how to describe shock in creative writing

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How to Describe a Shocked Character

By Isobel Coughlan

In this post, we look at how you can demonstrate shock in the characters your writing through 10 descriptive words. Scroll down to learn how to describe a shocked character.

1. Startled

To be surprised or alarmed.

“The young birthday girl was startled by the clown’s appearance, but she held her tears in and put on a brave face.”

“Henry’s blood pressure shot up as soon as the balloon popped. He was obviously startled and needed some fresh air to calm down.”

How it Adds Description

“Startled” shows that a character is shocked and slightly frightened by the situation. Characters who are more anxious are usually likely to be “startled,” as they’re typically jumpy or nervous than more confident characters. If something does leave them “startled,” they may need to leave the situation to collect their feelings and calm down.

Someone who’s filled with surprise and horror .

“Emily was left aghast after the horror film. Every time she lay in bed, she saw the killer and his creepy mask in her dreams.”

“The policeman started at the crime scene aghast . Nothing in his 20 years of experience had been this severe.”

If you want to show a character’s response to a particularly horrifying event, “aghast” is an apt adjective. This shows that the character is shocked in a scared and disgusted way, and they likely don’t know how to comprehend the horrible scene. Characters who are left “aghast” aren’t easily shocked; therefore, their intense reaction shows the severity of the circumstances.

Someone or something that’s shaking back and forth.

“The young boy was left shaking after walking through the horror maze. Navigating jump scares was not his favorite pastime.”

“Despite her nerves and shaking legs, Anna volunteered herself as a last-minute tribute to save her friends.”

You can use the word “shaking” to show a character’s physical reaction to shock. When a character is so surprised that they’re “shaking,” they’re likely also experiencing a flood of adrenaline. This could give them extra bravery in scary events, allowing them to step up to the challenge or save the day.

Someone filled with surprise and incredulity .

“The news didn’t leave Ben with a sinking feeling. He was simply amazed at the change of events.”

“Everyone ran from the loud noises, except Jamie, who was amazed by the strange sounds.”

Not all feelings of shock are negative, and some curious characters might be left “amazed” by surprising situations. Characters who feel “amazed” are likely very inquisitive about life and want to learn more about the cause of the surprise. However, if a character is “amazed” when everyone else is scared, they might be fearless or interested in strange things — this is more common in antagonists or villains.

5. Dismayed

Someone filled with alarm and apprehension .

“Eric was dismayed at the sight of the town. He’d worked so hard, and someone had ruined everything in seconds.”

“Amy was left dismayed after she fumbled her public speaking. But she wasn’t afraid to try again.”

You can use “dismayed” to show a character is surprised by events but also upset and apprehensive about them. This reaction is common for any character who cares about the situation, typically including heroes and protagonists. However, these good characters will always overcome negative feelings and continue helping others.

To be extremely shocked and astounded .

“The evil mayor stumbled backward, totally stunned . He didn’t expect his plan to be foiled.”

“Alice was completely stunned when people on the street started to recognize her.”

“Stunned” shows a character who is so surprised that they don’t know what to do. This is likely to occur when the surprise or shock is very extreme or on a large scale. All types of characters can feel “stunned,” but it’s more common in characters who have very strong belief systems, as opposing events disrupt their worldview.

7. Breathless

To have trouble breathing normally due to excitement or fear.

“The young prince was left breathless with fear after the knights took him hostage.”

“Despite reassurance from her teachers, Penny was breathless after seeing her failed exam results.”

If you want to show a shocked and overwhelmed character, use “breathless.” This adjective shows that the character is so surprised they’re having trouble maintaining their basic bodily functions. This will emphasize their shock to both the other characters and your reader. Characters experiencing life-altering events will likely have this strong reaction.

8. Horrified

Someone so shocked they’re frightened .

“The farmer was horrified to find his barn empty.”

“As she walked up to her house, Emily couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. She was horrified when she realized that the door was unlocked.”

You can show a character is very scared and shocked simultaneously via “horrified.” Any generally uneasy characters are more likely to feel “horrified,” especially in more mundane situations. This personality is often seen in protagonists who must rise to meet the plot’s challenges.

9. Nauseous

To feel sick and like you want to vomit.

“The little girl became nauseous instantly at the sight of the dead cat.”

“Ever since the earthquake, Jack had been nauseous . His body couldn’t cope with the horrible changes.”

Another way to show your character is shocked is through “nausea.” Being “nauseous” implies that the characters are so shocked that they are feeling ill and may even be physically sick. This is a great way to highlight extreme shock.

10. Speechless

Being unable to speak due to shock.

“The pupil was speechless after the headmaster embarrassed him in front of the whole class.”

“Mary Poppins always left her clients speechless .”

“Speechless” shows your character is surprised to the point of wordlessness. If you have a very quick-witted or chatty character, them being rendered “speechless” would show the situation is extremely shocking for them. Whereas a generally quiet character’s “speechlessness” wouldn’t be as dramatic.

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Emotion Thesaurus: Shock/Surprise

February 28, 2008 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

When it comes to emotion, sometimes we need a brainstorming nudge. After all, each character will express their feelings differently depending on their personality, emotional range, and comfort zone. We hope this short, sample list of expressions will help you better imagine how your character might show this emotion!

If you need to go deeper , we have detailed lists of body language, visceral sensations, dialogue cues, and mental responses for 130 emotions in the 2019 expanded second edition of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression .

SHOCK/SURPRISE

· A small yelp, gasp, squeal, or scream · Tingling skin · A heavy feeling in the stomach · A stiffening posture, rigid muscles · A sudden coldness (dread) that hits at the core · Reaching up a hand to lightly clasp the throat · Splaying the fingers out in a fan against the breastbone · Pulling books or another object tight against chest · Eyes that water, shine, or form tears · A sudden onset of anger or frustration (swearing, screaming, acting violent) · A shaky voice–soft, halting, disbelieving · Asking simple questions for clarification: who, when, why? · A feeling of disorientation, dizziness, euphoria · A shaky or slow smile that builds as the surprise sinks in · Grabbing someone close by for comfort · Giving a quick bark of laughter…

Win your readers’ hearts by tailoring your character’s emotional responses so they’re compelling, credible, and realistic.

If you struggle with writing emotions, you aren’t alone. The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression has helped writers all over the globe, and it can help you. To find out more about this bestselling book, please visit our bookstore .

Prefer the flexibility of instant online access and greater searchability?

The Emotion Thesaurus is also at our sister site,  One Stop for Writers . Visit the Emotion Thesaurus Page to view our complete list of entries.

TIP: While you’re there, check out our hyper-intelligent Character Builder that helps you create deep, memorable characters in half the time !

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers , a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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November 21, 2021 at 5:13 am

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LOL, thanks. Glad it’s helping!

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You took the challenge! That’s wonderful! I’m in the middle of my book and people are starting to stare in shock a lot; I needed a reference like this to fall back on. You guys are great! 😀

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[…] simple questions to clarify […]

[…] Emotion Thesaurus: Shock/Surprise: this article is from the site “Writers Helping Writers.” They have multiple “emotion thesauruses” to help you out! They also suggest tailoring responses to your character. […]

[…] also can lead to Anger responses, or be paired with Shock. You can combine actions from these emotions to convey an even more accurate […]

[…] Shock/Surprise […]

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How to Describe Shocked in Writing: Startled, Appalled, Dismayed, Startling, Astounded, Astonished, and Flabbergasted

By Happy Sharer

Introduction

The word “shocked” is often used to describe a wide range of emotions, from mild surprise to extreme horror. While it may seem like a simple concept, there are actually many different ways to express this emotion in writing. In this article, we will explore the nuances of the emotions of startled, appalled, dismayed, startling, astounded, astonished, and flabbergasted and discuss how to effectively express these feelings in written form.

Startled is defined as feeling or showing sudden surprise or alarm. It is often used to describe a momentary shock or surprise. When writing about being startled, it is important to convey the suddenness of the situation. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was startled by the sound of a car backfiring.

• He jumped in surprise when the door unexpectedly opened.

• The sudden bang made her jump out of her skin.

Appalled is defined as feeling or showing horror or revulsion. It is often used to describe an intense feeling of shock or disgust. When writing about being appalled, it is important to convey the intensity of the emotion. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was appalled by the cruelty she witnessed.

• He was disgusted by the callous disregard for human life.

• The sight of the carnage filled her with revulsion.

Dismayed is defined as feeling or showing distress or anxiety. It is often used to describe a feeling of worry or dread. When writing about being dismayed, it is important to convey the fear and uncertainty of the situation. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was dismayed by the news of the disaster.

