why is nonverbal communication important in the workplace essay

Importance of Non-Verbal Communication Essay Example

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

Significance of Nonverbal Communication

Features of nonverbal communication, forms of nonverbal communication, samples of nonverbal communication, nonverbal communication concept, nonverbal communication at the workplace, reference list.

Wondering how to write an essay about the importance of non-verbal communication and how it affects workplace relationships? We’ve got your back covered! Check the non-verbal communication essay example below and get some fresh ideas for your writing.

In communication, a reasonable percentage of understanding is derived from non-verbal communication. This kind of communication works always. However, it is not always the case that one speaks before people can derive the thoughts of that person. A lot of these thoughts can simply be derived from gestures, signals, or expressions.

This kind of communication can be very effective if one sends the appropriate signals aimed at the right target (Abramovitch 1977, p. 82). This form of communication can easily be misunderstood if the wrong signals are sent to the recipients. Hands are significant in conveying non-verbal communication as they are used for gesturing. The facial expression and body language also play a big role in this form of communication.

It is possible to know someone’s private feelings simply by looking at that person’s facial expression. For instance if a colleague is not in a good mood, one will simply need to look for the nonverbal communication that that person portrays. For communication to be effective, attention has to be given to that which is communicated non-verbally, good examples being the use of space, gestures and body language.

Non verbal communication may differ according to different cultures and this may be the main cause of misinterpretation. There are cultures that take the nodding of the head vertically as an agreement while others take it as a refusal. There are those who would perceive a minors direct look into the eye as honest while others while perceive it as disrespect.

For one to mask feelings or spontaneous reaction to information, the attention must be paid to the nonverbal behavior. It might be easy for one to control his/her voice or words yet still that person’s body language, facial expression as well as movement can expose his/her real thoughts and feelings.

No matter the position that one holds at the place of work, the ability to interpret non-verbal communication adds to the ability of that individual to share meaning with others. This is because the shared meaning is what constitutes communication (Abramovitch 1977, p. 87).

To understand nonverbal communication, one needs to recognize that different people communicate on different levels. Every gesture usually communicates something and all that is needed is to pay close attention to it. If the verbal and non-verbal communication is not in harmony, it is more likely that the communicator will be lying or is of a different idea from that being communicated. It might therefore be reasonable for the listener not to pay attention to that person’s non-verbal communication.

Non verbal communication might play a significant role during a job interview as the interviewer will be able to deduce the kind of person the candidate is, as well as his/her strengths and weaknesses. During a criminal investigation, the non-verbal signals that are relayed by the person under investigation may be even of greater importance that the verbal statements that that person gives.

It might be easier for the investigators to determine if the person being investigated is lying, is hiding some information or if the person is speaking the truth. This will only be possible if the investigator understands and rightly interprets the non-verbal signals.

When one is issuing a speech the nonverbal communication relayed by the audience might of great importance in helping the speaker know if the audience is paying attention, if the people are bored, exhausted, irritated or when it is time for another speaker to take charge. Listening to them is very important if the speaker needs to be effective. If the nonverbal communication is effectively used while delivering a message for instance through speech, that message will be effective and memorable (Abramovitch 1977, p. 90).

Non-verbal communication is complicated and it may be challenging to understand its signals. This type of communication involves the whole body, the space occupied, the time taken, what is left out and how it is left out. Non-verbal communication flows from one to another and this makes it difficult single out one element and interpret it correctly from the series of other elements. This type of communication is constantly in motion just as human beings are and it does not replicate itself in the same place.

This kind of communication unlike the spoken or written communication is irreversible. For the written communication, the communicator might be in a position to clarify, correct or retract the message that is conveyed. For the oral communication, one is able to give an explanation or restate with the intention of clarifying the point. It is therefore possible to correct oral communication, as much as the original message remains with its impact as well.

It is not possible to separate a single non-verbal action from its context correct it and take it back. In speech, this kind of communication is always occurring and it becomes difficult to tell when a single non verbal message starts or stops and to exactly determine when the next one starts. The communication is only relevant in its context and if it is singled out then it might easily be misinterpreted and misunderstood hence leading to a wrong conclusion being drawn.

One usually expresses himself or herself first through the nonverbal communication always without even consciously thinking about it. This communication portrays ones feelings and thoughts way before the person becomes aware of it.

This kind of communication usually brings out the intentional as well as unintentional messages. It is common for people to concentrate on how someone says something than what that message is really. It is surprising that human beings use more non-verbal communication than the verbal one and in some cases this type of communication may add up or even replace the verbal one (Bull 1987).

Illustrators which are nonverbal gestures are used to communicate the message in an effective way as well as reinforcing the points. This could for instance be a node which confirms acceptance. The response to this may be in the form of an emblem, which may be by using the O.K. sign to signal.

Regulators which are nonverbal messages may also be used for controlling, maintaining or discouraging interaction. One the speaker is irritating the listener could for instance hold up his/her hand and the speaker will interpret it as a request to stop (Benjamin & Craidler 1975, p. 27).Regulators may also be used by the audience listening to a speech. They may for instance look away, make drawings at the book margins or tap their feet, and all these regulators will be representing boredom or disinterest (Kelly 1982).

Adaptors can also be used in the non-verbal communication and they help one to adapt to the environment hence ensuring that the communicator is secure and comfortable. A good example would be the hairstyle or a behavior that is self adaptive. One may also use object-adaptors to convey a message of disinterest for instance.

They may use an object for a different purpose to show disinterest. A good example may be when the audience starts chewing the backside of their pens to signify disinterest. All in all, non-verbal communications are universal. They be used differently by different people in different places or they may take a different form but they will remain to be non-verbal communications.

Nonverbal communication forms a basis for communicating emotional massages as people rarely express their emotions through the spoken word. Most of the time people express their emotions none verbally. This is contributed to by the fact that some emotions might not be expressed well or fully in the verbal form. It is very easier to deduce deception for a speaker by keenly observing the person’s non-verbal communication.

Such a person may for instance avoid eye contact, awkwardly pause during the conversation, and delay while responding to questions, changing body movement and posture frequently. They person might also smile less and reduce the rate of his/her speech. When such behaviors are noticed in the speaker, the listener(s) may be required to be a bit keener. People’s speech patterns speak a lot concerning the truthfulness in the messages being conveyed.

This type of communication is very significant in the relationship that exists between the speaker and the audience. When people meet for the first time, the first conclusions that are made about the different parties are usually derived from the non-verbal messages that are displayed (Scheflen 1964).

This is usually based on the dressing code, the physical characteristics and the posture. Nonverbal communication therefore affects the first impression made, for better or for worse. Assumed expectation is usually derived from the speaker’s maintenance of personal space, the dressing code as well as the physical characteristics right from the time the speaker meets the audience. As much as these expectations may neither be fair nor accurate, they always exist.

Controlling the verbal and nonverbal communication is important in forming a good rapport with the audience (Ekman & Friesen 1969). Maintaining eye contact with them, using space appropriately and being formal enhances this kind of relationship. Nonverbal communication is usually perceived to be part of the message and it has the capability to contribute to or lead to detraction from the overall goal.

It is believed that whatever is not said is just as significant as what is said. Words just form a section of communication. From a facial expression, it is possible to determine whether someone is happy, surprised, fearful, angered, disgusted, interested or sad. Interpreting nonverbal communication needs no special communication.

It may however require extensive training for one to be self aware of portraying nonverbal communication to others. Agreement between the two forms of communication enhances the establishment of a common understanding. A genuine and positive smile could indicate an agreement with an idea or a person.

The attire that is worn also plays a significant role in bringing out a nonverbal message. What someone puts on is what people call a ‘fashion statement.

A formal dressing code could be adapted while speaking in an official meeting. On the contrary, a casual code could be adapted if the message is targeted to people within an informal setting. Eyes have always been perceived to be windows to the soul. Maintaining an eye contact could be a show of interest or attraction, while disgust is indicated by an upward nose wrinkle and raising of the upper lip.

The element of time keeping also falls under nonverbal communication. When a speaker arrives at a meeting on time, and sticks to the stipulated time, it speaks a lot about that person.

It implies seriousness and commitment on the speaker’s side. It also says a lot about the gravity of the topic under discussion (Scheflen 1964). Culture plays a very significant role in any communication. In the case of nonverbal communication, culture determines what is and what is not allowed. Some cultures give room for lateness while others do not (Argyle & Kendon 1967).

Nonverbal communication just like the verbal one is a section of a society’s backbone. This kind of communication is necessary for helping people to coexist and build their own culture. For any communication study to be effective, one needs to grasp the basic concepts of not only the verbal but the nonverbal communication as well.

Most of the time, these two forms of communication occur together. The non verbal communication is usually composed of three major components which include; the one creating the communication, the communication itself and the recipient (Darwin 1872). There has always been a misconception that sign language falls under the nonverbal communication. This is however not the case as sign language is categorized under the visual language-based communication.

There needs to be a complementary relationship between the verbal and the verbal forms of communication. If not, then the result is confusion, disappointment and mistrust. Whatever is said must be complemented by the actions (Benjamin & Creider 1975).

Nonverbal communication is significant in the clarification and making the verbal communication to be well understood. Facial and hand gestures are used to illustrate whatever is communicated. It offers the cues that assist in ensuring that the message is understood.

This type of communication is important as it portrays one’s perceptions, beliefs and the person’s world view. They expose whatever is in a person. If one pulls back when a hug is offered it may signify that the person has an aversion to the physical touch which could be attributed to his/her past experiences (Argyle & Kendon 1967).

The non verbal communication plays a big role in affirming a message. For instance, verbal communication demonstrating how to use online purchasing tools could be affirmed by the speaker taking a computer and demonstrating the same to the audience. It helps in reinforcing the message.

At the workplace, violating ones personal space is a nonverbal communication that might be offensive. Slumping in a chair could be a sign of fatigue or an indication that the person is sad. Boredom at a meeting could be expressed through yawning while anger could be expressed by folding the hands.

Such clues can be used while encouraging someone positively respond when asked to do something. While at the workplace, it is possible to know the feelings of workers just by observing their body languages or facial expressions. This is significant I determining whether the workers are displeased or please either by the working conditions or the rules and regulations that are in place at the workplace.

Abramovitch, R., 1977. Children’s recognition of situational aspects of facial expression’, Child Development, Vol. 48. No. 4, pp. 77-98.

Argyle, M., & Kendon, A., 1967, The experimental analysis of social performance. in L. Berkowitz (ed.). Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Benjamin, G.R., & Creider, C. A., 1975. Social distinctions in non-verbal behavior.

Semiotica, Vol.14, No. 3, pp. 22-46

Bull, P.E., 1987, Posture and Gesture. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Darwin, C., 1872, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. London: Macmillan Publishers.

Ekman P., & Friesen, W., 1969. The repertoire of nonverbal behavior. Semiotica, Vol. 1, No. 5, pp. 66-80.

Kelly, J. A., 1982, Social Skills Training: A Practical Guide for Interventions. London: Macmillan Publisher London.

Scheflen, A. E., 1964. The significance of posture in communication systems. Psychiatry Vol.27, No. 2, pp. 200-205

• Social Effects of Telecommuting
• Privacy and Technology: Avoiding Exploitation
• The Meaning of Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication
• Importance of Nonverbal Communication to Children's Growth
• Posture as a Non-Verbal Communication Element
• Interpersonal Relationships
• The Impact of Effective Communication Strategies on Interpersonal Relationships at a Workplace
• International Management: Cultural Profiling of USA and India
• How Communication Supports the Soncept of Community
• Mobile Phone Communication and Development of Intimacy
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2019, February 20). Importance of Non-Verbal Communication. https://ivypanda.com/essays/non-verbal-communication/

"Importance of Non-Verbal Communication." IvyPanda , 20 Feb. 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/non-verbal-communication/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Importance of Non-Verbal Communication'. 20 February.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Importance of Non-Verbal Communication." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/non-verbal-communication/.

1. IvyPanda . "Importance of Non-Verbal Communication." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/non-verbal-communication/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Importance of Non-Verbal Communication." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/non-verbal-communication/.

Nonverbal Communication Skills: 19 Theories & Findings

In it, he introduces the concept of dramaturgy, which compares everyday social interactions to actors’ portrayals of characters, suggesting that one’s social interactions are analogous to a string of varying performances (Ritzer, 2021).

Goffman’s work also included the concept of impression management. The key to impression management includes appearance; your manner of interacting; and the attitudes conveyed through gestures, facial expressions, and nonverbal skills (Ritzer, 2021).

William Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage.”

I’m not a trained actor, but teaching public speaking courses has made me aware that audiences seem to prefer speakers who use a variety of hand gestures. These gestures signify the speaker as “warm, agreeable, and energetic” (Goman, 2021).

Just that nugget of information has taught me to incorporate hand gestures to develop my public speaking skills.

What other nonverbal communication skills enhance daily interactions?

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based tools will help you and those you work with build better social skills and better connect with others.

This Article Contains:

What is nonverbal communication, 9 types of nonverbal communication skills, is nonverbal communication important, 2 psychology theories and models, 8 fascinating research findings, importance in counseling and healthcare, resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message.

Nonverbal communication is a way to convey information “achieved through facial expressions, gestures, touching (haptics), physical movements (kinesics), posture, body adornment (clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos, etc.), and even the tone, timbre, and volume of an individual’s voice (rather than spoken content)” (Navarro & Karlins, 2008, p. 2–4).

In this YouTube video, Joe Navarro explains several nonverbal communication cues, exposes some myths, and discusses his work with nonverbal communication in law enforcement.

Marco Iacoboni (2008, p. 81), author of Mirroring People , takes it a step further, stating that “gestures accompanying speech have a dual role of helping the speakers to express their thoughts and helping the listeners/viewers understand what is being said.”

To competently read body language, Navarro and Karlins (2008) provide suggestions such as rigorous observation and a familiarity with the person’s baseline behaviors. They also recommend watching for changes, or ‘tells.’

Navarro and Karlins (2008) advise becoming familiar with universal behaviors and contextualizing nonverbal cues. However, cultural norms could inhibit rigorous observation.

Characteristics of nonverbal communication

The United States is considered a low-context communication culture (MacLachlan, 2010). This means that much of the information in a message comes directly from words rather than through implication or body language.

This style of communication involves lots of verbal detail so as not to confuse listeners. Low-context cultures rely less on nonverbal communication, which can obscure or censor portions of the message.

Nonverbal communication is culturally determined, and it is largely unconscious. It indicates the speaker’s emotional state. When nonverbal cues conflict with the verbal message, it may convey confusion or deception (Navarro & Karlins, 2008).

Finally, nonverbal communication varies by gender and displays power differentials, information effective leaders can use to influence others (Hybels & Weaver, 2015; Henley, 1977).

Nonverbal communication of successful leaders

It’s essential for leaders to read body language, also known as decoding. Deciphering between engagement (e.g., nodding, tilting the head, open body postures) and disengagement (e.g., body tilting away, crossed arms and legs) can be the difference between success and failure (Goman, 2021).

Successful actors could be considered professional first-impression artists. Like actors, leaders often find themselves center stage; they must learn the art of creating first impressions.

Subjective awareness and the ability to express yourself nonverbally are known as encoding – crucial for positive first impressions. Advice from professional actors includes a maintaining a pleasant facial expression, good posture, pausing, breathing, relaxing, and avoiding hiding your hands (Shellenbarger, 2018).

This video , 8 Things Successful People Do to Look Confident , provides quick tips for confident body language even if you’re not feeling confident.

First impressions are said to be formed in less than seven seconds (Goman, 2021). In this short time, others formulate labels such as “powerful,” “submissive,” or “trustworthy.” Evolved leaders incorporate mindfulness to help.

Naz Beheshti (2018) states, “Evolved leaders… use nonverbal tools mindfully and deliberately to reinforce their message.” She goes on to say, “this lifts the value of your communication and your value as a leader” (Beheshti, 2018).

