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5 Tips Every Veteran Should Keep In Mind When Writing Their College Admissions Essays

By Joy Turner

Posted on Sep 7, 2018 7:37 PM EDT

4 minute read

In honor of the start of college admissions season, I’m offering some tips I learned during my time as an admissions application reader and writing consultant tailored to help veterans write college application essays that actually stand out.

Answer the question

In the military, we’re taught to write memos and SOPs in a straightforward and technical manner. Still, I’ve read dozens of college admissions personal statements from veterans that tell a wonderfully engaging story about their time in the service, but fail to answer the questions asked in the essay prompt.

This issue comes up a lot especially for applicants using an essay template to apply to multiple colleges. Don’t focus on telling me about a personal challenge you overcame while in the military if I asked you to talk about why you chose to apply to X school. As a good practice, go back and read the essay prompt after you’ve written your personal statement or essay, then underline each instance in your essay where you directly answer the prompt. This will tell you if you’re on track or not.

Show, don’t tell

Use every opportunity to tell a story. Admissions staff aren’t interested in reading a list of your accomplishments as if they’re on a promotion board perusing your military personnel file. Instead, tell a story that leaves them wanting to know more about you and what you accomplished during your military service or in your personal life.

As with job interviews, I recommend applicants implore the STAR method – which will provide details about the specific situation, task, action, and result of the story you are telling in a logical order. Reading a list isn’t necessarily interesting, but reading a story can be. Being interesting is what gets you an invite to the next cohort. Give the admissions readers a reason to want to meet you in person by telling them a story that is personal, engaging, and thought-provoking.

Start with bullet points

If you’re having trouble figuring out how to tell your story, I also recommend starting with bullet points. When it came time to write evaluations for my soldiers as a platoon leader, I often started the process by listing 3-4 bullet points under each section on the evaluation form which allowed me to concisely articulate the soldier’s accomplishments and begin to create a narrative about their performance.

For personal statements, outline the story you want to tell from beginning to end using bullet points. Creating an outline will allow you to clarify your thoughts and identify where information might be confusing to the reader (remember most people have not served in the military and have no concept of rank or MOS).

Often, college admissions applications serve as the first-time veterans have an opportunity to write about their service and it can be daunting to get started. The content of the bullet points can become the skeleton for your essay paragraphs and allow you to easily connect ideas and shape your story.

Don’t repeat information

Admissions readers know you have a lot of awards and have traveled to various countries over your military career because they can easily read this type of information on the resume that is submitted with your application. Don’t repeat it over again in your personal statement and supplemental essays. The admissions staff wants to know how you differ from the other 100 applicants who have also won awards or worked in foreign countries, what makes you unique? Talk about what you can bring to the incoming cohort as a veteran and individual that’s going to make an impact and increase the knowledge base, culture, and prestige of the institution.

Colleges are as interested in what benefits you can provide them as you are about what you will get out of the deal. Communicate in your personal statement what distinctive role you will fill, what value you bring to the classroom and your future profession, and how you will enrich the experiences of your classmates.

Be specific and stand out

Most applicants say at some point in their college application essays that they are “hardworking” or “passionate about making the world a better place”. Neither of these attributes is unique to veterans or servicemembers, nor do they particularly stand out as demonstrative of a person’s character to application readers who are reviewing 1000s of applications. To succeed in college, every student SHOULD be hardworking and passionate about their studies or a broader cause. Instead of relying on generic application clichés, write about your personal motivation for joining the military, how your identity and life thus far have informed your professional goals, or about what impact you personally hope to have on the world around you outside of your military service.

Remember, it’s perfectly fine to discuss your military service in your personal statement despite the stigmas veterans sometimes face in our society today. The important thing to keep in mind is that the application essay is a representation of you on paper and one of the only opportunities you get to make an impression before you arrive on campus. Just like in a job interview, it’s essential you demonstrate your unique value and why you deserve a seat in the (class)room.

This is a part of a series on hacking higher education in partnership with Service to School , a non-profit that provides free college application assistance to transitioning service members and veterans

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Scholarship essays, writing a strong scholarship essay.

When submitting a scholarship, the essay component is where you are able to showcase who you are as an individual, highlight your accomplishments, and set yourself apart from other applicants.

Scholarship Application: Essays

How to answer scholarship essay questions.

The following resources from Kansas State University and University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill provide thorough overviews to help you think through your response to a scholarship essay prompt. The UNC resource focuses on statements of purpose, which are useful both for scholarship applications and applications to specialized undergraduate or graduate programs, while the K-State resource focuses specifically on the mindset needed to write a successful scholarship essay.

https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/application-essays/

https://www.k-state.edu/nationalscholarships/resources-for-prospective-scholars/writing-essays.html

Brainstorming

Before writing your essays, reflect on your unique experiences, identities, interests, goals, and values. Write a list that you can refer to as you draft various essays. 

Due Diligence

Read through ALL of the instructions the application gives so that you don’t miss anything. Create a checklist of everything to include in the essay. Is there a specific word limit? Stick to it. Do they ask you to answer four different questions? Underline where you answer each question in your draft to make sure you have clearly responded to their specific asks.

Devil is in the Details

Do you know what I mean when I say that I am hard working and organized? Sure, vaguely. How about if I say that I set up daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly schedules on a calendar synced to all my devices to stay on track with specific projects? The more specific you can be about yourself, the better. Instead of saying “I learned so much from _______ experience,” tell your reader what specifically you learned. 

Unlike other essays you may write in college, scholarship essays are the place to get personal. Use “I” and talk about yourself. The resume lists all of the things you have accomplished; the essay shows who you are and why the reader would want to have coffee with you (or give you a lot of money).

Giving specifics will help bring the story to life. While you do this, try to avoid clichés—what did you specifically feel? What did you learn: the good, the bad, and the ugly? Authenticity in storytelling goes a long way, and the folks reading your essay will appreciate the time you took to convey your experiences with nuance. This leads to the next to-do…

Storytelling

Show your reader your experiences by telling them a story. Stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end, and so should your essay. Start your essay with “the good stuff”—grab your reader’s attention right away so they keep reading. Remember, they have a pile of these on their desks or in their inboxes. Like any essay, your scholarship essay should have a thesis statement to which you connect all of your ideas. Think of this as your one-sentence answer to the essay question. The rest of your essay supports and elaborates on that point with transitions between each body paragraph. In the end, rather than restating your original thesis, give your reader a “So What?”: why this essay matters. Why did they read about your love for your local taco truck and its place in the community for three pages? A take-home message will leave your reader with something to chew on long after they have finished reading.