• He was filled with trepidation at the thought of what might happen.

• The possibility of failure weighed heavily on her mind.

Startling is defined as causing sudden shock or surprise. It is often used to describe something that is unexpected or surprising. When writing about something that is startling, it is important to convey the suddenness of the situation. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• The sudden thunderclap startled everyone in the room.

• The unexpected twist in the plot left the audience speechless.

• The sudden realization took her breath away.

Astounded is defined as feeling or showing great surprise and admiration. It is often used to describe something that is awe-inspiring or amazing. When writing about being astounded, it is important to convey the magnitude of the emotion. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was astounded by the beauty of the sunrise.

• He was amazed by the complexity of the machine.

• The sheer magnitude of the task overwhelmed her.

Astonished is defined as feeling or showing great surprise and bewilderment. It is often used to describe something that is unexpected and confusing. When writing about being astonished, it is important to convey the confusion and disbelief of the situation. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was astonished by the sudden turn of events.

• He was baffled by the strange behavior of his friend.

• The unexpected outcome left her speechless.

Flabbergasted

Flabbergasted is defined as feeling or showing complete astonishment or shock. It is often used to describe something that is so shocking or unbelievable that it leaves one speechless. When writing about being flabbergasted, it is important to convey the sheer magnitude of the emotion. The following are some examples of how to express this emotion in writing:

• She was flabbergasted by the outrageous accusation.

• He was stunned by the sudden announcement.

• The incredible news left her absolutely speechless.

In conclusion, there are many different types of shock that can be expressed in writing. From the mild surprise of being startled to the intense shock of being flabbergasted, each emotion has its own set of nuances and expressions. By understanding the differences between these emotions and using the right words to express them, you can effectively convey the feeling of shock in your writing.

(Note: Is this article not meeting your expectations? Do you have knowledge or insights to share? Unlock new opportunities and expand your reach by joining our authors team. Click Registration to join us and share your expertise with our readers.)

Hi, I'm Happy Sharer and I love sharing interesting and useful knowledge with others. I have a passion for learning and enjoy explaining complex concepts in a simple way.

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How to Describe Fear in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)

The ability to evoke fear can heighten the tension in your narratives, making your characters more relatable and your stories more gripping.

But how do you do it?

Here’s how to describe fear in writing:

Describe fear in writing by understanding the type of fear, its intensity, and expressing it through body language, speech patterns, thoughts, feelings, setting, pace, and sensory description. Use metaphors, symbols, contrast, relatable fears, and personal experiences for a vivid portrayal.

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to describe fear in writing.

21 Elements to Describe Fear in Writing

Table of Contents

When writing about fear in stories or screenplays, there are 21 elements you need to consider.

Here is a list of those crucial elements of fear:

• Type of Fear
• Body Language
• Speech Patterns
• Use of Metaphors and Similes
• Sensory Description
• Relatability
• Anticipation
• The Unknown
• Personal Experiences
• Internal and External Conflict
• Character Development
• Word Choices
• Repercussions

Next, we’ll dive deeper into each element so that you fully understand what it is and how to apply it to your story.

Tip 1: Get to Know the Type of Fear

Understanding the type of fear your character is experiencing can make a huge difference in your writing.

Fear comes in various forms such as phobias, existential fear, traumatic fear, or even something as simple as a sudden surprise.

Knowing the difference will help you convey the emotion accurately and realistically.

Example: Fear of heights (acrophobia) would involve dizziness, a feeling of being unbalanced, and terror of looking down. On the other hand, existential fear, like the dread of death, would lead to more internal thoughts, panic, and a profound sense of despair.

Tip 2: Depict the Intensity

The intensity of fear varies from person to person and situation to situation.

Your character could be slightly uncomfortable, petrified, or somewhere in between.

Describing the intensity of the fear helps set the tone and mood for your scene.

Example: A mild unease could be something like, “There was a nagging sensation in the pit of her stomach.” As for absolute terror, try something like, “His heart pounded like a wild drum, every cell in his body screaming in terror.”

Tip 3: Use Body Language

Actions often tell more than words do.

Displaying your character’s fear through their body language can help your reader visualize the situation and empathize with the character’s feelings.

Example: A scared character might tremble, perspire excessively, or even exhibit signs of hyperventilation. “She stood frozen, her whole body shaking like a leaf in the wind, her breath coming out in short, ragged gasps.”

Tip 4: Alter Speech Patterns

Fear can greatly influence a person’s speech.

A scared character might stutter, ramble, or even lose the ability to speak entirely.

This can be an effective way to demonstrate their fear without explicitly stating it.

Example: “I-I don’t know w-what y-you’re talking about,” he stuttered, his voice barely above a whisper.”

Tip 5: Dive into Thoughts

A character’s thoughts provide insight into their mental state.

This can be a great tool for conveying fear, as it allows you to delve into their deepest insecurities and worries.

Example: “What if the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere? What if nobody finds me? What if this is the end?” His mind was a whirlwind of terrifying possibilities.

Tip 6: Express Feelings

Directly stating a character’s feelings can make the narrative more immediate and intense.

However, avoid overusing this method as it can become monotonous and lose impact.

Example: “A wave of fear washed over him, a fear so raw and powerful that it threatened to consume him whole.”

Tip 7: Use Metaphors and Similes

Metaphors and similes are useful tools to intensify your narrative and paint a vivid picture of fear in your reader’s mind.

Just be sure not to overuse them.

Instead, apply them strategically throughout your story when they can make the biggest impact.

Example: “His fear was a wild beast, unchecked and unfettered, tearing through the barriers of his mind.”

Tip 8: Control the Pace

When a character experiences fear, their perception of time can change.

Use pacing to mirror this altered perception.

Quick, short sentences can reflect a fast-paced scene of intense fear, while long, drawn-out sentences can portray a slow, creeping dread.

Example: “His heart raced. Sweat trickled down his brow. His hands shook. He was out of time.” Versus, “A dread, slow and cruel, crept up her spine, making every second feel like an eternity.”

Tip 9: Sensory Description

Involve the reader’s senses.

Make them hear the character’s thumping heart, feel their cold sweat, see their trembling hands.

The more sensory detail, the more immersive the experience.

Example: “The air turned frigid around him, his heart pounded in his ears, the acrid smell of fear filled his nostrils.”

Tip 10: Symbolism

Symbols can add depth to your story.

A symbol associated with fear can subconsciously create unease in your reader.

The smell of damp earth, the taste of fear-induced bile, or the touch of a cold wind can heighten your depiction of fear.

Example: A character may associate a certain perfume smell with a traumatic event, stirring fear every time they smell it.

Tip 11: Contrast

Adding a contrast between what a character expects and what actually happens can surprise both your character and reader, creating fear.

Additionally, such a contrast can throw a character off balance, making them more vulnerable.

This vulnerability can, in tandem, intensify the fear.

Example: A character walking into their home expecting a warm welcome, only to find a burglar instead.

Tip 12: Setting

A well-described setting can set the mood and increase the fear factor.

A dark alley, an abandoned house, or even a graveyard can make a scene scarier.

Consider, for instance, the prickling sensation of fear that crawls up your reader’s spine as your character walks down a gloomy, deserted alleyway.

Example: “The hallway was dimly lit, the floorboards creaked underfoot, and an eerie silence hung in the air.”

Tip 13: Timing

Timing is everything.

A sudden fright or a fear that gradually builds over time can significantly impact the level of fear.

Unexpected scares can send a jolt of fear, while prolonged dread can create a suspenseful horror.

Example: “As she turned the corner, a figure lunged at her” versus “She had the unsettling feeling of being watched for the past week.”

Tip 14: Relatability

Fear becomes more intense when it’s something your reader can relate to.

A fear of failure, of losing loved ones, or of public speaking can be quite effective.

Common fears such as public speaking, rejection, or loss can elicit a stronger emotional response.

Example: “The prospect of speaking in front of the crowd filled him with a fear so intense, it felt as though he was drowning.”

Tip 15: Anticipation

The fear of the unknown or the anticipation of something bad happening can be more terrifying than the event itself.

Plus, it creates suspense and holds the reader’s attention as they await the inevitable.

Example: “She waited for the results, her heart pounding in her chest. The fear of bad news was almost too much to bear.”

Tip 16: The Unknown

Fear of the unknown is a fundamental aspect of human nature.

Utilize this by keeping the source of fear hidden or unclear. In addition, this uncertainty can mirror the character’s feelings, drawing readers into their experience.

Example: “There was something in the room with him. He could hear it moving, but he couldn’t see it.”

Tip 17: Personal Experiences

Incorporating personal experiences into your narrative can make the fear feel more authentic.

