensive, controversial, or uncomfortable should be avoided. There is a time and place to express your opinion or even try to persuade others, but ensure that such topics are welcome before you launch into an impassioned debate.

Some research suggests that when it comes to conversation openers, your best bet may be to stick to fairly innocuous comments. In one study, participants were asked to rate the effectiveness of several opening lines that might come from a potential romantic partner: flippant "pick-up" lines, open-ended, innocuous questions, and the direct approach.

Few respondents appreciated the pick-up line approach, but responses tended to be split regarding preferences for the other two opening styles. Women tended to prefer innocuous questions ("What's your favorite team?"), while men favored the more direct approach ("I'd like to buy you a drink!").

It is best to stick to the innocuous approach when choosing a way to initiate a conversation with a stranger. This type of conversation opener tends to be less threatening yet encourages the other person to provide some response.

Try to start your conversation on an upbeat note. Stay away from launching into complaints or making negative observations. No matter what the situation is, you can find something positive to say.

Comment on the weather, the food, the company, or the event itself. Saying something as simple as you are having a good time and hoping that your conversation partner is having a pleasant experience as well is a good way to get a conversation rolling. Even if the situation itself is not perfect, try to put a positive spin on it.

Comments to Lead With

• “That was a really great presentation, wasn’t it?”
• “Whoever organized this event sure did a great job!”
• “Your presentation was excellent. I feel like I really learned a lot!”
• “It’s quite cold today but the weather report said that tomorrow is supposed to be nice and sunny.”

People tend to respond better to a positive comment rather than a negative one. It helps show that you are a pleasant person who pays attention to what’s going on. Staying positive also helps put others at ease. As a result, people will be more interested in continuing a conversation with you.

Not every great conversation needs to begin with a deep, philosophical, earth-shattering observation. Simple icebreaker comments or questions are a great way to begin.

Examples include:

• "The weather has been lovely."
• "The food here is delicious."
• "How do you know the host?"
• "Are you having a nice time?"

Commenting on the weather, the room, or the food might seem cliche, but there is a reason why this sort of icebreaker works so well. It’s a simple, easy way to get a conversation rolling, offering a bit of common ground between two strangers. Talking about inconsequential things can lead to further conversations about personal preferences, backgrounds, hobbies, and deeper topics that can help forge social bonds between people.

What the Research Says

In one study published in the journal Psychological Science , researchers performed naturalistic observations on participants to record both small talk and deep conversations over several days. What they found is that people who engaged in deeper, personal conversations also had higher levels of happiness.

This might mean that happy people are more likely to engage others in meaningful conversations—but it also might mean that such substantive conversations may lead to greater happiness. The researchers suggest that “the findings demonstrate that the happy life is social rather than solitary and conversationally deep rather than superficial.”

Not everyone loves making small talk, but it can be an important first step leading to deeper, more meaningful conversations. For example, asking someone about what they are currently working on might lead to a deeper conversation about goals for the future.

While starting a conversation often begins by focusing on small, trivial things, research suggests that having more deep conversations may be linked to greater happiness and well-being.

Learning how to start a conversation can help lead you into these more consequential social connections.

Asking a question is a great way to start a conversation. Doing this not only gives you a reason to engage the other person—but it also gives them a chance to be helpful.

When using this approach, start with something simple that can be accomplished without a great deal of effort. For example, you might ask someone if they know what time a workshop begins or directions to a particular location.

Conversation Starters

• “Do you happen to know where I could get a schedule?”
• “Have you seen an earring? I seem to have lost one.”
• “Do you know if there will be refreshments served after the workshop?”

One of the benefits of this approach is that asking a simple question can lead to further conversation about other topics. Once you have posed your question and the other person has offered their assistance, it creates something of a reciprocal social contract between you and your conversation partner.

Since they have offered their assistance, it is now up to you to give your thanks and introduce yourself. This can serve as an opportunity for you to ask more about the other person—who they are, what brings them here, and other questions that are relevant given the setting and situation.

Sometimes what you don’t say is just as important as what you do say. As you strike up a new conversation, it is important to pay attention to your nonverbal communication.

Body language can be used to convey interest and emotion. A friendly expression, comfortable stance, and good eye contact, for example, can help show that you have a genuine interest in learning more about another person. Slouching, looking away, and frowning, on the other hand, might make your conversation partner feel that you are bored or disinterested.

Encouraging nonverbal signals include:

• An open posture , which involves keeping the trunk of your body open with your arms relaxed, helps convey a sense of friendliness.
• Good eye contact involves looking at a person’s eyes. Don’t stare, which can be threatening. Instead, keep things natural, looking at the other person’s eyes but glancing away occasionally.
• Smiling can be helpful, as long as it seems genuine and natural. Avoid faking a big smile and try to go for a relaxed but uplifting expression.

It can be intimidating to try to talk to someone when it feels that you have little in common. In these situations, getting the other person to talk about their own interests, work, or expertise can be a useful way to start a conversation.

Ask a question about what the other person does, then focus on really listening to what they have to say. People often enjoy talking about things they are passionate about, so expressing a genuine interest in the things that other people enjoy can be excellent fuel for a great conversation.

Text or Social Media Conversations

The same rules apply if you are trying to start a conversation in text or online. Start simple and ask a question, preferably something that requires more than a yes or no response. Keep it positive, and show interest in what the other person says.

A good conversation does not rely on just one approach.

The best discussions involve a mixture of asking questions, listening to what other people have to say, and sharing things about yourself.

A simple conversation might start by:

• Asking some basic information (“Did you enjoy the presentation?”)
• Listening to the answer (“It was great! I feel like I really learned a lot!”)
• Disclosing your own thoughts (“I thought so as well. I already have some ideas about how I can incorporate those tips into my work process.”)
• Next, you might repeat the process by asking another question, or your conversation partner might then choose to ask a question about your earlier response.)

You may also find it helpful to ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." For example, you might ask "How did you like the speaker?" instead of "Did you like the speaker?"