Connect the Dots

Read the scholarship program’s mission and what they are looking for in an applicant. Circle key words and phrases. Connect your essay or personal statement back to these specific goals and values so the reader knows exactly how you fit in with their program. Your essay should demonstrate how you would specifically benefit from and contribute to the program and its mission. Using their key words and phrases in your thesis statement is a great way to show how you are the best choice for their funding. 

Start Early and Revise

Writing scholarship essays is a tough business. You will want time in between writing a draft and submitting it to read through, not only for spelling and grammar issues (which matter a lot!), but to ensure that you are addressing that program’s goals and answering the questions they pose. Your essay may make perfect sense to you, but a reader might need clarification or more information to understand your ideas. Make an appointment to take your first draft to the University Writing Center or ask someone you trust to ask clarifying questions to read through it for you. Then, revise with their questions in mind. 

Tips on writing a “Why do you deserve this scholarship?”

Essay:  https://scholarshipowl.com/blog/apply-for-scholarships/deserve-scholarship-essay-examples/

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How to Use Military Life in a College Application

When it comes to your college application essay, you probably are not going to write about the three months you spent "finding yourself" in the Seychelles. The value of your spring break trip through Patagonia seems equally doubtful.

We're guessing you won't even be writing about the 107 cats you saved from that burning building last year.

Why? Because that is not your life. The military is. And you want to know how to use your military life experience in your college essay.

What to write for college essays?

For many prospective students, the essay required by colleges and graduate schools can be the most difficult part of the application process.

"I have no idea what to write about and these suggestions don't make any sense to me," said Rebecca, a college-bound Air Force spouse I met thumbing through essay help books at her local Barnes + Noble.

"If everyone else is writing about priceless, incredible adventures or their plans to free the world from AIDS by 2018, what would writing about military life add?"

We asked military spouses (including some former military brats) for their experience, and we found out that for many, writing about military life added a lot of heft to their application.

Rebecca was hesitant. "What am I supposed to do? Talk about the time I parked in the wrong parking spot? Or didn't know about colors? Or that PCS where everything broke?"

Maybe you are thinking about the deployment when everything went wrong: the washer broke the day he left, and your car died on the way to the hospital with you, in labor, inside it. Or maybe you will be writing about the challenges your family has faced with budget cuts, sequestration and looming layoffs. Perhaps you will even open up about PTSD.

But no matter what aspect of it you choose, leveraging military life in your college application can lift your application from the stacks of mundane, boring essays and bring it to the top.

Open up to stories about your real life

"I applied to a distance learning program at a Boston liberal arts college," says Bethanny, an Army wife. "Writing that application felt like the hardest thing I've done. But I'm pretty sure I was the only one who wrote about dealing with three girls, a PCS, and a husband facing PTSD."

The idea of opening up about her personal life frightened her, Bethanny admits, but her topic was open-ended: Tell us about a moment when you applied something you learned in school to a real-life event.

"I spent a lot of time thinking about that, and the first idea I thought of was persistence," she explains. "Yeah math is hard and you have to stick with it. But learning that in second grade, you don't realize you'll be using it one day in your own family."

This was an early lesson, but an invaluable one. Persistence has carried her through every challenge her family has faced, she said, and it's the hallmark of her experience as a military spouse.

"I try to tell my oldest girl that when teachers say "you'll use this later," it's not about actual fractions or multiplication tables. It's about what you're learning about yourself when you struggle with those."

Bethanny poured her heart out in her application, and when she was finished with her last draft, she knew she had successfully made her point.

"Military life is harder than anybody's summer internship at a hospital or your mission trip to Zambia," she says. "That's pretending to know real life. I'm living it."

Focus on a powerful story

That real-life experience is something that can help you stand head-and-shoulders above the other applicants. But to use it to your advantage, you have to make sure you focus your military experience into a powerful, personal story.

According to the experts, the best way to make your essay count is to focus it on personal experience, keep it unique, and use it as an opportunity to really express your own voice. It is your one chance to tell the admissions committee something about you they do not already know.

"View it as an opportunity," encourages the admissions team at Carleton College . "The essay is one of the few things that you've got complete control over in the application process, especially by the time you're in your senior year. You've already earned most of your grades; you've already made most of your impressions on teachers; and chances are, you've already found a set of activities you're interested in continuing. So when you write the essay, view it as something more than just a page to fill up with writing. View it as a chance to tell the admissions committee about who you are as a person."

Consider the joys and hardships of military life and how they have shaped the person you are today. Those are not things shared by every candidate in the admissions pool. What kind of experiences has the military granted you that no one else will have had?

"I knew living in Germany was unique, but I know plenty of other kids probably visited in high school on some expensive trip and would be writing about that," says Marine Corps wife Robin.

Robin is as military as it comes without putting on a uniform herself: She and her husband have been together for over a decade, and she grew up in the Marine Corps, too.

"I didn't attend a typical college after graduation because I got married so young," she said. "I did an associate's degree, and I didn't think I would ever need more schooling than that."

Now that she wants her bachelor's, she is excited about school, but the application process has made her more than a little nervous.

"The essay is really scary," she says.

Robin had a travel prompt: Talk about a trip you've taken and the impact it had on you.

"I was afraid if I wrote about military life, they would think it's boring. My mom encouraged me to do it. I think what makes my story so different is it isn't about just taking a trip, it is all about dealing with real life overseas. Not being able to work. Trying to make ends meet without my income. Figuring out I needed to do something for me like going back to school, and that it would help my family too." 

Robin is right: Her essay is honest, personal and tells the reader about who she is as a person.

Sure, her story isn't unique in the military world. Plenty of spouses face these challenges every day and find their own solutions to them. But in a sea of admissions essays, her story does something powerful: It tells you more about who she is in two pages than the rest of her application could put together.

"You don't know I'm a military brat or a military wife. You just know I have a broken employment history and a community college degree," she says. "In my essay, I can tell you who I am. This is who I am, and a lot of its military."

If you are trying to make your military life experience work in your college or graduate school essay, try following these simple do's and don'ts from military wives like yourself:

Do's and Don'ts From Military Wives

Talk honestly about the challenges of military life. -- Army wife Bethanny

Be open about adversity. Sometimes the hard stories are the best stories. -- Army wife Erin

Challenge assumptions about military life! -- Marine Corps wife Monica

Show who you are outside of your husband's job. -- Marine Corps wife Mary

Whine about how hard it is. You have to use a challenge to your advantage. If you are just whining, it should be in an email to mom. -- Navy wife Rachel

Assume they know the lingo. They don't. Take the time to spell things like FRO out. -- Marine Corps wife Robin

Expect them to understand military life is hard. You have to tell them about it. If they aren't in the military world, they won't know. -- Navy wife Christine

Use your thesaurus the whole time! You are smart enough as you are. Use the words you really know. -- Marine Corps wife Barbie

If you have leveraged your military experience in your college essay, we want to know . Do you think it was an asset to your application? What did you write about?