Awareness of self, others, and the situation (mindfulness) allows us to ensure that our gestures and body language align with our spoken words. This creates congruence and generates trustworthiness (Beheshti, 2018; Newberg & Waldman, 2013).

This means we are analyzing several, simultaneous nonverbal cues. A frustrated person may tap their foot, cross their arms, and tightly squeeze their biceps (Jones, 2013). These clusters may cross over and include a variety of nonverbal categories, summarized below.

1. Kinesics

Kinesics is the study of how we move our body, specifically the head, hands, body, and arms (Jones, 2013). This includes sending messages through facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and posture.

Haptics is the study of touch or coming into physical contact with another person (Hybels & Weaver, 2015). Throughout history, touch has been surrounded by mystery and taboo. We are perplexed by healing touch and riveted by stories of infants who perished due to lack of touch. Touch can denote relationship, status, power, and personality (Henley, 1977).

Cultural norms dictate guidelines regarding touch. Mindfulness regarding social and environmental settings is prudent. We greet a friend at an informal party differently than we would greet a boss or coworker in a professional setting.

3. Proxemics

The study of space and distance is called proxemics, and it analyzes how people use the space around them (Hybels & Weaver, 2015).

This YouTube video is a fun demonstration of students completing a school project on personal space and the discomfort felt by both humans and animals when social norms are violated.

4. Territory

Territory is often used to display power or reveal a lack thereof.

“'[P]osture expansiveness,’ positioning oneself in a way that opens up the body and takes up space, activated a sense of power that produced behavioral changes in a subject independent of their actual rank or role in an organization” (Goman, 2021).

Expansiveness conveys power.

5. Environment

Environment includes objects we use to adorn ourselves and the artifacts we surround ourselves with in order to create an impression. These objects provide nonverbal cues that help others form impressions (Jones, 2013).

6. Paralinguistics

Paralinguistics, also known as vocalics, is the study of how we speak and involves pitch, volume, rate of speech, tone, quality, tempo, resonance, rhythm, and articulation to help determine the context of the message (Jones, 2013).

7. Chronemics

Chronemics is the study of time, including how it is used. Nancy Henley (1977, p. 43), author of Body Politics: Power, Sex & Nonverbal Communication , asserts “Time is far from a neutral philosophical/physical concept in our society: it is a political weapon.”

Henley (1977, p. 47) describes the concept of “ritual waiting,” stating, “The more important the person, the longer we will ungrudgingly wait for the service or honor of attention.”

8. Attractiveness

The power of drawing attention to oneself doesn’t rely on physical appeal alone. Although facial symmetry and fashion of adornment are important (Jones, 2013), people who master good eye contact, have a lively face, offer encouragement, and use open gestures are also considered attractive (Kuhnke, 2012).

9. Olfactics

Download 3 Communication Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to improve communication skills and enjoy more positive social interactions with others.

Download 3 Free Communication Tools Pack (PDF)

By filling out your name and email address below.

• Email Address *
• Your Expertise * Your expertise Therapy Coaching Education Counseling Business Healthcare Other
• Comments This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Nonverbal communication is very important, as you could reveal unintentional information, as well as cause your communication to be misinterpreted.

Leakage: Unintentional messages

Teaching social–emotional skills to incarcerated people provided me with a powerful lesson about the nuances of nonverbal communication. On a particularly challenging day, I thought it wise to meditate and center myself prior to entering the jail. However, upon seeing me, the people inside began inquiring what was going on with me. What did they detect?

Nonverbal leakage can be shown through micro-expressions, which are “very fast facial movements lasting 1/25 to 1/5 of a second” and indicate a person’s real feelings (Ekman, 2003, p. 214).

This YouTube video is the opening scene of the series Lie to Me , based on the work of Paul Ekman regarding micro-expressions.

Varying statistics on the value of nonverbal communication may cause concern for those less practiced, but which statistics are accurate?

Crossed messages

The original research from Mehrabian and Ferris (1967) regarding nonverbal communication is widely interpreted. Elizabeth Kuhnke (2012, p. 10), author of Body Language for Dummies , interprets the study, saying, “55% of the emotional message in face-to-face communication results from body language.”

A nonverbal communication formula often cited is 7–38–55, which indicates 7% of the message comes from words, 38% vocal, and 55% facial. However, Lapakko (2007) believes this formula is reckless, faulty, and misleading. Sometimes the nonverbal elements of a message, such as gestures with directions, are incredibly important, and at other times incidental.

In addition, what something “means” in communication is connected to such variables as culture, history of the relationship, people’s intentions, personal experiences, time of day and specific words used. It would be naive to suggest all these nuances could be neatly quantified, and therefore attributing a precise formula to nonverbal communication is flawed in many ways.

So regardless of statistics and formulas, we know that nonverbal communication is essential and that people skilled at both reading and interpreting body language tend to enjoy greater success in life than those not skilled (Goleman, 1997).

Basic emotion theory

Basic emotion theory (BET) posits that emotions are a “grammar of social living” that situate us in the social and moral order of society (Keltner, Sauter, Tracy, & Cowen, 2019, p. 133). In addition, emotions structure interactions, particularly in relationships that matter. BET is integral to emotional expression.

Foundational to BET is the assumption that emotional expressions coordinate social interactions in three ways:

• Through rapid conveyance of important information to aid in decision making
• To evoke specific responses
• To serve as incentives for others’ actions

This is accomplished through reward systems such as parents smiling and caressing a child who exhibits specific behaviors (Keltner et al., 2019).

BET initially focused on six basic emotions. Literature reveals there are over 20 emotions with distinct, multimodal expressions, providing a deeper structure and highlighting the advancing nature of emotional expression (Keltner et al., 2019).

Neural resonance

Two people who like each other will mirror each other’s facial expressions, gestures, postures, vocalics, and movements. This is known as neural resonance, and it aids the accurate transfer of information from one person to another (Newberg & Waldman, 2013).

To fully understand what another is saying, “you have to listen to and observe the other person as deeply and fully as possible” (Newberg & Waldman, 2013, p. 81). Neural resonance uses mirror neurons to create cooperation, empathy, and trust.

World’s Largest Positive Psychology Resource

The Positive Psychology Toolkit© is a groundbreaking practitioner resource containing over 500 science-based exercises , activities, interventions, questionnaires, and assessments created by experts using the latest positive psychology research.

Updated monthly. 100% Science-based.

“The best positive psychology resource out there!” — Emiliya Zhivotovskaya , Flourishing Center CEO

Studying nonverbal communication is revealing and intriguing. Most experts will include aspects such as eyes, facial expressions, and hands, but digging deeper reveals less-acknowledged nonverbal nuggets.

1. The benefits of yawning

Yawning is one of the fastest and simplest ways to lower mental stress and anxiety (Waldman & Manning, 2017). Social norms dictate that we refrain from yawning in specific settings, but yawning has many benefits. Did you know that snipers are taught to yawn before pulling the trigger (Waldman & Manning, 2017)?

According to Waldman and Manning (2017), yawning stimulates alertness and concentration; optimizes brain activity and metabolism; improves cognitive functioning; increases recall, consciousness, and introspection; decreases stress and relaxes the upper body; recalibrates a sense of timing; enhances social awareness and empathy; and increases sensuality and pleasure.

2. Feet don’t lie

According to Navarro and Karlins (2008), the most honest part of our body is our feet, as demonstrated by small children who dance with happiness or stomp in frustration. Many people look to the face for truth; Navarro and Karlins take the opposite approach:

“When it comes to honesty, truthfulness decreases as we move from the feet to the head” (Navarro & Karlins, 2008, p. 56), reasoning that emotions are suppressed through fabricated facial expression.

3. Gestures that help

Gestures improve memory and comprehension skills. Gestures may convey information that can influence how listeners respond, depending on the hand being used. “We tend to express positive ideas with our dominant hand and negative ideas with the other hand” (Newberg & Waldman, 2013, p. 44).

4. The eyes have it

“Social network circuits are stimulated through face-to-face eye contact, decreasing cortisol, and increasing oxytocin. The result is increased empathy, social cooperation, and positive communication” (Newberg & Waldman, 2013, p. 135).

Eyes reveal a lot about us. When we are aroused, troubled, concerned, or nervous, our blink rate increases. Once we relax, our blink rate returns to normal (Navarro & Karlins, 2008).

5. Power posing for success

Body language affects how others see us and how we view ourselves. In this YouTube video, Amy Cuddy discusses her research on power posing and how it affects success.

Amy Cuddy’s book is also discussed in our article listing books on imposter syndrome .

6. Fingers crossed

One explanation of the origin of crossing fingers for good luck comes from early beliefs in the power of the cross. The intersection of the digits, epitomizing the cross, was thought to denote a concentration of good spirits and served to anchor a wish until it came true (Keyser, 2014).

7. Fake positivity is harmful

Positivity that doesn’t register in your body or heart can be harmful. According to Barbara Fredrickson (2009, p. 180), “fake smiles, just like sneers of anger, predict heart wall collapse.” To truly benefit from a smile, touch, or embrace, you need to slow down and make it heartfelt.

8. Stand up straight

Poor posture can reduce oxygen intake by 30%, resulting in less energy (Gordon, 2003). Stooping over can make us look and feel old and out of touch. By straightening up, we can make significant differences in how we think and feel. The effect is bi-directional; attitude influences posture, just as posture influences attitude.

Good rapport between clients and practitioners stems from mirroring and synchronicity associated with neural resonance (Finset & Piccolo, 2011; Newberg & Waldman, 2013).

Carl Rogers’s Client-Centered Therapy is based on an empathetic understanding of clients. Nonverbal communication provides valuable information for both the client and the therapist. Showing you like and accept a client may be the most important information a therapist can convey (Finset & Piccolo, 2011).

Nonverbal patterns in therapy evolve over time. Specific behaviors that further the therapeutic process include “a moderate amount of head nodding and smiling; frequent, but not staring, eye contact; active, but not extreme, facial responsiveness; and a warm, relaxed, interested vocal tone” (Finset & Piccolo, 2011, p. 122).

Conscious awareness of nonverbal cues can aid in rapport building. Leaning toward the other signals comfort, whereas leaning away or crossing your arms signals discomfort (Navarro & Karlins, 2008).

Torsos and shoulder blades seem innocuous; however, blading away (turning slightly) from another person shows discomfort, while blading toward or facing another squarely shows a level of comfort (Navarro & Karlins, 2008).

Open palms are an ancient sign of trustworthiness that help establish rapport and are considered nonthreatening (Kuhnke, 2012). Hidden hands (placed in pockets or behind backs) signal disconnection and reluctance to engage. To display respect, keep an open posture with your muscles relaxed and weight evenly distributed.

Mirroring and matching go a long way to show synchronicity. Be careful to avoid mimicry, which signals disrespect (Kuhnke, 2012). Too much of a good thing can jeopardize credibility. An extended, fixed gaze into another’s eyes or effortful smiling can seem awkward, or worse.

This short YouTube video explains the dynamics of fluctuating facial expressions, based on the work of Charles Darwin and Paul Ekman.

This Silent Connections worksheet is an exercise for groups that combines mindfulness and nonverbal communication to build connections.

Someone who lacks the ability to make eye contact during conversation can be easily misinterpreted. To overcome this nonverbal communication issue, our Strategies for Maintaining Eye Contact can be very useful.

Our blog post 49 Communication Activities, Exercises, and Games includes six nonverbal communication activities for adults and three nonverbal exercises that work for families and children.

The blog post What Is Assertive Communication? 10 Real-Life Examples includes nonverbal qualities that complement and enhance assertive statements. Hints for eye contact, facial expressions, and posture can be found throughout.

In the blog post Cultivating Social Intelligence : 3 Ways to Understand Others , we discuss characteristics of social intelligence, including body language.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others communicate better, this collection contains 17 validated positive communication tools for practitioners. Use them to help others improve their communication skills and form deeper and more positive relationships.

17 Exercises To Develop Positive Communication

17 Positive Communication Exercises [PDFs] to help others develop communication skills for successful social interactions and positive, fulfilling relationships.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Nonverbal communication is an essential communication skill. Nonverbal expertise aids in delivering clear messages and forming positive impressions. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture to make a difference. Gently stroking the hand of a grieving friend speaks volumes.

Viewing life as a series of dramatic performances, as implied by both Shakespeare and Goffman, can add a sense of intrigue and adventure to enhancing nonverbal communication. These essential skills will help us achieve goals.

Just as the highly motivated thespian will study and polish their craft, anyone wanting to succeed in their career or interpersonal relationships can study and practice the nuances of nonverbal communication.

Actors and public speakers often practice their craft in front of a mirror or videotape themselves to reflect on strengths and weaknesses.

This article includes a myriad of resources to help improve nonverbal communication skills with many additional resources available.

By starting with something as simple as posture, we exit stage right, headed toward the competency of center stage. Break a leg!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free .

• Beheshti, N. (2018, September 20). The power of mindful nonverbal communication. Forbes . Retrieved April 26, 2021, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/nazbeheshti/2018/09/20/beyond-language-the-power-of-mindful-nonverbal-communication/?sh=6f40b3d71501
• Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions revealed: Recognizing faces and feelings to improve communication and emotional life . Holt Paperbacks.
• Finset, A., & Piccolo, L. D. (2011). Nonverbal communication in clinical contexts. In M. Rimondini (Ed.), Communication in cognitive-behavioral therapy (pp. 107–128).  Springer Science + Business Media.
• Fredrickson, B. L. (2009). Positivity . Crown Publishing Group.
• Goffman, E. (1956). The presentation of self in everyday life . University of Edinburgh.
• Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence . Bantam Trade Paperback.
• Goman, C. K. (2018, August 26). 5 Ways body language impacts leadership results. Forbes. Retrieved May 1, 2021, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2018/08/26/5-ways-body-language-impacts-leadership-results/?sh=5c1b235c536a
• Gordon, J. (2003). Energy addict: 101 Physical, mental, & spiritual ways to energize your life . Berkley Publishing Group.
• Henley, N. M. (1977). Body politics: Power, sex and nonverbal communication . Simon & Schuster.
• Hybels, S., & Weaver, R. L. (2015). Communicating effectively . McGraw-Hill Education.
• Iacoboni, M. (2008). Mirroring people: The new science of how we connect with others . Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
• Jones, R. (2013). Communication in the real world: An introduction to communication studies . University of Minnesota Libraries.
• Keltner, D., Sauter, D., Tracy, J., & Cowen, A. (2019). Emotional expression: Advances in basic emotion theory. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior , 43 (3), 133–160.
• Keyser, H. (2014, March 21). Why do we cross our fingers for good luck? Mental Floss . Retrieved May 27, 2021, from https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/55702/why-do-we-cross-our-fingers-good-luck
• Kuhnke, E. (2012). Body language for dummies . John Wiley & Sons.
• Lapakko, D. (2007). Communication is 93% nonverbal: An urban legend proliferates. Communication and Theater Association of Minnesota Journal , 34 (2), 7–19.
• MacLachlan, M. (2010, February 12). Cross-cultural communication styles: High and low context. Communicaid. Retrieved May 10, 2021, from https://www.communicaid.com/cross-cultural-training/blog/high-and-low-context/
• Mehrabian, A., & Ferris, S. R. (1967). Inference of attitudes from nonverbal communication in two channels.  Journal of Consulting Psychology, 31 (3), 248–252.
• Navarro, J., & Karlins, M. P. (2008). What every body is saying . Harper-Collins.
• Newberg, A. M., & Waldman, M. R. (2013). Words can change your brain . Avery.
• Ritzer, G. (2021). Essentials of sociology (4th ed.). SAGE.
• Shellenbarger, S. (2018, January 30). The mistakes you make in a meeting’s first milliseconds. Wall Street Journal . Retrieved May 22, 2021, from https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-mistakes-you-make-in-a-meetings-first-milliseconds-1517322312
• Waldman, M. R., & Manning, C. P. (2017). NeuroWisdom: The new brain science of money, happiness, and success . Diversion Books.