Learning how to start a conversation is an important skill that can help you build social connections in a wide variety of contexts. It can be difficult initially, particularly if you struggle with shyness or social anxiety, but gaining plenty of practice is the key to become more comfortable talking to other people.

Try to think of every one of these interactions as a practice session. The more often you initiate discussions with others, the stronger your conversational skills will become.

3 Rules of a Good Conversation

Three simple rules that can help you have a better conversation are:

• Listen attentively and don't interrupt
• Ask questions
• Keep the conversation positive

Final Thoughts

Forging strong social connections is critical for both physical and mental health. Research has found that forming social relationships is linked to a stronger immune system, increased longevity, lower anxiety levels, greater empathy for others, and better self-esteem . By learning how to start a conversation, you will be better able to forge the social connections that are so critical to health and well-being.

Jahromi VK, Tabatabaee SS, Abdar ZE, Rajabi M. Active listening: The key of successful communication in hospital managers .  Electron Physician . 2016;8(3):2123-2128. doi:10.19082/2123

Kleinke CL, Meeker FB, Staneski RA. Preference for opening lines: comparing ratings by men and women . Sex Roles . 1986;15:585-600. doi:10.1007/BF00288216

Mehl MR, Vazire S, Holleran SE, Clark CS. Eavesdropping on happiness: well-being is related to having less small talk and more substantive conversations .  Psychol Sci . 2010;21(4):539-541. doi:10.1177/0956797610362675

Umberson D, Montez, JK. Social relationships and health: A flashpoint for health policy . Journal of Health and Social Behavior . 2010;51(Suppl):S54-S66. doi:10.1177/0022146510383501

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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How to Start a Conversation

Let’s face it: starting a conversation can be intimidating . Whether you’re meeting a total stranger, trying to network , or on a first (or even tenth) date , it’s often difficult to know what to say to start a conversation and keep it flowing.

Introducing yourself to a stranger or approaching an acquaintance might seem anxiety-inducing, but it shouldn’t be. “It’s far riskier to get on a highway in a car than it is to walk up to somebody at a party or a networking event,” says Debra Fine, author of the Fine Art of Small Talk . Luckily, even though it might seem like good conversation skills are something some people are just born with, all it takes is a bit of practice.

Here are Fine’s tips on how to start a conversation.

1. Remember there’s no such thing as a “perfect line.”

According to Fine, people tend to get hung up on searching for the “perfect line” to start a conversation. “There is no perfect line,” Fine says. “Be the first to say hello. The worst thing they can do is reject you.” Chances are, they’ll be happy you introduced yourself.

2. Use what you already know to your advantage.

You’re at the same party as this person, right? Or maybe you’re at a networking event for the same industry. Fine calls facts like these “free information about the occasion or location,” and recommends that you use them to your advantage to strike up a conversation. If you’re at the same party, chances are you were invited by the same person, so you can ask, “what’s your connection to the host or hostess?”

3. Don’t ask “How are you?”

Fine says that asking “how are you?” is a lazy way to start a conversation, but that most people don’t know better. If someone else asks how you are, you can still turn it into an interesting chat. Instead of just saying “good,” give the other person something to work with. This can be anything: you can say you’ve been busy at work, or tell them that you’re going home for the holidays. Just keep it short. “Only a sentence, not a narrative,” says Fine.

4. Instead, say “Tell me about you.”

If you’re talking to someone you just met, ask them to tell you about them self. Fine recommends asking, “Tell me about you.” It’s an open-ended question that lets whoever you’re talking to choose what they want to tell you about. They can decide what they want you to know about them, and the conversation will flow from there.

5. Ask, “Catch me up on your life since the last time I saw you.”

If you’re striking up a conversation with a friend or acquaintance, this is a simple lead-in. Fine likes to ask this question because it doesn’t put someone on the spot if they’ve recently gone through a life change. Nothing is more of a buzz-kill than asking someone about their job only to find out they’ve been recently let go.

6. Ask someone what keeps them busy.

Instead of asking, “What do you do?” Fine prefers a more open-ended approach. She likes to ask, “What keeps you busy?” “It’s just a much better way to launch a conversation with someone,” she says. Keep in mind where you met the person: If it’s someone you know from work or school, ask what keeps them busy outside of that. Unlike asking someone if they’re married or what they do for work, an open-ended question gives the other person more flexibility with how they respond.

7. It’s okay to offer your opinion, but give the other person a chance to offer theirs, too.

We all have opinions, and a lot of times, they spark conversations. But if you want to keep conversation flowing, you need to make sure that the person you’re talking to has a chance to voice their opinion too. “I’m very careful to say, ‘and what do you think about that?’” says Fine. “As long as you solicit the other person’s opinion, it does not hurt conversation.”

8. Offer verbal cues.

No one wants to feel like they’re talking to a wall. One key to being a better conversationalist is to let people know that you’re following along, says Fine, who recommends giving verbal cues. As someone is talking to you, ask simple questions so they know you’re listening and paying attention. Oh, what did you mean by that? What happened first? What happened next? I see. Well, that must have been tough.

9. Body language is everything.

You’ll be a more successful conversationalist if you look approachable. “Even if you feel serious and or overwhelmed by walking into a room where you don’t know anyone, try to find a smile to put on your face,” Fine says. “Look approachable, give eye contact. You’re more likely to have someone walk up to you than if your eyes are down.” Be aware of your body language throughout the conversation. If you tend to keep your arms crossed, Fine recommends wearing something with pockets to avoid looking closed off.

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Essay Writing Guide

How To Start An Essay

How to Start an Essay- A Step-by-Step Guide

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Starting an essay can be quite a challenge. It's a hurdle many writers stumble over, yet it's a crucial one. 

Crafting an introduction that's not only attention-grabbing but also compelling is the cornerstone of successful essay writing . 

In this blog, we will explain everything about starting an essay. We will discuss how to begin different types of essays and what are some common ways to start an essay. Additionally, we'll highlight some common mistakes to avoid in your essay's introduction.

So let's get started!