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Veteran Profiles

Andre was born and raised in Connecticut and enlisted in the Navy as a nuclear electronics technician right out of high school in 2018. He trained for two years to operate and maintain the Navy’s nuclear reactors in Charleston South Carolina. After training, Andre transferred to Submarine Base New London in Groton, Connecticut where he was stationed on SSN 788 USS Colorado.

Originally from upstate New York, Collin enlisted in the Army in the fall of 2015. Serving most recently as an Assault Team Leader, Collin spent nearly seven years as a member of the 75th Ranger Regiment stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia. During his time there, he deployed five times to multiple theaters in support of joint special operations abroad. He served alongside our nations finest special mission units, government agencies, and foreign partner forces while conducting direct action missions in support of U.S policy and objectives around the globe.

Gabriel was born and raised in Northwest Arkansas and enlisted in the U.S. Navy for five years after graduating high school in 2016. Serving as a Hospital Corpsman, he was first stationed on Marine Corps Base Hawaii with Third Battalion, Third Marines, and went on an unaccompanied deployment to Okinawa and various other countries in Southeast Asia. He was then stationed in Newport, Rhode Island for the remainder of his enlistment. After his time in the Navy, he attended the University of Arkansas for a year while majoring in physics.

Drew was born and raised in Edgewood, Maryland, enlisting in the Army as a financial management technician. Over his 4 years of service he served at Camp Casey, South Korea, and Fort Riley Kansas. His missions allowed him to master many financial duties including budgeting, payroll, travel, and disbursement. It was through these experiences that Drew developed a passion for economics.

After growing up outside Chicago, Illinois, he enlisted in the United States Marine Corps as an M1A1 tank crewman in 2012 and was assigned to Bravo Company, First Tank Battalion, Seventh Marines stationed at the Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center in Twentynine Palms. While serving, he deployed to both the Middle East and the Indo-Pacific region. He spent most of his career as a tank gunner, supervising the crew, preparing equipment, and weapons systems.

Charles was raised in San Diego, California and enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps in 2011, where he served as an infantry rifleman. While serving with 2nd Battalion 1st Marines, Charles deployed five times and was accepted into the squad leader development program. In 2018, he transferred to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marines where he deployed two times, serving as a Marine advisor and rifle platoon sergeant. In 2021 Charles was accepted into a military commissioning program but ultimately decided to exit the military service to pursue his passion in the finance sector.

Born and raised in rural Northern Michigan, Joshua enlisted in the U.S. Navy as an electronics technician in 2012, where he served with distinction for eight and a half years. After graduating from technical training at the top of his class, he served for three years as a radar and navigation systems technician aboard USS Stethem, forward-deployed with Destroyer Squadron 15 to Yokosuka, Japan. He spent the remainder of his career at Naval Special Warfare in Coronado, CA, serving as a tactical radio and network communications specialist, deploying with the 15th Marine Expeditionary Unit to the Arabian Sea and with SEAL Team 3 to the Indo-Pacific region.

Originally from Saddle Brook, New Jersey Dawid enlisted as an infantryman in the United States Marine Corps shortly after graduating high school in 2017, serving as a squad leader in 1st Battalion 3rd Marines at Marine Corps Base Hawaii. Dawid completed two deployments to Okinawa Japan, and PyeongChang, South Korea, designing and overseeing training exercises for his platoon and oversaw the 12 Marines under his command.

Originally from Detroit, Michigan, Kyle joined the Navy in October of 2013 as a master-at-arms. Kyle spent his career working small boat operations in Spain and San Diego while conducting maritime security and intelligence collection throughout the Horn of Africa and the Arabian waterways. He deployed to Oman, United Arab Emirates, Djibouti, and Diego Garcia. He also participated in multiple campaigns, including Operation Inherent Resolve, Operation Afghan Refuge, and Operations Allies Welcome.

Born and raised in Lima, Ohio, Seth enlisted in the U.S. Air Force a year in a half after high school as an information technology technician, working at the Pacific Air Force headquarters located on Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam, Hawaii. While stationed at Hickam, he supported, maintained, and ensured reliable network operations for 10 Air Force bases scattered across the Pacific. Seth enjoyed coding and troubleshooting network problems to make sure other bases had reliable access to the Air Force network.

Growing up in New Bern, North Carolina, Luke enlisted in the Marine Corps as an intelligence specialist. Throughout his five years of service, Luke was stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC, deploying with a Marine Expeditionary Unit to the Middle East and separately to Norway and Ukraine. While deployed, Luke coordinated intelligence activities and analyzed disaggregate information to create coherent products driving intelligence gathering and operations. While in the Marine Corps, Luke became a certified defense all-source analyst conferred by the Defense Intelligence Agency and the Under-Secretary of Defense for Intelligence.

Aidan grew up in Northwest New Jersey before enlisting as a Navy nuclear technician. He spent two years in tech school in South Carolina where he worked in a reactor control division on the nuclear submarine USS Pasadena. He then moved to San Diego to deploy to the Western Pacific, eventually returning to the East Coast and a new homeport in Norfolk, Virginia. After leaving the Navy he spent six months biking around Europe and the United Kingdom.

Charly was born and raised in Seoul, South Korea. Since he was young, Charly looked up to his grandparents, who fought during the Korean War, and dedicated himself to joining the military. Upon graduating high school in South Korea, Charly served five years in the U.S. Army as an automated logistics specialist, where he developed his passion for economics, taking charge of a warehouse function and an automated supply accounting system to distribute supplies and manage military equipment in preparation for potential Russian attacks.

Josh grew up in Chicago before moving to Georgia where he enlisted in the U.S. Army as a medic. After completing his lengthy training, he was assigned to the 514th Ground Ambulance Company at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Josh served as an ambulance aid and supported many COVID-19 missions the past two years.

Born in Portland, Oregon and raised in Denver, Colorado, Alex enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 2016 as an air traffic controller where he served for three years on the USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75) aircraft carrier and for two years at Naval Station Rota, Spain. During his time on CVN 75, he was deployed twice to the Mediterranean, the Red, and the Arabian Seas and served as the air operations supervisor and 3M maintenance person. In Rota, Alex was a part of the Operation Allies Refuge mission where he assisted in the emergency operations center and served as a ground controller, flight planning supervisor, and air operations duty officer.

Adam was born and raised in Central Arkansas, enlisting as an infantryman in the Army National Guard in 2012, returning home in 2019. He still misses range days and those moments one only shares with fellow servicemembers. The first of his family to leave the South, and with the support of his “Yankee partner,” Adam is eager to feed a nascent thirst for knowledge by embracing, as he puts it, “the expansiveness of the world.”