It can also make writing the scene easier for you.

In fact, a scene drawn from your own fears can imbue your writing with raw, genuine emotion.

Example: “Just like when I was a child, the sight of the towering wave sent a ripple of terror through me.”

Tip 18: Internal and External Conflict

Fear can be used to create both internal (fear of failure, rejection) and external conflict (fear of a villain or natural disaster).

Importantly, fear can create a dilemma for your character, adding depth to their personality and complexity to your story.

“ Example: “His fear of disappointing his parents clashed with his fear of failing in his own ambitions.”

Tip 19: Character Development

Fear is a powerful motivator and can be a significant factor in character development.

It can cause a character to grow, reveal their true self, or even hold them back.

Moreover, how a character responds to fear can reveal their true nature or trigger growth, making them more nuanced and relatable.

Example: “Faced with his worst fear, he had two choices — to run and hide, or to fight. It was this moment that shaped him into the brave leader he would become.”

Tip 20: Word Choices

Choosing the right words can drastically alter the atmosphere of a scene.

Descriptive and emotive words can create a more palpable sense of fear. Descriptive and emotive words can help create a vivid, terrifying scene that lingers in your reader’s mind.

Example: “The eerie silence was shattered by a gut-wrenching scream.”

Tip 21: Repercussions

Fear often leads to consequences.

Showing the aftermath of fear — a character’s regret, relief, or trauma — can deepen your story’s impact.

Also, it allows for an exploration of the character’s coping mechanisms and resilience, adding another layer to their personality.

Example: “After the incident, every shadow made her jump, every noise made her heart race. Fear had left a lasting mark on her.”

Here is a video on how to describe fear in writing:

30 Words to Describe Fear

If you want to know how to describe fear in writing, you’ll need the right words:

Here is a list of good words to write about fear:

• Apprehensive
• Intimidated
• Creeped-out
• Trepidatious

30 Phrases to Describe Fear

Here are phrases to help you describe, fear, terror, and more in your writing:

• Paralyzed with fear
• Fear gripped her
• Heart pounding in terror
• Overcome with fright
• Sweating bullets
• Shaking like a leaf
• Frozen in fear
• Sick with dread
• A sinking feeling of fear
• Stomach tied in knots
• Hands trembling with fear
• Fear crawled up her spine
• Fear etched in his eyes
• Terror washed over her
• A cold sweat broke out
• Goosebumps of fear
• Fear stole his breath away
• Chilled to the bone
• The shadow of fear
• Consumed by fear
• Fear clenched at her heart
• Felt a wave of panic
• Heart raced with anxiety
• Fear prickled at the back of her neck
• Jumping at shadows
• Staring fear in the face
• Scream stuck in her throat
• Cornered by fear
• Sweat of fear
• A gust of terror

3 Full Fear Examples (3 Paragraphs)

Now, let’s look at three full examples of describing fear.

In the pit of her stomach, a sinking feeling of dread formed, icy tendrils of fear slithering into her veins.

Her heart pounded against her ribcage like a desperate prisoner, her breath hitched in her throat.

The alley was darker than she remembered, every shadow a potential threat.

The deafening silence, broken only by the distant hoot of an owl and her own shaky breaths, seemed to press against her eardrums. She was consumed by fear, every instinct screaming at her to run.

He stood petrified at the edge of the forest, the ominous blackness seeming to swallow up the faint moonlight.

Fear gripped him, a visceral entity that stole his breath and froze his blood.

The whispering wind through the trees sounded like ghostly warnings, making his skin prickle. He was acutely aware of his thundering heartbeat, the shaky dampness of his palms, the dryness in his mouth.

An unsettling shiver ran down his spine, and he knew without a shadow of doubt that stepping into the forest meant facing his worst nightmares.

Her hands shook as she held the envelope, her name written in a familiar scrawl.

An overwhelming sense of dread filled her as she slowly slid her finger under the seal, breaking it open.

The silence in the room was oppressive, the ticking of the clock deafening in its persistence.

She unfolded the letter, her eyes scanning the words written in haste. As she read, her fear gave way to a cold realization. Fear had been replaced by an emotion even worse – utter despair.

Final Thoughts: How to Describe Fear in Writing

Fear looks very different on different characters and in different stories.

The more specifically you create fear in your stories, often the better.

When you need to describe other things in your writing – from love to mountains and more – check out our other writing guides on this site.

Related Posts:

• How to Describe Love in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)
• How to Describe a Face in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)
• How To Describe a Panic Attack in Writing (Ultimate Guide)
• How to Describe Mountains in Writing (21 Tips & Examples)

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5 Powerful Words that Express Shock + Writing Prompts

It was a devastating blow to her self-esteem. I’m not sure if she ever recovered.

2. Surprise

The news came as a total surprise to her. She almost fainted but grabbed a chair and held tight until the lightheadedness passed.

3. Bombshell

“I’m in the middle of a meeting here. You’re really just gonna walk in and drop that bombshell on me in front of all these people?”

“I’m sorry sir. They said the message was urgent.”

“You gave me such a start! Where did you come from?”

“The sewer.”

“You live in the sewer?”

“Yup. Doesn’t rain.”

The rat jumped out of the oven when she opened it. She jolted back and screamed.

“That’s it. I’m not living here. We’re moving again. I can’t take this house and all it’s so-called “character” anymore!”

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Be a smart writer and take advantage of every word.

Write powerful words when appropriate to trigger an emotional response from your reader.

You can write powerful words instead of dull words to incite a desirous psychological reaction in your reader while you have their attention.

Write power words to give your reader specific feelings about characters and events.

Use the powerful word in a natural way that comes across organic and smoothly. Do not force it. Just let it flow.

Power words are good for pivotal dialogue moments. They are good to consider for fiction as well as non-fiction.

Use power words to take your reader’s attention.

Draw their eyes and attention to where you want it the most.

Wake the reader up from zoning out while they are reading your piece.

Use power words strategically to get them from idea to idea.

Use simple power words that are easy to understand but that pack a punch compared to other boring words.

Write powerful words to keep your sentences interesting to your reader.

Don’t lose them by not drawing their attention back from losing focus.

When doing freelance writing projects use power words to write better-converting headlines and subject lines.

In blogging use power words in the titles and subheadings.

In emails use them in headlines and subject lines.

Don’t overdo it. Don’t try to force many into any one sentence unless it calls for it.

Hopefully, this fast short post helps you think through some of your own writing and where you can incorporate simple power words in a meaningful, natural, and effective way.

Hope this helps!

Happy writing!

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19,890 quotes, descriptions and writing prompts, 4,964 themes

shocked - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

• at a loss for words
• dumbfounded
• electrocution
• past errors
• scared person
• unbelievable

My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. After a wash of cold I step from the shadows, feeling a new warmth to the day. I place one hand on Caleb's shoulder, "It'll be okay, it will."

Shock can be good, can be bad, yet it is always a signal a change in game is required.

Shock brings a quietness within, a moment to feel my emotions change gear and girder my soul for what is to come.

Shock is that feeling of pause while the brain makes a new connection, one that brings high emotion of either joy or sorrow. It is finding yourself unexpectedly on a platform, train approaching, realising that this time the destination is not a choice.

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Word lists, cheat sheets, and sometimes irreverent reviews of writing rules. kathy steinemann is the author of the writer's lexicon series..

200+ Ways to Say “Surprised”: A Word List for Writers

I was recently surprised to learn that surprised is a nemesis for many writers. It appears with a surprising frequency in surprisingly many WIPs.

No worries: The Surprise EMTs are en route.

Emotion Beats and Physical Manifestations

Rather than say characters are surprised, you could show their emotional state with beats like the following.

• breathless voice
• clutching one’s chest with one or both hands
• covering one’s ears with hands
• feeble voice
• hiding one’s face with hands or hair
• legs that tremble
• pressing a hand against one’s chest, with fingers splayed wide
• pressing fingers against one’s gaping mouth
• quick flash of a frown on one’s face
• quickly elevating one’s eyebrows and accompanying them with protuberant “flashbulb” eyes
• raised and curved brows
• raising one’s chin
• raising one’s eyebrows
• shaky voice
• sudden audible inhalation through one’s mouth
• touching one’s face or lips with fingers
• widening one’s eyes so much that the whites show
• wrinkles across the forehead

To find more examples, search Google Images for body language surprised , or consult a body language dictionary .

(As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Can you see the surprise in the paragraphs below?

“I swear, Marvin’s jaw dropped two feet when he heard Lucy was coming back to town.”

“When I came around the corner and spotted the cougar, I thought I was hallucinating. A cougar in LA?”