• 1. How to Start an Essay Introduction?
• 2. How to Start an Essay With a Quote?
• 3. How to Start an Essay With a Question?
• 4. How to Start an Essay With a Fact?
• 5. How to Start an Essay With an Anecdote?
• 6. Words To Start An Essay Introduction
• 7. Sentences To Start An Essay
• 8. How to Start an Essay - Examples
• 9. Other Common Ways of Starting an Essay
• 10. Mistakes to Avoid When Starting an Essay

How to Start an Essay Introduction?

In academic writing, the only chance to make readers stick to your paper is to start off with an interesting and engaging introductory paragraph.

The introduction typically starts by setting the stage and presenting vital background information about your specific topic.

Make your introduction catchy and interesting to both inform and motivate your readers. In this way, you can make your opening of the essay as compelling as possible.

Here are the steps that you need to follow to create an engaging essay introduction: 

• Start With an Interesting Hook
• Provide Background Information 
• Write Your Thesis Statement 
• Map the Structure of Your Essay 
• Edit and Revise at the End 

Let’s explain these steps in detail below.

Step 1: Start With an Interesting Hook 

An essay hook is an opening statement that strives to grab people’s interest and attention. Always start an essay introduction with a hook to make your essay appealing.    Here are different types of hooks that can be used in your introduction paragraph:

• Rhetorical Questions
• Or a random funny statement

The kind of hook that should be used in the essay depends on the topic and type of your essay. If addressing a serious and sad issue, do not use a casual or funny statement. It would be better to use quotations or anecdotes for such essays. 

Likewise, if your topic is casual and humorous, try to open your essay lightly and casually.  You can ask a funny question or start with a random funny statement. 

You can also go through an interesting hook example and learn how to start a paragraph with interesting hooks. 

Step 2: Provide Background Information

After starting the introduction with a compelling hook, you need to provide background information about your topic. 

The background information is provided to familiarize your audience with the topic and the main argument. 

Providing background knowledge in the introduction is not as easy as it seems. You have to stop yourself from sharing excess information in the introductory paragraph. This will bore your audience, and they will stop reading for sure.    Just slightly give an idea about your topic and move on. You should not spoil the surprise coming for readers in the body paragraphs. 

Step 3: Write Your Thesis Statement

The last component of an introduction is the thesis statement. It is a 1-2 line sentence statement that sums up the main concept and the argument of your essay.    A thesis statement is considered a road map for your essay and provides your reader with an idea about the essay. It sets the tone of the essay, and the reader gets a slight hint about what they are going to read further. 

The rest of the paragraphs that come before the conclusion are the body of your essay. They contain all the reasons and shreds of evidence that support and back your thesis statement. 

Quick Tip: Always firmly present your argument in the thesis statement. Do not fill it with excessive information. The thesis statement is meant to convey your stance!

Step 4: Map the Structure of Your Essay

This is especially helpful for longer essays as it informs the readers about what is to come in each section of the essay. Keep this part concise and to the point, and give your readers a clear direction of your essay.

If your essay is short or discusses fewer ideas, this step may not be necessary. But, in the case of a longer essay, the mapping will inform the readers about the things being further discussed in the essay.

Step 5: Edit and Revise at the End

Once done with the writing, edit and revise the introduction. Make sure that you have added a compelling hook, adequate background information, and a thesis statement.

Furthermore, keep in mind that your introduction should be according to the type of essay that you are writing. 

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How to Start an Essay With a Quote?

Here is how to start your essay with a quote:

• Begin with a relevant quote that ties directly to your essay's topic.
• Provide context for the quote to help readers understand its significance.
• Properly cite the author, source, and publication date of the quote.
• Transition smoothly from the quote to your thesis statement.
• Analyze the quote's meaning and how it supports your argument.
• Ensure the content of your essay's body aligns with the quote and analysis.

Here are some expert tips for putting a quote at the start of an essay:

• Avoid adding frequently used quotes that are familiar to everyone.
• Explain how the quote relates to your main point.
• Select a quote that your target audience can easily understand and relate to.

How to Start an Essay With a Question?

The easiest way to start an introduction is to ask a question to your readers to engage them immediately. Asking questions gives an image of a one-on-one conversation, which is super effective.    Seeing a question first will make your audience look for the answer in the content. 

A rhetorical question is a good kickstart to your essay, as such a type of beginning is attractive to readers. 

If you start with an intriguing question, the answer of which is not clear, then you should provide the answer within the text. Keep in mind that the rhetorical question does not require any specific reply. 

How to Start an Essay With a Fact?

Including interesting facts or statistics in your introduction helps you to take hold of your readers. Facts and stats are good attention grabbers for any piece of writing. Everyone gets entertained by the interesting and fun facts as they provide the context and background information of the topic. 

For serious issues that are global, you can present shocking statistics or news to instantly grab your reader’s attention. 

Choose facts and figures from credible and trustworthy sources. Your facts should support or prove your point of view or argument being presented later on in the essay. 

Starting an essay with a shocking fact from a credible source is an effective way to start an essay, followed by explanations to convince the readers.

How to Start an Essay With an Anecdote?

Another interesting way to start an essay is with a brief anecdote. It is about setting a short story at the start to show how it reveals the important features of your theme. 

This hook is appropriate to use if you are writing descriptive or narrative essays. The anecdote should be short, simple, and to the point. Make sure it relates to the central idea of your essay. 