Kristian was born in Japan but raised in Louisiana where he enlisted in the US Army as a satellite communications operator and maintainer. Kristian served 6 years as a communicator for 2nd Battalion, 10th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He deployed twice to Afghanistan and once to the Baltic region to support Special Forces ODA’s located in austere conditions. These deployments and the exposure to foreign cultures instilled in Kristian a deep respect for the past, urging him to pursue a career in archaeology.

Originally from Israel, Tom moved to the U.S. at the age of 10. He enlisted into the United States Marine Corps and deployed twice to the Middle East. During his service, he was a squad leader focused on training and mentoring subordinates in a combat environment. Additionally, he graduated from a variety of courses ranging from drone operations, intelligence collection, and advanced infantry tactics.

Longyang was born in China before moving to Queens, New York at the age of 14. While she was still in High School, she decided to join the United States Navy, graduating from NAS Pensacola as an aviation support equipment technician. During her service she was stationed at FRC West Fort Worth where she supported and maintained 100% flight readiness for both Navy and Marine air missions. She also served on the base honor guard, performing funerary services and special event support.

Originally from Huntsville, Alabama, Isaiah spent six years in the Air Force serving as a weather forecaster. Isaiah’s first duty station in 2016 was at Scott AFB in Illinois as part of the 15th Operational Weather Squadron, where he served as a weather forecaster. His second tour was at the Joint Typhoon Warning Center on Joint Base Pearl Harbor- Hickam. During his time at the JTWC, Isaiah served as a satellite analyst, analyzing tropical cyclones for the Navy.

Jordan was raised in rural southern Georgia and enlisted in the Navy in 2015. While in the Navy, he completed two years of schooling to become a nuclear electronics technician in Charleston, South Carolina, and Ballston Spa, New York. After training, Jordan served on a submarine in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, where he operated and maintained the submarine’s nuclear reactor. He completed two six-month deployments with the submarine and other numerous shorter missions.

Ariel grew up in rural Arkansas before joining the US Navy. During her eight years of service, Ariel was stationed in Bremerton, Washington & Pensacola, Florida completing 5 years of sea service with 45 months of underway experience. Ariel deployed to northern Asia, the Equator, and completed an eight-month world tour as an aviation boatswain mate. Her primary job included flight deck operations, maintenance on hydro- pneumatic steam engines, and tac welding for the USS John C. Stennis arresting gear and catapults.

The first year of Alexander's military service was spent near Chicago. He was enthralled by the Windy City and promised he would one day return. After training, Alexander found himself in Yokosuka, Japan, stationed aboard the guided-missile cruiser USS Antietam (CG-54). While on CG- 54, Alexander deployed five times, routinely firing large-caliber guns and missiles, fighting fires with the underway emergency response team, and engaging in Freedom of Navigation operations in the South China Sea.

Born and raised in Central California, Nicole enlisted in the U.S Air Force as a munitions systems specialist in 2015. During her time in the military, Nicole completed overseas tours in Guam, South Korea, and Italy. She assembled, inspected, and oversaw the delivery of various munitions to multiple aircraft frames for both the U.S and international allies.

UChicago Veteran Scholars

Hear from veterans about their experience in transitioning to academic life at UChicago.

Veteran Scholars Study Abroad

A Contextual Approach to Supporting Veterans

UChicago takes a contextual approach to Veterans Services with a “one-stop-shop model” that provides admission support and access – a customized application process, dedicated career counseling and programming, academic advising, social programming, tailored financial aid, unique housing, and student support services. UChicago’s Veteran Scholars cohort includes representation from all 5 branches of the U.S. Military with occupations ranging from Infantry and Special Forces to logistics and linguistics.

A New Path to Admissions

The college search process and applying to the nation’s top colleges can be daunting for those currently serving or having recently left military service. UChicago has developed key partnerships and a streamlined pathway for Veterans to find a list of the best schools that are a fit for them as well as a better process of applying to the University of Chicago:

• Our partner programs include Warrior Scholar Project and Service to School .
• Learn more about our dedicated admission process and Veterans Application .
• We dedicate an admissions representative to assist you through the process and support your interests in higher education, whether that is at UChicago or another University.

Transition Program

The transition from military service to the campus environment can be a difficult one. UChicago has created a pre-orientation program offering academic preparation designed to maximize individual potential. The program also connects our Veteran Scholars to VA services, offers an introduction to career programming coupled with professional development opportunities, and builds relationships between students.

• Providing an academic focus rooted in calculus and methods/ writing curriculum that offers the UChicago level of rigor without the impact of permanent grades.
• Connecting students with VA Support; professionals in healthcare enrollment, claims processes, and benefits ahead of classes beginning.
• Building relationships among scholars (through social opportunities and various workshops)

A Unique Housing Experience

Living in community with the University campus is an important part of the UChicago experience. Often student veterans are forced to decide between adopting a commuter student lifestyle, or living in traditional residence halls that represent their experiences in the barracks a bit too closely. UChicago has developed a third option that affords student veterans and their families the opportunity to live together enjoying great apartments in community with the campus and other veterans while retaining independence.

• Offering a campus community location
• Apartment style living (studio through 2 bed/2bath options)
• Inclusive of family and pets
• Featuring UChicago House and Hall Affiliation
• Veteran community support

What I really like about UChicago’s academic environment is that inquiry doesn’t stop at 'I’ve given you this problem, solve it my way.' It actually opens the field up to 'Here’s a number of ways you can tackle it, I want to see what your creativity and your intellectual rigor produces. - Alex Kilbourne Army Veteran, UChicago Veteran Scholar, Class of 2023

Social Programming

Community and social programs remain just as important out of the military as they were in. UChicago affords opportunities designed to strengthen bonds and promote the success of our Veteran Scholars, while providing an environment for engagement by campus partners, other students, and families.

• Opportunities to have fun and build community with other veterans and their families
• Building relationships with students/staff/faculty community
• Esprit de Corps and Morale

Dedicated Academic Advisor

The path to graduation can be overwhelming at times. Decisions regarding class selection, declaring majors/minors – and associating career and graduate school paths with those decisions are common. UChicago includes academic advising for our Veteran Scholars designed to draw from individual backgrounds and interests, while offering an intersection of services that provides a one-stop-shop to support their success.

• Support/identify your academic goals
• Faculty outreach
• Dedicated no cost tutoring

Career Advising

Building on incredible systems of pre-professional programs, experiential education, and employer relations, we support our Veteran Scholars with internships, career preparation, and employment opportunities along with tailored advising in conjunction with our one-stop-shop approach with Academic Advising.