Share this article:

Article feedback

What our readers think.

I came upon this site by chance. I like to learn new things and even encourage others with things that I learn. This is very insightful and I am excited to learn more and practice, as well as share with others!

Let us know your thoughts Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Related articles

Analyzing & Interpreting Your Clients’ Body Language: 26 Tips

Darwin was one of the first individuals to explore the concept of body language in Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. He studied [...]

How to Say No & Master the Art of Personal Freedom

In a world that often values compliance over authenticity, the notion of personal freedom becomes not just a luxury but a necessity for our wellbeing [...]

Conflict Resolution Training: 18 Best Courses and Master’s Degrees

All humans have some things in common. We all need air to breathe and water to stay alive. We are all social beings, and if [...]

Read other articles by their category

• Body & Brain (52)
• Coaching & Application (39)
• Compassion (23)
• Counseling (40)
• Emotional Intelligence (21)
• Gratitude (18)
• Grief & Bereavement (18)
• Happiness & SWB (40)
• Meaning & Values (26)
• Meditation (16)
• Mindfulness (40)
• Motivation & Goals (41)
• Optimism & Mindset (29)
• Positive CBT (28)
• Positive Communication (23)
• Positive Education (36)
• Positive Emotions (32)
• Positive Leadership (16)
• Positive Parenting (14)
• Positive Psychology (21)
• Positive Workplace (35)
• Productivity (16)
• Relationships (46)
• Resilience & Coping (38)
• Self Awareness (20)
• Self Esteem (37)
• Strengths & Virtues (29)
• Stress & Burnout Prevention (33)
• Theory & Books (42)
• Therapy Exercises (37)
• Types of Therapy (54)

• Name This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About Stanford GSB

• The Leadership
• Dean’s Updates
• School News & History
• Commencement
• Business, Government & Society
• Centers & Institutes
• Center for Entrepreneurial Studies
• Center for Social Innovation
• Stanford Seed

About the Experience

• Learning at Stanford GSB
• Experiential Learning
• Guest Speakers
• Entrepreneurship
• Social Innovation
• Communication
• Life at Stanford GSB
• Collaborative Environment
• Activities & Organizations
• Student Services
• Housing Options
• International Students

Full-Time Degree Programs

• Why Stanford MBA
• Academic Experience
• Financial Aid
• Why Stanford MSx
• Research Fellows Program
• See All Programs

Non-Degree & Certificate Programs

• Executive Education
• Stanford Executive Program
• Programs for Organizations
• The Difference
• Online Programs
• Stanford LEAD
• Seed Transformation Program
• Aspire Program
• Seed Spark Program
• Faculty Profiles
• Academic Areas
• Awards & Honors
• Conferences

Faculty Research

• Publications
• Working Papers
• Case Studies

Research Hub

• Research Labs & Initiatives
• Business Library
• Data, Analytics & Research Computing
• Behavioral Lab

Research Labs

• Cities, Housing & Society Lab
• Golub Capital Social Impact Lab

Research Initiatives

• Corporate Governance Research Initiative
• Corporations and Society Initiative
• Policy and Innovation Initiative
• Rapid Decarbonization Initiative
• Stanford Latino Entrepreneurship Initiative
• Value Chain Innovation Initiative
• Venture Capital Initiative
• Career & Success
• Climate & Sustainability
• Corporate Governance
• Culture & Society
• Finance & Investing
• Government & Politics
• Leadership & Management
• Markets and Trade
• Operations & Logistics
• Opportunity & Access
• Technology & AI
• Opinion & Analysis
• Email Newsletter

Welcome, Alumni

• Communities
• Digital Communities & Tools
• Regional Chapters
• Women’s Programs
• Identity Chapters
• Find Your Reunion
• Career Resources
• Job Search Resources
• Career & Life Transitions
• Programs & Webinars
• Career Video Library
• Alumni Education
• Research Resources
• Volunteering
• Alumni News
• Class Notes
• Alumni Voices
• Contact Alumni Relations
• Upcoming Events

Admission Events & Information Sessions

• MBA Program
• MSx Program
• PhD Program
• Alumni Events
• All Other Events

When Words Aren’t Enough: How to Excel at Nonverbal Communication

In this episode, Dana Carney shares the five nonverbal rules of power.

April 09, 2024

If communication is like painting, words are the primary colors. But to convey deeper meaning, we need a broader color palette, which Dana Carney says requires the mastery of nonverbal communication.

We often focus on the words that we say when honing our communication, but according to Carney , there are many instances “where nonverbals start to be more meaningful than verbals.” A professor at Berkeley’s Haas School of Business and the George Quist Chair in Business Ethics, Carney researches the nonverbal ways in which we communicate our biases, our preferences, our power, and our status.

As Carney explores in her forthcoming book, The Five Nonverbal Rules of Power , there are several key areas of nonverbal behavior that we need to grasp in order to fully tap our potential as communicators. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart , she and host Matt Abrahams discuss how to read the nonverbal communication of others — and how to gain control of the nonverbals we express to the world.

Listen & Subscribe

Think Fast, Talk Smart is a podcast produced by Stanford Graduate School of Business. Each episode provides concrete, easy-to-implement tools and techniques to help you hone and enhance your communication skills.

Full Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated by machine and lightly edited by humans. They may contain errors.

Matt Abrahams: I’m old enough to remember watching television in black and white, and the day we got our first color tv, my mind was blown. The same thing is true when you go from just focusing on verbal messages to thinking about nonverbal communication. My name is Matt Abraham’s and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast . Today I am really excited to talk with Dana Carney. Dana is the George Quis chair in business ethics at Berkeley’s HA School of Business. This year she’s on sabbatical from Berkeley and is spending time with us here in the management group at the GSB. Her research focuses on the nonverbal ways in which we communicate our biases, our preferences, our power, and our status. Her forthcoming book on nonverbal behavior is expected at the end of the year. Welcome, Dana. I am really looking forward to our conversation. Thanks for being here,

Dana Carney: Matt. Thank you so much for having me. I was so excited when you reached out.

Matt Abrahams: Should we get started?

Dana Carney: Absolutely.

[01:04] Matt Abrahams: Dana, I’m so excited for this conversation because I have long been fascinated by your research and nonverbal communication. When I teach nonverbal communication, I referenced the three vs. Visual, verbal and vocal. Visual is what we see. Verbal is the words and fillers and spaces that we have, and then vocal is how we say those words. I’m curious, do you see nonverbal communication the same way and how do you explain it when you talk about it

[01:34] Dana Carney: Almost the same way? First, there’s two big circles, Venn diagram overlapping circles. One is the perception side. What are the nonverbal behaviors that we need to pay attention to when we’re trying to make sense of or understand other people or situations? Then there’s the expression side, which is what are the behaviors that we can use as tools to express or land a particular attribute? So I would layer those on top of your three Vs. And then I would add, when you said visual, I would split that into face and body as separate channels.

Matt Abrahams: So nonverbals gives us a whole set of tools through which we can communicate information, and some of it are things we can control as you mentioned, and other things are things that perhaps are a less in our control, but we convey information through the words we say, but also how we say it and the demeanor with which we say it. I find this fascinating because there’s this whole other channel that we often don’t think about. Can you discuss how our perceptions of power in status are influenced by nonverbal communication?

[02:40] Dana Carney: So it’s an entire chapter in my books in the chapter, it’s called The Five Nonverbal Rules of Power, and what it is is a Venn diagram where the perception nonverbals, the ones we need to know to read power accurately and the ones that people think are associated with power they intersect, and five areas of nonverbal behavior that if we remember those we can really tap into power and I’ll give you two that I think are particularly useful because people have a lot of control over them. One of them is eye contact. When you look at someone when you’re speaking and when they’re speaking, you’re really taking up space with your eyes. You’re not only saying, I see you, I hear you, but also I’m speaking to you and distributing that around the room. You’re almost spreading yourself around the room when you’re looking around there.

[03:33] So eye contact is one that we have control over and it’s easy to force yourself to distribute and to use, and it has additional benefits. Not only does it convey power, but it conveys intelligence and warmth. So you just can’t go wrong with eye contact. So that would be one that I would say is one that everyone can practice and use. And another one is expansion. And I don’t just mean with your body, I don’t just mean taking up physical space with the bubble that’s around your body. I mean expansion in all kinds of ways. So taking a longer time to say what you’re saying, if you take more time, you are taking up space. So you see there’s a number of ways of taking up space. You can do it with how much you speak, how slowly you speak physically, spreading your body out in a way that feels comfortable. So those were the two I would say are easy to control and there’s a version of each that most people could probably find.

[04:37] Matt Abrahams: So taking space and connecting through space, through eye contact, really important. That example of all the things we could do to take space shows the different types of paint that we can use to paint in this nonverbal way. It’s how you say it, how long you say it, how you physically show up, and not just you personally, but the stuff you put in front of you. All of that. And there’s this whole conversation that’s happening at that level that we perceive that we don’t necessarily consciously think about. I want to dive just a little deeper. Clearly culture and context plays a role in this. Some cultures I’m aware of, eye contact is actually seen as rude because you’re supposed to defer. What’s your take on the intersection of culture and context when it comes to nonverbals

Dana Carney: Eye contact? There’s not a lot of variability across culture when it comes to the speaker making eye contact with others. It’s where the rudeness or the cross-cultural variability in whether or not you’re being disrespectful comes from whether you’re looking at the speaker when you’re being spoken to. So it’s when you’re on the receiving end of being yelled at or reprimanded or whatever. Looking back is typically where you see the variability, not if I’m the speaker and I look at you, but yes, context matters, culture matters. So what I like to say is that there are certain sort of pillars that are safe spaces. For example, if you’re trying to convey warmth, looking at someone being a little bit closer to them, how close varies by culture, but proximity in general is associated with intimacy, body orientation toward, so these are all cues called immediacy cues, directing your communication toward them, like talking to them and smiling or nodding like you’re doing now you’re encouraging me smiling and nodding.

Those are called back channel responses. They unconsciously or implicitly are saying, I hear you, I see you. I recognize what you’re saying. We’re on the same page. There’s a cluster of things that convey liking, and so there might be some variability around how close or how much eye contact, but generally speaking, those are safe. And so when we go to another culture, we just need to figure out what are the boundaries around. So if I go to one culture, it’s two kisses, kiss, kiss, other cultures, there’s three kisses, kiss, kiss, kiss, other cultures, it’s the left cheek for them, another right? So it’s kind of like those things. It’s a nonverbal version of how many cheeks do I kiss and how many times. Right,

[07:16] Matt Abrahams: Right. I appreciate that answer. It’s very nuanced and there’s complexity to it, but that’s the reality of nonverbal communication. This is not simple. I’m taking several things away from what you said. One that there are some foundational principles are, as you said, safe spaces around which there’s nuance that is culturally learnable and we just have to be sensitive to that. And so the big message I’m taking away is we just have to build awareness and be sensitive. We can ask, we can observe, we can research to learn what’s appropriate and not appropriate and know that by invoking the appropriate nonverbals, we can achieve goals like demonstrating warmth and liking that can really help us in ways sometimes that our words don’t allow us to do.

Dana Carney: Exactly.

[08:01] Matt Abrahams: I have another question for you about the relative value of nonverbals and actual messages. Where do you fall on the relative importance of verbal content versus nonverbal behavior? In other words, what we say versus how we say it?

Dana Carney: No, I don’t think any reasonable scientists would say that nonverbal is more important than verbal. I think most of us would say both are extremely important. If we’re in a domain where I have a reason to lie or maybe I don’t know, racial bias and discrimination being one, right? People aren’t aware of their biases or they are aware of them, but maybe not the extent to which they hold them, then we get into some territory where nonverbals start to be maybe more meaningful than verbals because I don’t realize that I have bias. I think that when you get into territory where either people don’t have introspective access to how they think or feel or they have their incentivized not to reveal it, right? In an economic game or a strategic interaction or a negotiation, that’s where nonverbal becomes really fun and interesting and useful because words aren’t enough in that case.

Matt Abrahams: Absolutely. Yeah. So they’re both important and sometimes differentially important depending on the context, which again brings us back to this notion of context. So I have an example I always use when I teach. If you’re in a doctor’s office and the doctor says, how are you doing? That means one thing. If you’re at a bar at a party and somebody says, how are you doing? That means something very different. The words are the same, the environment and context is different, and we somehow know how to navigate through that, but also we can run into a lot of trouble when we misunderstand.

[09:46] Dana Carney: Yes, and this is when knowing what our goal is is so incredibly important. If I’m at that bar and my goal is I’m attracted to this person and so I want to convey some attraction, so I might dip into some cues associated with attraction or being attractive. So when people use a breathier voice, they can come off as a little more attractive versus I’m a doctor and my goal is empathy. I want you to know that I’m listening. So the first thing you need to think about in a context is what’s my goal here? If I’m a doctor, I want to make sure that my patient feels heard and understood. If I’m in a bar and I just truly want to know how someone’s doing, I don’t want to use a vocal tone that might express attraction, I might want to be more casual or upbeat like, Hey, how you doing?

[10:39] Use colloquial tone of voice with a lot of vocal variability that might be associated with having a good time. So that’s the first thing to do is what is my goal in this social interaction? And look, all of this stuff is happening in a fraction of a second, right? I mean, we don’t sit down and script out what we’re going to do before I’m going to go to the barge, and when I see this person, I’m going to say, I like to think about nonverbal communication as a language. Because once we kind of know what’s the list of cues associated with liking, which ones of those are associated with platonic liking versus intimate liking, and when I do this one, oh gosh, I don’t mean to be sending the wrong signal. So now not to do them and which behaviors are associated with being trusted, which behaviors are associated with conveying power? That I think really will help us think about how can I best land whatever it is that I am trying to land.

[11:33] Matt Abrahams: We’ve talked often about this notion of having a goal. When you communicate by default, I think many people think of the words that I say, and what I’m hearing you say is we have to expand that goal to be thinking about how do we achieve that goal, not just through the words we say, but how we say it. And that’s really, really important. This notion of there’s a language and we have to understand and become fluent in that language, and some are more fluent than others, perhaps we have a time to talk about the people receiving that language. If I’m at a bar and hope that you’re signaling attraction to me, I’m going to be looking for things in a way that I might not if I weren’t the rose colored glasses, if you will, which I think is a separate conversation about our perception of nonverbals, not just our signaling of nonverbals

[12:19] Dana Carney: Sometimes the nonverbal cues overlap, but if the audience takes one thing away from this conversation about nonverbal communication, it’s that there are perception and expression and they’re different, and also they overlap. And the easiest places to memorize what are the cues are the places of overlap, which is when we talked about the five non-verbal rules of power, and I gave you two of them, that they’re at the intersection of both perception and expression, which is those are the nice ones to memorize and practice because they do both.

[12:52] Matt Abrahams: Excellent. I want to keep this notion of language fluency. What are some things that we can do to become more aware of our nonverbal communication and how they come across? When I’m learning a language, I practice with people who say, no, your accent’s off, or you’re saying that wrong. What are some things that we can do to actually become more fluent? How can we learn about it? I ask my students to digitally record themselves as they practice. So they see their nonverbals and they watch it, and then they listen to it separately. So they’re hearing the different channels. What advice do you have about ways to help us become more conscious of what we’re doing? Because a lot of this is unconscious.

[13:29] Dana Carney: Yes, that is exactly right. Hearing or seeing ourselves. So watching yourself is a really big way to know how, at least, how you perceive yourself. I would add some layers on top of that. First of all, in an exercise like that, right down beforehand, one or two goals that you have for that interaction. Do I want to try to come off as really smart here? Do I want to be warm? Am I trying to make new friends? Am I trying to do well in this negotiation? Am I trying to do well in this negotiation and retain friends? What’s my goal? And then I watch that video or listen to the audio, and I try to assess whether I appropriately land it that way. At least did I think that I correctly sent the messages I intended to send? That’s one piece of the puzzle, but that’s your perception.