Words To Start An Essay Introduction

Here are some effective words and phrases to begin an essay introduction:

• Intriguingly: Intriguingly, the concept of...
• Unquestionably: Unquestionably, the most critical issue is...
• Surprisingly: Surprisingly, the data reveals...
• Notably: Notably, this phenomenon has far-reaching implications.
• Evidently: Evidently, the evidence suggests...
• Arguably: Arguably, one of the most contentious topics is...
• It is imperative to: It is imperative to address the issue of...
• Historically: Historically, this problem has persisted for centuries.
• In today's context: In today's context the relevance of this cannot be overstated.
• To illustrate: To illustrate, consider the following example….
• In contemporary society: In contemporary society, the issue of...
• Remarkably: Remarkably, few have explored the implications of...
• Undoubtedly: Undoubtedly, this problem warrants immediate attention.
• Consequently: Consequently, this leads us to question...
• In light of this: In light of this, it becomes evident that...
• Fundamentally: Fundamentally, the core issue revolves around...
• In recent years: In recent years, there has been a growing interest in...
• In an ever-changing world: In an ever-changing world, it is crucial to consider...
• To shed light on: To shed light on this matter, we will delve into...
• As a result: As a result, we are compelled to explore the implications of…

Sentences To Start An Essay

Here are some interesting sentences to start an essay: 

• Have you ever wondered about the impact of climate change on our planet?
• In a remote village nestled among the mountains, a young girl's journey began.
• "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," said Franklin D. Roosevelt.
• Shockingly, 70% of marine life is threatened by plastic pollution.
• While some embrace technology, others yearn for a simpler, analog life.
• Democracy, the cornerstone of modern societies, is often misunderstood.
• A tranquil dawn, with the sun's first rays painting the sky in hues of gold.
• Did you know that octopuses have three hearts and blue blood?
• As a child, I often marveled at the stars, wondering about the cosmos.
• Society teeters on the brink of a digital revolution that will redefine human existence.

How to Start an Essay - Examples

Examining various essay introduction examples provides valuable insights into captivating your reader's interest right from the start. 

Check out these examples for guidance on crafting powerful opening lines.

How to Start an Informative Essay?

How to Start an Analysis Essay?

How to Start an Application Essay?

How to Start an Expository Essay?

How to Start an Analytical Essay?

How to Start an Essay About a Book?

How to start an Opinion Essay?

How to Start an Autobiography Essay?

How to Start an Essay on Climate Change?

How to Start an Essay on Covid-19?

How to Start an Essay About Women’s Rights?

How to Start a Paragraph in an Essay?

The best way to start a paragraph in an essay is to write the topic sentence. The topic sentence tells the reader what the paragraph is going to be about. After the topic sentence, the supporting details are further provided.

Read this example to know how to start a paragraph. 

How to Start a Conclusion in an Essay?

To start a conclusion in an essay, you should write a rephrased thesis statement first. As it is the crux of your whole essay. Further on, the points discussed in the essay can be summarized one by one in the concluding paragraph. 

Here is an example of how to write a conclusion to help you understand this better. 

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Other Common Ways of Starting an Essay

Besides the ones given above, here are some common ways of beginning your essay on a strong and engaging footing.

Stating the Thesis Statement Briefly

Instead of adding your thesis statement plainly, make the tone engaging and keep it brief.

Beginning with an Interesting Discovery

Discoveries and little-known details always interest the readers. They are curious and they want to know more. This makes this kind of essay very interesting and irresistible for your readers.

Describe the Setting of Your Essay

Presenting the setting of your essay to set the mood of your audience. This helps them know where your essay is heading.

Recount an Event

Recount an event to add drama to your essay. This also helps the readers to connect with you on a deeper level.

Use the Narrative Delay Technique

This technique works best in piquing your audience’s interest and keeping them on the edge of their seats. However, do not linger on it too much and use this technique carefully.

Present a Historical Event in the Present Tense

Use historical present tense to add weightage to your narrative. It makes the readers feel as if the event is taking place at the present moment.

Describe a Process Briefly

Describe a process briefly that leads to your main essay topic.

Reveal a Secret

“How to start an essay about yourself for college?”

People are always interested in knowing secrets. This is what makes this technique so good. Use it to reveal some secrets about yourself, if you are writing an essay about yourself.

Present a Comparison between the Past and Present

It is a very effective technique as it helps the readers see the comparison between past and present situations.

Give a Contrast between Virtual & Actual Reality

There are many things that we believe to be true, a.k.a. Virtual reality. This technique helps you in presenting what a myth is and what reality is. Breaking the myths is an effective technique to grab someone’s attention.

Mistakes to Avoid When Starting an Essay

Here are a few mistakes that should be avoided for writing a great essay introduction. 

• Starting Without a Plan: Launching into your essay without a clear outline is a recipe for confusion.
• Weak, Generic Hooks: Using clichés or dull openings that fail to grab your reader's attention.
• Excessive Formality: Overloading your intro with formal language can bore your audience.
• Info Overload: Bombarding readers with too much background information can overwhelm them.
• Unclear Thesis: Failing to state your essay's purpose upfront leaves readers puzzled.
• Irrelevant Quotes: Using quotes that don't connect directly to your topic is a misstep.
• Ignoring Your Audience: Neglecting your audience's interests can lead to disengagement.
• Procrastinating Intro: Leaving the intro for last often results in rushed, ineffective beginnings.
• Repetitive Content: Repeating what's in the body of your essay makes the intro redundant.
• Skipping Proofreading: Overlooking errors in grammar and punctuation undermines your intro's credibility.

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Professional assistance is all you need for your writing worries. Our online essay writer is available 24/7 to provide you with custom essays so you can score perfect grades. 

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Frequently Asked Questions

What is a good introduction sentence for an essay.

A good instruction sentence for an essay is one that captures the reader's attention with an interesting hook. After writing the hook, give them some context by providing background information that will help set up what is to come in later paragraphs or sections of the paper/essay.

Finally, conclude your introduction with a thesis statement that states both concisely and specifically what main point(s) are being made about this topic along with why it matters.

What are 3 ways of starting your essay?

The three most recommended ways to start off an essay are: 

• Quotation: By a famous person that fits the context of your essay. 
• Question: That engages the reader to find the answer in your essay. 
• Facts or Statistics: That is startling so that the reader’s attention can be grabbed. 

What words can you use to start an essay?

Some words that can be used to start an essay are once, next, then, in fact, similarly, or a time word like first, second, third. You can also use sequential transitions to merge your hook to the rest of the introduction paragraph. These transition words include, for example, consequently, for this reason, or another addition transition.

What is a good paragraph starter?