“Who could have known that a brand new tire would blow up the first time I took the car out? Wow! That’s all I can say. Wow.”

“You gotta be kidding. How do you expect me to cram all these suitcases into the trunk?”

“Ow! That’s hot.”

“Why are you calling me at 2 a.m.?”

“Mother! Is that your luggage? I thought you were overseas.”

When people are surprised, they tend to use shortcuts in texts — avoiding numbers, symbols, and punctuation. Here are a few that might suit your WIP.

AYS (are you serious?)

FAB (fabulous)

FCOL (for crying out loud)

HFAC (holy flipping animal crackers)

IDBI (I don’t believe it)

LTNS (long time no see)

OB (oh brother)

OMG (omigosh)

OMGYGTBK (omigosh you got to be kidding)

SMHID (scratching my head in disbelief)

SU (shut up [an expression of incredulity])

TGTBT (too good to be true)

TMTH (too much to handle)

UGTBK (you’ve got to be kidding)

WWNC (will wonders never cease)

YGTBKM (you’ve got to be kidding me)

YWHOL (yelling woo hoo out loud)

Social Media

The internet is swarming with an ever-changing glut of social media outlets, all with their own lingo and abbreviations. Learn the vernacular if you introduce one of these sites to your narrative — or invent a new social network.

Who knows, your creativity could catch the notice of a tech guru and result in the launch of yet another way for people to spend their time. Good? Bad? Depends on your point of view.

Adjectives and Adjectival Phrases

Consider intensity of emotion when replacing surprised . An awestruck character feels more intensely than one who is startled.

A to G agape, aghast, agog, amazed, astonished, astounded, awed, awestruck, blown away, boggled, bowled over, bug-eyed, confounded, dazed, dumbfounded, filled with awe, filled with wonder, flabbergasted, floored, gobsmacked

H to W horror-struck, incredulous, jolted, openmouthed, overcome, overwhelmed , shaken, shell-shocked, shocked, speechless, staggered, startled, stunned, stupefied, taken aback, thunderstruck, unnerved, wide-eyed, wonderstruck, wordless

Similes and Metaphors

A character’s state of surprise could be compared to, contrasted with, or portrayed as:

• [amazing, rare, uncommon] as an honest politician
• dazed as a frog about to be swallowed by a snake
• like a bat blinded by the sun
• like a deer mesmerized by headlights
• like a kid who receives a computer instead of a baseball mitt as a birthday present
• like a shark chomping on a leg and discovering it’s covered by chainmail
• like an infant’s first glimpse of the world outside its mother’s body
• like the taste of coffee when one expects tea
• unexpected as a rare steak when a character orders it well-done
• unexpected as snow in [a summer month]
• unusual as [booze at an AA meeting, rain in the Sahara Desert]

The Versatility of Verbs and Phrasal Verbs

In your determination to decrease overuse of surprised , you might decide to rely on one of the following, many of which are cliché or idiomatic. Although trite phrases function well in certain types of dialogue, avoid them in serious narrative.

• appear [all of a sudden, out of left field, out of nowhere]
• blindside someone
• blow someone away
• blow someone’s mind
• bowl someone over
• burst in on someone
• bushwhack someone
• catch someone [in the act, napping, off balance, off guard, red-handed, unawares]
• cause someone to [be speechless, do a double-take, jump out of their skin, root to the spot]
• drop a bombshell on someone
• fill someone with [awe, wonder]
• knock someone [for six, down/over with a feather]
• knock someone’s socks off
• knock the stuffing out of someone
• leave someone [aghast, open-mouthed]
• make someone’s jaw drop
• raise someone’s eyebrows
• render someone speechless
• set someone back on their heels
• shake someone up
• stop someone (dead) in their tracks
• strike someone [dumb, with amazement, with awe, with wonder]
• take someone [aback, unawares]
• take someone’s breath away
• throw someone [a curveball, for a loop]

More Verbs and Phrasal Verbs

Instead of surprise as a verb, try one of the following.

A to W alarm, amaze, astonish, astound, awe, bedazzle, benumb, bewilder, cause [amazement, astonishment, incredulity, shock], confound, daze, dazzle, disturb, dumbfound, electrify, flabbergast, floor, gobsmack, jar, jolt, nonplus, rock, scandalize, shake (up), shell-shock, shock, stagger, startle, stun, stupefy, wow

Instead of relying on the noun surprise to refer to a character’s emotional state, you could substitute one of the following words or phrases. Pay attention to connotation and degree of emotion. For example, a hiccup implies different circumstances than a kick in the face.

A to M amazement, astonishment, awe, bewilderment, body blow, bolt from/out of the blue, bombshell, conversation stopper, curveball, doozy, epiphany, eureka moment, eye-opener, a first, glitch, hiccup, incomprehension, incredulity, jaw dropper, jolt, kick [in the face, up the backside], kicker, manna from heaven, marvel, miracle

O to Z one for the books, puzzlement, revelation, rude awakening, setback, shock, shocker, source of amazement, spectacle, stunner, stupefaction, thunderbolt, twist, unexpected revelation, unforeseen event, whammy, wonder, wonderment, wrinkle, zinger

Well-chosen props augment a story by sparking new twists or subplots. Would one of the following suit your narrative?

• DNA results that show a character is related to _____
• an empty box of chocolates
• a failing grade on an essay or exam
• firecrackers
• a flat tire
• flowers from an anonymous admirer
• a free upgrade to first-class on an overseas flight
• a “gunshot” that turns out to be [an exploding baked potato, lightning, a vehicle collision]
• a horse that shies at _____
• a “male” dog that has a litter of puppies
• a nest of fire ants
• a one-star review on a book
• a parking ticket
• a pearl in an oyster someone is eating
• a phone call from an ex who hasn’t called the character in years
• a porch pirate who turns out to be [the character’s ex, a homeless person, a raccoon, a raven, a relative]
• a robbery where only [something cheap and/or insignificant] is stolen
• a slip and fall on the ice
• a speeding ticket
• a two-headed chicken
• the turndown of a marriage proposal

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2 thoughts on “ 200+ Ways to Say “Surprised”: A Word List for Writers ”

Thanks for another helpful list.

Thanks, Lenny, and thanks for your vote at The Write Life. They now have several pages of comments, and I noticed yours on one of the pages.

You stay safe too! Unbelievable year. 🙁

Describing Sadness in Creative Writing: 33 Ways to Capture the Blues

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on August 25, 2023

Categories Creative Writing , Writing

Describing sadness in creative writing can be a challenging task for any writer.

Sadness is an emotion that can be felt in different ways, and it’s important to be able to convey it in a way that is authentic and relatable to readers. Whether you’re writing a novel, short story, or even a poem, the ability to describe sadness can make or break a story.

Understanding sadness in writing is essential to creating a believable character or scene. Sadness is a complex emotion that can be caused by a variety of factors, such as loss, disappointment, or loneliness. It’s important to consider the context in which the sadness is occurring, as this can influence the way it is expressed.

By exploring the emotional spectrum of characters and the physical manifestations of sadness, writers can create a more authentic portrayal of the emotion.

In this article, we will explore the different ways to describe sadness in creative writing. We will discuss the emotional spectrum of characters, the physical manifestations of sadness, and the language and dialogue used to express it. We’ll also look at expert views on emotion and provide unique examples of describing sadness.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how to authentically convey sadness in your writing.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding the emotional spectrum of characters is essential to creating a believable portrayal of sadness.
• Physical manifestations of sadness can be used to convey the emotion in a more authentic way.
• Authenticity in describing sadness can be achieved through language and dialogue, as well as expert views on emotion.

33 Ways to Express Sadness in Creative Writing

Let’s start with some concrete examples of sadness metaphors and similes:

Here are 33 ways to express sadness in creative writing:

• A heavy sigh escaped her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek.
• His eyes glistened with unleashed tears that he quickly blinked away.
• Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by a cold, metal fist.
• A profound emptiness opened up inside him, threatening to swallow him whole.
• An avalanche of sorrow crashed over her without warning.
• His spirit sank like a stone in water.
• A dark cloud of grief descended on her.
• Waves of sadness washed over him, pulling him under.
• She felt like she was drowning in an ocean of melancholy.
• His eyes darkened with sadness like a gathering storm.
• Grief enveloped her like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.
• The light in his eyes dimmed to a flicker behind tears.
• Sadness seeped through her veins like icy slush.
• The corners of his mouth drooped like a wilting flower.
• Her breath came in short, ragged gasps between sobs.
• A profound melancholy oozed from his pores.
• The weight of despair crushed her like a vice.
• A haunted, hollow look glazed over his eyes.
• An invisible hand squeezed her heart, wringing out all joy.
• His soul curdled like spoiled milk.
• A silent scream lodged in her throat.
• He was consumed by a fathomless gloom.
• Sorrow pulsed through her veins with every beat of her heart.
• Grief blanketed him like new-fallen snow, numbing and icy.
• Tears stung her eyes like shards of glass.
• A cold, dark abyss of sadness swallowed him.
• Melancholy seeped from her like rain from a leaky roof.
• His spirit shriveled and sank like a deflating balloon.
• A sick, hollow ache blossomed inside her.
• Rivulets of anguish trickled down his cheeks.
• Sadness smothered her like a poisonous fog.
• Gloom settled on his shoulders like a black shroud.
• Her sorrow poured out in a river of tears.