[14:20] Now it’s a matter of what did other people perceive. A big part of it is I intended to be kind, and when I look at myself, I seem to be kind, but we lack self-awareness about how we come across sometimes. And other people will see us and say like, oh, no, no, no. Let’s say our faces tend to be a little cranky, and we know that we smiled three more times in that interaction. So for us, we’re like, I was so nice in that interaction. I smiled three times. I never smile. So for us, we knew it was a big deviation from our baseline, and so we think we landed in a really warm positive way, but a stranger or another person with whom we interacted, if they were to watch and make ratings on those same dimensions, might give us a much lower score, which helps us assess, okay, so how I intended to land and whether or not I was successful, and then there was how did other people perceive that? And so that’s the missing piece in that puzzle is how do other people perceive you? And a layer a bit more on top of that, which is how do strangers perceive you versus friends or people who know you a little bit?

[15:34] Matt Abrahams: This is really useful in that we can all look to better understand our nonverbal presence in terms of how it’s landing. We have our intent and we can see it, and we have knowledge relative to our baseline, but we also have to seek outside of ourselves. And when we do that, we also have to think about how much does information does that other person have about us? That’s really insightful, and in fact, it’s going to change the way I have my students look at their own behavior.

[16:07] Matt Abrahams: I like to say the only way to get better at communication, verbal or nonverbal is three things, repetition, reflection, and feedback. You have to practice, you have to reflect, and then you have to give feedback. Dana, before we end, I’d like to ask you some questions. The first question will be unique to you, and then the other two are questions I ask everybody. Are you up for that?

Dana Carney: Yep, sounds great.

[16:28] Matt Abrahams: Is there a particular nonverbal behavior that you look to assess credibility and confidence when you’re talking to others? What is it that you look for as an expert in this? Is there one thing you look for?

Dana Carney: Yes. We have not talked about coherence across channels. We talked about different channels of communication, the voice, the body, the face, but we haven’t talked about consistency across those channels. I’m looking for consistency across channels. If my face and my body and my voice and my words, if all of those things are saying the same thing, that makes me feel like that person is full in that way, I feel comfortable with them. Not only that they know what they’re talking about and they know whatever they’re saying is probably true. That is the thing that I pay attention to the most. And if people are inconsistent across channel, doesn’t necessarily mean something’s awry, but it’s something I pay attention to because it provides information about are they conflicted about what it is they’re talking about.

[17:37] Matt Abrahams: I appreciate you sharing with us this notion of coherence because we’ve really dissected nonverbal communication into these very specific parts, and we have to remember that there’s a totality and whole that gets communicated and that we can assess that as well. It’s not just, did you make eye contact? It’s is the eye contact consistent with the body posture, with the vocal tone and the words and the words to help? Thank you. Question number two, who is a communicator that you admire and why?

[18:05] Dana Carney: Winston Churchill, the two reasons I think that he’s just one of the best communicators, or the one that I probably look up to the most is that, I mean, he was so effective in being able to grab the hearts and minds of an entire country and to galvanize people. And the second reason is that Winston Churchill turned a speech impediment into his greatest source of power. He had a stutter, and he turned that into pause because of his stutter, he learned to pause a lot and to use those pauses extremely effectively,

[18:43] Matt Abrahams: Truly an amazing communicator, and he worked hard. Final question. What are the first three ingredients that go into a successful communication recipe?

[18:53] Dana Carney: So first of all, we had talked about goals, right? You have to know what your goal is. If you don’t have clarity, at least a little bit of clarity about what your goal is, then you’re not going to be very effective. So my goal today was just to be clear, I didn’t quite know where we were going to go. I just knew that it was important for me to, whatever it was that I was going to get it across in a way that was at least a little bit succinct. Then knowing the nonverbal behaviors that land best for us, and that goes back to what we were talking about, the baseline knowing how we typically are so that we can figure out like, okay, I need to dial up the warmth. I don’t come across warmly at all. Like, gosh, I kind of see mean I’m not mean at all.

[19:40] It’s not that you’re trying to be something that you’re not. It’s that you are something, but it doesn’t come across and you’re like, oh gosh, how do I fix that? Right? And that’s where your idea of practice. So then it’s knowing which cues I can dabble in. There’s a long list of immediacy cues that you can look at to try to practice and try on to figure out which one suits you the best, literally. And then what you said, practice, and it’s not about faking it or not being authentic. It really is about, I am a nice person, or let’s say you’re not a nice person. Let’s say you truly are not a nice person. Let’s say you’re a cranky person, but there are sometimes that you’re nice and let’s say your goal is to be nice right now. So my advice is try to think about the times that you want to be nice or that you are nice or that you truly feel nice and say like, okay, what are the things that are most comfortable for me to do when I am being nice? And then tap into those behaviors because those are the ones that are comfortable for you. And then practice them, and they do in fact land the way you intend them to. So those are the ingredients. It’s having a goal, knowing the best nonverbal behaviors that land what you’re intending to land, and then practicing, right? Just making sure that you’re doing them in an unconscious way, that you don’t have to spend a whole lot of time thinking about it, that they’re just automatically coming out of you.

[21:09] Matt Abrahams: So be clear on your goal. Be clear on your baseline and practice. So Dana, thank you so much for your time and for your wisdom. People can’t see this, but I’m bowing my head and putting my hands together to demonstrate gratefulness,

Dana Carney: And I have my hand on my heart and I’m nodding my head to using, saying, thank you so much.

[21:30] Matt Abrahams: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast from Stanford, GSB. To learn more about nonverbal communication, please listen to episode 12 with Deb Gruenfeld or episode 16 with Burt Alper. This episode was produced by Jenny Luna, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams. Our music is from Floyd Wonder. Please find us on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe and rate us. Also follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram and check out faster smarter.io for deep dive videos, English language learning content, and our newsletter.

For media inquiries, visit the Newsroom .

Explore More

Communicating through conflict: how to get along with anyone, power, culture, persuasion, and the self: communication insights from stanford gsb faculty, navigating the nuance: the art of disagreeing without conflict, editor’s picks.

January 24, 2024 Hardwired for Hierarchy: Our Relationship With Power If we want to change power structures, then we need to understand the animal forces that drive our behavior.

June 08, 2020 It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: How to Communicate Power On this podcast episode, we discuss how to harness power through non-verbal communication.

August 15, 2023 Create a Presence: How to Communicate in a Way Others Can Feel In this episode, Muriel Wilkins shares how the best communicators create a strong presence.

March 12, 2020 From Monologue to Dialogue: How to Handle a Skeptical Audience Use these techniques when handling challenges and objections.

July 31, 2020 Quick Think: How to Use Body Language When Confronting Objections In this bonus episode, Stanford GSB lecturers share advice on how to position yourself when met with skepticism from your audience.

• See the Current DEI Report
• Supporting Data
• Research & Insights
• Share Your Thoughts
• Search Fund Primer
• Teaching & Curriculum
• Affiliated Faculty
• Faculty Advisors
• Louis W. Foster Resource Center
• Defining Social Innovation
• Impact Compass
• Global Health Innovation Insights
• Faculty Affiliates
• Student Awards & Certificates
• Changemakers
• Dean Jonathan Levin
• Dean Garth Saloner
• Dean Robert Joss
• Dean Michael Spence
• Dean Robert Jaedicke
• Dean Rene McPherson
• Dean Arjay Miller
• Dean Ernest Arbuckle
• Dean Jacob Hugh Jackson
• Dean Willard Hotchkiss
• Faculty in Memoriam
• Stanford GSB Firsts
• Class of 2024 Candidates
• Certificate & Award Recipients
• Dean’s Remarks
• Keynote Address
• Teaching Approach
• Analysis and Measurement of Impact
• The Corporate Entrepreneur: Startup in a Grown-Up Enterprise
• Data-Driven Impact
• Designing Experiments for Impact
• Digital Marketing
• The Founder’s Right Hand
• Marketing for Measurable Change
• Product Management
• Public Policy Lab: Financial Challenges Facing US Cities
• Public Policy Lab: Homelessness in California
• Lab Features
• Curricular Integration
• View From The Top
• Formation of New Ventures
• Managing Growing Enterprises
• Startup Garage
• Explore Beyond the Classroom
• Stanford Venture Studio
• Summer Program
• Workshops & Events
• The Five Lenses of Entrepreneurship
• Leadership Labs
• Executive Challenge
• Arbuckle Leadership Fellows Program
• Selection Process
• Training Schedule
• Time Commitment
• Learning Expectations
• Post-Training Opportunities
• Who Should Apply
• Introductory T-Groups
• Leadership for Society Program
• Certificate
• 2024 Awardees
• 2023 Awardees
• 2022 Awardees
• 2021 Awardees
• 2020 Awardees
• 2019 Awardees
• 2018 Awardees
• Social Management Immersion Fund
• Stanford Impact Founder Fellowships
• Stanford Impact Leader Prizes
• Social Entrepreneurship
• Stanford GSB Impact Fund
• Economic Development
• Energy & Environment
• Stanford GSB Residences
• Environmental Leadership
• Stanford GSB Artwork
• A Closer Look
• California & the Bay Area
• Voices of Stanford GSB
• Business & Beneficial Technology
• Business & Sustainability
• Business & Free Markets
• Business, Government, and Society Forum
• Get Involved
• Second Year
• Global Experiences
• JD/MBA Joint Degree
• MA Education/MBA Joint Degree
• MD/MBA Dual Degree
• MPP/MBA Joint Degree
• MS Computer Science/MBA Joint Degree
• MS Electrical Engineering/MBA Joint Degree
• MS Environment and Resources (E-IPER)/MBA Joint Degree
• Academic Calendar
• Clubs & Activities
• LGBTQ+ Students
• Military Veterans
• Minorities & People of Color
• Partners & Families
• Students with Disabilities
• Student Support
• Residential Life
• Student Voices
• MBA Alumni Voices
• A Week in the Life
• Career Support
• Employment Outcomes
• Cost of Attendance
• Knight-Hennessy Scholars Program
• Yellow Ribbon Program
• BOLD Fellows Fund
• Application Process
• Loan Forgiveness
• Contact the Financial Aid Office
• Evaluation Criteria
• GMAT & GRE
• English Language Proficiency
• Personal Information, Activities & Awards
• Professional Experience
• Letters of Recommendation
• Optional Short Answer Questions
• Application Fee
• Reapplication
• Deferred Enrollment
• Joint & Dual Degrees
• Entering Class Profile
• Event Schedule
• Ambassadors
• New & Noteworthy
• Ask a Question
• See Why Stanford MSx
• Is MSx Right for You?
• MSx Stories
• Leadership Development
• How You Will Learn
• Admission Events
• Personal Information
• GMAT, GRE & EA
• English Proficiency Tests
• Career Change
• Career Advancement
• Daycare, Schools & Camps
• U.S. Citizens and Permanent Residents
• Requirements
• Requirements: Behavioral
• Requirements: Quantitative
• Requirements: Macro
• Requirements: Micro
• Annual Evaluations
• Field Examination
• Research Activities
• Research Papers
• Dissertation
• Oral Examination
• Current Students
• Education & CV
• International Applicants
• Statement of Purpose
• Reapplicants
• Application Fee Waiver
• Deadline & Decisions
• Job Market Candidates
• Academic Placements
• Stay in Touch
• Faculty Mentors
• Current Fellows
• Standard Track
• Fellowship & Benefits
• Group Enrollment
• Program Formats
• Developing a Program
• Diversity & Inclusion
• Strategic Transformation
• Program Experience
• Contact Client Services
• Campus Experience
• Live Online Experience
• Silicon Valley & Bay Area
• Digital Credentials
• Faculty Spotlights
• Participant Spotlights
• Eligibility
• International Participants
• Stanford Ignite
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Operations, Information & Technology
• Organizational Behavior
• Political Economy
• Classical Liberalism
• The Eddie Lunch
• Accounting Summer Camp
• California Econometrics Conference
• California Quantitative Marketing PhD Conference
• California School Conference
• China India Insights Conference
• Homo economicus, Evolving
• Political Economics (2023–24)
• Scaling Geologic Storage of CO2 (2023–24)
• A Resilient Pacific: Building Connections, Envisioning Solutions
• Adaptation and Innovation
• Changing Climate
• Civil Society
• Climate Impact Summit
• Climate Science
• Corporate Carbon Disclosures
• Earth’s Seafloor
• Environmental Justice
• Operations and Information Technology
• Organizations
• Sustainability Reporting and Control
• Taking the Pulse of the Planet
• Urban Infrastructure
• Watershed Restoration
• Junior Faculty Workshop on Financial Regulation and Banking
• Ken Singleton Celebration
• Marketing Camp
• Quantitative Marketing PhD Alumni Conference
• Presentations
• Theory and Inference in Accounting Research
• Stanford Closer Look Series
• Quick Guides
• Core Concepts
• Journal Articles
• Glossary of Terms
• Faculty & Staff
• Researchers & Students
• Research Approach
• Charitable Giving
• Financial Health
• Government Services
• Workers & Careers
• Short Course
• Adaptive & Iterative Experimentation
• Incentive Design
• Social Sciences & Behavioral Nudges
• Bandit Experiment Application
• Conferences & Events
• Reading Materials
• Energy Entrepreneurship
• Faculty & Affiliates
• SOLE Report
• Responsible Supply Chains
• Current Study Usage
• Pre-Registration Information
• Participate in a Study
• Founding Donors
• Location Information
• Participant Profile
• Network Membership
• Program Impact
• Collaborators
• Entrepreneur Profiles
• Company Spotlights
• Seed Transformation Network
• Responsibilities
• Current Coaches
• How to Apply
• Meet the Consultants
• Meet the Interns
• Intern Profiles
• Collaborate
• Research Library
• News & Insights
• Program Contacts
• Databases & Datasets
• Research Guides
• Consultations
• Research Workshops
• Career Research
• Research Data Services
• Course Reserves
• Course Research Guides
• Material Loan Periods
• Fines & Other Charges
• Document Delivery
• Interlibrary Loan
• Equipment Checkout
• Print & Scan
• MBA & MSx Students
• PhD Students
• Other Stanford Students
• Faculty Assistants
• Research Assistants
• Stanford GSB Alumni
• Telling Our Story
• Staff Directory
• Site Registration
• Alumni Directory
• Alumni Email
• Privacy Settings & My Profile
• Success Stories
• The Story of Circles
• Support Women’s Circles
• Stanford Women on Boards Initiative
• Alumnae Spotlights
• Insights & Research
• Industry & Professional
• Entrepreneurial Commitment Group
• Recent Alumni
• Half-Century Club
• Fall Reunions
• Spring Reunions
• MBA 25th Reunion
• Half-Century Club Reunion
• Faculty Lectures
• Ernest C. Arbuckle Award
• Alison Elliott Exceptional Achievement Award
• ENCORE Award
• Excellence in Leadership Award
• John W. Gardner Volunteer Leadership Award
• Robert K. Jaedicke Faculty Award
• Jack McDonald Military Service Appreciation Award
• Jerry I. Porras Latino Leadership Award
• Tapestry Award
• Student & Alumni Events
• Executive Recruiters
• Interviewing
• Land the Perfect Job with LinkedIn
• Negotiating
• Elevator Pitch
• Email Best Practices
• Resumes & Cover Letters
• Self-Assessment
• Whitney Birdwell Ball
• Margaret Brooks
• Bryn Panee Burkhart
• Margaret Chan
• Ricki Frankel
• Peter Gandolfo
• Cindy W. Greig
• Natalie Guillen
• Carly Janson
• Sloan Klein
• Sherri Appel Lassila
• Stuart Meyer
• Tanisha Parrish
• Virginia Roberson
• Philippe Taieb
• Michael Takagawa
• Terra Winston
• Johanna Wise
• Debbie Wolter
• Rebecca Zucker
• Complimentary Coaching
• Changing Careers
• Work-Life Integration
• Career Breaks
• Flexible Work
• Encore Careers
• Join a Board
• D&B Hoovers
• Data Axle (ReferenceUSA)
• EBSCO Business Source
• Global Newsstream
• Market Share Reporter
• ProQuest One Business
• RKMA Market Research Handbook Series
• Student Clubs
• Entrepreneurial Students
• Stanford GSB Trust
• Alumni Community
• How to Volunteer
• Springboard Sessions
• Consulting Projects
• 2020 – 2029
• 2010 – 2019
• 2000 – 2009
• 1990 – 1999
• 1980 – 1989
• 1970 – 1979
• 1960 – 1969
• 1950 – 1959
• 1940 – 1949
• Service Areas
• ACT History
• ACT Awards Celebration
• ACT Governance Structure
• Building Leadership for ACT
• Individual Leadership Positions
• Leadership Role Overview
• Purpose of the ACT Management Board
• Contact ACT
• Business & Nonprofit Communities
• Reunion Volunteers
• Ways to Give
• Fiscal Year Report
• Business School Fund Leadership Council
• Planned Giving Options
• Planned Giving Benefits
• Planned Gifts and Reunions
• Legacy Partners
• Giving News & Stories
• Giving Deadlines
• Development Staff
• Submit Class Notes
• Class Secretaries
• Board of Directors
• Health Care
• Sustainability
• Class Takeaways
• All Else Equal: Making Better Decisions
• If/Then: Business, Leadership, Society
• Grit & Growth
• Think Fast, Talk Smart
• Spring 2022
• Spring 2021
• Autumn 2020
• Summer 2020
• Winter 2020
• In the Media
• For Journalists
• DCI Fellows
• Other Auditors
• Academic Calendar & Deadlines
• Course Materials
• Entrepreneurial Resources
• Campus Drive Grove
• Campus Drive Lawn
• CEMEX Auditorium
• King Community Court
• Seawell Family Boardroom
• Stanford GSB Bowl
• Stanford Investors Common
• Town Square
• Vidalakis Courtyard
• Vidalakis Dining Hall
• Catering Services
• Policies & Guidelines
• Reservations
• Contact Faculty Recruiting
• Lecturer Positions
• Postdoctoral Positions
• Accommodations
• CMC-Managed Interviews
• Recruiter-Managed Interviews
• Virtual Interviews
• Campus & Virtual
• Search for Candidates
• Think Globally
• Recruiting Calendar
• Recruiting Policies
• Full-Time Employment
• Summer Employment
• Entrepreneurial Summer Program
• Global Management Immersion Experience
• Social-Purpose Summer Internships
• Process Overview
• Project Types
• Client Eligibility Criteria
• Client Screening
• ACT Leadership
• Social Innovation & Nonprofit Management Resources
• Develop Your Organization’s Talent
• Centers & Initiatives
• Student Fellowships