A good paragraph starter is a brief yet complete topic sentence. The topic sentence should adequately give the reader an idea about what is going to be discussed in the rest of the paragraph. The topic sentence should also prove your thesis statement.

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Nova Allison is a Digital Content Strategist with over eight years of experience. Nova has also worked as a technical and scientific writer. She is majorly involved in developing and reviewing online content plans that engage and resonate with audiences. Nova has a passion for writing that engages and informs her readers.

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How not to write your college essay.

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If you are looking for the “secret formula” for writing a “winning” college essay, you have come to the wrong place. The reality is there is no silver bullet or strategy to write your way to an acceptance. There is not one topic or approach that will guarantee a favorable outcome.

At the end of the day, every admission office just wants to know more about you, what you value, and what excites you. They want to hear about your experiences through your own words and in your own voice. As you set out to write your essay, you will no doubt get input (both sought-after and unsolicited) on what to write. But how about what NOT Notcoin to write? There are avoidable blunders that applicants frequently make in drafting their essays. I asked college admission leaders, who have read thousands of submissions, to share their thoughts.

Don’t Go In There

There is wide consensus on this first one, so before you call on your Jedi mind tricks or predictive analytics, listen to the voices of a diverse range of admission deans. Peter Hagan, executive director of admissions at Syracuse University, sums it up best, saying, “I would recommend that students try not to get inside of our heads. He adds, “Too often the focus is on what they think we want.”

Andy Strickler, dean of admission and financial aid at Connecticut College agrees, warning, “Do NOT get caught in the trap of trying to figure out what is going to impress the admission committee. You have NO idea who is going to read your essay and what is going to connect with them. So, don't try to guess that.” Victoria Romero, vice president for enrollment, at Scripps College adds, “Do not write about something you don’t care about.” She says, “I think students try to figure out what an admission officer wants to read, and the reality is the reader begins every next essay with no expectations about the content THEY want to read.” Chrystal Russell, dean of admission at Hampden-Sydney College, agrees, saying, “If you're not interested in writing it, we will not be interested when reading it.” Jay Jacobs, vice provost for enrollment management at the University of Vermont elaborates, advising. “Don’t try to make yourself sound any different than you are.” He says, “The number one goal for admission officers is to better understand the applicant, what they like to do, what they want to do, where they spend the majority of their time, and what makes them tick. If a student stays genuine to that, it will shine through and make an engaging and successful essay.”

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Don’t Be Artificial

The headlines about college admission are dominated by stories about artificial intelligence and the college essay. Let’s set some ground rules–to allow ChatGPT or some other tool to do your work is not only unethical, it is also unintelligent. The only worse mistake you could make is to let another human write your essay for you. Instead of preoccupying yourself with whether or not colleges are using AI detection software (most are not), spend your time focused on how best to express yourself authentically. Rick Clark is the executive director of strategic student success at Georgia Institute of Technology, one of the first institutions to clearly outline their AI policy for applicants. He says, “Much of a college application is devoted to lines, boxes, and numbers. Essays and supplements are the one place to establish connection, personality, and distinction. AI, in its current state, is terrible at all three.” He adds, “My hope is that students will use ChatGPT or other tools for brainstorming and to get started, but then move quickly into crafting an essay that will provide insight and value.”

Don’t Overdo It

Michael Stefanowicz, vice president for enrollment management at Landmark College says, “You can only cover so much detail about yourself in an admission essay, and a lot of students feel pressure to tell their life story or choose their most defining experience to date as an essay topic. Admission professionals know that you’re sharing just one part of your lived experience in the essay.” He adds, “Some of the favorite essays I’ve read have been episodic, reflecting on the way you’ve found meaning in a seemingly ordinary experience, advice you’ve lived out, a mistake you’ve learned from, or a special tradition in your life.” Gary Ross, vice president for admission and financial aid at Colgate University adds, “More than a few applicants each year craft essays that talk about the frustration and struggles they have experienced in identifying a topic for their college application essay. Presenting your college application essay as a smorgasbord of topics that ultimately landed on the cutting room floor does not give us much insight into an applicant.”

Don’t Believe In Magic

Jason Nevinger, senior director of admission at the University of Rochester warns, “Be skeptical of anyone or any company telling you, ‘This is the essay that got me into _____.’ There is no magic topic, approach, sentence structure, or prose that got any student into any institution ever.” Social media is littered with advertisements promising strategic essay help. Don’t waste your time, energy, or money trying to emulate a certain style, topic, or tone. Liz Cheron is chief executive officer for the Coalition for College and former assistant vice president of enrollment & dean of admissions at Northeastern University. She agrees with Nevinger, saying “Don't put pressure on yourself to find the perfect, slam dunk topic. The vast majority of college essays do exactly what they're supposed to do–they are well-written and tell the admission officer more about the student in that student's voice–and that can take many different forms.”

Don’t Over Recycle

Beatrice Atkinson-Myers, associate director of global recruitment at the University of California at Santa Cruz tells students, “Do not use the same response for each university; research and craft your essay to match the program at the university you are interested in studying. Don't waste time telling me things I can read elsewhere in your application. Use your essay to give the admissions officer insights into your motivations, interests, and thinking. Don't make your essay the kitchen sink, focus on one or two examples which demonstrate your depth and creativity.” Her UC colleague, Jim Rawlins, associate vice chancellor of enrollment management at the University of California at San Diego agrees, saying “Answer the question. Not doing so is the surest way we can tell you are simply giving us a snippet of something you actually wrote for a different purpose.”

Don’t Overedit

Emily Roper-Doten, vice president for undergraduate admissions and financial assistance at Clark University warns against “Too many editors!” She says, “Pick a couple of trusted folks to be your sounding board when considering topics and as readers once you have drafts. You don’t want too many voices in your essay to drown you out!” Scripps’ Romero agrees, suggesting, “Ask a good friend, someone you trust and knows you well, to read your essays.” She adds, “The goal is for the admission committee to get to know a little about you and who better to help you create that framework, than a good friend. This may not work for all students because of content but helps them understand it’s important to be themselves.” Whitney Soule, vice provost and dean of admissions at The University of Pennsylvania adds, “Avoid well-meaning editorial interference that might seem to polish your writing but actually takes your own personal ‘shine’ right out of the message.” She says, “As readers, we connect to applicants through their genuine tone and style. Considering editorial advice for flow and message is OK but hold on to the 'you' for what you want to say and how you want to say it.”