Understanding Sadness in Writing

Describing sadness in writing can be a challenging task.

Sadness is a complex emotion that can manifest in different ways. It can be expressed through tears, sighs, silence, or even a simple change in posture. As a writer, you need to be able to convey sadness effectively to your readers, while also avoiding cliches and melodrama.

One way to approach describing sadness is to focus on the physical sensations and reactions that accompany it. For example, you might describe the feeling of a lump in your throat, or the tightness in your chest. You could also describe the way your eyes become watery, or the way your hands tremble.

These physical descriptions can help your readers to empathize with your characters and feel the same emotions.

Another important aspect of describing sadness is the tone of your writing. You want to strike a balance between conveying the depth of the emotion and avoiding excessive sentimentality.

One way to achieve this is to use simple, direct language that conveys the emotion without resorting to flowery language or overwrought metaphors.

When describing sadness, it’s also important to consider the context in which it occurs. Sadness can be a response to many different situations, such as loss, disappointment, or rejection. It can also be accompanied by other emotions, such as anger, confusion, or melancholy.

By considering the context and accompanying emotions, you can create a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of sadness in your writing.

Finally, it can be helpful to draw on examples of how other writers have successfully described sadness. By studying the techniques and descriptions used by other writers, you can gain a better understanding of how to effectively convey sadness in your own writing.

In conclusion, describing sadness in writing requires a careful balance of physical descriptions, tone, context, and examples. By focusing on these elements, you can create a more nuanced and effective portrayal of this complex emotion.

Emotional Spectrum in Characters

In creative writing, it’s important to create characters that are multi-dimensional and have a wide range of emotions. When it comes to describing sadness, it’s essential to understand the emotional spectrum of characters and how they respond to different situations.

Characters can experience a variety of emotions, including love, happiness, surprise, anger, fear, nervousness, and more.

Each character has a unique personality that influences their emotional responses. For example, a protagonist might respond to sadness with a broken heart, dismay, or feeling desolate.

On the other hand, a character might respond with anger, contempt, or apathy.

When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the emotional response of the character. For example, a haunted character might respond to sadness with exhaustion or a sense of being drained. A crestfallen character might respond with a sense of defeat or disappointment.

It’s also important to consider how sadness affects the character’s personality. Some characters might become withdrawn or depressed, while others might become more emotional or volatile. When describing sadness, it’s important to show how it affects the character’s behavior and interactions with others.

Overall, the emotional spectrum of characters is an important aspect of creative writing. By understanding how characters respond to different emotions, you can create more realistic and relatable characters. When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the character’s emotional response, personality, and behavior.

Physical Manifestations of Sadness

When you’re feeling sad, it’s not just an emotion that you experience mentally. It can also manifest physically. Here are some physical manifestations of sadness that you can use in your creative writing to make your characters more believable.

Tears are one of the most common physical manifestations of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your eyes may start to water, and tears may fall down your cheeks. Tears can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Crying is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cry. Crying can be used to show that a character is feeling deeply hurt or upset.

Numbness is a physical sensation that can accompany sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel emotionally numb. This can be used to show that a character is feeling disconnected from their emotions.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your face may droop, and your eyes may look downcast. This can be used to show that a character is feeling down or depressed.

Gestures can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may slump your shoulders or hang your head. This can be used to show that a character is feeling defeated or hopeless.

Body Language

Body language can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cross your arms or hunch over. This can be used to show that a character is feeling closed off or defensive.

Cold and Heat

Sadness can also affect your body temperature. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel cold or hot. This can be used to show that a character is feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

Sobbing is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sob uncontrollably. This can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Sweating is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sweat profusely. This can be used to show that a character is feeling anxious or nervous.

By using these physical manifestations of sadness in your writing, you can make your characters more realistic and relatable. Remember to use them sparingly and only when they are relevant to the story.

Authenticity in Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, authenticity is key. Readers can tell when an author is not being genuine, and it can make the story feel less impactful. In order to authentically describe sadness, it’s important to tap into your own emotions and experiences.

Think about a time when you felt truly sad. What did it feel like? What physical sensations did you experience? How did your thoughts and emotions change? By tapping into your own experiences, you can better convey the emotions of your characters.

It’s also important to remember that sadness can manifest in different ways for different people. Some people may cry, while others may become withdrawn or angry. By understanding the unique ways that sadness can present itself, you can create more authentic and realistic characters.

If you’re struggling to authentically describe sadness, consider talking to a loved one or best friend about their experiences. Hearing firsthand accounts can help you better understand the nuances of the emotion.

Ultimately, the key to authentically describing sadness is to approach it with empathy and understanding. By putting yourself in the shoes of your characters and readers, you can create a powerful and impactful story that resonates with your audience.

Language and Dialogue in Expressing Sadness

When writing about sadness, the language you use can make a big difference in how your readers will perceive the emotions of your characters.

Consider using metaphors and similes to create vivid images that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the sadness as a heavy weight on the character’s chest or a dark cloud hanging over their head.

In addition to using metaphors, you can also use adjectives to describe the character’s emotions. Be careful not to overuse adjectives, as this can detract from the impact of your writing. Instead, choose a few powerful adjectives that will help your readers understand the depth of the character’s sadness.

For example, you might describe the sadness as overwhelming, suffocating, or unbearable.

When it comes to dialogue, it’s important to remember that people don’t always express their emotions directly. In fact, sometimes what isn’t said is just as important as what is said.

Consider using subtext to convey the character’s sadness indirectly. For example, a character might say “I’m fine,” when in reality they are struggling with intense sadness.

Another way to use dialogue to convey sadness is through the use of behaviors. For example, a character might withdraw from social situations, stop eating or sleeping properly, or engage in self-destructive behaviors as a result of their sadness.

By showing these behaviors, you can help your readers understand the depth of the character’s emotions.

Finally, when describing sadness, it’s important to consider the overall mood of the scene. Use sensory details to create a somber atmosphere that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the rain falling heavily outside, the silence of an empty room, or the dim lighting of a funeral home.

Overall, when writing about sadness, it’s important to choose your words carefully and use a variety of techniques to convey the depth of your character’s emotions.

By using metaphors, adjectives, dialogue, behaviors, and sensory details, you can create a powerful and emotionally resonant story that will stay with your readers long after they’ve finished reading.

Expert Views on Emotion

When it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to have a deep understanding of how they work and how they can be conveyed effectively through writing. Here are some expert views on emotion that can help you write about sadness in a more effective and engaging way.

Dr. Paul Ekman

Dr. Paul Ekman is a renowned psychologist who has spent decades studying emotions and their expressions. According to Dr. Ekman, there are six basic emotions that are universally recognized across cultures: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust.

When it comes to writing about sadness, Dr. Ekman suggests focusing on the physical sensations that accompany the emotion.

For example, you might describe the heaviness in your chest, the lump in your throat, or the tears that well up in your eyes. By focusing on these physical sensations, you can help your readers connect with the emotion on a deeper level.

While sadness is often seen as a “negative” emotion, it’s important to remember that all emotions have their place in creative writing. Disgust, for example, can be a powerful tool for conveying a character’s revulsion or aversion to something.

When writing about disgust, it’s important to be specific about what is causing the emotion. For example, you might describe the smell of rotting garbage, the sight of maggots wriggling in a pile of food, or the texture of slimy, raw meat.

By being specific, you can help your readers feel the full force of the emotion and understand why your character is feeling it.

Overall, when it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to be both specific and authentic. By drawing on your own experiences and using concrete details to describe the physical sensations and causes of emotions, you can create a more engaging and emotionally resonant piece of writing.