• Customized career events/ workshops/ Treks
• Employer engagement
• Translating military experience into civilian experience
• Funded internships and research opportunities

UChicago fosters a culture of inclusion and engagement, no matter your background. Since before I even arrived on campus I felt welcomed, supported, and empowered as a student. - Kaedy Puckett Navy Veteran, UChicago Veteran Scholar, Class of 2023

Programs and Support

Veteran scholars program.

Being a Veteran Scholar at UChicago means access to a dedicated one-stop-shop of services and programming that enables the student veteran throughout their College experience.

• Social Programming to strengthen relationships among student veterans as well as with the campus community
• Career Programming providing customized events, workshops, and engagements for student veterans and employers
• Academic Advising tailored to the individual student veteran's academic goals and desired career outcome while providing access to tutoring and support
• Professional Development opportunities including a speaker series and opportunities for engagement
• Supporting Financial Needs to include support with tuition and fees, cost of living, healthcare and identifying gaps with VA education benefits to provide seamless support

"The Veteran Scholars program brings together veterans from different backgrounds, branches, and job occupations and instantly provides us a network of people who believe veterans can succeed at elite institutions such as the University of Chicago." —Jason Guba, Marine Corps Veteran, UChicago Veteran Scholar, Class of 2023

UChicago ROTC

Army ROTC is a registered student organization offered on campus at the University of Chicago. Students participate in physical training, classes, and leadership labs on campus.  The training a student receives in Army ROTC provides leadership development, military skills and career training. In addition to joining a growing community, there are opportunities for scholarships which include tuition and a stipend. Upon completion of the program, an Army ROTC graduate is commissioned as an officer in the Army. 

More information is available at UChicago Army ROTC

"I love UChicago ROTC because when I can start my day surrounded by a group of people who care about me and build me both physically and mentally, my college experience is inevitably phenomenal." —Cadet Jonathan Merrill '23

Financial Aid and Support

UChicago is committed to supporting our Veteran Scholars. The College participates in the Yellow Ribbon Program .

We are also happy to waive your application fee.

"The University of Chicago Veteran Scholars program is one of the top Ivy/ Ivy plus programs for veterans. From financial aid and on-campus resources to personalized academic and career advising for veterans, UChicago has proven that it not only wants high-performing veterans on campus, but that it is well-prepared to fully support them. I am beyond grateful to be a student and veteran at UChicago." —Kaedy Puckett, Navy Veteran, UChicago Veteran Scholar, Class of 2023

Have additional questions? Please contact:

• Sherry Vernon — Director of Veterans Admissions

Pay Your Deposit

Have you been admitted and need to lock in your decision? Click the link below to pay your deposit now!

Deposit Today

Tips for Applying to College as a Veteran

Kimberly Egan

Apr 01, 2022

Tips For Applying to College as a Veteran

Are you applying to college as a veteran and need help with the application process? Keep reading for all of our tips and tricks. 

Application Tips: Showing How Your Skills Transfer

Being in the military is no small feat. Beyond making college more affordable, it is an experience that not only promotes various life skills but also develops individual skills that can be beneficial when applying for higher education. Showing how your skills can transfer over from the field to the classroom gives you a leg up in the application process. 

There are many different skills that a military veteran should emphasize on an application that are extremely useful in college, including discipline, teamwork, and resilience. Being a part of the military means understanding the rules and acting in accordance with the group. It creates a unified team that can protect and fight for the country. Utilizing these skills in the classroom can result in students who are prepared for classes, can work with other students, and know how to apply their talents to the real world. 

Julie Carballo, director of Veteran and Military-Affiliated Student Services at North Central College, believes it is imperative for student veterans to be proactive when telling schools they are interested and learning what their veteran benefit eligibility is. Along with VA benefits, students should also submit their Joint Service Transcript early in the application process so institutions know what college credit they can award. Carballo also said, “I encourage veteran applicants to provide a personal statement, even if not required, summarizing the skills, experience, and global perspective they will bring to a campus.”

A military veteran student can greatly stand out in an applicant pool by utilizing these resources and showing their interest. So, how can you (whether you are a first-generation college student or not) ensure veteran success in college ?

Consider your Educational Priorities

• Environment -This is imperative for all students searching for their future educational institution. This is a place where you will grow and develop as an individual to take on a greater role in society. Student veterans need to keep in mind their learning style and well-being as they analyze class size (student-to-teacher ratio), campus size, program offerings, available resources, and benefit processing. 
• Scholarships - Veterans are eligible for specific scholarships at various institutions. Knowing which you could benefit from will help with the cost of attending any institution. Carballo explained, “There are veteran-specific scholarships available locally, regionally and nationally. The Student Veterans of America website is a great place to start looking for veteran-specific scholarships and I encourage prospective veterans to follow the SVA's social media. All scholarships - including those not specific to veterans - can extend the life of military education benefits and ease the burden of college costs. At North Central, we also have scholarships for student veterans within a year of graduating whose VA benefits have been exhausted.”
• Resources - Just like services for low-income students , almost all institutions have a department dedicated to assisting military students. Getting in contact with this group can open up a lot of doors for students as they enter into higher education. 

At North Central College, Carballo leads her team in creating a safe and supportive place for all student veterans. She stated, “Students are holistically supported from application through graduation initially by our Admissions staff, and then by the VA Certifying Official, academic advisor, and me, who help them access the educational benefit and attend a specialized orientation for new student veterans.” At North Central, there are various student resource centers including the Writing Center, the Math Resource Center, tutoring, and the Speaking Center. All of these available help centers are committed to helping veterans and responding to inquiries quickly and through full resolution, and you should look for these resources at any school you consider applying to.

Apply for GI Bill Benefits Early

GI Bill benefits assist students in paying for college, graduate school, and training programs. Military veteran applicants can apply on www.va.gov to find out if they qualify for a VA education benefit. Carballo explained, “Veterans with 100% Post 9/11 G.I. Bill are also eligible for Yellow Ribbon, allowing them to attend private schools with the full tuition and fees covered.”. It takes the United States Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) at least 30-45 days to process an application. Upon approval, eligible veterans will receive a Certificate of Eligibility (COE) in the mail from the VA ( UNT Office of Registrar ). Students can then take their time to focus on selecting and registering for classes to earn college credit, rather than worrying about how much it would cost.

Along with benefits, service members can qualify for housing allowance called the Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), with the available amount varying between institutions. Understanding the cost for an institution can be a deciding factor for many. Tuition assistance is available at many higher education schools but knowing your military benefits and military credits can offer a lot of unique opportunities in gratitude for your military service.