Nonverbal Communication: Why It’s Important and How to Use It

Here’s something that might surprise you: When you’re talking with someone, most of your message isn’t communicated through your words. Rather, it’s communicated through your actions–your facial expressions, body language, and other physical signals.

Another term for those signals is nonverbal communication. Because it’s so powerful, nonverbal communication is an important skill to know how to use. It has big benefits in all kinds of situations, from work and school to everyday life.

Let’s take a look at the types of nonverbal communication, what they communicate, and how to get better at this skill.

What is nonverbal communication?

Nonverbal communication refers to the transmission of information without the use of words or spoken language. It includes a large variety of signals or cues that we use while talking. These cues can be used either consciously or unconsciously. 

There is power in nonverbal communication. Even our pets can analyze our face and understand the basics of our message! Think of how your dog reacts when you give him a stern look and use a serious voice. Now compare that with when you use a big smile and an upbeat tone. 

Nonverbal communication can work for you or against you.

Nonverbal communication can work for you or against you. It can greatly influence the way your listener interprets your message. It can affect your credibility at work and how you develop relationships with other people. It’s important to learn exactly what your nonverbal signals might be conveying, so you can make sure they support what you’re trying to say. 

Examples of nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication occurs in many forms. Here are some types of nonverbal communication:

Eye contact: Maintaining or avoiding eye contact can signals to the listener your interest, comfort, and honesty–or discomfort or boredom.

Gestures: Hand movements, waving, or pointing can express agreement, disagreement, emphasis, or direction. 

Silence: Pauses or moments of silence can convey understanding, anticipation, contemplation, disagreement, or tension. 

Facial expression: Smiling, frowning, raising eyebrows, or squinting can convey emotions such as happiness, sadness, surprise, or skepticism. 

Posture and body language: Leaning in or away, crossing arms, standing tall, or slouching can communicate interest, openness, confidence, or defensiveness. 

Space and proximity: The physical distance between people can communicate intimacy, formality, or personal boundaries. 

Tone of voice: Variations in tone, pitch, volume, and emphasis can convey many emotions, such as warmth and support. 

Appearance: Personal style, grooming, and clothing can communicate professionalism, cultural affiliations, or individual identity. 

Touch: A handshake, a pat on the back, a tap on the arm, or a hug can convey support, congratulations, or interruption. 

Nonverbal communication varies across cultures

It’s important to understand that many of these nonverbal behaviors vary from culture to culture. Depending on a person’s background, they may interpret some of these behaviors differently. 

For example, the meaning of eye contact varies widely across countries and cultures. For some, it might be considered disrespectful or confrontational, particularly when communicating with elders or people in authority. 

Certain gestures that are common in one culture might have different meanings or even be offensive in another. An example is the “thumbs up” gesture, which indicates positivity in some cultures but is rude in others.

Here are some other examples of cultural differences in nonverbal communication:

Silence: In some cultures, silence might show agreement or thoughtfulness, while in others, it can be perceived as discomfort or disagreement.

Facial expressions: How we understand facial expressions can differ. For example, while a smile might mean happiness, how often or when people smile can vary culturally.

Touch: In some cultures, hugging or kissing on the cheek is common among acquaintances. In other cultures, it might be reserved for close friends or family.

Body language: The interpretation of hand movements or postures can differ significantly. What may be considered a friendly gesture in one culture might be seen as offensive or inappropriate in another. 

When communicating with someone from a culture different from your own, it’s important to take the time to ensure they understand your nonverbal cues. Pay attention to their reactions so you can avoid misunderstandings. Being aware and respectful of these differences helps you build successful relationships and interactions. 

How to improve your nonverbal communication

With so much variation in nonverbal behaviors and the importance they play in your message, it’s helpful to learn to focus on your own cues. This should start with self-awareness. Just by reading this article, you’re becoming more aware of how nonverbal cues can impact your message.

It’s also important to practice active listening. Active listening is a communication technique that involves fully concentrating on, understanding, responding to, and remembering what is being said. It’s more than just hearing someone. It’s a way of listening that involves engaging with the speaker on multiple levels. When people practice active listening, they can better understand each other’s cues and the meaning behind their words. 

A speech therapist can help you identify the behaviors you use during different types of conversations.

It’s not always easy to improve your awareness and mastery of nonverbal communication. Speech-language pathologists, also known as speech therapists, play a crucial role in helping people build these skills. A speech therapist can help you identify the behaviors you use during different types of conversations. For example, during interactions that feel intimidating or stressful, such as a job interview or work presentation, you may find yourself using nonverbal cues that don’t occur during simple conversations. Perhaps you have a hard time sitting still, or you cross your arms or furrow your brow. These behaviors can affect your credibility or your ability to persuade the listener.

During individualized sessions with a speech therapist, you will learn about nonverbal actions that negatively impact your message. Your speech therapist will teach you nonverbal communication techniques, and they’ll provide feedback and guidance on your communication style. They may also guide you in video recording and reviewing your speech. As much as it can feel difficult to watch yourself, recordings help you develop a feeling for the presence of specific cues. 

By actively observing, understanding, and practicing nonverbal communication skills, you can become more skilled and confident in using these cues to enhance your interactions–at work, at school, and in everyday life.

Discuss your communication needs with a specialist for free

More from adults.

Watch learning jump (leap! spring! hop!) from your sessions into the real world.

Learn more about All topics

What Is Nonverbal Communication And Why Is It Important?

Body language is often considered when communicating with another person. However, people may not discuss how nonverbal communication works, as it might feel like second nature. You may have heard that only 7% of communication is verbal. While this “rule” has largely been  disproven , nonverbal communication skills are often essential to social connection and understanding. Additionally, some communities, such as the deaf or hard-of-hearing community, tend to use nonverbal communication types more often than others do.

Nonverbal cues tend to go beyond tone of voice and include facial expressions, hand gestures, and eye contact, which can play a significant role in interpersonal relationships and help convey information without words. Understanding your subconscious nonverbal behaviors may offer insight into how others view you. When used intentionally, reading body language, facial expressions, and other nonverbal signals can be valuable and rewarding tools for improving communication skills and learning how to convey information effectively in various cultural contexts, including Western cultures.

What is nonverbal communication?

How you hold your body, sit, lie down, or stand may communicate meaning to other people. For example, if you are interested in a conversation, you may lean in toward the person talking. Reclining back in a chair or crossing your legs might show you are comfortable and relaxed. If you are fidgeting and restless, it could indicate negative emotions such as nervousness, impatience, or difficulty sitting still.

Nonverbal communication examples like aggressive posture might include standing close to another person, invading their personal space without consent, rapid arm movements when angry, or walking hurriedly toward another person with an angry expression. Your person's body language might also communicate attraction, sadness, or illness. For example, you might hunch over or lower your head when you are ill, conveying physical characteristics associated with other negative emotions. Understanding these types of nonverbal communication can help enhance our interactions with others and effectively convey our feelings within the context of physical space. 

Eye contact

In some cases, eye contact may be perceived as a non verbal communication indicator. For example, if you are actively listening to someone, you might make eye contact to signal you’re paying attention. On the other hand, holding eye contact for an extended period might make someone feel uncomfortable.

Some individuals struggle with eye contact, such as those on the autism spectrum. However, studies on adults with autism show that when an autistic person makes eye contact, the processing centers of their brain deactivate, indicating that eye contact may not signify listening skills for everyone. Autistic adults and children may listen better and feel more comfortable not making eye contact. This demonstrates the importance of understanding both verbal communication and nonverbal communications in various contexts, as people may express their engagement and understanding differently beyond spoken words. 

Facial expressions 

There are many ways that your facial expressions may communicate the emotions you feel to the people around you. Smiling can let people know that you are happy or friendly. Frowning often communicates that you are sad, irritated, or concerned. Furrowing your eyebrows can make you look angry or focused. 

Often, facial expressions may be misinterpreted. In these cases, verbal language might be a tool to explain what one is feeling without assumptions. 

The hand gestures that you make may add to a conversation, allowing you to communicate with someone without having to speak out loud. For example, you might point at something to indicate importance or gesture to increase the importance of a statement you’re making. 

When using American Sign Language (ASL), the way you gesture may communicate the emotion that goes along with the words you are signing. You might gesture more hurriedly if you’re stressed or out of time or slowly if you’re trying to make an essential point. 

Personal space

The amount of space you leave between you and someone else may also communicate your feelings. When two people sit very closely together with little space between them, it can show that they are in a close relationship. Alternately, if a person purposefully puts a lot of space between them and someone else, they might feel uncomfortable with physical closeness, or wish to end the conversation. 

Physical touch can communicate several emotions. You might show compassion and empathy for someone by hugging them when they are sad. You may give a high-five to someone to show that you support them and are celebrating with them. Or you might tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention if they are turned away from you. 

Touch can be harmful, as well. For example, people might try to hug or kiss someone without consent. In some cases, physical touch can be used out of anger, such as punching, hitting, or kicking. These behaviors are abusive. 

If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 for support. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788. You can also use the online chat.  

Assistive technology

Assistive technology is sometimes used to make verbal speech without actually speaking. Some individuals, including individuals living with autism and those with a mental or physical condition affecting speech, may experience selective or uncontrollable mutism. 

An app, or assistive device, may speak for these individuals by reading the words typed on a screen or selected through image queues out loud. In some cases, the technology may come with an eye tracker that allows individuals with paralysis to converse by looking at the words or letters they want to say. Although the words are spoken verbally, they are spoken by a machine prompted by the individual instead of by voice.  

Sign language

American Sign Language involves hand gestures and movements, sometimes accompanied by lip movements or verbal speech. Often, those who utilize ASL are deaf or hard of hearing. However, not everyone that uses it is. Those who experience mutism may also use ASL. 

ASL is a fully formed language that can communicate as much as verbal language. This language may be the only language used by some people. Each country may have its own form of sign language.

Cultural differences 

In different cultures, nonverbal communication can have varying connotations. For example, sitting close to someone in one culture may indicate attraction, while in other cultures, it could be normal or preferred, including among strangers. Smiling can also be interpreted differently depending on the country you are in. While a smile is considered friendly and inviting in some places, other locations may consider it rude, inconsiderate, or threatening. 

Why is nonverbal communication important?

The  importance of communication  in a relationship is immeasurable. While communication is often verbal, nonverbal communication can support a verbal message or communicate what is going unsaid. Additionally, it may be the only form of communication for some individuals. 

It helps people understand what you’re saying

If you are saying something important and are using serious facial expressions and direct gestures, it may help someone know to listen carefully. Additionally, smiling and nodding your head approvingly may communicate friendliness and agreeableness, which can help you make a positive first impression at job interviews or with a new friend. 

It can show confidence

Body language may convey confidence, which is often  considered attractive . You may portray confidence by keeping your shoulders back, your head up, and making eye contact with another person. Your body language could hide these emotions even if you feel scared or timid. 

It can help you make a positive first impression

It has been found that people may make their first  impression  of you in the first seven seconds after meeting you. You may not have been able to say anything verbally in those first seven seconds of meeting someone. For this reason, they might determine your trustworthiness through your body language. 

Learning to read nonverbal communication in others

When people are talking to you, you might try to look for nonverbal cues as you listen to see if their facial expressions communicate the same message as their words. It may help to pay attention to the position of their body as well as to their gestures. These nonverbal cues may help you understand their emotions or thoughts. 

Learning to read nonverbal communication may help you discern when another person may be trying to take advantage of you or lie. For example, they might have an off-putting posture while expressing an urge to connect. Trust your instincts. If something feels unsafe, it might be. 

How to improve nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is a skill you may learn and develop throughout your life. There are a few ways to improve this skill. 

Think about your physical reactions

Pay attention to your physical reaction as a result of your emotions. If you are stressed, you might not want to communicate that to the person with whom you’re talking. For example, if you’re at a job interview and aren’t feeling particularly happy, you might want to avoid slouching, holding your head down, or furrowing your brow. Instead, you could indicate confidence by:

Nodding your head

Sitting up straight

Smiling every so often

Laughing when possible 

Using hand gestures

Learning to recognize your natural physical responses may help you learn how to catch and correct them before communicating a message that you don’t want to communicate to others.

Get in touch with your emotions

Getting in touch with your emotions may help you control your nonverbal responses. It can be harder to choose what body language to use if you don’t know how you’re feeling, or feel that your body acts without your consent. 

The  basic emotions  include happiness, sadness, fear, and anger. Learning how to recognize the signs of these emotions can help you learn how to control your nonverbal communication.

Practice in front of a mirror

If you haven’t thought about what you’re communicating through your body language, you may be unaware of the signals you send to other people. You may find it helpful to practice meaningful conversations in front of a mirror so you can see what you’re communicating nonverbally.

If this exercise feels unnatural, you might try recording a conversation with a friend to see how you interact with them. If you sit still, fidget often, or appear to be zoning out, it may indicate a chance to change your nonverbal cues. 

You can practice working through situations that happen to you regularly to watch your responses. This exercise can help you look for areas you may need to tweak to improve your communication efforts.