Unique Examples of Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, there are many unique ways to convey this emotion to your readers. Here are some examples that can help you create a powerful and moving scene:

• The crying scene : One of the most common ways to show sadness is through tears. However, instead of just saying “she cried,” try to describe the crying scene in detail. For instance, you could describe how her tears fell like raindrops on the floor, or how her sobs shook her body like a violent storm. This will help your readers visualize the scene and feel the character’s pain.
• The socks : Another way to show sadness is through symbolism. For example, you could describe how the character is wearing mismatched socks, which represents how her life is falling apart and nothing seems to fit together anymore. This can be a subtle yet effective way to convey sadness without being too obvious.
• John : If your character is named John, you can use his name to create a sense of melancholy. For example, you could describe how the raindrops fell on John’s shoulders, weighing him down like the burdens of his life. This can be a creative way to convey sadness while also adding depth to your character.

Remember, when describing sadness in creative writing, it’s important to be specific and use vivid language. This will help your readers connect with your character on a deeper level and feel their pain.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective ways to describe a person’s sadness without using the word ‘sad’.

When describing sadness, it’s important to avoid using the word “sad” as it can come across as cliché and lackluster. Instead, try using more descriptive words that evoke a sense of sadness in the reader. For example, you could use words like “heartbroken,” “bereft,” “devastated,” “despondent,” or “forlorn.” These words help to create a more vivid and emotional description of sadness that readers can connect with.

How can you describe the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face?

When describing the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face, it’s important to pay attention to the small details. For example, you could describe the way their eyes become red and swollen from crying, or how their mouth trembles as they try to hold back tears. You could also describe the way their shoulders slump or how they withdraw into themselves. By focusing on these small but telling details, you can create a more realistic and relatable portrayal of sadness.

What are some examples of using metaphor and simile to convey sadness in creative writing?

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for conveying sadness in creative writing. For example, you could compare a person’s sadness to a heavy weight that they’re carrying on their shoulders, or to a storm cloud that follows them wherever they go. You could also use metaphors and similes to describe the way sadness feels, such as a “gnawing ache” in the pit of their stomach or a “cold, empty void” inside their chest.

How can you effectively convey the emotional weight of sadness through dialogue?

When writing dialogue for a character who is experiencing sadness, it’s important to focus on the emotions and feelings that they’re experiencing. Use short, simple sentences to convey the character’s sadness, and avoid using overly complex language or metaphors. You could also use pauses and silences to create a sense of emotional weight and tension in the scene.

What are some techniques for describing a character’s inner sadness in a way that is relatable to the reader?

One effective technique for describing a character’s inner sadness is to focus on their thoughts and feelings. Use introspection to delve into the character’s emotions and describe how they’re feeling in a way that is relatable to the reader. You could also use flashbacks or memories to show why the character is feeling sad, and how it’s affecting their current actions and decisions.

How can you use sensory language to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story?

Sensory language is an effective way to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story. Use descriptive words that evoke the senses, such as the smell of rain on a sad day or the sound of a distant train whistle. You could also use sensory language to describe the physical sensations of sadness, such as the weight of a heavy heart or the taste of tears on the tongue. By using sensory language, you can create a more immersive and emotional reading experience for your audience.

Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language

What is body language and how do you use it when you write? Use these cheat sheets to help you with your body language descriptions.

What Is Body Language?

People react to situations with micro-expressions, hand gestures, and posture. Most of us are not even aware of them. However, what we do with our body language has a huge impact on other people and how they interpret and perceive us.

‘Even when they don’t express their thoughts verbally, most people constantly throw off clues to what they’re thinking and feeling. Non-verbal messages communicated through the sender’s body movements, facial expressions, vocal tone and volume, and other clues are collectively known as body language.’ ( Psychology Today )

Body language happens when we are doing something. We could be sitting, standing, or walking. We could be talking or thinking . Body language is often an involuntary reaction to something perceived by one of the five senses .

How To Use It In Writing

Using body language is one of the best ways to show and not tell when we write.

This is why we are always told to use body language in our writing. Sometimes, it’s easier said than written. So, I created these cheat sheets to help you show a character’s state of mind through their body language.

When you are completing your character biographies , be sure to include how your main characters move and talk. This is especially important for your protagonist , antagonist , confidant , and love interest . They are the characters that hold the story together and they should be as well-rounded and believable as possible.

The Top Five Tips For Using Body Language

• Use body language to add depth to dialogue .
• Use it because more than 50% of human communication is non-verbal.
• Use it to show how your character’s emotions affect their actions.
• Use it to help you show rather than tell your reader everything.
• Use it in moderation. If overused, it can slow your story down.

TIP: Use our Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

Use this list to help you with your body language descriptions. It will help you to translate emotions and thoughts into written body language.

Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, they may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy.

Use these combinations as needed.

Use our  Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

If you enjoyed this, read:

• The 17 Most Popular Genres In Fiction – And Why They Matter
• How To Write A One-Page Synopsis
• 123 Ideas For Character Flaws – A Writer’s Resource
• The 7 Critical Elements Of A Great Book
• All About Parts Of Speech
• Punctuation For Beginners
• 5 Incredibly Simple Ways to Help Writers Show and Not Tell
• 5  Instances When You Need To Tell (And Not Show)
• The 4 Main Characters As Literary Devices
• 106 Ways To Describe Sounds

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Top Tip : Find out more about our workbooks and online courses in our shop .

• Body Language , Creating Characters , Show Don't Tell , Writing Tips from Amanda Patterson

53 thoughts on “Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language”

Wow….that’s probably one of the most useful lists I’ve ever seen…thanks!

Very useful…simply superb. Will be handy for me when I sit down to write next time.

A mullion trillion thanks for this incredibly useful page of “show” instead of telling. Thank you xx

I would have liked to pin this on pint rest 🙁

This is the best of the “show” lists I have either made or found. Superb.

Love, love, love these! Thanks for compiling them. I’m going to share them and put them in a file to resource. Michelle Random Writing Rants

This is very useful.

Its really helpful….

great post really!!! thanks for sharing

This is one of the most helpful writer’s guide posts I have ever seen. It is so hard not to write “He looked at her in awe”, but think about the specific body language in that situation. It also helps think about the traits a character can have… Every person is different so one can even put individuality into the writing by giving certain characters characteristic emotional expressions.

Thank you so much for sharing this!!

Thank you, Kimberley.

I know I’ll be referring back to this list often. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you, Melissa.

Perhaps this is the best way to hone up the writing skills of one’s own and I should be very thankful to you for helping the writers through this .

This is dangerous if astute advice. Anything that aids progress writing is useful, but anything that aids progress stops you thinking – and it is only by thinking that he universe opens a portal and pours out something original.

Great information not only for writing but observation of these behaviors in action. As a school counselor I am interested in non-verbal cues from others.

Great work! high degree of observation! really impressed.

This is great. There is one word that comes up SO OFTEN that it is distracting to me as a reader and that is “gaze.” People are gazing at things, at each other, they’re gazing all over the place. One time I counted the number of times “gaze” was used in a book and found an instance of 5 times in 4 consecutive pages. But another book used “gaze” 5 times in 4 consecutive PARAGRAPHS. Why the editors don’t catch this is beyond me. My favorite “gaze” quote from a book is, “Her brown gaze settled upon the distant mountains.” That didn’t make me think of her brown eyes. My first thought was that she was seeing smog! Is it strange to say a color with “gaze”? I’ve also seen something like, “His blue gaze swung up.” (the man was driving at the time) It sounds strange to me, but maybe that’s just me. The book with the distant mountains sentence used “gaze” heavily from the second page all the way to the second to the last paragraph! It was painful to read. I got rid of the book.

Very helpful to have this all in one place! Thanks!!!

Thank you! This is great! 🙂

Thank you for this post. It’s very helpful.

This is a good list. But I believe we can always be a little more creative in mixing them up to denote various degrees and subtleties in an emotion.

Yes, Ayan. As it says in the post: ‘Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, he may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy. Use these combinations as needed.’

These cheat sheets are worth their weight in gold! Thank you for taking the time to put them together.

AWESOME! I was just speaking with a friend who mentioned I needed to do this a little more. Thank you so much.

such an amazingly helpful post! Thank you!

Thank you. We’re glad you find this useful.

Melody, Would have ditched that book too. That’s just bad writing.

Please send me any further articles you put out. This one is very helpful. It makes us aware of the use of each movement as a symbol of inner thought. Thanks

This is the most helpful article I have read about telling vs. Showing. Thank you.

Thank you, Wendy.

Thanks for this really usefull I find that I use the same emotions over and over.

Thank you! This is an excellent reference for a desirable result.

“Excellent list,” she said, rubbing her hands together and grinning. ; ) Thank you!

Thank you, Melissa! I love it!!

Excellent!!

I read this very useful and generous article on stumbleupon.com Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me!

Thank you for the positive feedback. I’m pleased that this helps.

Thank you for this :))

Thanks for the helpful post! Great resource for the scripts I’m co-writing.