The College Essay

Veterans have a rare perspective on life due to their experience and work for their country. They can offer stories and a view on the world that differs from a normal student application. Due to these circumstances, veterans have a great opportunity to share who they are through their college essay. Here are some top Do’s and Don’ts when writing yours: 

• DO emphasize your leadership abilities. Schools are always looking for applicants who can offer responsibility and maturity. Leadership roles give credibility to your strengths in both. 
• DO talk about your challenges. Illustrate how you managed a situation with problem solving, quick thinking, and teamwork. Taking opportunities to highlight your skills is helpful when generating your college essay. 
• DO tell your story. Joy Turner, a writer for Task & Purpose recommends, “Write about your personal motivation for joining the military, how your identity and life thus far have informed your professional goals, or about what impact you personally hope to have on the world around you outside of your military service.” Schools want to see what makes you stand out or how your experience differs from other service members. Take the opportunity to make this paper truly represent you. 
• DON’T focus on tragedy. While it can be meaningful to talk about your experiences, it is important to focus on you, your strengths, and your character in your essay. Getting caught up in writing about trauma, death, or depression can take away from showing the institution who you really are as an applicant, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs on military.com . 
• DON’T repeat information. Your military transcript and resume will offer up a lot of information about awards and travel. Don’t waste words on your essay giving information that the institution already has in the application process. 

The biggest takeaway for any student veteran should be to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. The transition from being on a military base to a classroom is difficult. After not being in a school for over four years, it can feel foreign at first to get back into the learning, homework, and testing grind. What matters is that as a student, you put your best foot forward with every situation you are put in and remember that you are not alone in this process. 

With determination comes strategies, close connections, and adaptation to a new environment where one can both find success and have fun. Finally, it is important to remember the unique skills you learned from being in the military. Carballo said, “One clear advantage is the life experience, leadership and resiliency a military veteran student has that our traditional-age students do not.”

For more information about financial aid and VA educational benefits for the military at North Central College, please visit their web page on Veteran Success Services . 

Kily Egan is a student writer at North Central College pursuing a marketing degree with a minor in Spanish. Egan is the vice president of the American Marketing Association competition team at North Central.

UNT Office of Registrar: https://registrar.unt.edu/veterans/faq#Home

Veteran Success Services NCC: https://www.northcentralcollege.edu/veteran-applicants/veteran-success-services

Task & Purpose: https://taskandpurpose.com/education/veteran-college-admissions-essay-tips/

Military.com: https://www.military.com/education/2016/05/23/use-your-veteran-experience-in-college-application-essays.html

More North Central News & Stories

A Favorite Essay Tip From a College Application Veteran

by j9robinson | Jul 6, 2015

I loved a recent post by my friend, Lynn O’Shaughessy, who is a fellow journalist and now the international guru for creative ways to pay for college.

(If you’re losing sleep over the insane cost of college, make sure to check out The College Blog .)

Lynn also just shared 6 Things You Can Do Now Before Applying to College on her column for CBS MoneyWatch.

I asked Lynn if I could share her favorite tips about college application essays with you, and she told me to have at it. So here they are:

A favorite college essay tip

by  Lynn O’Shaughnessy  on  June 14, 2015

A Favorite College Essay Tip

Summer is an excellent time to get started writing college essays. I’ll be talking more about college essays as the 2015-2016 admission season kicks into gear, but today I want to share one of my favorite tips:

Don’t bore the admission readers with a dull opening line!

During admission season, admission reps often have to read dozens of essays a day. It’s inevitable that the essays will blur together, which is an excellent reason why applicants need to make theirs stand apart.

Applicants will win brownie points if they start their essays with an opening sentence that grabs the reader’s attention.

Need examples? If so, you should read an  old article  in the  Stanford Magazine  that includes opening college essay lines that the university’s admission reps particularly liked.

Opening Lines from Stanford University Admission Essays

Here are some of the Stanford admission officers’ favorite opening lines from the school’s 2012 graduating class:

• I have old hands.
• The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions.
• I’ve been surfing Lake Michigan since I was 3 years old.
• On a hot Hollywood evening, I sat on a bike, sweltering in a winter coat and furry boots.
• As an Indian-American, I am forever bound to the hyphen.
• Unlike many mathematicians, I live in an irrational world; I feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants.
• I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks.
• When I was in eighth grade I couldn’t read.
• Sitting cross-legged on the floor of a Bhimanagar slum dwelling in Bangalore, I ran my fingers across a fresh cut on my forehead.
• Some fathers might disapprove of their children handling noxious chemicals in the garage.

Here’s where you can read the entire Stanford Magazine article on  college essay opening lines .

Where To Get Great College Essay Advice

Before getting started on a college essay, I’d strongly urge teenagers to head over to  Essay Hell , which is a tremendous source of advice and tips on how to craft amazing college essays.

At Essay Hell, you’ll find tons of free advice on the site’s  blog , as well as  i nvaluable ebooks  and an  online writing bootcamp .

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College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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• Veterinary School

Vet school personal statement examples

When you are putting together an application for vet school, vet school personal statement examples will be a great way to learn how to write your own. Samples statements are like templates, or a beaten path showing you the way forward.

You’ve consulted the vet school rankings , made your decision, and are getting set to apply to your top-choice schools. You need to ace the personal statement to go right along with your polished grad school resume and grad school letter of recommendation .

This article will give you a few veterinarian school personal statement examples to look over so you can perfect your own statement. We will also cover some helpful hints to make your statement as effective as possible, and some pointers on what writing mistakes you should avoid.

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free strategy call here . <<

Article Contents 10 min read

Vet personal statement example #1.

“Saddle up,” is my favorite phrase of all time and it conveys with it a sense of adventure that few other phrases ever can. I suppose a lot of this comes from my early years where I loved cowboy stories, but it continued on through my life once I started learning about horses. I think that’s why I loved stories of the wild west to begin with: the horses – majestic, powerful, and almost living embodiments of freedom and adventure.

I grew up with horses. My cousin, Brianne, had horses and I spent as much of my time at Brianne’s place as I could. I found that other girls my age liked the idea of owning a pony, but weren’t as interested in the care of the animal. I didn’t mind it. I made connections, and learned rudimentary caring techniques. As I grew, I became more invested, and I started learning about how to care for animals on a deeper level.

My favorite thing that I learned was about trimming horse hooves. There are different schools of thought about shoeing, but I have always favored trimming and caring for horse hooves in their natural state. It is a difficult skill to master, but one of many I learned while looking after horses.

With that in mind, I took up my next job working in an animal shelter, and we dealt with all kinds of different animals that came through, mostly dogs and cats, but one animal we wound up with for a time was a chameleon named Fred who had been abandoned and neglected by his owner.

Fred proved to be a challenge – a less familiar creature than typical housepets. I started to read up on the care of lizards, tropical animals, and other exotic pets. I had to keep his cage warm, but mist it with water, and I learned that if another chameleon came into the store I would have to keep them separate, since they prefer living alone. I became fascinated with this lizard for these unique care items, and for his strange feet and rotating eyes. I knew that this was an area of study I wanted to pursue.