Don’t Get Showy

Palmer Muntz, senior regional admissions counselor at the University of Alaska Fairbanks cautions applicants, “Don’t be fancier than you are. You don’t need to put on airs.” He adds, “Yes, proofread your work for grammar and spelling, but be natural. Craft something you’d want to read yourself, which probably means keeping your paragraphs short, using familiar words, and writing in an active voice.” Connecticut College’s Strickler agrees, warning, “Don't try to be someone you are not. If you are not funny, don't try to write a funny essay. If you are not an intellectual, trying to write an intellectual essay is a bad idea.”

Anthony Jones, the vice president of enrollment management at Loyola University New Orleans offers a unique metaphor for thinking about the essay. He says, “In the new world of the hyper-fast college admission process, it's become easy to overlook the essential meaning of the college application. It's meant to reveal Y...O...U, the real you, not some phony digital avatar. Think of the essay as the essence of that voice but in analog. Like the completeness and authenticity captured in a vinyl record, the few lines you're given to explain your view should be a slow walk through unrestrained expression chock full of unapologetic nuances, crevices of emotion, and exactness about how you feel in the moment. Then, and only then, can you give the admissions officer an experience that makes them want to tune in and listen for more.”

Don’t Be A Downer

James Nondorf, vice president and dean of admissions and financial aid at The University of Chicago says, “Don’t be negative about other people, be appreciative of those who have supported you, and be excited about who you are and what you will bring to our campus!” He adds, “While admissions offices want smart students for our classrooms, we also want kind-hearted, caring, and joyous students who will add to our campus communities too.”

Don’t Pattern Match

Alan Ramirez is the dean of admission and financial aid at Sewanee, The University of the South. He explains, “A big concern I have is when students find themselves comparing their writing to other students or past applicants and transform their writing to be more like those individuals as a way to better their chances of offering a more-compelling essay.” He emphasizes that the result is that the “essay is no longer authentic nor the best representation of themselves and the whole point of the essay is lost. Their distinctive voice and viewpoint contribute to the range of voices in the incoming class, enhancing the diversity of perspectives we aim to achieve.” Ramirez simple tells students, “Be yourself, that’s what we want to see, plus there's no one else who can do it better than you!”

Don’t Feel Tied To A Topic

Jessica Ricker is the vice president for enrollment and dean of admissions and financial aid at Skidmore College. She says, “Sometimes students feel they must tell a story of grief or hardship, and then end up reliving that during the essay-writing process in ways that are emotionally detrimental. I encourage students to choose a topic they can reflect upon positively but recommend that if they choose a more challenging experience to write about, they avoid belaboring the details and instead focus on the outcome of that journey.” She adds, "They simply need to name it, frame its impact, and then help us as the reader understand how it has shaped their lens on life and their approach moving forward.”

Landmark College’s Stefanowicz adds, “A lot of students worry about how personal to get in sharing a part of their identity like your race or heritage (recalling last year’s Supreme Court case about race-conscious admissions), a learning difference or other disability, your religious values, LGBTQ identity…the list goes on.” He emphasizes, “This is always your choice, and your essay doesn’t have to be about a defining identity. But I encourage you to be fully yourself as you present yourself to colleges—because the college admission process is about finding a school where your whole self is welcome and you find a setting to flourish!”

Don’t Be Redundant

Hillen Grason Jr., dean of admission at Franklin & Marshall College, advises, “Don't repeat academic or co-curricular information that is easily identifiable within other parts of your application unless the topic is a core tenant of you as an individual.” He adds, “Use your essay, and other parts of your application, wisely. Your essay is the best way to convey who your authentic self is to the schools you apply. If you navigated a situation that led to a dip in your grades or co-curricular involvement, leverage the ‘additional information’ section of the application.

Thomas Marr is a regional manager of admissions for the Americas at The University of St Andrews in Scotland and points out that “Not all international schools use the main college essay as part of their assessment when reviewing student applications.” He says, “At the University of St Andrews, we focus on the supplemental essay and students should avoid the mistake of making the supplemental a repeat of their other essay. The supplemental (called the Personal Statement if using the UCAS application process) is to show the extent of their passion and enthusiasm for the subject/s to which they are applying and we expect about 75% of the content to cover this. They can use the remaining space to mention their interests outside of the classroom. Some students confuse passion for the school with passion for their subject; do not fall into that trap.”

A Few Final Don’ts

Don’t delay. Every college applicant I have ever worked with has wished they had started earlier. You can best avoid the pitfalls above if you give yourself the time and space to write a thoughtful essay and welcome feedback openly but cautiously. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect . Do your best, share your voice, and stay true to who you are.

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How to Start a Conversation and Keep It Flowing

Etiquette experts give tips on talking to absolutely anyone.

Struggling to strike up conversations, whether if they're with a stranger or someone you know? Getting more comfortable just takes practice—and some guidance. To help you become a more self-assured talker, Best Life asked the experts for their conversation tips. Read on to learn  questions to ask , who to direct them toward, and tons of other tricks for how to start a conversation and keep it flowing. Whether you're looking to improve your social skills for personal or professional reasons, these insights will equip you with the tools you need become the most confident conversationalist around.

RELATED: How to Keep a Conversation Going With Confidence .

Why Is Knowing How to Start a Conversation Important?

A great conversation isn't just about gathering information—it's about building a foundation for a partnership, a friendship, or other opportunities. Good conversation skills are also vital for career advancement, fostering workplace harmony and transforming casual chats into meaningful connections with whoever it is you're speaking with. Even the dreaded "small talk" serves its purpose by communicating empathy and a willingness to listen—no matter how dry the conversation may seem.