Simply superb compilation ! No more adjectives.

Thank you! We’re glad that you find these lists helpful.

Very useful! Thank you so much!

What a succinct and useful list!

“Unfortunately,” (pause, lips pursed indicating deliberation and thought) “these are almost” (stress on final word, downward tilt of the head with slight inclination to the left as the speaker maintains gaze on listener indicating mock-serious intent) “entirely” (extra stress on this word, head lifts and turns full-on indicating intent) “cliché” (jaw firms, slight downward shift of the brow, eyes narrow indicating mild annoyance.) “Sorry” (head lifts, jaw pushes out, eyebrows raised indicating belligerence and complete lack of genuine apology).

quite informative, and precise. thanks.

i’m highly grateful to you, thanks a lot n million, may god bless you a long and happy life

This is so useful! Thank you, thank you very much!

OMG! I impressed to read it. Really, you are doing good job.

Very informative thanks!

I need something different for pleading. and it’s not on the list. Why is the emotion I want not almost never on the lists? xP (Arg)

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© Writers Write 2022

BRYN DONOVAN

tell your stories, love your life

• Writing Inspiration
• Semi-Charmed Life
• Reading & Research
• Works In Progress.

How to Describe Anger In Writing

When I was working on The Phoenix Codex , I sometimes took way too much time thinking about ways to describe anger in writing. If my main character, Cassie, got angry enough, wild animals attacked whoever pissed her off, so she became very aware of how her anger feels. 

I know lots of writers also get stuck on how to describe frustration in writing—or annoyance, or flat-out rage. Even when you’re just looking for a few words or a phrase, you can get bogged down. With that in mind, here are ways to write anger descriptions in a more vivid way than “he felt angry.”

Here’s something I can’t stress enough, though. When you’re writing about anger, there are a lot of ways to show the emotion…through what they say, how loudly they say it, what they’re thinking, and their actions (such as aggressively loading the dishwasher.)

My list of ways to describe facial expressions  and my list of body language and gestures can both help in showing the emotion.

But once in a while, you want to describe your point of view character’s internal feelings of anger.

Obviously, this isn’t a comprehensive list. There are one hundred phrases here. A few of them hint at physiological reactions to the emotion of anger, and some employ similes. You can adapt them or mix them up a little, and they’ll probably make you think of more.

The ones that contain a verb can be turned into a phrase. For instance, “she was breathless with anger” can be used in a sentence like, “Breathless with anger, she stood up and walked out.’ Oh, and you can probably change some of these to describe hatred or loathing. And as long as the context is clear, you don’t need to name the emotion at all—a physiological reaction is often enough!

Be sure to pin the article to a Pinterest board or bookmark it for future reference!

he smoldered with resentment

rage flowed through her like lava

molten anger rolled through him

rage gripped her

anger poured through her

her temper sparked

anger stirred within her

his fury sprang to life

rage nearly consumed her

raw anger shot through him

rage pulsed through his veins

anger thrummed through her veins

anger flooded his veins

rage quickened her blood

she felt a flash of irritation

he felt a flicker of irritation

his anger spiked

anger rushed through her

anger overpowered her

rage overtook him

fury overcame her

he swallowed down his frustration

she tamped down her irritation

he mastered his anger

he kept his frustration in check

fury roared through her mind

a fresh swell of rage rose in her

anger rose in him like a tide

anger welled up in his chest

fury vibrated through her being

he burned with anger

irritation pricked at him

inwardly, she was seething

he trembled with rage

she shook with fury

he was quivering with anger

her resentment grew inside her like a tumor

his resentment festered in him

anger spread through him

rage filled her

his irritation flared

it roused her anger

it woke her anger

his edge of irritation had returned

fury surged through her

he went cold with fury

she was breathless with anger

he was wordless with rage

he was almost choking on his rage

nearly suffocating on her fury

she was simmering with anger

he was boiling with anger

a wave of fury crashed through her

he was running on sheer anger

her frustration kicked in

fury twisted inside of her

she was a ball of pure anger

she was about to explode with rage

he felt about to burst from rage

she was in a red rage

rage ran red through his brain

he stoked his anger

a vortex of anger swirled inside him

she fought the chaos of her rage

he tried to still his rage

he pressed down his anger

she struggled against her anger

he bit back his anger

anger heated her blood

rage seared through him

anger swept over her

resentment clouded her thoughts

he was blind with rage

she felt a jolt of anger

anger hardened her heart

rage beat at her heart

rage churned inside of him

he felt drunk on his rage

anger ripped through him

anger rippled through her

fury tore through her

inside, he was smoking with anger

his anger was mounting

her anger coiled in her stomach

he felt a stab of anger

she felt the anger building

he could taste blood

her irritation crackled

she was immobilized by fury

he was brimming with hostility

anger settled over her

rage throbbed in her like a heartbeat

rage pounded in him like a drumbeat

flames of anger licked through him

rage seized her

resentment blossomed within her

his anger felt good

she felt a cleansing anger

he felt a sick anger

he marinated in resentment

It actually took me a really long time to think about all of these! 🙂 I hope it’s a helpful list! I’m going to make a few more for other emotions. If you don’t want to miss those, be sure to follow the blog, if you aren’t already — there’s a place to sign up on the lefthand side of this website.

And in my book Master Lists for Writers , you can find a lot more lists. Take a look!

Thanks for reading, and happy writing!

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40 thoughts on “ how to describe anger in writing ”.

Thank you, these alternatives to anger are excellent. xxx

So glad you like them, Adele! And nice to see you. 🙂

Thank you. x

Writing a Behavior Support Plan for an individual in crisis and I needed to find ways to capture the person’s state-of-being. Thanks for the inspiration and descriptions as some of these are helpful even though what I am doing is not creative writing. Thanks!

I really like those ways of showing anger without mentioning the word but it’s also great to have a hundred examples of how to use it with such variety.

Thanks, Maria! (Great last name, by the way. 😉 )

It is! Do people ever spell yours Donavon? Is there in the whole world anyone who spells their own name that way? Bryn is also good. A good Welsh word.

They do spell it that way! Haha!

Nice, thank you. Some of those, very evocative!!

Thanks so much, friend!

Thanks, Bryn. This long list is stimulating. So often expressing emotions, especially anger, is quite difficult. It is probably easiest to express anger through physical violence – but it is more challenging for a character who is angry and yet wants to/needs to express it in a non-violent way.

Hi, Keith! Thanks. And you bring up such a good point! I think it can be really powerful when a character is angry and _not_ really showing it, or else showing it in more understated ways.

Great list!! I’ve had many times when I wanted something other than ‘She wanted to punch something–preferably his nose.’ Or something similar to that. 🙂

Thanks Bunches!! I’m sure I’ll be referring to this list A Lot for my stories. Romances need to be full of conflict, and anger is certainly a product of that, especially in close relationships. Now that I have this list to refer to, I won’t need to burn up all my brain power trying to come up with a way to describe this emotion, so Thanks Again for burning up your brain for all of us. LOL 🙂

I might just start printing out these addendums and paste them into my copy of MLfW 🙂 These are super helpful, Bryn. Thanks for thinking them up! <3

🙂 Thanks, friend!

Thanks for sharing, Bryn! These are helpful. I reblogged your post on my blog for Write it Wednesday. (I also wrote a 2,218-word short fic today!) Write away!

I always say this, but it’s true: you are so prolific! Thank you so much for sharing…it means a lot, always!

I love all of your alternatives for anything. I’ll be sure to take note of these as well. Your book Master List for writers has become my bible. I even add my own twist on them sometimes to suit whatever’s going on in the scene at the time.

Hi, Nicole! Oh, that means a lot to me. I’m so glad the book is helpful! And I thought people could put their own spin on things, just like you’re doing. 🙂

I’ll be sure to leave a bibliographical reference to you when I’ve completed my book. Thank you so much Bryn. Xx

Oh my gosh, you don’t have to do that, of course! (Even though that would be amazing 😀 ) I hope the book is going well!

Awesome list. Thanks Bryn.

You’re welcome, Dalton! Thanks for stopping by!

I was scouring the internet for a compendious list of expressions to aid my essays. Growing restless by the minute I shuddered at the thought of exams creeping in the corner when I came across your blog. Very helpful. You’re a true lifesaver.:)

Thank you is an understatement Thanks though Thanks a great deal

Hair-trigger temper is another good description.

Just wanted to say thanks trying to make my own book right now and I always struggle with expressing anger

wow. these phrases are extremely useful and really realistic. thank u so much for compiling it

You are so welcome!

These are so good! Thanks so much xx

thx for the phrases

thanks you helped me a lot

Thank you so much! This is great!