In case you were worried, Fred the chameleon is fine; I adopted him and he says, “Hello,” in his lizard way.

As much as I loved my job at the shelter, I decided that my experience would best come from the zoo. We live fairly near the city zoo, and a short bus ride brought me to work every day. I got first-hand experience working with exotic animals, and at last, my career goals, my love of exotic animals, and my love of adventure came all together to form one, clear path forward.

Whenever the zoo’s vets would come by and make their rounds, I would ask them questions and offered to help them with their activities. Through this, I got to “assist” on several routine events, usually with helping to control the animals and keep them still while medicine was being administered or a checkup was happening.

One of those doctors, Dr. Martin Bellford, offered to help me out with my studies, and has proved to be as inexhaustible at answering questions as I am at asking them. He has let me come with him on all subsequent zoo visits and has explained a lot of exotic animal medicine to me. He taught me about how to stay on my toes. There are so many different kinds of animals that a vet needs to know about!

My extracurricular activities inspired my academic pursuits. I have been studying biology extensively, and my favorite classes are my biology labs. I was a bit uncomfortable dissecting frogs; I didn’t know how to feel as an animal-enthusiast. I was grateful for the ability to learn about animal anatomy, but I do believe strongly in ethically caring for animals and ensuring their health and wellbeing, as well as their rights and welfare.

Someday, I hope to be an exotic animals specialist who works with strange, wild species. I’d also like to continue to care for horses, and serve as an expert or volunteer for organizations, like the World Wildlife Fund, to continue to aid the cause for wildlife preservation. Lofty goals, but goals that are filled with adventure and animals.

Saddle up.

I was screaming at a birthday party, trying to fold in on myself so completely that I couldn’t be seen by the dog sniffing me. My best friend Jake had a dog and I was terribly afraid of dogs. I had been knocked over when I was little and I guess that memory stayed with me long enough to develop a Pavlovian reaction to seeing a canid.

But, here I am, all these years later, writing this letter with two dogs’ heads resting on my lap. I went from terrified to an enthusiast.

This change of outlook happened while pet-sitting for a family friend. I was forced to come up against dogs. At first, I was all nerves and anxiety, but one of the dogs, named Lion, really was insistent that I play fetch. At first I was throwing the ball to get Lion away from me; without realizing it, I began to throw it for fun. That evening, I found myself petting Lion while watching TV. I made friends, and started to love those dogs.

I wanted to know more about animals and work with them. My uncle Carl is a vet, and in early high school days I asked if I could work for him at his clinic. He agreed, and while I mostly did menial office tasks befitting a summer job, I also got to help out with the animals

Most of what I did there was feed the animals and look after any overnight patients, but sometimes Uncle Carl would show me about a particular procedure, and he always made time to answer my questions. One day he got me to help him with a dog’s hurt hindleg – how to settle the animal, hold it gently but firmly, and how to dress the wound so that it would heal.

Again, my thirst for knowledge took over, and eventually Uncle Carl couldn’t keep up with me questions. He told me which classes I should be taking in school to learn more. I took as many biology classes as I could, and I read up on extra material. I found that I learned best by re-wording what I learned, and wrote several extra essays just so I could understand the material better.

Through working at Uncle Carl’s practice, I have discovered that I gravitate towards domestic animals. Pets are so important to me, and I want to enter a field where I can provide care for the fuzziest of family members

Last year, Uncle Carl promoted me, and I have been more directly helping with the animals under his supervision. I have come to appreciate and understand the complexities of the vet profession, and have received many hours of direct experience with medicines, evaluations, care, and treatment options for household pets. Dogs, cats, rabbits, mice, and a few spiders and snakes have all come under my purview.

I also volunteer several days every month with an animal shelter, bringing in my knowledge of how to care for these animals and help them with their health

I don’t have lofty ambitions of changing the world on a global scale; I want to be a family vet, caring for pets. I think that’s plenty of world-changing for many people who need their family cared for and their pets looked after. I have seen the relationship that vets have with their patients, and it is rewarding and wonderful.

There was nothing I could do, because when you have a three-inch gash across the stomach of a seven-inch piglet, it’s almost guaranteed to die. But hopelessness is for other professions. I’m a farm boy, so I dosed the piglet with Stresnil, grabbed a needle and thread, and sewed the little guy up.

Life on a farm has taught me a lot of things. It’s taught me about how to be tackled repeatedly by my older brother, how to fall in creeks your parents didn’t even know were there, and how to care for animals. I have seen every aspect of animal care, and participated in most of them as well.

I was there to welcome in newly-farrowed piglets, to care for them as they grew, to administer medicines and vaccinations, to feed them, scratch their backs, and put them down as quickly and humanely as possible when all else failed. Never have I lost an animal I haven’t fought for, and never have I given up on them, even in the last hours.

There is no question that this life has given me an excellent skillset and a lifetime of experience in working with animals, caring for them, and coming to understand their needs. As much as I appreciate being a farmer, my favorite aspect of the job is the care for the animals, and I want to focus on that. That’s why I want to go into the veterinary profession instead of following in my family’s business. Don’t worry, my brothers will keep the legacy going.

Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about my failures, but I feel like they were an important part of my journey, so I will. In college, when I started to study subjects I would need to become a vet, I found I had to get over myself. My experiences were valuable, but I didn’t know nearly enough. I had brought an arrogance with me; because I had direct experience with animal care, I thought I would breeze through my coursework and studies. I was wrong.

My first test score I got back for my environmental science course took me down a peg or two and I found out the hard way that I needed a better attitude, better studying habits, and to move into the hard sciences with more determination.

The attitude was a fairly easy adjustment. I have three brothers, and between their teasing and besting me in wrestling matches, my ego isn’t so fragile that it can’t take another hit. I accepted the fact that I needed to learn even more than my peers – I had allowed myself to fall behind. Then I fixed my study habits by setting a regular routine – I would always study directly after doing chores in the barn.

Finally, I took a whole new approach to my studies: I went in ignoring my grade entirely and instead just asking one question after another, allowing my curiosity to fuel my search forward. I have found that a need to understand is a far better incentive than a grade. A grade-seeker gets nothing more than a number, but a curious mind receives knowledge.

I won’t say I’m pleased that my grades have greatly improved, although they have, because I am far more wary of becoming egocentric again, but I will tell you that my studies are fairing better. I put in the work and have done some extra credit work to make up for my slow start.

Between school and farming I don’t have a lot of spare time, but I have made space to volunteer with an animal rescue organization, and I have even been fortunate enough to join them when they go out to retrieve loose animals. I have helped out with countless animals now, of many different kinds, and I am starting to expand my knowledge of the animal kingdom beyond those found on farms.