At the same time, it's important to recognize that not everyone approaches conversation with the same amount of confidence. "Everyone should know that while there are some who are more inclined towards chatting up others, no one is born a skilled conversationalist," says Jodi RR Smith , president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting . "It takes time, and it takes practice."

12 Tips on How to Initiate Conversations

1. prepare some good conversation starters..

Ever been caught in the headlights of a soon-to-take-place social interaction without any idea of what to say? If so, it's probably time to start building up an arsenal of conversation starters .

"Always be prepared to give a self-introduction," says Smith. "Your name only gets you halfway there. You should also include a tidbit of information about yourself. It is this bit of information that will help you start a conversation or help the other person ask you a question."

It also helps to stay cognizant of what's happening in the world around you. "Be well informed," advises Liza Grotts , certified etiquette expert and author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette . "Read at least one daily newspaper and don't forget the sports page."

2. Use open-ended questions.

The benefits of using open-ended questions in conversation are pretty straightforward. Simply put, they encourage people to share more about their thoughts and experiences than close-ended questions do. Plus, they help promote critical and creative thinking, allowing for deeper conversations that explore various perspectives in place of a simple exchange of information.

3. Ask them about their life.

By showing genuine curiosity about someone's passions or background, you not only keep the conversation going but also deepen your connection. Deep talks aren't about peppering your partner with questions to fill silence—you want to peel back the layers to discover the core of who they are, creating a space where they feel seen and heard.

"Asking others about themselves is an essential ingredient to keeping the conversation fresh and ongoing," says Randi Levin , a transitional life strategist and founder of Randi Levin Coaching . "We have all been on the receiving end of chatting with someone who only speaks about themselves. Nothing could be a bigger turn-off."

RELATED: 200+ Get to Know You Questions That Actually Work .

4. Find common ground.

If all else fails, you can always rely strategies such as the FORD method , which stands for "family, occupation, recreation, dreams." Asking questions in these areas can help guide you toward topics that really resonate with you and your conversation partner.

5. Throw in a compliment.

Saying something positive about someone is a great way to lighten the atmosphere and make them feel appreciated. "The best compliments are the ones that are woven into the conversation and that come from an authentic and heartfelt place," Levin reminds us. "They should be less about appearance and surface fluff and more about insights that have been gathered from speaking with one another."

Of course, it's also important to recognize when to scale back. "Sincere compliments are lovely. But being insincere will make others wary of you," Smith cautions.

6. Maintain eye contact.

Eye contact is an agreement between speakers that says, "I'm here with you, in this moment." By maintaining that visual link, you're signaling attentiveness, ensuring that your conversation partner feels acknowledged and appreciated. Striking the right balance—a steady gaze, not a stare—can convey confidence and sincerity, building trust as the conversation flows.

7. Pay attention to body language.

The way we stand, the gestures we make, and even the distance we keep can either complement or contradict what we're saying aloud. "Your body should face the other person, shoulders squared to theirs, open body stance," says Smith. "Make sure your arms are not crossed and that your hands are not hidden in your pockets." Of course, you don't want to get too familiar too fast. Keep an eye on how the other person is receiving your efforts, and be sure to give them plenty of personal space.

RELATED: 60 Positive Words That Start With "E" to Use in Any Conversation .

8. Ask for their opinion.

Asking for someone's opinion indicates that you value their thoughts and perspectives. Not only that, but it also encourages them to share more about themselves. "Connection is about learning. Conversation is the road to that connection, so asking for the opinion of others is a key way to build upon communication and engage in learning something new," says Levin.

Requesting input also opens up new avenues for discussion, making the conversation more dynamic and engaging. Moreover, it can help uncover common interests or differing viewpoints, both of which can lead to deeper and more meaningful exchanges.

9. Crack a joke.

Making jokes creates bonds by establishing a shared sense of humor and lightening the mood. It can also serve as a bridge to more serious topics. Still, it's important to proceed with caution when using humor.

"Humor is great when infused appropriately into a discussion, but not if it is used as a substitute for good communication because one person feels insecure," says Levin. "It is okay to make a joke sparingly that fits the dimensions of the interchange and emphasizes a point, but it should be a one-and-done scenario, not a skit."

10. Wear something worth talking about.

A unique accessory or striking outfit naturally draws attention and curiosity, prompting others to comment on or ask about it. It can also raise a variety of topics, from fashion preferences to personal stories behind the item. "Entering a room or entering a conversation with something interesting that is a visual conversation starter is a fun way to break the ice," says Levin.

Of course, you don't want to overdo it. Make sure what you're wearing is appropriate for the event, and don't spend too much time talking about your wardrobe. It should be utilized as a conversation starter, not the conversation itself.

11. Offer to help with something.

Offering to help shows that you are genuinely interested in someone's needs and are willing to invest some time to assist them. Working together on a common goal can also foster a sense of camaraderie.

"There is no better conversation booster than feeling like we are being heard and appreciated by someone else," says Levin. "Offering to help with an event, or a connection, or with a project indicates that we value the potential relationship that our conversation has begun, and we see value in continuing it."

12. Ask follow-up questions.

By asking for clarification or further details, we show the speaker that we are listening actively while encouraging them to explore their thoughts more fully. It says, "I'm engaged in this conversation, and I want to understand more."

This approach is particularly effective in in-person conversations, where non-verbal cues can further enhance the exchange. Some examples include:

• Can you give me an example of what you mean?
• How did that make you feel?
• What was your thought process behind that decision?
• Can you explain that in more detail?
• What do you think the implications of that are?

13. Keep practicing.

According to the experts, the only way to really improve your conversational skills is to work on them—intentionally and often. "Like any other skill, small talk and conversations should be practiced," Smith insists. "Whether it is the cashier at the local bagel store, the librarian, a fellow commuter, or someone also waiting in line, try having a brief conversation about the weather or current events. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will feel, and the better you will be at small talk."

She reminds us that this advice does not apply in situations where we feel too awkward or afraid. "Manners matter, but safety first. Do not strike up conversations with strangers while alone, at night, or in a potentially dangerous situation," Smith warns.