Counseling to improve communication 

You may benefit from professional support if you’d like to learn more about nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is something that can be improved, both through self-reflection and the guidance of a counselor. Talking with a therapist may help you improve your verbal and nonverbal communication skills. They might also help you understand different types of nonverbal communication, which may help you discern how other people feel in certain situations.

If you are nervous about meeting a new counselor, consider online therapy. Online counseling allows you to meet from a safe location, such as your home. Additionally, depending on your preferences, you can meet with your therapist over video chat, phone call, or live chat. With virtual therapy through platforms like  BetterHelp , video sessions may allow a therapist to observe your nonverbal communication.  Many studies  have shown that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy.

How you communicate with others, verbally and nonverbally, can play a significant role in the relationships in your life. If you are interested in learning more about nonverbal communication, consider speaking with a licensed counselor. You don’t have to experience a mental health condition to speak with a therapist, as counseling can be utilized as a tool for self-improvement. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a licensed counselor who has experience helping people with nonverbal communication and other social skills. Take the first step toward improving your communication skills and contact BetterHelp today.

What is the meaning of nonverbal communication?

Nonverbal communication is the passage of information from one individual to another without using vocabulary or spoken language. One might use many methods to communicate non-verbally, such as through body posture, positions, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact. 

What are the four types of non-verbal communication?

While there are several types of non-verbal communication, the most typical are gestures (kinesics), head movements and posture, eye contact (oculesics), and facial expressions. Here are some examples of these nonverbal cues:

1. Gestures: Touching behaviors and movements like fidgeting with an object, wringing the hands, bouncing a knee, or twirling hair are all examples of "adaptive" gestures. "Emblems" like a shrug or "thumbs up" also fall under the category of gestures, as do what's referred to as "illustrators," behaviors like gesturing with the hands while talking. Illustrators are often involuntary and emerge naturally based on context. 

2. Head movements and posture: Nodding the head as a signal of understanding, shaking the head to indicate "no," or tilting the head to indicate interest are examples of how individuals may use head movements and posture to communicate.

3. Eye contact: Shifting our gaze between individuals when speaking in a group indicates directed engagement. Sustained eye contact without glancing away might signal we're listening intently, and avoiding eye contact sometimes communicates avoidance or disinterest in interaction. 

4. Facial expressions: Smiling, furrowing the brow, or wrinkling the nose are all examples of how we can use facial expressions to communicate non-verbally; however, they can be more nuanced. For example, one might furrow the brow in thought or disapproval. Wrinkling the nose might indicate disgust or amusement. 

What is an example of non-verbal communication?

Smiling broadly when we make eye contact with another individual might send a non-verbal message that you're open and interested in interaction. Standing with your hands on your hips and feet shoulder-width apart might communicate confidence. If someone leans in and sustains eye contact while you're speaking, it likely indicates they're interested in and concentrating on what you're saying. 

How do we communicate non-verbally?

People use various techniques to communicate non-verbally, some of which are intentional, while others are not. We can communicate non-verbally through touch, for example, a hug if we want to comfort someone or a light touch on the shoulder to get someone's attention. Sometimes, we communicate our feelings for someone through personal space, leaning our bodies toward people we're attracted to or away from people we're uncomfortable with.

People can use gestures with their hands, like waving or pointing, to convey a message. We can make eye contact to let someone know we're interested (or avoid eye contact to let them know we aren't) and use facial expressions to convey mood. 

What happens when someone goes non-verbal?

The term "non-verbal" can be used within the context of communicating in other ways besides language. Still, within a mental health context, it typically means a behavior in which an individual can't speak at all or can only communicate using a few words. "Going non-verbal" isn't a choice; it's often a symptom of a larger disorder such as autism, speech disorders like apraxia, or some types of aphasia, as seen in people with progressive neurological disease or head injury. 

In some cases, people who have experienced severe trauma can become non-verbal and disassociate with their surroundings. "Selective mutism" is a symptom for some people with severe anxiety disorders in which they are unable to speak in certain situations. Becoming non-verbal within such contexts may result from the brain's fight, flight or freeze response. People with certain mental health conditions might become non-verbal because they feel overwhelmed and "shut down" to outside stimuli. Non-verbality can result from fear but can also be an avoidance mechanism. 

Can non-verbal people still talk?

Some people with non-verbal or nonspeaking autism never develop the ability to use words to communicate, while others might build language skills with early intervention. Regardless, some people with non-verbal autism communicate in other ways, including writing , bodily movements, gestures, eye contact, and vocalizations. 

What causes someone to be non-verbal?

There are many potential reasons why someone might be nonverbal. One of the most common is developmental conditions like autism. Studies on what causes non-verbal autism are ongoing, but research does suggest that genetics or disruption in early brain development plays a significant role . Other causes for non-verbalization may include:

• Physical conditions like cerebral palsy or a speech disorder that make it difficult for an individual to produce speech
• Traumatic brain injury (TBI) or other neurological conditions that affect the areas of the brain responsible for speech and language. 
• Psychological conditions such as severe anxiety in which an individual may be able to speak but experiences significant distress when attempting to communicate verbally in some situations (also called selective mutism)
• Emotional trauma or abuse can cause a person to become non-verbal as a coping mechanism

How do you help someone who has gone nonverbal?

Each person's experience with non-verbality is unique, so the best way to help is to ask them what you should do in that situation (while they can still communicate between non-verbal "episodes"). Approach the situation with patience, empathy, and understanding. Here are some ways you might help someone who has gone non-verbal:

• Find alternative ways to communicate: Use gestures, facial expressions, and body language. You might also consider using visual aids, communication boards, writing, texting, or sign language to facilitate communication.  
• Create a supportive environment: Make sure the individual feels safe, comfortable, and supported in their surroundings. If possible, reduce distractions and noise that might be overwhelming for them.
• Encourage them to communicate non-verbally: If they're receptive, encourage them to communicate in whatever way feels comfortable for them, whether through drawing, writing, gesturing, or using a communication device. 
• Respect their boundaries: Don't pressure someone who has developed non-verbality to communicate in ways that make them uncomfortable. Allow them to communicate at their own pace in their own way. 
• Ask if they want you to talk: Sometimes, people who have gone non-verbal find it overwhelming or frustrating to listen to others speak. Find out if they prefer that you continue communicating or if they'd rather you be quiet and refrain from trying to engage them in any kind of communication during a non-verbal episode. 

Can anxiety make you go non-verbal?

Yes, in some instances, selective mutism is a symptom of severe anxiety. It usually starts in childhood but can persist into adulthood if left unaddressed. In such cases, individuals with selective mutism aren't refusing to or choosing not to speak; it is an involuntary condition in which they are unable to speak. People with selective mutism might speak comfortably with certain people without anyone else around but freeze when someone else enters the vicinity. 

How do you communicate with someone who won't talk?

Communicating with someone who is unwilling to talk can be challenging, but it is possible with patience and understanding. Here are a few tips for effectively getting through to someone who won't speak:

It can be highly frustrating when you're trying to get a point across, but someone won't respond or they "tell you what you want to hear" to avoid having the conversation. If you're feeling unheard and shut out, it may be tempting to become more intense or passionate to make yourself heard, but it often worsens things and has the opposite effect. Stay mindful of your tone of voice as well as the content of your speech.

Be honest about your feelings

Uncover the root of your feelings and share that with them, even if it is uncomfortable. For example, it may be hard to share that you're feeling overwhelmed and insecure when someone is stonewalling you. Still, it can show you're willing to communicate from a level of authenticity. 

Stay balanced

When someone doesn't talk about an issue that must be addressed and resolved, it can be easy to focus on what they do to contribute to the conflict instead of presenting a more balanced perspective. However, that may also increase negative emotions and the likelihood they'll shut down even further. For example, if you need help completing a task that requires the other person's cooperation, let them know you value their contributions in other areas, too. 

Focus on finding a solution

Shutting down can result from feeling overwhelmed when faced with challenges, creating a fight, flight or freeze response. In times of such stress, staying focused on solutions is challenging. Stay mindful of the end goal and redirect the conversation back to a place of resolution rather than conflict.  

• The Seven “Universal” Facial Expressions Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA, LCSW
• Body Language
• Relationships and Relations

Effective Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace (Examples)

Nonverbal communication sends cues to others using actions rather than words. People can express happiness, engagement, concern, gratitude, and confidence by responding nonverbally. This can include communication using hand gestures, eye contact, body language, appearance, facial expressions, and tone of voice. In the workplace, nonverbal communication plays a vital role in how we interact with our colleagues, clients, and customers.

For example, a smile can show that you are friendly and approachable, while avoiding eye contact can indicate that you are disinterested or uncomfortable.

Creating Positive Workplace Culture through Nonverbal Communication

Your nonverbal communication can play a significant role in shaping the culture of your workplace. When you communicate positively with your body language, you can help create a more welcoming and supportive environment for your colleagues. This can lead to increased job satisfaction, higher levels of engagement, and better overall performance.

Some ways to create a positive workplace culture through nonverbal communication include:

• Maintaining eye contact during conversations
• Smiling and using friendly facial expressions
• Using open body language, such as uncrossed arms or legs
• Using appropriate tone of voice to convey your message

Nonverbal Communication and Employee Morale

Nonverbal communication can also have a significant impact on employee morale. When you communicate positively with your body language, you can help boost your colleagues’ confidence and sense of belonging in the workplace. This can lead to increased motivation, improved job satisfaction, and better overall performance.

Some ways to use nonverbal communication to improve employee morale include:

• Offering a friendly greeting when you see your colleagues
• Using positive body language during meetings and conversations
• Offering nonverbal cues of support and encouragement when your colleagues are struggling

Types of Nonverbal Communication

Facial expressions.

Facial expressions are a key form of nonverbal communication. They can convey a wide range of emotions, including happiness, sadness, anger, and surprise. In the workplace, it’s important to be aware of your facial expressions, as they can have a significant impact on how others perceive you.

For example, smiling can help to create a positive and friendly atmosphere, while frowning can make you appear unapproachable.

Body Language

Body language refers to the way you use your body to communicate. This can include your posture, gestures, and movements. In the workplace, good body language can help you to appear confident and engaged.

For example, standing up straight can help you to appear more confident, while leaning forward can show that you are interested in what the other person is saying.

Gestures are another important form of nonverbal communication. They can be used to emphasize a point, express agreement or disagreement, or to indicate that you are listening.

However, it’s important to be aware of cultural differences when it comes to gestures, as what may be acceptable in one culture may not be in another.

Posture refers to the way you hold your body. Good posture can help you to appear more confident and engaged, while poor posture can make you appear uninterested or disengaged.

Remember to be aware of your own nonverbal cues, and to be sensitive to cultural differences.

Examples of Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace

Eye contact and active listening.

When communicating with your colleagues, making proper eye contact and actively listening are two important nonverbal cues. Eye contact can show that you are engaged in the conversation and that you value what the other person is saying. Active listening means that you are not just hearing the words, but also paying attention to the tone and body language of the speaker. (Learn more: Active Listening: Techniques, Examples, Tips)

Here are a few tips to improve your eye contact and active listening skills:

• Make eye contact with the person speaking, but don’t stare.
• Nod your head or use other nonverbal cues to show that you are listening.
• Avoid distractions, such as checking your phone or looking around the room.
• Repeat back what the person said to ensure that you understood correctly.

Personal Space and Touch

Personal space and touch are also important nonverbal cues in the workplace. Personal space refers to the physical distance between you and the other person, while touch refers to any physical contact, such as a handshake or pat on the back. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

• Respect other people’s personal space and avoid standing too close.
• Be mindful of cultural differences when it comes to touch.
• Always ask for permission before touching someone, especially if you are not familiar with them.

Tone of Voice and Vocal Cues

Your tone of voice and other vocal cues, such as pitch and volume, can also convey nonverbal messages in the workplace. For example, speaking in a monotone voice can make you sound disinterested or bored, while speaking too loudly can be perceived as aggressive. Here are a few tips to improve your tone of voice and vocal cues:

• Speak clearly and at a moderate pace.
• Use inflection to emphasize important points.
• Avoid using a tone that is too high or too low.
• Pay attention to your breathing and try to speak from your diaphragm.

Barriers to Effective Nonverbal Communication

Despite the many benefits of nonverbal communication in the workplace, there are also several barriers that can prevent it from being effective. Here are some of the most common barriers to effective nonverbal communication:

Cultural Differences

Cultural differences can be a significant barrier to effective nonverbal communication in the workplace. Different cultures have different norms and expectations when it comes to nonverbal communication, and what may be acceptable in one culture may be seen as inappropriate or even offensive in another. For example, in some cultures, direct eye contact is a sign of respect and attentiveness, while in others, it may be seen as aggressive or confrontational.

Gender Differences

Gender differences can also be a barrier to effective nonverbal communication. Men and women often have different nonverbal communication styles, and what may be effective for one gender may not be as effective for the other. For example, women tend to use more facial expressions and gestures than men, while men tend to use more direct eye contact and body language.

Personal Bias

Personal bias can also be a significant barrier to effective nonverbal communication. Our own personal biases and beliefs can influence how we interpret nonverbal cues, and we may misinterpret or overlook important nonverbal signals because of these biases. For example, if you have a personal bias against someone, you may interpret their nonverbal cues as being negative or hostile, even if they are not.

While nonverbal communication can be a powerful tool in the workplace, there are also several barriers that can prevent it from being effective. This is why it is important to work on developing various aspects of your emotional intelligence: Emotional Intelligence (EQ) [Examples, Tips] .

• The Roadmap to Effective External Communication and Stakeholder Relations
• How to Manage Conflict in the Workplace [with Examples]
• Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in Leadership [Examples, Tips]
• What Is Active Listening? (Examples, How-to’s, Best Practices)
• How to Cultivate Self-Awareness (10 Tips)
• Upward Communication & Downward Communication (Full Guide)

• Search Search Please fill out this field.
• Career Planning
• Skills Development

Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace

These cues are critical in connecting with your audience

Nonverbal Facial Expression

The use of body language.

• Eye Contact as Communication

Hand Gestures

• Tone and Paralinguistic Aspects

Touch as a Communication Tool

• Nonverbal Physical Distance

Other Ways You Speak Nonverbally

How your office décor speaks.

• Mismatched Communication
• When Communication Matters

Digital Vision / Getty Images

Consider how body language—posture, eye contact and more—can augment or undermine your message. Used in conjunction with verbal communication, these tools can help punctuate, reinforce, emphasize, and enliven your message. Nonverbal cues help create shared meaning in any communication. How you communicate nonverbally can mean one thing to you and convey a completely different message to your audience.

As an example, if an employee has a habit of placing their briefcase and water bottle on both sides of them, on top of the meeting table, it can come off as aggressive behavior. The employee may be getting comfortable but their boss or others perceived her presence as an invasion of space. Such nonverbal interactions can be harmful to relationships and make others uncomfortable.

Human faces are incredibly expressive. Emotions such as anger, happiness, hurt, disgust, confusion, and boredom are all easily expressed with facial movements using the eyes, eyebrows, mouth, and other features.

The way a person sits; stands; moves their arms, hands, and feet as well as other subtle movements can convey many meanings. Posture or how you carry yourself including bearing, stance, rigidity, uprightness can show your emotions and self-confidence. You convey a message via your posture and positioning whether you are leaning back comfortably, sitting rigidly on the edge of your seat, or leaning back with your eyes closed.

Eye Contact as Nonverbal Communication

People often attribute trustworthiness to people who speak while maintaining good eye contact and vice versa. Eye contact is also used to convey interest and emotions, and to promote rapport with the receiver of the message. It is also used to feign interest, mislead, and fake interest. Some experienced liars will use direct eye contact to sell an untruth to their listeners. Also, you should be mindful of cultural differences in the use of eye contact during conversations.