With that said, I do want to specialize in farm animals and become a veterinarian for farms. I might not be taking over for my parents, but I still love that life and those animals. I can’t save every piglet with a heavy wound, but I can try. What’s more, with training, I have the best chance possible of making every animal’s life a little bit better.

Each personal statement needs to answer one crucial question: why do you want to be a veterinarian? Answering that question is the main point of your VMCAS essay , but it must be more than that, or that reason won’t be impactful. Anybody can say “I like animals,” you need to say and show why, and you need to tell the story of your journey to getting to where you are.

The reason is because your personal statement being good also hinges on whether or not your story is personal, unique, and shows your journey in the best light. You’re going to show the application committee why you are the perfect fit for the profession of veterinarian.

You have probably done more than one thing, focused on something other than just being a vet, have a hobby or multiple types of experiences in the professional or academic fields \u2013 highlight that diversity in your life. Just make sure you stick to 2-3 main experiences. You don\u2019t need to include every connection you have with animals, just a couple of your finest experiences. Showing the admissions committee a well-rounded individual with a variety of experiences and accomplishments will go a long way to being an impressive candidate. "}]">

Could your personal statement apply to any number of candidates? Then it isn\u2019t good. Your personal statement should be, first and foremost, personal to you. The more unique it is, the more it highlights your individual traits and experiences, the more valuable it is to you. "}]">

A personal statement is one of the best ways to stand out to the applications committee. This makes you more than a number or a list of accomplishments. It gives context to those accomplishments and shows your humanity and uniqueness – two very important factors in your acceptance and moving towards your future as an animal doctor.

Different schools process applications in their own way – including personal statements. With that said, most aren’t going to mark or grade the statement. That’s why it’s so imperative to make a statement that grabs your reader and makes you stand out. It needs to be a statement that makes the committee think, “I need to interview this person; I want to meet them.”

Again, it really depends on the institution; some will weight the statement more or less than others.

What you need to know is that your statement needs to grab the attention of the reader and that you should consider all aspects of your application to be of utmost importance.

All kinds are valid, and more types are better.

If you have cared for pets, volunteered at a shelter, or have more direct, medical experience with animals, anything is on the table and valid. Get as many different types as you can. More impressive candidates will demonstrate a rapport with animals – caring for them – as well as medical and scientific knowledge.

No, it isn’t. Obviously, if you have direct contact with the kind of animal you want to specialize in, that’s great, but wanting to be an elephant doctor or somebody who helps save pandas from extinction are great goals, and you won’t be penalized because you’re not one of the rare few people who have access to pandas.

Focus on the experiences you do have to get to the ones you don’t.

No, but you should be an animal lover, so to speak. Even if you aren’t 100% sold on creep-crawlies like millipedes, you can still love animals and want to care for them. Nobody’s asking you to give a shot to an arthropod, anyway.

Animal shelters, farms, pet stores, zoos, aquariums, and possibly even a vet’s clinic will all be places you can volunteer or work to gain experience working with animals.

Not at all. You just have to be interested in animals and their wellbeing, the skillset, and the requisite academic requirements and experiences. Pet owner can be part of that, but it’s not the only factor.

Brainstorm for a couple minutes. Just take a paper and pen and free-associate about vets and animals for two minutes. Time yourself and stop at the end of those two minutes; you’ll probably have a lot to work with.

If you’re still stuck, try thinking of the moment or series of events that led you to your decision to be a vet. Start telling that story, highlight your achievements and growth along the way, and you’ll mostly be done your statement right there.

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• Youth & Education

Youth Scholarships

The VFW is dedicated to promoting patriotism and investing in our future generation. If you are a democracy-loving high school student interested in a $35,000 college scholarship or a patriotic middle school student interested in winning $5,000, these scholarships may be for you.

Voice of Democracy

Established in 1947, our Voice of Democracy audio-essay program provides high school students with the unique opportunity to express themselves in regards to a democratic and patriotic-themed recorded essay.  Each year, nearly 25,000 ninth through 12th grade students from across the country enter to win their share of more than $1 million in educational scholarships and incentives awarded through the program. 

The national first place winner receives a $35,000 scholarship paid directly to the recipient’s American university, college or vocational/technical school. A complete list of other national scholarships range from $1,000-$21,000, and the first place winner from each VFW Department (state) wins at least a scholarship of $1,000. Before submitting your essay, download the  2024-2025 entry form here  and find your sponsoring  local VFW Post  as applications must be turned in by  midnight, Oct. 31 . 

The 2024-25 theme is:  "Is America Today Our Forefathers' Vision?"

About the 2023-2024 winner ...

Sophia Lin, a high school junior at BASIS Scottsdale in Scottsdale, Arizona, was named the 2023-2024 Voice of Democracy first place winner. Sophia's speech on the theme, "What Are the Greatest Attributes of Our Democracy?" won her a $35,000 college scholarship. Sophia was sponsored by Scottsdale VFW Post 3513. Watch as Sophia delivered her speech during the VFW's Parade of Winners award  ceremony or read it here .

Want to catch up on everything that happened this year? You can watch the full Parade of Winners ceremony which was streamed live on Facebook, or see this year's complete list of winners .

Patriot's Pen

Each year, nearly 68,800 students in sixth through eighth grades enter the VFW’s Patriot’s Pen youth essay contest for a chance to win their share of nearly $1 million in state and national awards. Each first place state winner receives a minimum of $500 at the national level, and the national first place winner wins $5,000! 

The essay contest encourages young minds to examine America’s history, along with their own experiences in modern American society, by drafting a 300- to 400-word essay, expressing their views based on a patriotic theme chosen by the VFW Commander-in-Chief. Before submitting your essay,  download the 2024-2025 entry form here  and find your sponsoring local VFW Post  as applications must be turned in by  midnight, Oct. 31 . 

The 2024-25 theme is:  "My Voice in America's Democracy?"

Bryant Day, an eighth grade student from Ashland, Ohio, was named the 2023-2024 Patriot's Pen first place winner. His essay on the theme, "How Are You Inspired by America?" won the national first place $5,000 award. Bryant was sponsored by VFW Post 9943 and its Auxiliary in Mansfield, Ohio.

Watch as Bryant delivered his winning essay during the VFW's Parade of Winners streamed live on Facebook, or read  his essay here.  See the complete list of 2024 national winners .

Youth Scholarships Additional Resources

2023-2024 VOD Winners

Voice of democracy entry form, voice of democracy national scholarship listing, 2023-2024 patriot's pen winners, patriot's pen entry form, patriot's pen national scholarship listing, sponsor a youth scholarship.