Oh yay! So glad you liked it! 🙂

Very good writing resources!!! This is one of the best website I have ever been! There is just a bountiful amount of phrases that I need when writing a composition. Thank so much!! Much appreciated.

Hi bryn donovan , thank you for this list! I was actually quite stressed out as i am going to have my english composition tomorrow and i also didn’t know a lot of good phrases for anger. Upon stumbling on your website, i saw MANY good phrases! so if i write about a character being angry tomorrow , i would definitely hv good marks!UwU THANKS again!!! 🙂

Btw my name is isabel oops i forgot to include it! UwU

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• physical reaction

Stormsong07 Contributor Contributor

Physical reaction to a great shock/surprise

Discussion in ' Character Development ' started by Stormsong07 , Mar 18, 2019 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Hey ya'll. Help me out here. I've got a character dropping a rather large emotional bomb on another. (He just found out that his deceased ex's daughter, who he thought fathered by another man, is probably his. The daughter is 18 and he never knew her bc he thought she wasn't his)How would a grown man who is also a soldier react to a big shock? It's his twin sister telling him the news, and they are alone in his office, so no audience. Medieval-era fantasy setting. I'm looking for physical and emotional reactions. I have a general idea, but I'm having trouble putting it into words/description.  

cosmic lights Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); It's not really how would a grown man who is a solider react - it's how YOUR character would react. We are all wired totally differently and the only one who can know how he would react is you. Some people have a standard reaction to a shock. Example: when my Dad died my sister cried and she did so for weeks. (Pretty standard wouldn't you say, quite understandable) my sister is an emotional person. She feels things immediately and deeply. Very sensitive. When my Dad died. I didn't cry not in that moment, not for weeks. Odd? I thought so at the time, I felt quite guilty that I didn't really feel anything. I felt perfectly fine. I went home, I went to bed, straight to sleep, woke up the next morning and did my routine. I was in shock and when it hit me it really hit me but it took about a week, My personality is different from my sister's. My relationship with my Dad was a closer one, I am ten years younger and needed him more, perhaps. She has dealt with a shock to her system like that before. I never had. It was like my brain just didn't know how to cope and it just stalled. When onto automatic pilot. See people react to things differently. What's your characters life like? How close is he to his emotions? Did he have a good father? Maybe no father at all or a bad one? what are his fears as a human? Some people just can't handle things that changes their life/beliefs. Does he have a character lie and does it tie in with this new information? You know him better than anyone as you created him. Maybe try thinking of him as a real, living, breathing person not just a fictional character. Best of luck.  

XRD_author Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Perhaps people can suggest movie scenes where people experienced surprise or shock. I can only think of three examples off hand, and they're maybe not great: Luke Skywalker's reaction to "No. I am you're father." Zorg's reaction in Fifth Element to the case being empty. Danny DeVito's reaction in Twins to "Five million dollars." -- okay, probably not applicable.​  

Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); XRD_author said: ↑ Luke Skywalker's reaction to "No. I am you're father." Click to expand...

Partridge Senior Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Being A: a grown man, and B: a grown man who is buddies with quite a few ex-forces guys, this is my take: Initial reaction? Silence. Drinking the new information in, decoding what it meant and how they should react - She looked at me wide-eyed, mouth agape, her face frozen in expectant fear, slowly sliding into concern. I looked into her eyes like they were the only thing in the room, trying to suck the truth from them. Was this her idea of joke? Did she even believe this herself? But my sister's eyes didn't flinch. They stayed locked on mine, steady and understanding. This was true. I had a daughter. So many questions flashed across my mind at once, too many for me to even know what they were. I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know how I should feel. Angry? Sad? Happy? Then, I think the physical elements would begin showing themselves. This is based purely on how I would probably react - A cold, tingling kind of numbness spread across my forehead, into my mouth, into my cheeks. I couldn't speak because the muscles in my mouth were paralysed. Even if I could speak, I wouldn't know what to say. I noticed that my knees were shaking. My stomach opened up into a sickly, empty pit. My backside found the chair, but I didn't remember sitting down. I was on auto pilot. I got my mouth to work again. 'Where,' I was suprised by the hoarseness of my own voice. 'is she now?'  

The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Stormsong07 said: ↑ The daughter is 18 and he never knew her bc he thought she wasn't his)How would a grown man who is also a soldier react to a big shock? Click to expand...

matwoolf Banned Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); AD 1400 'My brother, you recall Madeleine?' 'The bastard child of Penelope d'Stable and the Earl of Grantham before their demise, their plague-wasting death?' 'Ya, the very same, she's actually your kid.' 'She is not.' 'She is.' 'Not never, move on, talk about something else. Oh, and remove thyself from [atop] my castle office photocopier. Go lie on straw in the hall, sister.' ... AD1400 +3 Bells 'But why canst thou not perform, my Lord? Am I not desirable in the chamber or in the eyes.' 'Madeleine, my harlot, your eyes are more wonderful, more familiar...' 'So...' 'So...yes...let us continue in our love-making...'  

Virgo76 Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); It's very common to completely fall over when receiving very shocking news e.g. the death of a loved one.  

jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Stormsong07 said: ↑ Hey ya'll. Help me out here. I've got a character dropping a rather large emotional bomb on another. (He just found out that his deceased ex's daughter, who he thought fathered by another man, is probably his. The daughter is 18 and he never knew her bc he thought she wasn't his)How would a grown man who is also a soldier react to a big shock? It's his twin sister telling him the news, and they are alone in his office, so no audience. Medieval-era fantasy setting. I'm looking for physical and emotional reactions. I have a general idea, but I'm having trouble putting it into words/description. Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Well, what I should have said is that the scene is from the sister's POV. That's why I was looking for physical reactions, bc she would be watching him closely to make sure he was OK. I went with this: "....I'm here to talk about Rosalie," said Daria. “What of her?” Gavan’s voice was sullen. “I already told you everything. I pushed her away, and to prove it, she married that baker, Edrick.” He made the other man’s name sound like the worst kind of swear word. Daria stepped forward and placed her hand on her twin’s arm. “Edrick isn’t Kaelie’s father, Gavan.” “What?” His head whipped around so fast that Daria heard his neck pop. “How do you know?” “Kaelie told me. She said that Edrick was her adoptive father, and that Rosalie never told him who her real father was. She said Rosalie only said--how did she put it?-- that her father ‘wasn’t the person she thought him to be’.” Daria nodded, satisfied she’d gotten the wording right. Gavan sagged back against his desk. “Do--do you think that Kaelie--is mine?” Then they get interrupted by some pretty serious stuff that takes precedence. Essentially, Gavan always assumed that after their big blow-up, Rosalie married Edrick and got knocked up as a sort of "eff-you" to Gavan. So, while yes, he realized it was possible the child was his, he never really considered it, bc he thought she was some sort of revenge-child. (Gavan's got some issues lol) So I guess now the question is, does this sound believable? Do you think it would have any lasting impact? Gavan is the captain of his war company, and Kaelie just recently joined a different company as a recruit. There is about to be a big battle in which both companies will be fighting. Do you think Gavan will be affected by the fact that his potential daughter (potential bc it hasn't been confirmed yet) is embroiled in this war? He's a hard, bitter man who thinks that women have no place on the battlefield. Reading over this, I'm thinking that he's gonna be worrying about K. during the fight and perhaps make some mistake that ends up with him getting injured/making a bad decision/something like that. I know I've only given part of the information to you guys, but what do you think?  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Sounds believable to me. Whether it have lasting impact on Gavan depends on him, which means you decide. Some men couldn't care less about the bastards they've sired. Others would view any child of theirs as a treasure, especially if they never married themselves. News like this tends to make people distracted until they've processed it thoroughly. Your mind keeps returning to it: "Is that true? If it is, should I tell her? If I do, how will she ..." and so on. Being distracted on the battlefield isn't good.  

Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); XRD_author said: ↑ "Five million dollars." -- okay, probably not applicable. Click to expand...

Fallow Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); I very much doubt any adult is going to scream and contort like Luke Skywalker due to finding out about paternity. Seems like one of those quiet contemplation moments while he figures out what he should feel about it, rather than have a specific strong reaction. Finding out you have a child is always going to be a mix of feelings because of lost time, disconnection and new responsibilities.  

EBohio Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_663b5ffeae5d7ecb79b6df4181f58cd0'); }); Since you said physical reaction and not words, try to describe a person's face as if they said "what???".  

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HELPFUL TIP:

Definition:, physical signals and behaviors:, internal sensations:, mental responses:, cues of acute or long term disbelief:, may escalate to:, cues of suppressed disbelief:, may de-escalate to:, associated power verbs:.