Hand gestures are especially rich conveyors of communication. They punctuate the spoken word and add meaning. Less conscious gestures such as scratching your nose, stroking your hair, tugging on your clothes, placing your hands on your hips, and waving can communicate messages inadvertently.

Tone and Other Paralinguistic Aspects

Paralinguistics is vocal communication separate from the actual words used. It includes such factors as voice inflection, pitch, pacing, pauses, and loudness. This is critical for the telephone as well as in-person interaction.

Touch is a powerful method of nonverbal communication. A pat on the back, a hug, a person reaching out to touch your hand in sympathy communicate with or without any accompanying words. People vary in their comfort level with touch. Also, cultural customs must be taken into consideration as well.

Nonverbal Physical Distance Communication

Just as your use of physical space in your office telegraphs a message to the receiver, so does the space that you surround yourself with when working or communicating. Most North Americans prefer about 18 inches of space around their physical person. Anything closer is viewed as too close and, especially in a work setting, too intimate.

In one of the funniest failed communication efforts ever viewed, a student from another country was trying to explain something to the American university’s registrar. He wanted to get closer to her so that he could help her understand why he was right, a practice that worked well in his country of origin.

She wanted her 18 inches of space and was determined to maintain it. So they were literally chasing each other across the office. Every time he moved closer, she moved away. Not every occurrence speaks this loudly, but a person's protection of that private space is swift.

Clothing, briefcases, glasses, and even pens, pencils, or signs can send nonverbal messages. The type of clothing and your appearance send powerful nonverbal messages. Some of the messages are intentional as when the employee wears a shirt with their favorite athletic team or the employee who wears a conservative, business-like suit every day.

People may send other messages unintentionally without realizing the impact of their message on the receiver. The wearer of the conservative suits may appear unapproachable when that was not their intention. Perhaps the person is more comfortable dress in a business suit or wanted to appear ready for business, trustworthy, and dependable. The wearer of a low-cut blouse may or may not want coworkers to find her sexy—which in the workplace brings a whole new group of problems. At best, however, the employee sends a mixed message.

At work, how you decorate your office also sends messages to employees who enter. Where you place your desk, the distance between your seat and those of visitors, whether furniture separates you from coworkers all speak powerfully.

Mismatched Nonverbal and Verbal Communication

When a mismatch exists between what you are stating verbally and the nonverbal signals you are sending, nonverbal communication resonates more with your audience.

For example, when an employee tells you that everything is fine, but everything about his tone, facial expression, body posture, and failure to smile don't match, you don’t believe the words.

Consequently, if your nonverbal communication is going to serve you well as a tool to improve your overall communication, you need to develop an awareness about matching your nonverbal communication to your words.

When Nonverbal Communication Matters

For good or ill, nonverbal communication can help you or haunt you. Most significantly, recognize the power it has to affect the outcomes of your communication. Whether you are speaking to the whole company at a company meeting, chatting with a coworker on the phone, or talking to your boss in her office, nonverbal communication affects the interaction.

Nonverbal communication is also powerful in your day-to-day meetings with coworkers and your passing interactions in the halls of your workplace. It's significant at your lunches either in or outside of your organization.

Finally, recognize the power of your nonverbal communication with your company stakeholders, your clients or customers, your vendors, and your professional associates. Matching your nonverbal communication to your spoken words will help them trust you.

You can practice and manage your nonverbal communication to convey your messages more effectively. Or, you can allow your nonverbal communication to make you appear ineffective, a sloppy communicator, or an employee whose mixed messages are not trustworthy. Why not use nonverbal communication to your advantage? It's a win for all.

• Skip to primary navigation
• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar

• About UCPath
• About University of California
• Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
• How to Apply
• Why Work Here
• Find Your Team
• Employee Services
• Human Resources (Workforce Administration)
• Information Technology
• Product Management
• News & Resources

Why Nonverbal Communication Matters in the Workplace

At work, you may find yourself communicating with colleagues throughout the day without saying a word. Think about how your body language, facial expressions, posture and eye contact can enhance and reinforce your workplace conversations.

Whether you are  leading a presentation at a meeting, chatting with co-workers in the hallway, or talking to your boss in his or her office, nonverbal communication affects the interaction. Nonverbal communication also plays a role in social settings like lunches, office parties and after-work activities.

In fact, approximately 93 percent of communication is nonverbal, while words account for only 7 percent. Tone of voice makes up 38 percent of communication, and body language and facial expressions constitute 55 percent, according to Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist at University of California, Los A ngeles .

Types of Effective Nonverbal Communication at Work

At its core, good verbal communication skills allow employers to share information across the company, and help them reinforce relationships with their colleagues. However, the ability to communicate without words could influence how employees perform.

Successful interactions at work depend on both managers and their team’s ability to use and read body language. According to career and small business website Chron , a manager communicating positive nonverbal cues when speaking with employees can increase employee morale, as well as their job performance.

Forbes.com chronicles several nonverbal cues that convey confidence in the workplace:

• Strong eye contact : This is your primary tool for establishing nonverbal connections with others, as eye contact conveys interest, involvement and emotions. People often attribute trustworthiness to those who speak while maintaining eye contact.
• Appropriate facial expressions: You can show you’re paying attention to your colleagues while listening by holding a slight smile, nodding occasionally and maintaining good eye contact.
• A confident handshake : In business, the handshake is the only appropriate expression of touch, so it is imperative to have a good one.
• Purposeful gestures : Hand gestures punctuate the spoken word and add meaning . Avoid distracting mannerisms such as finger-pointing, fidgeting, tapping, playing with hair, wringing hands and twisting a ring.
• Commanding posture and presence: This is reflected in the way a person sits and stands, as it creates a dynamic presence and an attitude of leadership. Employees convey messages by their sitting posture, whether they are leaning back comfortably in their chair or sitting rigidly on the edge of their seat. When standing, be sure to stand up tall and straight to send a message of self-assurance, authority and energy.

Pacing Workplace Conversations

The ability to communicate well seeps into every aspect of business operations, but sometimes communication gaps may arise between employers and employees. Leaders should be trained in nonverbal communication to eliminate this gap that could be a barrier to effective discussions.

The tempo of a conversation is another aspect of nonverbal communication, especially among a multicultural workforce, reported the Society of Human Resource Management .

Here’s how managers can bridge the nonverbal communications gap in a professional setting:

• Be patient with people who need longer silence gaps.
• During meetings, consider how your body language, tone of voice and choice of wardrobe reflect your nonverbal communication.
• Consider how your attitude and approach to job responsibilities or colleagues affect your ability to work with others.
• Withhold judgment if people appear to be taking over the conversation.
• Observe and mirror people’s communication style.

Employees should also be trained on nonverbal communications tactics for face-to-face interactions, telephone conversations and even correspondence over the internet. Email and chat windows have their own nonverbal cues that can be learned and mastered over time.

If you’re ready to build strong rapport with your colleagues , then explore  current open career opportunities   at the UCPath Center. 

Want to create or adapt books like this? Learn more about how Pressbooks supports open publishing practices.

11.1 Principles of Nonverbal Communication

Learning objectives.

• Demonstrate nonverbal communication and describe its role in the communication process.
• Understand and explain the principles of nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal Communication Is Fluid

Chances are you have had many experiences where words were misunderstood, or where the meaning of words was unclear. When it comes to nonverbal communication, meaning is even harder to discern. We can sometimes tell what people are communicating through their nonverbal communication, but there is no foolproof “dictionary” of how to interpret nonverbal messages. Nonverbal communication is the process of conveying a message without the use of words. It can include gestures and facial expressions, tone of voice, timing, posture and where you stand as you communicate. It can help or hinder the clear understanding of your message, but it doesn’t reveal (and can even mask) what you are really thinking. Nonverbal communication is far from simple, and its complexity makes our study and our understanding a worthy but challenging goal.

Where does a wink start and a nod end? Nonverbal communication involves the entire body, the space it occupies and dominates, the time it interacts, and not only what is not said, but how it is not said. Confused? Try to focus on just one element of nonverbal communication and it will soon get lost among all the other stimuli. Let’s consider eye contact. What does it mean by itself without context, chin position, or eyebrows to flag interest or signal a threat? Nonverbal action flows almost seamlessly from one to the next, making it a challenge to interpret one element, or even a series of elements.

We perceive time as linear, flowing along in a straight line. We did one task, we’re doing another task now, and we are planning on doing something else all the time. Sometimes we place more emphasis on the future, or the past, forgetting that we are actually living in the present moment whether we focus on “the now” or not. Nonverbal communication is always in motion, as long as we are, and is never the same twice.

Nonverbal communication is irreversible. In written communication, you can write a clarification, correction, or retraction. While it never makes the original statement go completely away, it does allow for correction. Unlike written communication, oral communication may allow “do-overs” on the spot: you can explain and restate, hoping to clarify your point. You can also dig the hole you are in just a little bit deeper. The old sayings “when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging” and “open mouth, insert foot” can sometimes apply to oral communications. We’ve all said something we would give anything to take back, but we all know we can’t. Oral communication, like written communication, allows for some correction, but it still doesn’t erase the original message or its impact. Nonverbal communication takes it one step further. You can’t separate one nonverbal action from the context of all the other verbal and nonverbal communication acts, and you can’t take it back.

In a speech, nonverbal communication is continuous in the sense that it is always occurring, and because it is so fluid, it can be hard to determine where one nonverbal message starts and another stops. Words can be easily identified and isolated, but if we try to single out a speaker’s gestures, smile, or stance without looking at how they all come together in context, we may miss the point and draw the wrong conclusion. You need to be conscious of this aspect of public speaking because, to quote another old saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” This is true in the sense that people often pay more attention to your nonverbal expressions more than your words. As a result, nonverbal communication is a powerful way to contribute to (or detract from) your success in communicating your message to the audience.

Nonverbal Communication Is Fast

Let’s pretend you are at your computer at work. You see that an e-mail has arrived, but you are right in the middle of tallying a spreadsheet whose numbers just don’t add up. You see that the e-mail is from a coworker and you click on it. The subject line reads “pink slips.” You could interpret this to mean a suggestion for a Halloween costume, or a challenge to race for each other’s car ownership, but in the context of the workplace you may assume it means layoffs.

Your emotional response is immediate. If the author of the e-mail could see your face, they would know that your response was one of disbelief and frustration, even anger, all via your nonverbal communication. Yes, when a tree falls in the forest it makes a sound, even if no one is there to hear it. In the same way, you express yourself via nonverbal communication all the time without much conscious thought at all. You may think about how to share the news with your partner, and try to display a smile and a sense of calm when you feel like anything but smiling.

Nonverbal communication gives our thoughts and feelings away before we are even aware of what we are thinking or how we feel. People may see and hear more than you ever anticipated. Your nonverbal communication includes both intentional and unintentional messages, but since it all happens so fast, the unintentional ones can contradict what you know you are supposed to say or how you are supposed to react.

Nonverbal Communication Can Add to or Replace Verbal Communication

People tend to pay more attention to how you say it than what you actually say. In presenting a speech this is particularly true. We communicate nonverbally more than we engage in verbal communication, and often use nonverbal expressions to add to, or even replace, words we might otherwise say. We use a nonverbal gesture called an illustrator to communicate our message effectively and reinforce our point. Your coworker Andrew may ask you, “Barney’s Bar after work?” as he walks by, and you simply nod and say “yeah.” Andrew may respond with a nonverbal gesture, called an emblem , by signaling with the “OK” sign as he walks away.

In addition to illustrators or emblematic nonverbal communication, we also use regulators. “ Regulators are nonverbal messages which control, maintain or discourage interaction” (McLean, S., 2003). For example, if someone is telling you a message that is confusing or upsetting, you may hold up your hand, a commonly recognized regulator that asks the speaker to stop talking.

Let’s say you are in a meeting presenting a speech that introduces your company’s latest product. If your audience members nod their heads in agreement on important points and maintain good eye contact, it is a good sign. Nonverbally, they are using regulators encouraging you to continue with your presentation. In contrast, if they look away, tap their feet, and begin drawing in the margins of their notebook, these are regulators suggesting that you better think of a way to regain their interest or else wrap up your presentation quickly.

“ Affect displays are nonverbal communication that express emotions or feelings” (McLean, S., 2003). An affect display that might accompany holding up your hand for silence would be to frown and shake your head from side to side. When you and Andrew are at Barney’s Bar, smiling and waving at coworkers who arrive lets them know where you are seated and welcomes them.

Figure 11.1

Combing your hair would be an example of a purposeful action, unlike a self-adaptive behavior.

Matthew – I Hate Bad Hair Days – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

“ Adaptors are displays of nonverbal communication that help you adapt to your environment and each context, helping you feel comfortable and secure” (McLean, S., 2003). A self-adaptor involves you meeting your need for security, by playing with your hair for example, by adapting something about yourself in way for which it was not designed or for no apparent purpose. Combing your hair would be an example of a purposeful action, unlike a self-adaptive behavior. An object-adaptor involves the use of an object in a way for which it was not designed. You may see audience members tapping their pencils, chewing on them, or playing with them, while ignoring you and your presentation. Or perhaps someone pulls out a comb and repeatedly rubs a thumbnail against the comb’s teeth. They are using the comb or the pencil in a way other than its intended design, an object-adaptor that communicates a lack of engagement or enthusiasm in your speech.

Intentional nonverbal communication can complement, repeat, replace, mask, or contradict what we say. When Andrew invited you to Barney’s, you said, “Yeah” and nodded, complementing and repeating the message. You could have simply nodded, effectively replacing the “yes” with a nonverbal response. You could also have decided to say no, but did not want to hurt Andrew’s feelings. Shaking your head “no” while pointing to your watch, communicating work and time issues, may mask your real thoughts or feelings. Masking involves the substitution of appropriate nonverbal communication for nonverbal communication you may want to display (McLean, S., 2003). Finally, nonverbal messages that conflict with verbal communication can confuse the listener. Table 11.1 “Some Nonverbal Expressions” summarizes these concepts.

Table 11.1 Some Nonverbal Expressions

Nonverbal Communication Is Universal

Consider the many contexts in which interaction occurs during your day. In the morning, at work, after work, at home, with friends, with family, and our list could go on for quite awhile. Now consider the differences in nonverbal communication across these many contexts. When you are at work, do you jump up and down and say whatever you want? Why or why not? You may not engage in that behavior because of expectations at work, but the fact remains that from the moment you wake until you sleep, you are surrounded by nonverbal communication.

If you had been born in a different country, to different parents, and perhaps as a member of the opposite sex, your whole world would be quite different. Yet nonverbal communication would remain a universal constant. It may not look the same, or get used in the same way, but it will still be nonverbal communication in its many functions and displays.

Nonverbal Communication Is Confusing and Contextual

Nonverbal communication can be confusing. We need contextual clues to help us understand, or begin to understand, what a movement, gesture, or lack of display means. Then we have to figure it all out based on our prior knowledge (or lack thereof) of the person and hope to get it right. Talk about a challenge. Nonverbal communication is everywhere, and we all use it, but that doesn’t make it simple or independent of when, where, why, or how we communicate.

Nonverbal Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional

Suppose you are working as a salesclerk in a retail store, and a customer communicated frustration to you. Would the nonverbal aspects of your response be intentional or unintentional? Your job is to be pleasant and courteous at all times, yet your wrinkled eyebrows or wide eyes may have been unintentional. They clearly communicate your negative feelings at that moment. Restating your wish to be helpful and displaying nonverbal gestures may communicate “no big deal,” but the stress of the moment is still “written” on your face.

Can we tell when people are intentionally or unintentionally communicating nonverbally? Ask ten people this question and compare their responses. You may be surprised. It is clearly a challenge to understand nonverbal communication in action. We often assign intentional motives to nonverbal communication when in fact their display is unintentional, and often hard to interpret.