RELATED: 210 Deep Questions to Ask for a Closer Connection .

Things to Avoid When Starting a Conversation

While there are many strategies to enhance your conversational capacity, it's equally important to be aware of pitfalls that can derail your efforts. Here are some things to avoid when striking up a conversation:

Avoid controversial topics.

In casual conversation, steer clear of discussions about politics, religion, and other sensitive subjects that might provoke strong opinions or discomfort. These topics can quickly turn a friendly chat into a heated debate, making it difficult to maintain a positive environment. Instead, focus on neutral topics.

Don't monopolize the conversation.

"Think of a conversation as a game of catch," Smith suggests. "You throw the ball, hold on to it for a few seconds, then throw it back to the other person. Good conversations involve give and take. If you find that you are not talking at all or that you are doing all the talking, something is off in your game."

While sharing your experiences and stories is important, constantly steering the conversation back to yourself can come off as self-centered. Remember, good conversations are built on mutual effort and genuine curiosity about the other person.

Avoid overly personal questions .

Respect boundaries and avoid diving into deeply personal or intrusive topics, especially in initial interactions. Building rapport takes time, and pushing for certain details too soon can make the other person feel uncomfortable. "This is not a police interrogation," Smith reminds us. "Do not ask anything too specifically personal at first. Do be mindful of power dynamics." For example, a direct report might feel compelled to answer a superior's too-personal question at work, even if they don't want to.

Don't be negative.

Keep the conversation positive and uplifting. Complaining or focusing on negative topics can bring the room down. Instead, try to highlight positive subjects and experiences. This not only keeps the conversation enjoyable for both of you but will also leave the other person with a positive impression of you.

Don't overstay your welcome.

Knowing when to walk away from a conversation is important. "You should talk to someone just long enough to be polite and not let a three-minute conversation turn into 30 minutes," says Grotts. "When you need to exit, try 'Please excuse me,' or 'It was nice talking with you.' No other explanation is necessary." She also suggests keeping in mind the three Bs: "Begin. Be brief. Be gone."

RELATED: 10 Best Public Speaking Hacks That Experts Use .

Common Conversation Roadblocks

Even the most experienced conversationalists experience instances of discomfort or doubt that can hinder the stream of dialogue. But fear not, for these obstacles are not dead ends; they are simply detours that require just a bit of navigational savvy to overcome.

How to handle award silences.

Awkward silences are always unpleasant to encounter—hence the name. They can be difficult to crawl out of, too, but they don't have to derail the entire journey. We can fill these gaps and keep the conversation flowing by using compliments or intriguing questions. Another effective strategy is to share a personal anecdote or a funny story, which can lighten the mood and provide a natural segue into other topics.

RELATED: 15 Best Family Dinner Conversation Topics .

Changing topics gracefully.

Changing topics gracefully is an essential maneuver in the conversation toolkit. It's about sensing when a subject has run its course and finding a new direction that keeps the dialogue going. For instance, if you're wrapping up a discussion about a recent vacation, you might segue into a new topic by asking your conversation partner about future travel plans or favorite destinations. This method also shows that you're genuinely interested in the other person's experiences and preferences

Managing social anxiety.

For many, anxiety acts as an internal alert that something is amiss during social interactions. If you suffer from anxiety in social situations, you can prepare in advance, practice in low-pressure situations, and employ calming techniques like deep breathing or even taking a brief moment for yourself.

How can I overcome my fear of initiating conversations?

To overcome your fear of initiating conversations, prepare some conversation starters, practice them, and show genuine interest in others. This can make starting conversations feel less daunting and more natural.

What are some effective conversation starters?

Start a conversation by making simple observations about your surroundings, cracking a joke, or asking about the other person's interests. These are all great ways to get the ball rolling.

How can I tell if I'm using good body language during a conversation?

You can tell if you're using body language appropriately during a conversation by maintaining open postures, mirroring the other person's gestures, and using appropriate facial expressions that align with your message. These signs indicate that you're engaging positively.

Wrapping Up

As a reminder, great conversationalists are not born. They are made through curiosity, practice, and a genuine interest in the stories of others. Take these tips and incorporate them into your daily interactions. It won't be long until you start noticing major improvements in your ability to connect with others.

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Guest Essay

Surgeon General: Why I’m Calling for a Warning Label on Social Media Platforms

By Vivek H. Murthy

Dr. Murthy is the surgeon general.

One of the most important lessons I learned in medical school was that in an emergency, you don’t have the luxury to wait for perfect information. You assess the available facts, you use your best judgment, and you act quickly.

The mental health crisis among young people is an emergency — and social media has emerged as an important contributor. Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of anxiety and depression symptoms, and the average daily use in this age group, as of the summer of 2023, was 4.8 hours . Additionally, nearly half of adolescents say social media makes them feel worse about their bodies.

It is time to require a surgeon general’s warning label on social media platforms, stating that social media is associated with significant mental health harms for adolescents. A surgeon general’s warning label, which requires congressional action, would regularly remind parents and adolescents that social media has not been proved safe. Evidence from tobacco studies show that warning labels can increase awareness and change behavior. When asked if a warning from the surgeon general would prompt them to limit or monitor their children’s social media use, 76 percent of people in one recent survey of Latino parents said yes.

To be clear, a warning label would not, on its own, make social media safe for young people. The advisory I issued a year ago about social media and young people’s mental health included specific recommendations for policymakers, platforms and the public to make social media safer for kids. Such measures, which already have strong bipartisan support, remain the priority.

Legislation from Congress should shield young people from online harassment, abuse and exploitation and from exposure to extreme violence and sexual content that too often appears in algorithm-driven feeds. The measures should prevent platforms from collecting sensitive data from children and should restrict the use of features like push notifications, autoplay and infinite scroll, which prey on developing brains and contribute to excessive use.

Additionally, companies must be required to share all of their data on health effects with independent scientists and the public — currently they do not — and allow independent safety audits. While the platforms claim they are making their products safer, Americans need more than words. We need proof.

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