Nonverbal Messages Communicate Feelings and Attitudes

Steven Beebe, Susan Beebe, and Mark Redmond offer us three additional principals of interpersonal nonverbal communication that serve our discussion. One is that you often react faster than you think. Your nonverbal responses communicate your initial reaction before you can process it through language or formulate an appropriate response. If your appropriate, spoken response doesn’t match your nonverbal reaction, you may give away your true feelings and attitudes (Beebe, S., Beebe, S., and Redmond, M., 2002).

Albert Mehrabian asserts that we rarely communicate emotional messages through the spoken word. According to Mehrabian, 93 percent of the time we communicate our emotions nonverbally, with at least 55 percent associated with facial gestures. Vocal cues, body position and movement, and normative space between speaker and receiver can also be clues to feelings and attitudes (Mehrabian, A., 1972).

Is your first emotional response always an accurate and true representation of your feelings and attitudes, or does your emotional response change across time? We are all changing all the time, and sometimes a moment of frustration or a flash of anger can signal to the receiver a feeling or emotion that existed for a moment, but has since passed. Their response to your communication will be based on that perception, even though you might already be over the issue. This is where the spoken word serves us well. You may need to articulate clearly that you were frustrated, but not anymore. The words spoken out loud can serve to clarify and invite additional discussion.

We Believe Nonverbal Communication More than Verbal

Building on the example of responding to a situation with facial gestures associated with frustration before you even have time to think of an appropriate verbal response, let’s ask the question: what would you believe, someone’s actions or their words? According to William Seiler and Melissa Beall, most people tend to believe the nonverbal message over the verbal message. People will often answer that “actions speak louder than words” and place a disproportionate emphasis on the nonverbal response (Seiler W., and Beall, M., 2000). Humans aren’t logical all the time, and they do experience feelings and attitudes that change. Still, we place more confidence in nonverbal communication, particularly when it comes to lying behaviors. According to Miron Zuckerman, Bella DePaulo, and Robert Rosenthal, there are several behaviors people often display when they are being deceptive (Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B., and Rosenthal, R., 1981):

• Reduction in eye contact while engaged in a conversation
• Awkward pauses in conversation
• Higher pitch in voice
• Deliberate pronunciation and articulation of words
• Increased delay in response time to a question
• Increased body movements like changes in posture
• Decreased smiling
• Decreased rate of speech

If you notice one of more of the behaviors, you may want to take a closer look. Over time we learn people’s patterns of speech and behavior, and form a set of expectations. Variation from their established patterns, combined with the clues above, can serve to alert you to the possibility that something deserves closer attention.

Our nonverbal responses have a connection to our physiological responses to stress, such as heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductivity. Polygraph machines (popularly referred to as “lie detectors”) focus on these physiological responses and demonstrate anomalies, or variations. While movies and TV crime shows may make polygraphs look foolproof, there is significant debate about whether they measure dishonesty with any degree of accuracy.

Can you train yourself to detect lies? It is unlikely. Our purpose in studying nonverbal communication is not to uncover dishonesty in others, but rather to help you understand how to use the nonverbal aspects of communication to increase understanding.

Nonverbal Communication Is Key in the Speaker/Audience Relationship

When we first see each other, before anyone says a word, we are already sizing each other up. Within the first few seconds we have made judgments about each other based on what we wear, our physical characteristics, even our posture. Are these judgments accurate? That is hard to know without context, but we can say that nonverbal communication certainly affects first impressions, for better or worse. When a speaker and the audience first meet, nonverbal communication in terms of space, dress, and even personal characteristics can contribute to assumed expectations. The expectations might not be accurate or even fair, but it is important to recognize that they will be present. There is truth in the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Since beginnings are fragile times, your attention to aspects you can control, both verbal and nonverbal, will help contribute to the first step of forming a relationship with your audience. Your eye contact with audience members, use of space, and degree of formality will continue to contribute to that relationship.

As a speaker, your nonverbal communication is part of the message and can contribute to, or detract from, your overall goals. By being aware of them, and practicing with a live audience, you can learn to be more aware and in control.

Key Takeaways

• Nonverbal communication is the process of conveying a message without the use of words; it relates to the dynamic process of communication, the perception process and listening, and verbal communication.
• Nonverbal communication is fluid and fast, universal, confusing, and contextual. It can add to or replace verbal communication and can be intentional or unintentional.
• Nonverbal communication communicates feelings and attitudes, and people tend to believe nonverbal messages more than verbal ones.
• Does it limit or enhance our understanding of communication to view nonverbal communication as that which is not verbal communication? Explain your answer and discuss with the class.
• Choose a television personality you admire. What do you like about this person? Watch several minutes of this person with the sound turned off, and make notes of the nonverbal expressions you observe. Turn the sound back on and make notes of their tone of voice, timing, and other audible expressions. Discuss your results with a classmate.
• Find a program that focuses on microexpressions and write a brief summary of how they play a role in the program. Share and compare with classmates.
• Create a survey that addresses the issue of which people trust more, nonverbal or verbal messages. Ask an equal number of men and women and compare your results with those of your classmates.
• Search for information on the reliability and admissibility of results from polygraph (lie detector) tests. Share your findings with classmates.
• See how long and how much you can get done during the day without the use of verbal messages.

Beebe, S. [Steven], Beebe, S. [Susan], & Redmond, M. (2002). Interpersonal communication relating to others (3rd ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

McLean, S. (2003). The basics of speech communication . Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication . Chicago, IL: Aldine Atherton.

Seiler, W., & Beall, M. (2000). Communication: Making connections (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B., & Rosenthal, R. (1981). Verbal and nonverbal communication of deception. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 14 , 1–59.

Business Communication for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Nonverbal Communication: Types, Importance And Examples

Have you seen The Dying Swan, the signature solo dance performance by legendary ballerina Anna Pavlova? It expresses the pain…

Have you seen The Dying Swan , the signature solo dance performance by legendary ballerina Anna Pavlova? It expresses the pain and struggle of a dying swan trying to survive. As the graceful Pavlova trembles and finally collapses under the weight of melancholy, the passion and the beauty of the performance tugs at the heartstrings of the audience.

Have you heard about miming? It is the theatrical technique of expressing an idea or mood of a character entirely by gesture and body movements. Marcel Marceau, the celebrated French actor and mime artist, described mime as the ‘Art of Silence’.

At the heart of the powerful performances by Pavlova and Marceau lies strong and aesthetic nonverbal communication.

What Is Nonverbal Communication?

When you don’t want to take part in a particular conversation, you may look the other way. Without uttering a word, you convey, “I am not interested.”

Nonverbal communication is conveying your message through gestures, postures, signals, or clues. In our personal and professional lives, we give and receive countless nonverbal clues every day.

Types Of Nonverbal Communication

Let us explore the types of nonverbal communication.

Body language:

Body language is an effective means of nonverbal communication. You can tell a lot about a person from their facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, and use of space. One of the best-known examples is actor Amitabh Bachchan whose effective body language gave an aura to his angry young man persona in his early films.

Learn to read the body language of people around you by noticing their postures and gestures.

Eye contact:

Eyes are an effective communication tool to convey messages without saying a word. Eye contact says a lot about a person. For instance, those who avoid eye contact are often perceived as shy or less confident.

It is said that actor Irrfan Khan spoke a thousand words with his eyes. “I’m just beguiled by Irrfan’s magic eyes,” Hollywood star Tom Hanks once said.

Facial expressions:

From a lip movement to the raising of eyebrows and shifting of the glance, our facial expressions convey a wide range of emotions.  Some facial expressions are very powerful. For instance, a smile makes any situation easier to handle.

A gesture is another form of nonverbal communication. Different gestures could mean different things in different situations.

Have you seen people communicate using sign language? Every hand gesture means something. Even during regular conversations, most of us knowingly or unknowingly use certain gestures such as nodding or giving a thumbs-up or high five.

Para-linguistics:

Para-linguistics means vocal communication through the tone, pitch, and volume of your voice. Remember the community tennis matches held on the weekends? The way your sister came shouting, you knew she had won the match.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said,” said Peter Drucker, a well-known management consultant.  

Examples Of Nonverbal Communication

Let’s look at an example of nonverbal communication.

Hitesh works in an ad agency. He is always given the first preference for final presentations, and his colleagues wonder why. The reason is that his manager knows that in addition to content creation, Hitesh has excellent nonverbal communication skills. His body language exudes confidence and his habit of making eye contact and his gestures express trust and clarity.

Teachers, actors, lawyers, TV anchors, journalists, or salespeople, who communicate with their students, audience or customers regularly, need to have excellent nonverbal communication.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said,” said Peter Drucker, a well-known management consultant. This pretty much sums up the importance of nonverbal communication.

It is said that 80% of communication happens nonverbally. We express our innermost emotions such as love, hope, pleasure, anger, sadness and anxiety without words.

Empathetic nonverbal communication is the secret ingredient of happy relationships and has the power to clear misunderstandings.

Importance Of Nonverbal Communication

Here’s how nonverbal communication helps. It:

Adds value to verbal communication

Helps overcome cultural barriers

Helps communicate with the nonliterate or people with a hearing disability

Increases workplace efficiency

Reinforces trust and credibility

You will be an effective communicator if you pay attention to yours as well as other people’s body language.

Harappa Education’s Speaking Effectively course is thoughtfully designed to help you use nonverbal cues to speak powerfully. The course will also tell you about Aristotle’s Appeals—the three appeals of reasoning, credibility, and emotion—besides giving insights through other interesting facts and examples. ( https://bettysco.com/ )

Explore blogs on topics such as effective communication , barriers of communication, types of verbal communication , forms of communication , and verbal and nonverbal communication in our Harappa Diaries section to make your world of work better.

Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

Improving emotional intelligence (eq), conflict resolution skills, anger management: help for anger issues, managing conflict with humor.

• The 5 Love Languages and Their Influence on Relationships
• Gaslighting: Turning Off the Gas on Your Gaslighter
• Online Therapy: Is it Right for You?
• Mental Health
• Health & Wellness
• Children & Family
• Relationships

Are you or someone you know in crisis?

• Bipolar Disorder
• Eating Disorders
• Grief & Loss
• Personality Disorders
• PTSD & Trauma
• Schizophrenia
• Therapy & Medication
• Exercise & Fitness
• Healthy Eating
• Well-being & Happiness
• Weight Loss
• Work & Career
• Illness & Disability
• Heart Health
• Learning Disabilities
• Family Caregiving
• Teen Issues
• Communication
• Emotional Intelligence
• Love & Friendship
• Domestic Abuse
• Healthy Aging
• Alzheimer’s Disease & Dementia
• End of Life
• Meet Our Team

What is effective communication?

Tips for improving your communication skills.

• Tip 1: Understand the barriers to effective communication

Tip 2: Become an engaged listener

Tip 3: pay attention to nonverbal signals, tip 4: keep stress in check, tip 5: assert yourself, effective communication improving your interpersonal skills.

Want better communication skills? These tips will help you avoid misunderstandings, grasp the real meaning of what’s being communicated, and greatly improve your work and personal relationships.

Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood.

Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive. But all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems in your home, school, and work relationships.

But by learning effective communication skills, you can deepen your connections to others, build greater trust and respect, and improve teamwork, problem solving, and your overall social and emotional health

Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your romantic partner, kids, boss, or coworkers, learning the following communication skills can help strengthen your interpersonal relationships.

Tip 1: Understand what’s stopping you from communicating well

Common barriers to effective communication include:

Stress and out-of-control emotion.  When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, you can learn how to quickly calm down before continuing a conversation.

Lack of focus.  You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re checking your phone , planning what you’re going to say next, or daydreaming, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and stay focused.

Inconsistent body language.  Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Negative body language.  If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you might use negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree with, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively and not put the other person on the defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.

When communicating with others, we often focus on what we should say. However, effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey.

There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that  lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and making the person feel understood.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for becoming an engaged listener

Focus fully on the speaker.  You can’t listen in an engaged way if you’re  constantly checking your phone or thinking about something else. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to pick up the subtle nuances and important nonverbal cues in a conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

Favor your right ear.  As strange as it sounds, the left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for both speech comprehension and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help you better detect the emotional nuances of what someone is saying.

Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns.  By saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.

Show your interest in what’s being said.  Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”

Try to set aside judgment.  In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand them. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can often lead to an unlikely connection with someone.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)]

Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” or “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask questions to clarify certain points: “What do you mean when you say…” or “Is this what you mean?”

Hear the emotion behind the words . It’s the higher frequencies of human speech that impart emotion. You can become more attuned to these frequencies—and thus better able to understand what others are really saying—by exercising the tiny muscles of your middle ear (the smallest in the body). You can do this by singing, playing a wind instrument, or listening to certain types of high-frequency music (a Mozart symphony or violin concerto, for example, rather than low-frequency rock, pop, or hip-hop).

The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can. Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

• You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
• You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.

Improve how you  read nonverbal communication

Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.

Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact go, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Improve how you  deliver nonverbal communication

Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words rather than contradict them. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will feel confused or suspect that you’re being dishonest. For example, sitting with your arms crossed and shaking your head doesn’t match words telling the other person that you agree with what they’re saying.

Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.

Avoid negative body language. Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings, even when you’re not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you’ll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure.

Communicate effectively by staying calm under pressure

Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Ask for a question to be repeated or for clarification of a statement before you respond.

Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make you seem more in control than rushing your response.

Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if you should make a second point.

Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.

Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When a conversation starts to get heated, you need something quick and immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, you can safely take stock of any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately.

Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or stomach tight? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you “forgetting” to breathe?

Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.

Bring your senses to the rescue. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, smell—or movement. For example, you could pop a peppermint in your mouth, squeeze a stress ball in your pocket, take a few deep breaths, clench and relax your muscles, or simply recall a soothing, sensory-rich image. Each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find a coping mechanism that is soothing to you.

[Read: Quick Stress Relief]

Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to relieve stress when communicating . When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or an amusing story.

Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more about an issue than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good investment for the future of the relationship.

Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can calm down. Go for a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Find your space for healing and growth

Regain is an online couples counseling service. Whether you’re facing problems with communication, intimacy, or trust, Regain’s licensed, accredited therapists can help you improve your relationship.

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost your self-esteem and decision-making skills. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

To improve your assertiveness

Value yourself and your options. They are as important as anyone else’s.

Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others.

Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s  okay to be angry , but you must remain respectful as well.

Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes, ask for help when needed.

Learn to say “no.” Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other person’s situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. “I know you’ve been very busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well.”

Escalating assertion can be employed when your first attempts are not successful. You become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences if your needs are not met. For example, “If you don’t abide by the contract, I’ll be forced to pursue legal action.”

Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to help build up your confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them first.

More Information

• Effective Communication: Improving Your Social Skills - Communicate more effectively, improve your conversation skills, and become more assertive. (AnxietyCanada)
• Core Listening Skills - How to be a better listener. (SucceedSocially.com)
• Effective Communication - How to communicate in groups using nonverbal communication and active listening techniques. (University of Maine)
• Some Common Communication Mistakes - And how to avoid them. (SucceedSocially.com)
• 3aPPa3 – When cognitive demand increases, does the right ear have an advantage? – Danielle Sacchinell | Acoustics.org . (n.d.). Retrieved May 22, 2022, from Link
• How to Behave More Assertively . (n.d.). 10. Weger, H., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The Relative Effectiveness of Active Listening in Initial Interactions.  International Journal of Listening , 28(1), 13–31. Link

More in Communication

How to read body language to build better relationships at home and work

Boost your EQ to help find happiness and success

Tips for handling conflicts, arguments, and disagreements

How to feel and respond to the emotions of others

Tips and techniques for getting anger under control

Using laughter and play to resolve disagreements

The 5 Love Languages

What they are and how they influence relationships

Turning Off the Gas on Your Gaslighter

5 ways to deal with gaslighting

Professional therapy, done online

BetterHelp makes starting therapy easy. Take the assessment and get matched with a professional, licensed therapist.

Help us help others

Millions of readers rely on HelpGuide.org for free, evidence-based resources to understand and navigate mental health challenges. Please donate today to help us save, support, and change lives.